"How I am the right person to help you with this?"
As they walk through the doors of Shulman's building, out into the late-afternoon winter sunshine, Danny takes the giant shopping bag from her hand and Mindy hooks her arm easily through his.
"Because Danny, I have less than three hours to get ready for this date and there's no time to consult Gwen - stupid Greenwich - and Alex is out of town. And Maggie is, well, kind of a disaster at the moment and I love her but I don't trust her judgment, so she's no help."
"So I'm the next best option?"
"Um," she hesitates as they take the steps down to the subway platform. "Surprisingly, yes. You are."
"As what, like a Hail Mary?"
"I guess? Is that a football reference? Or a Catholic thing? I'm never sure."
"Uh, both, actually." The car is full and they sway, lightly grasping the metal pole as the train starts to move. "You look good. What's wrong with this?" He points down at the brightly printed dress peeking out from a gap in her coat.
"You don't go on a first date - with a really hot guy, might I add - in business attire." Danny raises his eyebrows at 'business attire', but it doesn't slow Mindy down. "I need to look hot. Bangable hot, and a little aloof too, which is not an easy thing to get right."
"And you expect me to know how to help you with that?"
"Ha! God no! You're just going to be there for moral support and to make sure I don't leave my apartment looking super slutty or with panties accidentally clinging to my dress. Basically you're going to be the Charlotte to my Carrie."
"I don't know what that means."
"Liar."
Danny turns, glancing behind them, hoping Mindy doesn't catch his smile.
Mindy takes the emblazoned Big Brown Bag from him and disappears into her closet, and Danny pulls the tequila out of the cupboard. He smiles as he pours them both a shot, the muffled sound of hangers rattling and her muttering to herself familiar, like this is some strange ritual they do. And, crap, it kind of is. How many times has he been here helping her dress for another man?
Danny throws his shot back and pours another just as she steps into the hallway. "Okay. What do you think about this one?" It's shiny and black and kinda low-cut and really tight. In all the right places tight, not unflattering tight.
"That's good." He swallows, his mouth feeling oddly dry. "Maybe a little slutty."
"Really?" Mindy looks nonplussed.
"Not like bad slutty. Just - didn't you say you wanted to look aloof?"
She smooths the shimmery fabric over her hips and tilts her head, nodding in his direction. "Yeah. You're right. This is more like a third date dress." She grins. "This thing is going to look great coming off me."
It will. That dress will look amazing coming off her. Mindy sashays back into her closet and Danny notices he's gripping the tequila bottle so hard it might break. He wishes he could create a work emergency and get outta here. That's the bad thing about being friends with a colleague - they always know if you're lying about a work emergency.
"Danny," she calls through the wall.
"Yeah."
"Will you go in my bathroom and plug in my curlers?"
You can plug in curlers? Danny takes a long swig straight out of the bottle before setting it on the counter and going to her bathroom. "Uhhh. What do they look like?"
"Like curlers. It's a plastic box with round things in it and a power cord."
"Um..." There are a lot of weird looking devices cluttering her bathroom.
"Jeez, Danny." She eases past him, a different dress pulled up only as far as her waist, her pink bra with tiny blue polka-dots showing, and plugs in, seemingly at random, one of the dozen cords. "It's like you've never lived with a woman. Here." Mindy turns her back to him, slipping the deep-burgundy sleeves up her arms. "Zip me up."
He does, zipping her up then hooking the clasp at her neck. It's an accident when his thumb brushes the bare skin of her back along the keyhole cutout between her shoulder blades. "There." His voice sounds embarrassingly husky in his ears. Mindy doesn't seem to notice.
"Thanks." She walks back to look at her reflection in the full-length mirror. "How about this one?"
He follows and tries to be good at this for her, to be the right amount of critical, thoughtful. "It's nice. The color looks good on you."
"Thank you, Danny." Her reflection is smiling at him.
"But it's not right."
Mindy's face falls. "Why not?"
He shrugs. "You're too covered up. You look great, but it's what you wear to a christening, not on a date. Not if you want to make it to him taking that black dress off you in two more dates, anyway."
She's staring thoughtfully down at the dress, swishing enough to make the skirt move. "That sounds like surprisingly accurate fashion advice, Danny. You may be better at this than I gave you credit for. Okay. Next."
He shuffles back to the kitchen while she changes, putting the cap on the tequila. Three shots is probably all the alcohol he needs right now.
Danny picks up both tiny glasses and hands hers to her when Mindy comes in. They clink glasses and throw them back before he even looks down to see what she's wearing.
This is the one. It's dark blue and has big - what are those? - rhinestones or something on the top and some silver pieces, too. It fits her like she had it tailored and is somehow both sexy and demure. She looks devastating. He hates it.
"No. That is the worst. You gotta - just - anything but that. I take back what I said. The christening dress is the way to go."
"I don't know. This feels like the dress." He's shaking his head violently and confidence in her choice appears to be waning. "Does the butt look weird or something?"
She turns and runs a hand down her ass, her very nice, perfectly round ass. "Yes. It makes your butt look weird. And all that big, chunky, fake-jewel stuff - it looks cheap."
"Cheap? This is a six hundred dollar dress!"
"Six hundr- Really?" It's worth every penny. "Just. Go to the next one."
"This is it. I only bought three."
"Well, at six hundred a pop I can see that."
"What am I going to do?! I've got to be at the restaurant in an hour! Danny! Help me!"
"Wear something you already have."
Mindy scowls at him and uncaps the bottle, pouring them another drink. "How am I supposed to have any perspective on what used clothes to wear?"
"They're not used; they're your clothes."
"Eh." She shrugs and throws back the shot.
"That pink dress. That one's nice." He wiggles his fingers at his collar. "With the sparkly things that don't look like toys, and the belt."
"It's not really a winter-weather dress, but I guess I could wear a slip with it."
"Yeah." Extra layers.
"Alright, let's try this again," she sighs, some of the excitement Mindy always seems to be in excess supply of dimming. He did that to her.
Danny paces the length of the kitchen. He is an asshole. What kind of prick tells his friend her butt looks weird in hopes of - what? - ruining her date with some random guy? It doesn't even make sense. She's going to look amazing no matter what she wears. And even if things don't go well tonight it doesn't change anything. Does it?
"Ya know, Min. I think maybe I was wrong. That last one was fine. Your butt didn't look weird. You should wear that one."
She stocks through the doorway, her feet hitting the hardwood with a slap. "Are you mental? You just said you hated it."
"Nah, I didn't hate it. You looked beautiful. Whatever. I just didn't know if it was right for tonight. For this guy." He shrugs, the words sounding like a lot more than what he meant to say.
"God, Danny. You have officially lost it. I know you have some weird, stalkery crush on me and can't be objective or whatever, but keep it together long enough to help me out here."
"Okay, yeah, fine. I have a crush on you. Sure. Whatever. And I am sick of this endless parade of losers you see. Not one of them is good enough for you. Hell, I'm not good enough for you, but at least I'd make an effort."
Mindy stands in her hallway silently, nothing on but a slip, the edges of her underwear colorful and illusive through the sheer fabric. The pink dress he likes so much because the way it makes her skin luminous is clutched tightly in her hand. "Are you - I was kidding. About the crush thing. Do you have -" she wiggles a hand in between them, verbalizing the question apparently too much for her.
Danny can't quite decide what to do here. It was stupid answering her dumb provocation seriously (it's not like she doesn't insist he's obsessed with her on a weekly basis), the wide and innocent look in her eyes making him want to back-peddle furiously. Then there's the way she's standing two feet away from him, wearing nothing but some silk and lace Danny would very much enjoy taking off her. And those two battling factions leave him speechless.
Mindy looks down, probably following his gaze, and realizes she is only halfway clothed and blushes. She doesn't walk away, though. "Okay, Danny, say something. This is starting to get weird."
"No. I don't have a crush on you."
Mindy sighs, her shoulders deflating like it's a relief, but Danny thinks he might see a little disappointment there too, the way she stops looking him in the eye. He hopes there's a little disappointment, because if not it makes the next thing he's about to do really embarrassing.
"This isn't a crush. We're not twelve. It's - I don't know - feelings. I think about you. A lot. I miss you when I don't see you, and not like I miss seeing a buddy. I wonder what you're doing when we're not together, and I hate it when I see you wasting your time with some jerk. I hate it even more when I see you with someone who's not a complete jerk because then I'm afraid that's it - this might be the guy you pick."
Mindy is silent, not in an entirely discouraging way, and it gives him motivation to continue. Danny takes a small step closer towards her and lowers his voice, as if there was someone in her apartment to overhear. "I am attracted to you. And I think there's something between us. There have been moments, this pull towards each other, at least a few times before. You had to have felt it too, right? That wasn't just me imaging it?"
She visibly swallows and shakes her head. "No. It wasn't just you."
Her breath is coming quicker and, oh, maybe he shouldn't have taken that step closer. Now he's close enough to reach out and touch the thin material at her waist; and he does, the heat from her skin bleeding through. Danny is close enough to see, with her barefooted, he'll have to bend slightly to kiss her.
"Danny -"
He doesn't know what she is going to say, the words getting trapped somewhere between their mouths. She tastes like toothpaste and tequila.
The pink dress rustles to the floor and she pulls on his shoulder, dragging him closer, no hesitating or pushing him away. Mindy wraps an arm around his waist and shoves a hand in his hair, and she is there, completely with him, eager, and it dissolves his self-control.
Mindy gasps when her bare back hits the wall, and it makes him want to hear it again - her breathless and gasping for another reason.
Her fingers are pulling tightly in his hair, the feeling sharp and encouraging, while his lips explore the intricacies of her neck and collarbone (turns out they are equally glorious). His hands wander down her hips, and he's about to either suggest the six steps to her bed or just make the wall work, when he remembers.
"Call and cancel your date."
"Hmm?" Mindy's eyes are glassy, lips smudged, and it is pleasing to know he's why.
"Call him. Let him know you're not coming. Let him down easy."
She looks genuinely surprised. And, okay, maybe it is a ridiculous thing to insist right now, with his thigh pressed between her legs and her hand in the waistband of his pants, but it seems like the right thing to do. That poor sap just lost his opportunity with the most magnificent woman he'll probably ever meet; seems like an especially mean thing to leave him waiting at the restaurant too.
Mindy staggers away from him into her closet where she left her cell phone. Her hair is flat in the back and kinda wild all over and, god, he wants her so very much.
Danny can't help follow her, the contrast of silky, pastel straps against the skin of her back impossible for his mouth to resist. Mindy sighs when he touches her, her head falling forward, and just before the call is connected Danny whispers in her ear, "Not too easy. Make sure he understands he's missed his chance."