Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Warning: This is rated M for reasons that will become clear as the story progresses. If you read the summary, then you realize that there is going to be some boy on boy action. Not now, but eventually. You have been warned.

A/N: So you know, though you'll probably be able to figure this out once you read it, this story begins when L and Light are chained together, and Light doesn't have his memories and all that.

Also, this is sort of a songfic, but sort of not. The title is taken from an amazing song of the same name by an amazing band called Flowing Tears, which basically inspired me to write this. All the chapter titles are lines from the song. So, I guess I should put another disclaimer in here saying that I don't own the song, which I don't. So, there it is.

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Thy Kingdom Gone
Chapter 1: The Souls Impure And Sane

There was nothing but darkness and silence.

The sound of his own breathing had faded away into an obscure white noise, its even cadence falling deafly upon his ears. The soft breathing of the man lying next to him had vanished from his hearing as well, the relaxed tempo of his respiration not able to break through the lock that had been placed on his consciousness and reach him. His brown eyes were open, staring blindly at the ceiling. It was at times like this that Light Yagami could never sleep.

And it wasn't for lack of trying. He would close his eyes, attempt to clear his mind, let everything he'd been thinking about just fall away from him, only to have his eyelids snap open when one stray, vague thought would break through his drifting consciousness and scream at him. That one nameless, unpronounceable notion that lurked in the back of his mind would bark at him, haunt him in the deep hours of the night. It irritated him that he couldn't place it, couldn't give it a name. It was only there, ever present, gnawing at him in the moments when other thoughts would drift away, leaving room for everything to center on that one unrecognizable feeling.

Like always, the bed was comfortable. The sheets were soft. His body was as rigid as a board, both hands fisted by his sides. The cuff on his wrist was digging into his skin, the cold metal pressing harshly into the sensitive flesh. It was the only tactile sensation he could perceive in his muddled state of sleepless unawareness.

If only he could pinpoint when this had started, when this seed had been planted. He had an inkling, though, a disturbing, crooked little inkling. One night, he had inexplicably awoken from sleep at some godless hour and turned over, his body trying to find a comfortable position so he could try to fall asleep again. Coming to rest on his side, the chain keeping his movements limited, he saw his companion lying next to him. Usually, L brought a laptop to their bed and would continue to work diligently until Light fell asleep, and, as he suspected, long afterwards as well. In his typical hunched pose, he would clack away at the keys, searching for anything and everything that could help with the investigation. But on this night, the laptop was not there. L's eyes were closed. He was curled up, almost in the fetal position, his thumb hanging at the corner of his mouth like a child. A few inches away from his own, L's face was relaxed, a strange appearance of innocence covering his normally expressionless visage. He was sleeping. It was a sight he'd never seen before, and it struck him right through to his core.

His first thought upon seeing L's sleeping face was how incredibly young he looked, how the darkness surrounding them seemed to wash away those black circles under his eyes, and most of all, how he appeared almost agreeable in repose. His second thought was centered on the current state of defenselessness of the man who continued to pursue him for a horrendous crime he didn't commit. Something inside of him itched to reach out to him and wrap his hands around that pale throat and squeeze until the man known as L was no more. Something inside of him he couldn't quite place was burning with excitement at this opportunity, his hands twitching at his sides as he continued to stare. After a few moments, he came back to himself, almost violently jerking out of the strange daze he'd entered. A wave of nausea hit him and he rolled over, facing away from his bedmate, his mind unable to recover from the strange thoughts that had entered it. He spent the rest of the night in futility, trying desperately to fall asleep and forget what he'd seen.

Since that occurrence, the number of sleepless nights Light Yagami experienced only increased. Whenever L would bring the laptop to bed and continue to work late into the night, he'd be able to sleep, the sound of his companion's fingers on the keyboard almost acting as a lullaby, the constant clacking noise soothing him and giving his mind something to focus on until unconsciousness took hold. But other nights, there was another noise, a faint click which signaled that L had closed his computer. This click was always followed by the rustling of sheets and a soft creaking of the bed frame. And then there was nothing but silence. A silence which ate at him. A silence which caused Light's mind to wander into unknown and dangerous territory.

Every time this happened, he tried to stop himself. He tried so hard. But he always looked. Turning onto his side, he'd open his eyes slowly, his eyelids feeling as heavy as if they were made of iron, and would look at the man beside him. Scrutinizing every inch of L's face, Light knew that he hated him. Of that, he was sure. But there was something else lurking behind that hate that was flickering inside of him, making itself known in the deep hours of the night. It was something unrecognizable and unfathomable. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wrap his mind around it, couldn't define these thoughts racing through his head. All he could do was continue to let them assault his mind while he stared at L, the pains of insomnia beginning to take hold of his body.

During the day, it was easier. He could keep himself occupied with the seemingly never-ending Kira case. He had to deal with his father and Matsuda and the rest of the task force. And, of course, at least ten times throughout the day Misa would demand his attention, whether it be for a few seconds or a few hours, and he'd do his best to give it to her. Anything to avoid focusing wholly on L. During the day, the pale man became just another person in headquarters who, by chance, happened to be chained to him and who would make random interjections throughout their ongoing investigation. Random interjections that, when dissected, seemed to point to the fact that L still believed that Light was Kira, and that that was nothing but the unequivocal truth.

Every word that passed through those thin lips aggravated him, added to the pent-up aggression that was building inside of him. He'd always respond, though, with his own calculated reply, saying what he needed to say to get the other to leave him alone. But it never lasted. L would always come back with something. Over and over, he'd test him with disguised words, little investigative conversations to try and lure out Kira. He didn't know what the strange man had done to make him feel this way, but he knew it had to be some part of L's plan to bring him to this state of confusion, this state of utter disturbance. And he hated him for it. He absolutely hated him for it.

"Hey, Light, are you not sleeping well or something? You almost look like Ryuuzaki," Matsuda had asked one day, his boyish voice and ridiculously genuine smile only serving to annoy him further.

Turning in his chair to face him, Light replied in a pinched, yet amiable tone, "Thank you for your concern, but I'm sleeping fine." He returned to his computer screen, hands moving swiftly across the keyboard. "And I doubt I look anything like Ryuuzaki," he added over his shoulder, watching Matsuda's expression change before looking forward again.

"Ah ha ha, I guess you're right about that," the young detective laughed sheepishly.

Light rolled his eyes as he continued to work, wondering how Matsuda had been accepted into the police force in the first place. He froze when he heard the wheels of a swivel chair rolling towards him and looked up to see L, his black eyes focused on him as he scooted closer.

"Light-kun is having trouble sleeping?" L asked quietly in his familiar monotone, his thumb moving to his lips when he'd finished speaking.

"It's nothing, Ryuuzaki. I'm fine," Light assured him, gaze quickly returning to his computer. He didn't want to look at him. It was even worse when those depthless black orbs were open and staring, even worse when there was a pair of eyes looking back.

"Ah." L nodded and stared at him blankly for a moment, before pushing himself back to his own work area.

Light let out a quiet, shaky breath once the other had left him, and tried to ease the constriction in his throat that had appeared during their short conversation. He could feel something snapping inside of him, could feel his precious and carefully practiced self-control slipping. Being near L, looking at him, made him feel physically ill. It made him feel queasy. It made him feel not like himself.

Later that night, as the two of them laid in bed, Light heard it - that detestable click echoing through their room. He heard the soft rustling of sheets as L laid down. Then he heard nothing. Just the knowledge that L was curled up next to him, sleeping with his thumb still stuck at his mouth like an infant, kept him up for hours. Just that knowledge sent those strange, undefinable thoughts flying through his head.

As the hours of the night wore on, that urge to look at his companion presented itself, like it always did. It became harder and harder to ignore that urge once he was positive the other was asleep. Laying on his back, he took a deep breath, holding the air in his lungs for a moment before letting it gush out, along with his resolve to keep his eyes off of his bedmate. Slowly and gingerly, he turned onto his side, nestling his face into his pillow and opened his eyes. He stared forward blindly, his eyes not able to pick any shapes out of the darkness just yet. As his sight became accustomed to the absence of light in their room, L's face materialized in front of him, his pale skin standing out against the blackness surrounding them. He was so close. Closer than usual. Light sucked in a breath, startled by this unexpected proximity.

L always fell asleep on his side, facing the center of the bed, and, thereby, facing towards him. Always. It was just a random fact, but he sometimes felt as though his sanity hinged upon it. Or, perhaps, it was the fact that caused his sanity to come unhinged. Either way, it just was, and he never questioned it.

As he continued to stare, going over every detail of L's face, he noticed a strange change in the other man's expression. It was nothing overt, but noticeable to him, nonetheless; a small variance he couldn't clearly describe in the other's countenance. Something was off. L was... awake.

Almost the moment that thought occurred to him and his body tensed up in surprise and panic, the man lying next to him opened his black eyes, his gaze focusing immediately on the stricken boy. Light froze, his breath catching in his throat. L blinked at him, turning his head slightly against his pillow, his black hair falling messily across his face. For a short while they stared at each other silently, the tension in Light's body growing with every second that passed by. He couldn't look away. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't.

"So..." L's toneless voice broke the silence, "It is true that Light-kun is having trouble sleeping?"

He couldn't respond. His throat had closed up the second those depthless eyes had opened.

"I suppose it makes sense. There are many reasons why you shouldn't be able to sleep."

No. There was one reason. One reason. That reason was still incomprehensible to him, but he knew it was there, and solitary, and nothing to do with the suspicion that he was a mass murderer. The fact that he was being investigated by the world's greatest detective under the theory that he was Kira had never once caused him to lose sleep.

L was staring at him expectantly, like he was waiting for an answer, but he couldn't put the words together. He could barely put his thoughts together. L sighed, letting his eyes wander to the ceiling while Light remained silent.

"Well. Since this case has been solved, I'm going to sleep now. Good night, Light-kun."

Light started at those words, finally able to find his voice. "The case has been solved?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows rising in disbelief. "What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?"

L lowered his gaze to him again, staring for a moment before speaking. "The case of whether Light Yagami is sleeping or not," he stated in a tone that implied he should've figured that out on his own, bringing his thumb to his mouth and taking his fingernail between his teeth. The pale man spared him one more glance, before closing his eyes, effectively shutting down their conversation. It was only then that Light noticed how hard his heart had been beating, the overactive organ in his chest pumping his blood through him almost violently fast. Turning onto his back, he waited for himself to calm down and listened until the other's breathing became slow and even. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling so incredibly tired, the effects of his sporadic insomnia finally taking their toll. With his mind still raging, Light Yagami fell asleep. For the first time, the both of them slept side by side, the chain that kept them bound together lying coiled between them.

The next day, Light was a wreck. He'd slept, and soundly, but the memory of his dreams had left him completely unsettled the moment he woke up. The images his mind had shown him during slumber caused him to feel even worse than he had when he wasn't able to sleep. Those haunting thoughts he couldn't place had been given picture and sound in his dreams, everything that he'd been unable to understand had been illustrated perfectly for him. He sat slumped in his chair, his head in his hands while Matsuda made idiotic inquiries as to how he was feeling. His mind was reeling with what he'd seen.

In his dreams, he'd fucked L and then killed him, strangled him with his own two hands. He'd squeezed that pale throat, felt his fingernails digging into his victim's flesh, drawing blood, and watched him die while he was still inside of him.

He sat there, trying to will those images out of his head, but they were burned there, permanently stuck in the forefront of his mind. He couldn't believe the things he'd dreamed, couldn't accept those utterly malicious and, at the same time, lascivious thoughts.

Raising his head out of his hands, he stared at his computer screen listlessly for a few moments, his brown eyes scanning the information in front of him, before setting to work again. He'd just keep himself busy. After all... it was only a dream... Only a dream.

A few minutes passed by in relative peace, each member of the task force busy with their respective tasks. Catching a glimpse of some unknown motion out of the corner of his eye, Light turned his gaze to the side, only to see L sitting there beside him. The detective was perched on the edge of his chair, one hand on his knee, the other at his mouth where he was lightly chewing on the tip of his thumb. The chain was resting on the floor, its small metal links coiled limply in the short distance between where they were sitting. All Light could see were those wide, black eyes staring directly at him, their hollow depths seeming to convey an unusual intensity and fervor in their constant probing. Under that penetrating yet empty gaze, he could feel something contracting and something swelling within him all at once.

The Souls Impure And Sane - FIN

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Thanks for reading! I hope some of you guys out there liked it. I'm more of a "one-shot" writer, and the one other multi-chapter fic I've written kind of just exploded out of my control and became a monster. But. When I was listening to this song, the idea just hit me... and it was a big idea, so there was no way it could be a one-shot. Hopefully I can pull this off. The next chapter won't be so boring, I hope...

Anyway. Review? Reviews make me unbelievably happy, whether they're good or bad. Like, really, you have no idea how happy they make me. And, when I'm happy, I tend to write more, if you get what I'm saying. So, let me know what you think, okay? Please and thank you. ^_^