TOBR
Those of Black Roses
Quatre R. Winner X Duo Maxwell
Shounen-ai





The morning was quiet, the quiet wash of sunshine illuminating the rooms of the Winner estate mansion. Yet, even with the sun at its highest, only one room was still in darkness. Not even the rays could penetrate the thick curtains pulled over the window. Obscurity, darkness, shadows, all of these words meant peace to the occupant of the room, the figure hidden behind closed door, where no one would bother him.

Duo's mind was a mess. The world was finally at peace, but did it matter to him? No, of course not. Because even after all the battles, after the whole ordeal, he didn't feel as if he was happy. He didn't feel at if he were whole, something was missing, but what?

What, that was always the question he asked himself. It was always there, he couldn't stop thinking of it. His heart ached, and he would soon have another stream of tears run down his face. The others didn't understand him, and that was the way he wanted it to be. Trowa hid behind a mask, and so did Heero, behind a mask without emotion. But he, he was different, he only hid behind a mask of happiness, he would laugh when his chest ached, would make jokes when his head throbbed, and no one noticed. No one.

A single tear ran down his cheek, his violet eyes closed and he placed his chin on his knees. A soft and low mutter came out of his mouth, and he sighed. If he stayed too long inside his rooms, the others would suspect something.

The ex-pilot got up and opened the curtains. He winced, feeling the hot rays on his skin, he quickly got goosebumps. Yes, the morning sun was beautiful, but how much it did not compare to the elegance of the moon, the shimmer of the stars. How such could one not find such loveliness breathtaking? But how many people could see the night as he saw it?

"Duo, are you there?" The voice from the other side of the locked door almost made Duo's heart miss a beat. Quatre. He knocked gently against the thin wood, and asked another time, only louder. "Duo?"

For a moment, Duo looked blankly at the closed door, his mind blurred and confused. Snapping out of it, he quickly mumbled back, but not in an annoying tone, just in his usual, exited and happy tone, the one every one would know him by, and the one that hurt his chest, so much his voice was almost shaken. "I'm here!"

Duo could hear Quatre sighing lightly and laughing weakly. "For a minute there, I though you'd gone out like everyone else!" He paused, then continued in a more calm voice. "I made breakfast, if you'd like to join me. Okay, see you soon, Duo!"

The delicate footsteps were soon unheard, and he was alone once again. Groaning, Duo got up and threw on a white dress shirt to top off his black pants and his braid laid loosely over his back. Of course, he wouldn't let Quatre eat alone, unless he would want to bring more attention towards himself. Sighing again, he opened the door and made his way towards the kitchen.

Quatre was already preparing the table when he entered. Usually, he would have been up early, and everyone would be around the table, but where were they? Duo thought about it a second, and would ask it later. He gave the Arabian a weak smile as he entered and sat at the table.

"Where is everyone?" The question came out of his mouth even before he could wait for the right time to ask it.

The other turned around with two glasses in his hands. His blond hair gently pushed aside by a pale, gentle hand. "Heero, Trowa, and Wufei went to meet up with someone, maybe Relena. The girls were supposed to meet in town, but didn't want to bother you because they saw you sleeping, and I had to stay here because I thought it wouldn't be very nice to leave you alone."

The girls. Oh, how he didn't want to think of that. By the girls, it meant Hilde with it. Duo gently closed his eyes and felt his lower lip tremble. Last night, how could he forget? It was last night were Hilde had said to him that she loved him, and what was his answer?

"Hilde..." I don't love you. I can't love you. The words wanted to come out, yet they couldn't. And he just couldn't tell her that he loved her, mostly because he never felt total joy with her, he knew she wasn't the one. How could the Shinigami himself be in love? He killed millions of people who were in love, and he himself had been unable to love. That phrase came back to him: No one understood him.

"Duo?"

Duo blinked twice and looked into Quatre's blue eyes. So innocent. But there was also worry in his eyes, and almost pity. Quickly, he grinned and threw an arm into the air and exclaimed to Quatre that he was okay, and he was just a little sleepy.

But why did it hurt him so much to lie to Quatre? He would often hurt after lying, but why so much, as if someone had impaled a knife into his very own heart, if he had one. In reality, his heart was probably enveloped by a shadow of his own doubt.

"Are you sure?" Quatre was persistent, and was clearly worried. Duo felt almost at ease with him, he felt as if Quatre was someone he could confide to, yet he told himself other than that. He continued: "You haven't been feeling well lately? You've seemed down, is something going on?"

Is something going on? Yes, Duo though, my whole life is crumbling apart. Yet he didn't want to make Quatre scared, same as for everyone else. Before he had met them all, he felt so good, being alone, all the time. Or was it?

"No! I'm feeling alright," he shrugged. "Just a little tired, maybe, probably."

Duo's ignorance began to seep into Quatre, he felt so hurt when he knew that something was wrong with Duo, yet he wouldn't let him help. The other ex-pilot looked in front of him, at Duo looking into the bowl of cereal with a blank face, lost in thought. His eyes were so weary, so empty. What could have happened?

Quatre sighed, both in annoyance and in tiredness. He put his spoon beside the un-touched bowl of food, and looked at Duo with pleading eyes. "Duo, please. I know something is wrong, I just know it. Why won't you tell me?"

The question and statement both suprised Duo. Why was Quatre so taken over by Duo's first signs of melancholy? And why would it concern him too much? He quietly cursed himself for letting so much of himself seep through, he didn't even notice.

Yet the next action he made stunned even himself. Duo got up, and walked in front of Quatre, his blank purple eyes emitting a slight shimmer while he looked into the other's begging blue eyes. Duo's arm couldn't stop, he embraced the other pilot into his arms and kissed him.

Never in his life had he tasted anything so sweet. The compassionate feel of his lips, his mouth. A sweet aroma came to Duo's nose, but he couldn't point out on what it was. He kept the pressure between them harder, and his tongue only wanted to slip into Quatre's mouth and caress his tongue. A moan escaped, but it was difficult to say if it had been Quatre or Duo. They both pulled back at the same time, Duo's arms retreating behind his back.

"I-I... I'm sorry, Quatre. I didn't know what came over me..." He paused, then began retreating back to his room, almost running. He cursed himself for doing that, and he didn't even look back as he slammed the door shut behind him and closed the curtains of his room.

"You idiot! What's Quatre going to do now? I can't believe I did that..." He hissed under his breath. Already his back at the door, he embraced his arms around his knees and buried his face into his knees. His low voice kept repeating the last phrase over again, until it stopped, and the silence began to seep in the room, as well as the house.

Several minutes went by in total silence, but they felt like hours. Time would go so slow when you'd want it to go fast, and so fast when you would rather enjoy the moment and take the time to get each feeling discovered, every part known as yourself. Just the time to fully appreciate that single moment, and before you know it, it would already be gone.

"Duo..." Quatre's soft voice shattered the silence as he opened the door and whispered, so softly that even Duo couldn't make out the full phrase or what Quatre had just said.

It was so shameful to be in front of Quatre now, and Duo cringed and held back the urge to just run away. He waited for him to ask the questions, to demand an answer for his action, but nothing more came out of the Arabian's mouth except a low sigh.

"Quatre... I can explain..." Duo moaned to himself. His back was turned from Quatre, so he couldn't see his expression, and he was glad that he couldn't see his. But the truth was, that he just couldn't explain to Quatre, he had great difficulty to think about it himself.

Duo began another phrase, but found Quatre leaning over his shoulder, and a pale soft finger pushed against his pursed lips. It felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. His eyes met Quatre's, and he closed his eyes as the other whispered in his ears.

"Don't."

A new feeling came over Duo, and he began to gently kiss Quatre's finger. The other looked at him with saddened eyes, and took the time to enjoy his kisses, with his lips so soft.

"Duo, please tell me what's wrong..." His voice sounded hurt, and Duo could see how much he was hurting Quatre by keeping it from him. But how could he explain it to him, when the reason itself was too complex for himself to understand?

"I don't know how to explain it... I just... can't..."

"You don't want to be alone?"

"Quatre..." Duo looked deeply at Quatre, was it possible that he could understand him? His heart ached so much from all the things he had kept to himself, and he never would have thought that someone would know his hurt, netherless understood it.

After a small pause, he closed his eyes and opened them again to look back at one on his shoulder. "No... I don't. Loneliness destroys me, it eats away my reason for living. What's the point of living if no one cares about you? No one to come back to after a battle, no one to tell you everything's okay when you've lost hope. I don't want to be lonely again, Quatre..."

He could already feel his eyes burn up with tears, even though he tried to keep them away. They began to stream down his cheeks and onto his hands. "I just don't want to be alone anymore..."

Quatre's hand touched Duo's cheek, brushing away the tears. His eyes were so soft, and they looked so much like the deepest of night, small stars seemed to twinkle, and he then placed one arm over Duo's shoulder, and the other around his waist while he was still placed behind him. His cheek cuddled against his, and he whispered softly into his ear. "Duo... can I be the one you come back to after a fight? Can I be the one who tells you everything's okay when you've lost hope? Can I be yours?"

Duo wrapped his arms around Quatre's, and he could already feel a smile forming over his face. "Yes, Quatre, you can be mine, and I'll be yours." His lips brushed against his, his tongue gently massaging the other's, so gently, feeling his heart being free of the shadow that once enveloped it. Between a small sight, he whispered to himself, as well as promised to himself. "I'll never be alone again..."


Author's Note: This was my very first Gundam Wing fic, so sorry if it's a little out of subject. Yep, my favorite pairing is Quatre and Duo, they're so kawaii together. Anyways, my first idea was to add a lemon for the ending, but I'm still not certain. If any of you would like me to add a lemon, please tell me! And as usual, please review!