One day a Twilight fan fiction author was typing on the computer. For lack of a better name, we shall call him Bob.
Waitaminute! You can't call him Bob!
I can do whatever I want foolish author. I am your muse.
Stupid muse! All Twilight fanfic authors are girls!!
... No they're not.
A good 98 percent of them.
Fine. For lack of a better name we shall call her Bobia. Happy?
Much.
Illiterate moron.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Anyways... One day a Twilight fan fiction author was typing on the computer. For lack of a better name we shall call her Bobia.
Wow! Who knew I could write such a great story? Bobia thinks, But I haven't been getting as many reviews as I wanted. I know! I'll leave this chapter at a cliff hanger, that way more people will review.
Foolish Bobia.
Suddenly...
The wall explodes! As the dust settles a figure emerges. It's... It's...
"Foolish fanfic author! I am the Impatient Reviewer, and I'm here to teach you a lesson."
"But... but... I just posted it." Bobia stutters as she cowers behind her computer chair. "How could you have read it so fast?"
"I am a dedicated fanfic reader, as such I HAVE NO LIFE! My entire existence is focused on discovering the fate of the characters in these stories. And you are an evil person to leave me waiting so cruelly." The Impatient Reviewer gets an evil look in her eye. "And so you must be punished." She says as she pulls a coil of rope out of nowhere, whielding it menacingly.
"Punished?!" Bobia squeaks, "But I write for you, the reviewer."
"The reviewer doesn't like cliff hangers." The Impatient Reviewer ties up foolish Bobia and then drags her outside.
"No! No! Where are you taking me?!"
"You like cliffs so much I thought you might like to play on one."
Bobia looks down...
...AND DISCOVERS SHE IS HANGING OVER THE EDGE OF THE GRAND CANYON!!
"AIEEEEEEE!"
"And now..." Out of no where the Impatient Reviewer brandishes a carving knife. "...for each day that you don't update I shall cut one cord on the rope."
"NO! DON'T! I promise, no more cliff hangers and I'll review faster too. NOOOOOOOOO!!"
The screams of poor Bobia and the maniacal laughter of the Reviewer fade into the distance.
And that is why cliffhangers are dangerous boys and girls.
You couldn't even come up with an original torture for the author. You're worthless!
Well you can't even type it grammatically correct even though English is the only language you can speak!
I'm learning Japanese!
Badly!
The author and her muse continue to fight.
AN: Think what you want. That's what really goes on inside my head. Sometimes my muse and I get along enough to actually come up with a good idea, but as it so eloquently said above... I'm really bad at grammar.
Say what you want, the button's down there.