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DISCLAIMER: All Star Wars references and characters belong to LucasFilms.
Everytime I look into his clear and still-young blue eyes, I have to force my true feelings back down my throat. These undeniable feelings are meant to be unspoken forever.
Every single moment that my young husband is away from me, I must admit freely that I let out a long sigh of relief. It is just yet another peaceful moment alone without the tremendous weight of my quiet guilt crashing down upon me.
Every single dark and quiet night, right before I lay my head of brown curls down to sleep on my pillow, I pray to the heavens and the force that he will never find out my never-ending secret.
He is not meant to know.
All of his actions and outer feelings toward me suggest that he believes all the lies that I have silently fed him during our short time together, and I pray that his childish understanding of our relationship will always stay that way.
In his childish and naive mind, he is a brave warrier. He truly believes that he is brave ans strong and fearless, but I know that he is not.
I still see just a small Tatooine child in his blue eyes and in his reckless actions, which is the true main reason why I don't love him the way he believes.
Every single time I tell him that I love him ; it is simply out of pure habit.
When he is holding me tightly to his bare chest at night, he searches my brown eyes into my soul with his own eyes, to try to decifer how deep my love for him really flows.
He suspects nothing, however, and my undiscovered talet as a great actress shines through, without his knowledge, proving his innocence that is still much like a young child's.
I hate having to lie to someone I consider a dear, dear friend to me, especially one that I share a bed with, a true surname, and two unborn beings inside me.
But I must do what the force has instructed me to.
The entire future of the galaxy would be destroyed if I really listened to my heart.
I know that I am not destined to have true love in my life, but hopefully by going along with this facade that I play my life by every day, I can give a young man his dream of love. I can also protect the galaxy from his endless wrath if I ever told him the truth.
So I live here on this Coruscant planet, day after day, living a complete and secret lie.
But do you know the best part about it? ... He'll never know.