A/N: Contains lyrics from 'The Sign' by Ace of Base
DISCLAIMER: Daria and all associated characters are owned by MTV. This is for entertainment purposes only and no money or other goods have exchanged hands.
POP GOES THE SLOANE
Tom and Daria were sat on Daria's bed. Tom was in awe at the place.
"You know, I'm pretty sure there are schizophrenic shut-ins hidden in the Sloane lineage somewhere," Tom said.
"But no-one ever lives to talk about it," Daria replied.
They were interrupted by Helen shouting from downstairs. "Daria, can you come down here for a minute?"
Daria sighed. "I'll be right back."
Tom continued looking around the room when Daria left, and noticed her closet was wide open. After staring for a minute, curiousity got the better of him and he walked over. There wasn't much in there. A cardboard box of stuff, and clothes that were mostly the same as what she was already wearing. A slight twinkle of light at the back of the closet caught his eye. He took a closer look and saw a hanger with a pink dress and a pink and black jacket with 'Wendy' spelled out in sequins on the back. There was also a wig of long, blonde hair on the hanger.
"Ahem."
Tom spun around to see Daria stood behind him, arms folded with a look of annoyance on her face.
"Do you always go rifling through your girlfriend's closet the first time you go into her bedroom?"
"I'm sorry, I just got overcome with curiousity and..."
"I don't think my skirts would fit you, Tom," she said, walking over to her bedroom door and closing it.
They both sat on the bed in silence for a moment before Tom finally had the nerve to speak up.
"OK, I have to ask. How long have you been a fan of Wendy Marenghi?"
Daria stared at him in shock. "Wendy Marenghi?"
"I know people have oddities in their music collections, but terrible bubblegum pop covers seem more like the sort of thing your sister might listen to than you."
Daria glared at Tom. "I am not a fan of Wendy Marenghi."
"Oh come on, Daria, you don't have to hide things from me," Tom said with a smirk, "I've seen the sequin jacket and the wig. Everyone has a dark secret."
"No, Tom, you don't understand."
With that, Daria got up from the bed and went into her closet. She rooted around the cardboard box on the floor and pulled out a microphone. She walked and stood across the room from Tom, who watched her with intrigue. She tapped her foot in a rhythm and, to his surprise, started singing.
"I got a new life, you would hardly recognize me I'm so glad..."
Tom sat there in shock. The saccharine sweet singing voice coming from his girlfriend's lips was a complete contrast to the unenthusiastic voice she talked in. Then, it hit him.
"You... you are Wendy Marenghi?"
Daria stopped singing and looked at him. "That's right, Tom, now you get it," she said, "By day, I'm a sarcastic, sardonic bookworm who dresses in bulky jackets and boots. By night, I'm a pop starlet who performs pop covers in front of thousands of kids and teenagers."
She then started advancing on him menacingly with the microphone, "And now you know my deepest, darkest secret, I'm afraid I can't let you leave this room."
Daria looked in the mirror and adjusted her blonde wig. She took a tissue from the box on her dresser and wiped the last of Tom's blood from her microphone. She looked at her pink dress and jacket, her glasses replaced with contact lenses. She pressed play on her CD player and started to sing once more.
"I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign..."