"The date is June 27th, 1941, this is Dr. Harleen Francis Quinzel interviewing The Joker at Gotham Asylum, and we are in room number 17 on the third floor." I clicked my pen and dated a new sheet of paper. "Okay, Mr. Joker, do you have any updates to tell me since our last visit?" Joker smiled at me with that crazy wonderful smile of his.
"Nothing too extravagant to detail this week, Harley." He kicked his feet up along the wall like he normally does, "Though I don't like the new guard on 3rd shift." He snickered. "He doesn't laugh at my jokes like the old guard did."
Doesn't like new guard working third shift. "He laughed because you threatened to kill his family, Joker." Talk to Batman about switching guards. Find a way to convince him, Harleen. I pressed the button on the recording machine. "Tell me the threats, Mistah J? Tell me how he reacted when you told him you were gonna hunt his family down and skin them alive?" I leaned toward his bed, smiling, waiting for an exciting answer.
"For a moment I thought I'd lost you, my dearest Harley." His hands reached for my throat, his normal greeting. I knew how to not flinch, Mr. J liked that.
"You'd never lose me, Puddin'" Once his hands lowered our lips met in a fanatic moment, knowing we wouldn't have much time. "Mr. J, we have to get the recording done." I broke our kiss and handed him a new piece of paper. "Just like I told you," I switched the machine back on.
"Joker, tell me why you escaped Gotham." This is so boring, this is our tenth meeting here in Gotham, not a darned thing new every week.
"Because I thought that I had plants chasing me." His smirk told me otherwise.
I wonder what's for dinner tonight… "You and I both know Poison Ivy isn't a real being, Joker. She's only a figment of your imagination."
"But the plants!" He motioned melodramatically with his hands, "They were coming for my head!"
"That ends today's session. Okay, Mr. Baker, seems my thesis was wrong. Mr. Joker has been correctly diagnosed as a Psychopath. That will end our sessions, Joker. Have a safe stay at our generous city's arkham asylum." A click and the machine was off. With a wink and a click of my pen, I was off to the Security wing to free my lover at last.