Author: Floor
He loved Gunmax.
It was something Deckerd was sure of now. He had never much considered his feelings until Gunmax had confessed his own, but looking back, the Brave Detective could recall the first moment it had happened. The first time he had felt something more for the biker brave.
"Let's join him."
"Gunmax..."
Everyone knew that Yuuta Tomonaga meant a lot to Deckerd. And so it should come as no surprise that Deckerd held Yuuta's opinion in high regard. After the hourglass incident... Well, it was safe to say that Gunmax had worked his way into the boy's heart and... Deckerd's too.
The patrol car lifted an arm from the cool concrete beneath him and traced his hand over the span of his partner's resting chest. He felt the gentle reverberation of an idling engine beneath the warm metal and offlined his optics. Gunmax felt alive.
Deckerd's touch shifted and his optics brightened again when his hand came to rest against the side of the Motorcycle Detective's face. Gunmax's calm sleeping expression tightened a fraction under the gentle pressure but soon relaxed with a slight curve of the lips. Deckerd smiled, brushing a thumb against the biker's cheek.
He was happy with Gunmax. He was...
Deckerd's expression faltered. He picked up his hand and returned the limb to the floor beside him. He turned his head away from Gunmax and rested it back against the concrete, unable to bring himself to face him.
He had not been entirely honest with Gunmax. He often confessed his feelings for him and it was always true, but Deckerd had kept something else from him. Something important. Something Gunmax, as his partner, should know about him.
He loved Shadowmaru.
And it had not been until after Gunmax had confessed his feelings for Deckerd, after the patrol car confessed that he returned them that... Deckerd slowly came to realise he already felt this way about someone else.
Love like this... it wasn't something he expected to be able to experience. It was human, a privilege, but there were times it felt more like a curse. Every moment with Gunmax after that had felt tainted with his own disloyalty. How could he think of another when he was with Gunmax? How could Gunmax trust him when Deckerd couldn't even trust his own desires?
Shadowmaru...
Shadowmaru was kind, friendly and had a playful spirit that Deckerd admired. He was never dull to be around and he had always been there to support Deckerd. To offer wise words of advice with a bright smile, even when it seemed like nothing could eliminate the dark the patrol car had worked himself into.
Shadowmaru was a good person, the best kind. Deckerd did not deserve him, as a friend or otherwise. And Deckerd certainly did not deserve Gunmax, especially after all this deceit...
People looked up to the Brave Detective. Leader of the braves and the first sentient robotic being.
Deckerd stared across at the roughly plastered wall, fingers scratching the hard concrete as they balled into fists. He let out a quiet sob.
He was letting everyone down.