Ok, so, I was bored - it's been raining here a lot lately - and I came up with this. It's only a one shot. This is before Bella's changed and the wedding. Probably OOC a bit, but that's what makes it fun. Enjoy!
"Bella…" Alice whined pleadingly.
"No!" Bella said firmly before her little friend could go on. They'd had this conversation a thousand times over the past few days, and Bella refused to give an inch. Or so she told herself.
"But, Bella, we've been working on the wedding forever and I haven't had a chance -" Alice began, eyes wide and sad.
"Alice, all you've been doing is shopping for the wedding! Shop, shop, and yet more shopping!" She threw up her hands in exasperation. "And now you're telling me that you haven't had a chance to go shopping? That doesn't make sense!"
Alice's eyes widened with something akin to horror. "Bella. Shopping for the wedding, and shopping to shop are two completely different things." She said it as if it were as obvious as the fact that the sky was blue, not green.
"No, they're not."
"Bella, I need to go shopping!"
"Then go!" Bella snapped, frustrated and confused.
"But I can't go alone! And Rose is out hunting with Edward, Emmett, and Jasper. Please Bella?" Alice grabbed onto her human friend's arm, pouting and giving her a big puppy-dog look.
"No." Bella glared, feeling proud that she said no to Alice's puppy-dog look.
Alice's eyes tightened, and she abruptly grinned. Snatching Bella up in her arms, she ran out of the house to her yellow Porsche. Throwing Bella into the passenger seat, she quickly went to her side of the car and had it started in the next instant.
"You and I are going shopping right now and that is that." She paused, frowning slightly, then quickly hit the locks. Bella's hand dropped with a huge sigh, and she grumbled under her breath about crazy pixies with shopping addictions.
Alice laughed, happy now that the car was speeding down the highway to Seattle and the malls. "Don't worry, Bella. It'll be fun!"
Bella snorted softly, scoffing. With a roll of her eyes, she muttered, "Says you."
Edward walked into the house, eager to see Bella. When he got inside, though, the house was silent, with no tell-tale heart-beat signaling his love's presence. Frowning, he called, "Bella? Alice?" When no answer came, he began to feel panic bubbling up in his chest. "Bella!" he called, rushing up the stairs. A few minutes later he was in the living room, looking around in panic. He'd searched every room and there was no sign of anyone. Jasper came slowly and calmly inside, hands in his pockets. Edward felt like grabbing him and shaking him; how could he be so calm when Bella was gone?!
"What's wrong, Edward?" he asked in his slow, low voice.
"Bella's missing!"
Jasper laughed, and Edward glared at him, finding nothing funny about the situation. "Alice probably kidnapped her. She was dying to go shopping this morning, and the only reason I got out of it was that I needed to hunt and … well, we all know my control isn't award-winning." he ended uncomfortably.
Edward froze, blinking once. Alice? Shopping? Bella hated shopping. Edward dragged a hand over his face.
"Jasper, you wife needs help." he said, and then ran out to his Volvo, hearing Jasper's laugh the entire way. When he reached his car, Emmett suddenly pounded his fist on the passenger door window. With an annoyed groan, Edward rolled it down. "What?" he snapped.
"Jazzy said something about you going to get Bella from Alice's clutches. I'm coming." That said, he opened the door and sat down.
"Why?"
"Because something hilarious is bound to happen, and I don't want to miss it." Emmett stated calmly and matter-of-factly.
Edward growled. "Emmett…"
Emmett grinned. "Just drive, Edward. Before we miss something."
Muttering too low for his crazy brother to hear, Edward backed the car out of the garage, and then towards Seattle. There was only one mall Alice would go to if she were desperate to go shopping.
Rosalie watched them go, grinning mischievously. Taking out her cell, she quickly dialed Alice's.
"Hello, Alice? It's Rose."
"Oh, hey. Edward find out yet?"
Rose laughed. "Yeah, he just left. Emmett tagged along."
Alice was laughing. With her campire hearing, Rosalie heard Bella ask grumpily what was so funny in the background. Alice didn't answer her.
"So, Rose, want to join?"
Rosalie laughed. "Oh, do you really have to ask?"
Alice joined in the laughing. Speaking too fast for Bella to understand, she said, "Well, then, wait until you hear this. I need you to..."
Alice was pulling Bella along by the arm, holding onto it firmly. Her human sister had to bend down slightly, and was stumbling at the pace. Alice was on a mission, and nothing else mattered.
"Alice, please? I don't want to shop!" Bella said again, for the hundredth time.
Alice continued to ignore her. "No. I want to shop, and we're meeting Rosalie at her favorite clothing store." Alice was pratically marching through the crowd, earning a couple of amused and 'OOOk, well, glad she's not with me' looks.
Bella groaned again, letting her head fall back. If Rosalie was also going to be there, then she was doomed.
"Wait! If you're meeting Rose, then you don't need me!" Bella brightened at the idea. "So when we find her you can just-"
"No, sorry, Bella. You're coming too."
Bella's shoulders slumped, and she sighed, knowing how pointless it was to argue with Alice about shopping.
"I'm doomed," she muttered.
Alice sent a glare over her shoulder. "Oh, stop exaggerrating, Bella. You are not 'doomed'." She stopped as they reached the front of an expensive clothing store. "You're going to have fun. I promise." At Bella's continued doubtful look, Alice sighed in exasperation and added, "I saw it, ok? You do have fun."
Rosalie came out of the store, holding a bag.
"Did you get it?" Alice asked excitedly.
Grinning, Rosalie said, "Yep. It's all in here." She hefted the bag.
"Great. Now all we have to do is wait for the boys..."
"Emmett, stop messing with my stereo!" Edward snapped. His big bear of a brother had the oddest tastes in music... and it was driving him crazy.
Emmett glanced up at him. "Why? This is a good song." Britney Spears "Oops I did it again" blared from the speakers. (sorry to anyone who likes her, but everyone I know hates her, and when I say hate, I mean passionately hate.)
Edward closed his eyes, trying to find any patience left in him...
Nope; there was none.
"If you don't leave my stereo alone, I will make sure that everyone knows your secret!"
Emmett's gold eyes widened in horror. "No. You wouldn't."
Edward gave him a look that said "do you really believe that?"
Emmett's eyes widened even more and he looked out the front windshield. "He would." he answered himself.
They finally arrived -without anymore stereo tampering - at the mall.
Edward got out of the car, and then froze, mouth falling open with disbelief. Rosalie's red BMW was parked not four spaces away from his, about two away from Alice's porsche.
Seeing his wife's car, Emmett said, "Hey, look! Rose is here too!"
Mutteringunder his breath about how his sisters insisted on torturing his poor Bella, Edward stormed into the mall only to stop short.
"Uh, hey, Edward? Where are we going to look first? This place is ginormous!" Emmett looked around.
Though he wouldn't admit it, Edward hadn't thought about that part. "Uhm..." He looked around frantically. "We'll check the... food court!" He smiled proudly. "Bella's probably hungry by now." Of course, they both forgot about the little fact that they had no clue which way to go.
Bella was, in fact, at the food court, eating something called orange chicken from a chinese food place. (I had some of that... it's really good.) But she was definately not happy.
Rosalie and Alice had dragged her through the whole mall - or so it felt like to Bella - and forced her into multiple outfits, scrunchingup their faces in thought, then shaking their heads until they found an outfit they liked. Much to Bella's annoyance, they barely grabbed anything for themselves.
"Oh, come on Bells. Cheer up!" Rosalie said, again.
"Yeah," Alice added. "We haven't gotten to the fun part yet!"
Bella glared at both of them, then returned to her food. She hadn't said a word in nearly an hour.
Suddenly, someone called her name across the court. She glanced up and felt her eyes widen. Turning around quickly, she glared at the two vampires, who were grinning with evil mirth.
"I'm going to get you two for this." she threatened, just as Mike and Tyler sat on either side of her. They were looking her over appreciatively. Alice and Rose ahd forced her into one of the more revealing outfits. The shirt showed off her midriff, and rather a lot of cleavage, and was off the shoulders; the pants hung low and hugged her hips. They'd even fored her to put on a different bra, and the black lace at the top showed slightly at her shirt. Every time she'd tried to pull the shirt up to cover the hintings of lace, Rose had brought it back to it's previous position.
"So, Bella, what are you doing here?" Tyler asked, his eyes seemingly super-glued to her chest.
Bella glared. "Eating, what's it look like?" She immediately felt slightly bad for how snappish her tone was, but was too annoyed and just brushed it off. He deserved it for how rude he was being.
"Oh, well, why don't you hang out with us some? We haven't seen you in practically forever." Mike said, frowning slightly at the end.
"Yeah, I've been a little busy planning the wedding." Bella said pointedly. Everyone in Forks knew about it; so why were these two still so obviously chasing after her?
Suddenly, there was an angry growl from behind them. Alice's and Rose's eyes widened slightly, but Bella felt relief course through her. Turning, she smiled in relief. "Edward."
He was glaring at the two boys next to her, who both rose quickly, mumbling good byes, and left in a hurry. Edward sat down next to his soon-to-be wife, while Emmett plopped down next to Rosalie.
"Gosh, how do you girls not get lost in this place? It took us nearly an hour to find you here!" Emmett looked almost admiringly at them.
"Well, that's because girls are generally better with directions." Alice said matter-of-factly. She grinned at Edward. "Do you like Bella's outfit, Edward?" she asked slyly.
Bella's face was red, as Edward had been taking her in the whole time.
"Yes," he mumbled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Bella's throat, and moving his mouth down to her revealed shoulder. "Why did you feel the need to dress her up?" he took a moment to add, before returning to pressing his lips to her neck again.
Alice and Rosalie grinned. "Well, you two have been so worried about the wedding and stuf that we thought we'd give you a night off." Rosalie said.
"So, we stole away Bella and dressed her up, then got you tickets to a concert tonight here in Seattle." Alice smiled. "Are you surprised?"
Bella was blinking, shocked. "Yes. Thank you guys." She suddenly felt slightly ashamed of how she'd been treating them over the shopping trip.
Emmett suddenly started humming, and Edward turned his face to him and growled. "Emmett... I am really tired of those songs of your's."
Rosalie was looking at her husband with something close to horror and disgust. "Is... is he humming 'Hit me Baby one more time'?"
Edward stood up, and left the table. Everyone stared after him, confused, surprised, and -in Bella's case - a little stung. He returned in about five minutes, carrying a red, unmarked bag. Calmly, he returned to sitting next to Bella, pulling her into his lap, and set the bag on the table. Everyone continued to stare at him, then the bag, then back, but Edward just returned to kissing Bella like nothing had happened.
Two minutes later, there was a faint ding, then the muffled words drifted from the bag.
"I love you,
You love me
We're a happy
Fam-il-y..."
"NO!" Emmett shouted, bursting to his feet and knocking over the table in the process; Edward pulled Bella away calmly.
From the red bag fell a rather large stuffed Barney, with a clock in his stomach.
"And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?"
"Nonononono!" Emmett shouted. People stared in confusion and slight fear as the huge vampire ran out of the food court, holding his hands to his ears, screaming "No!" over and over again. Edward calmly set Bella on her feet, stepped over to the toy, and pressed a button, turning it off. He placed it back in the bag ,and straighted.
"Next time he should listen to me." he said with a smile. "I'll keep this... maybe it could be used on April Fool's day or something... Or just as a threat." He shrugged.
The three girls stared at him for a long moment, then burst out laughing.
"God," Bella gasped, wiping her eyes. "I don't think eternity will ever be boring."