Zelda Hyrule Warriors fanfiction meant for entertainment, or light comedy but nothing else. All characters and settings belong to Nintendo.
Minor spoilers (very minor, hardly even spoilers)- read at your own risk
Enjoy! ;)
1.
[Ganondorf's POV]
Ahhh the warm desert air is enough to lift my spirits. The hot sun, sand and oasis are a perfect paradise. The Gerudo desert is where I was born, so it always had that sort of welcoming feel to it. There was nothing more relaxing on a stressful day than coming back to these places. Today had definitely been stressful… and would soon become even more so. It was oh so difficult to stay in a good mood these days.
"Maassssssssttteeeer! It's far too hot out here! Are you sure we have to recruit here of all places?" The Twilit king, Zant, whined from behind me in a drawl. Ah yes… there was one of the reasons… My two newest minions followed along behind me on the trek through the desert. They both pledged their undying loyalty to me, probably out of intimidation or a need for some kind of authority. A husky annoyed sigh escaped my lips as I replied tiredly, "Are you in any position to question me?" Judging from the quivering "no" that was barely audible behind me I could be at ease knowing he wouldn't question my choices again. At times, I was at a loss of words describing Zant. Supposedly in his own realm he was a king, but he carried himself more to that of a spoiled child. The other, Ghirahim, was sufficed to say a bit more conceited than even me. In his time he had apparently been a weapon and minion to the great lord Demise, whom I may or may not have been related to at some point depending on who you ask. Perhaps that is why he chose to follow me.
It made me think briefly of the other demon with us who had been abnormally quiet for some time now. Curious, I glanced back briefly. Not surprisingly the sword-demon had materialized one of his black daggers and was fidgeting with it to keep himself occupied. What Idiots. Was it a curse that I was somehow always stuck with incompetent minions? Well that wasn't quite fair to say as I had yet to see either of them perform yet. But it was a safe enough guess.
If I was going to succeed in taking over Hyrule, I'd need an army of monsters. The Gerudo desert was full of them due to that blasted prison at Arbiter's Grounds. And Hylia knows I have plenty experience with imprisonment there. Naturally this was the first step in my conquest.
"It may not be a prime location for the complexion but I'm sure master had reason enough in choosing it." Ghirahim offered with a dramatic wave of his hand. "Indeed," I began, "We will free the imprisoned monsters and defeat their commanders. Then they will have no choice but to serve me. Need I remind you of what will happen should you fail me?" Ghirahim grinned with a confident bow, and though I couldn't see Zant behind his helmet he most likely did the same. So be it then. Try and impress me.
[Ghirahim's POV]
Pfew! It feels so good to be out of that stuffy master sword and back to mischief again! How long has it been, maybe a couple of decades or centuries? Heck if I know. Either way I feel absolutely terrific again! The only thing that would make it better is if I could punish that little twerp, Link, for locking me there in the first place. He did have such a lovely scream after all, and it is a crime to have not heard it for so long! It's a shame I have to play lap-dog again, but Ganondorf does have a certain 'je ne sais quoi' about him that reminds me of Demise. Also like my old master, he doesn't seem very confident in me… I will have to show him just how magnificent the Demon Lord Ghirahim can truly be! What's a little pressure when you have fabulous on your side? And I definitely have that to spare.
The Gerudo desert was truly something. It was both hideous and gorgeous at the same time. For one thing it reminds me of the Lanayru desert, back when I was chasing around the spirit maiden and the sky child was getting in my way… If I had to say though, the Gerudo desert's oasis is worth the trip here. It was quite easy to look at, and so beautifully out of place in this bland sea of sand. It was likely the only attractive thing in miles, besides myself of course. Alas there was no time for sightseeing, business is business after all. I was so excited to get down to that business and wear off the stiffness from being trapped so long.
Enthusiastically I leapt up beside the new master and did a quick little dance in front of him while he was contemplating. I called out, "So then, Ganny, what is the game plan?" He stared at me a moment, scowling at the nickname. It was actually Zant who answered, "I know I know! Let us take over the major keeps and weaken their defenses!" Darn… that was good. I wish I had thought of it first. Ganondorf processed it a moment, bringing his thumb to his ginger beard in thought. "Yes good then, we will overtake the three major keeps to lure out the commanders."
Orders given, I was preparing to teleport off to fulfill it quickly. "I'll take the North if it is of no consequence to you. Its aesthetic… speaks to me." I said a bit casually. "Very well, but do not disappoint me demon." He replied coldly giving me a stare that would have killed a puppy. I can see how this lovely relationship will progress then. Ouch. Shrugging it off for the time being I put on my best smile, raised my arm over my head and snapped my fingers. Instantly I disappeared in a flash of red, yellow and black diamonds. What kind of demon lord would I be without showy entrances and exits after all?
Within seconds I had appeared in the blue and yellow hallway en route to the keep. Rusted cogs littered the walls and debris was scattered all over the floor covered in dust and sand. I had my reasons for choosing this place above the others. Its layout and color schemes reminded me of that mining facility I had found the spirit maiden in some time ago. The place was old and dusty, the air stinking of monster musk among other things. Several little green bokoblins came down the ramp to greet me. How charming, I think as I snap my demonic sword into hand.
[Zant's POV]
Kyagh! Watching the demon snap away like that made me wish I had that power! That is so cool! With Mr. Ganondorf being terribly powerful and scary and Ghirahim being so resourceful and flashy I'd really have to work hard to keep up! I could do it no problem though. I am a genius, super energized, strategic, amazing… you name it and it fits me. I could totally handle this! Ganondorf was already on his way to the Sacred Grounds, but it had slipped my mind until I realized I had been standing alone there. Quickly I called out, "Leave the South desert to me master! I will not fail you!" I'm not sure he heard exactly since he was busy fighting some really big green monsters, but I took off anyway.
I wonder if this will be hard… The last time I had served under Mr. Ganondorf, the hero and that traitor Midna ended up beating me… and he didn't care! He left me there to suffer! It was terribly difficult finding a merciful god to watch over and manipulate me these days… It's not that I can't handle myself it's just that I… can't really… handle… myself.
I finally made it to the keep where bunches of short green bokoblins were standing around inside. I could feel all the sand stuck in my shoes and my thick robes sticking with sweat. It is dreadful. I want to go back to the nice dark Twilight! Agh! Taking out my anger on the little monsters I crazily sliced and spun into them from every angle. It proved to be quite a fun stress reliever. They looked just like ugly little rag dolls being thrown around. Soon out of nowhere I feel a slice at my back and turned around to see an especially fat moblin striking at me. Whoa! No it's just a little bigger than the bokoblins… You got this Zant! It was obvious that I could do it when I defeated the boss and claimed the keep for our forces without too much trouble. I really shouldn't doubt myself so much, heck, this was easy! As soon as the thought crossed my mind, two aeralfos popped out of nowhere taking me by surprise. It proved so very difficult to fight one while the other was poking me.
[Ganondorf's POV]
After the annoyances had left, sending my blades through hundreds of bokoblins became like a rhythmic game. I had captured the keeps along the way with ease and even freed some darknuts and stalchildren from their prisons. Their lives were to do with as I pleased now. Just the thought made my mouth curl into a satisfied sneer. Monsters always seemed to keep coming, so there was no real consequence to how many I killed anyway. They were just pawns in the game, of no real significance. But once under my control numbers would mean everything. That hero and the princess were not to be underestimated. The only way I could compete without my full strength is if I could wear them down a bit first.
Nearly clear across the field I could plainly hear Zant's whiny voice shouting for help. Quickly finishing off a moblin I let out a sigh and set off in his general direction. When I arrived I was greeted with the most ridiculous display of Zant running from two aeralfos. The palm of my hand met my furrowed brow in disgust as I let out a sigh. Was he really a king in his own time? I have some serious doubts. Although, it's easy enough to believe he had been overthrown as he lays claim. It was almost amusing, watching the Twilit king running with as much grace as a penguin.
In a few swift strokes I had cut down the flying beasts and loomed above my shaking minion. My disapproving glare prompted him to babble on, "Oh master! Thank you! Thank you! Terribly sorry that you had to trouble yourself with me-"
"Zant, remember I told you that you will not disappoint me, or else perish again?"
"Oh…. Oh yes sir… please no… I-I-I-"
"Silence. You will NOT have any more chances. You'd better impress me from here on, or I'm afraid I won't be able to control my temper."
"Thank you so much master! Yes, I won't let you down! I will impress you lord Ganondorf, oh yes I'll impress you!"
The sap was actually on his knees practically nipping at my heels. I did not have time for his groveling. I took up my swords and walked away from him on to the next keep.
There was a jail cell being blocked off by a bulbin that caught my eye. If I freed the creatures within it, they would have no choice but to obey me. The pathetic creature had barely even noticed what was going on until my black blade pierced into it. I allowed myself a deep chuckle as the gates of the cage opened. "Your lives are now mine, to do with as I please. If you do not meet my expectations, then there is no use of you to stay alive now is there?" The Darknut captain understood perfectly and saluted. Hundreds of rattled stalchildren followed the black-clad soldier into the battle where they began fighting with me. Perfect. Things were certainly moving along as planned.
[Ghirahim's POV]
Finally I had cut down the last of the beasts and claimed the northern most keep for Ganny. It was terribly taxing stuff, all this fighting. Some pink lemonade would be good right about now. Or just a way to get out of the desert, either or. With a quite elegant snap, I appeared beside the master in a flash of diamonds. He had struck his two black swords into the sand, arms crossed and eyes closed like he was waiting for something. At the whooshing noise I'd made popping in, he glanced at me before going back to whatever he was thinking about. I pouted, feeling the need to speak but didn't. A figure in the distance caught my attention. Closer inspection revealed it to be Zant, running over to meet us.
Apparently we had all been successful in capturing our keeps and luring out the commanders. The proof was obvious enough looking at the giant, hideous spider that was chasing Zant in our direction. Much to my surprise, the Twilit king looked pretty calm, albeit running like an idiot. To the contrary, he looked quite pleased with himself at luring the spider out. Ganondorf plucked up his swords, stretching out his muscles before charging after it. I followed suit rather gracefully.
Zant had set to attacking first, launching his scimitars into the spider at random. Crazy as his method, it seemed to be working out for him. I set to throwing glowing red daggers straight into her blue eye, eliciting a horrid screech from the poor girl. Ganny was no slouch either, making crazy darkness and glowing energy balls out of thin air to hit it where it hurt. With three demonic beings attacking it, it didn't take long to wear the thing out. Ganondorf gripped one of her thin legs in hand and stomped onto her eye with a little more force than necessary, considering she was already badly injured. Not that I felt sorry for her or anything… she was still repulsive. "You assist me now beast. Serve me, or die." The man barked with a husky growl. Gohma seemed to get the message just fine. Next the other two commanders appeared. The giant plant thing, Manhandla and the scaly Dodongo came out and launched their attacks. For these targets the three of us split up, Ganny against the dodongo while Zant and I tackled Manhandla.
Battle with the plant and the dodongo went just as successfully. Essentially we had just created an entire army of monsters at our disposal, adding them to the ones Zant and I already had. No doubt we outnumbered the Hylian knights, but the difference was that all of our monsters were completely brain-dead. Sad but true. At the very least, we could get into the nitty gritty now going after the little scarf-hero and the princess! Oh what fun was ahead!
Sorry part one was so long! Future chapters won't be this big; I just needed to set it up a bit. Anyway I hope those of you that did read it enjoyed it so far! ;)