A/N: so this is my first shizaya fic, well songfic actually. I tried to connect my story with this song, its from Secondhand Serenade - goodbye. I really like this songs. You can feel the despair when you heard it.

Anyway enjoy it, and please be nice with me..

Goodbye

Its a shame

That it had to be this way

Its been years since I've started this relationship with Shizu-chan. There's nothing wrong with us, that's what I though will last forever. But as time flows by, I feel something important that Shizu-chan hides from me. Well, perhaps just my imagination.

Its not enough to say I'm sorry

Its not enough to say I'm sorry

He repeat it again and again. I don't even know why he apologizing to me, neither did I know what's his fault. But Shizu-chan being a bit different from he used to be. Everytime I told him that its alright, I already forgive him. He'll make this weird expression, between guilt and sadness

Maybe I'm to blame

Or maybe we're the same

He can blame me at this weird feeling I felt, similiar to insecurity. God! Its my fault in the first place that we felt an awkward feeling when we were so close. But, I don't know why. I got this feeling that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't feel the same..

But either way I can't breath

Either way I can't breath

The feeling of someone choking your throat hardly it make you hard to breath. That's what I felt everytime he would just sits besides meand that's it. Even though he's so close. I feel that he's so far away

I had to say goodbye

We'd better off this way

We'd better off this way

He told me that he want a little talk, that's explain why we re standing jn the middle of my living room right now. "Sorry Izaya, I don't think it worked out" he said, with a bit uncertainty on his voice. I've know all along, its must be it. I just tried to look innocent by saying "what do you mean, Shizu-chan?"

But he doesn't seem to noticed my faked smile, he wore this serious expression. It doesn't suit him at all, he's not the Shizu-chan I know. What's wrong Shizu-chan? Why are you-

"Its over, we're over, goodbye" that words, that five words, that just make me realized that the world around me has collapsed. I just give him a small smile, a forced smile, as he turn around and walk away without even waiting for my response

I'm alive

But I'm losing all my drive

I'd still alive after that, yeaah, I'm still alive. Physically, but I'm not really sure about mentally. I am losing my mind without him

And everything we've been through

Everything about you

Ne Shizu-chan, have you forgot everything about us? The time we've spend together? Those precious times? Tell me, Shizu-chan. Do you treasuring it like I do 'till now?

Since you be a lie

I can't live twisted lie

Reality is a lie. Shizu-chan leaves is a lie. I'll wake up from this nightmare and found Shizu-chan lying besides me. Sleeping soundly. Yeah, I like that...

Then maybe learn to hate you

Or hate myself for letting it pass by

I've hated Shizu-chan for making me human, for making me falling for me, for letting him broke me like this, for making me look pathetic. But even how many times I hate Shizu-chan, I can't seems to denied the fact that the feeling I felt when we were so close. The feeling of... Love

I should probably hate myself, its my own fault for letting him come inside my life, for falling for him..

I had to say goodbye

We'd better off this way

We'd better off this way

The memory of him, saying his one last goodbye to me, still lingering inside my head. "Its for the best" he said back then. What the best about feeling your only source of light, being trash away from you.. Tell me, Shizu-chan..

And every, everything isn't only

What it seems so hold this

You always told me to look for you if I'd ever need a place to go, someone to hear me, someone to be count on. But yet, you just walk away like that. Never really told me about your feeling towards me, towards us

Word that you never told me

Its time to say goodbye

I've always knew all along about this blond girl you visits a lot. I've always knew all along that you love her. From the way you smile at her, the way you look at her. But I's never speak a word about it. And when you leave me, I've always knew. That its because of her

Its time to say goodbye

Shizu-chan, if this is really what you want, what making you happy. Then I don't have anything against it. Your happiness is also my happiness, even when it feels like dying. No, dying isn't feel this hurt.. Its hurt Shizu-chan..

Goodbye

"Goodbye..."

And that, will be the last moment you ever heard of me, Shizu-chan. The last moment every humans will see Izaya Orihara. Because I've already dead, Shizu-chan... I've loved you and always be..

-OWARI

A/N so... Rewiews? And I'm sorry for any broken grammar and OOC-ness, and typo(es)