When Nerds Get Bored
Chapter One
Burning animals, relationships, and electrocution.
Getting a roommate can sometimes be like sticking your hand in a jar of candy. Sometimes, you can get something cool like a snickers bar or some twix.
Other times, you can grab something decent like some butterscotch candies.
And then, there's the times when you pull out those shitty Candy corn things that absolutely nobody wants.
Darce...
Wasn't sure which category his new roommate fell into.
Things at Beacon had, for the most part, died down. Cinder had just up and stopped her plans of world domination, Mab and Lily had just straight up disappeared without a trace, and The Grimm were only being a minor nuisance. So, things had been relatively decent.
…
At least, they were, until someone *Cough cough* Nora *cough cough* blew up half of Beacon.
No one was quite sure how it happened. One minute, everything was quiet and peaceful, and the next, the first and second year dormitories were blown to smithereens. Luckily enough, all of the students were at classes when this happened, so no one was injured. But, this left teams JNPR, RWBY (Plus Darce and Gray), CRDL, and team CFVY without a place to stay.
But, luckily for Ozpin, there was a nearby building complex big enough to house all four teams. It was a tall, spiral shaped building with five floors and multiple rooms for everything, so it was spacious enough to hold all of them comfortably. Though, it wasn't exactly empty...
Crash!
"Get back here, you adorable little rat!"
ZZZAP!
"AAAAGHFEmfhfksuv osnwonuwr3mao-"
…
Hence, back to the whole roommate situation.
Laying on the floor in a smoking heap was a guy just a little bit younger than Darce himself, so just about 17. He had shaggy brown hair with green eyes and some light facial hair. He wore a black tshirt along with some tattered jeans and a pair of hiking shoes as well as a chain on his hip.
This guy..
Was Darce's new roommate, Madness.
Standing before him was a small yellow mouse, with a tail shaped like a lightning bolt, pointy ears, and round, brown eyes. It's most noticeable feature, however, was the blue circles on its cheeks, looking much like clown makeup.
This was Madness's Pikachu, Shavarsh.
"Pika-Pi?" the small Pokemon nuzzled his master's head with his nose before looking up at Darce with it's big round eyes, as if needing confirmation that he just didn't' kill his owner. Darce just shrugged while starting to brew some coffee.
"Dont worry, Shavarsh." Darce reassured the mouse pokemon as he took a sip of the brew, before remembering that he hated coffee and poured it on the floor. "Im sure he's not that much of a pansy where he'll get killed by that."
A shaky, smoking middle finger rose up from the medium-rare teen.
"F-f-fuck...y-you..."
"Love you too, Madness." Darce said blankly as he grabbed a soda from their room's refrigerator and walked past the brown haired roommate towards his bed.
Over the past two weeks of living with him, Darce had gotten to know the rather quirky guy and was surprised to learn that like He and Gray, Madness was from Earth originally as well. Though,unlike he and Gray, He had traveled to different universes before coming here, explaining how he had a Pikachu. And he had his own spirit-manifestation-whatever-thing named Ishkur. He never really elaborated on Ishkur, and would just normally say "The dude's an ass" and leave it at that. But, that wasn't what the most interesting topic they had ever discussed was.
No, ladies and gentlemen, THAT title belonged to Madness's constant ideas for Fanfiction.
"Hey Darce, I had an idea."
This was probably going to be one of those conversations.
"Just pick one, Yang or Velvet." Madness asked as he now stood in front of him with a Dr. Pepper in his hands, standing at his full height of 6 foot two, acting as if that whole thing with Shavarsh never happened.
"Depends, do you like innocent girls or do you want to lose your virginity to fire?" Darce asks as he pulls a book out of... Somewhere and begins to read.
"Why do you think i'm asking you, Darce?" Madness Deadpans as he falls backwards onto his bed, followed closely by Shavarsh who jumps up and snuggles next to his side. "I can't very well get the best of both worlds and set rabbits on fire, now can I? Unfortunately, that's frowned upon by society..." He then crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. "Fucking Pussies..."
Darce looks over from his book and gives Madness a Deadpan stare while sweat dropping slightly. "I wonder why..."
"Hell if I know."Madness shrugs before picking up Shavarsh and holding him above him while having the mouse pokemon salute while chanting "Hail Nox!" over and over again. Despite this odd display, Darce gave the question a little more thought.
He then threw the book out an open window behind him, hearing a 'raaaaeeewwwr!' a couple of seconds later, followed by Blake running off on all fours with a dead fish in her mouth.
Cause racism.
"Anyways, Yang is sweet, kind, friendly, and DEM BOOBS." Darce begins weighing out the differences before sticking his hands out as if the magnificent tits of the Xiao Long were right in front of him. He then shrugged. "But, Personally, her flirty nature, fiery temper, and monster strength is downright terrifying and would intimidate me greatly, if a relationship is what you're talking about. Velvet, however, is much more timid and shy, making her absolutely moe as fuck."
Madness gets a odd look on his face before dropping Shavarsh back onto the bed and pulling out a small notebook. He then writes in it while mumbling 'Moe..as...fuck...' under his breath. Regardless, Darce continues.
"Then again, if you go and fuck up with her somehow and hurt her feelings, she's on a team full of people much stronger than Yang." Darce nodded to himself in agreement with his statement. He heard a startled gasp and turned to see Madness sit up suddenly on his bed, sending poor shavarsh who was laying on his chest flying across the room, giving out a small yelp of surprise.
"I would NEVER hurt Bun-Bun Senpai's feelings!"
…
…
…
"I thought we were talking about a story?" Darce tilts his head to the side in confusion. What the hell was Madness talking about? Even Shavarsh looked lost. Madness, however, scratched the back of his head while giving a nervous grin and chuckling.
"Y-yeah, that's t-totally w-what im talking about..." He then points an accusing finger at his cat-faunus roommate. "What were you talking about, HUH?!" The Traveler then pulled a suicide bomb out of nowhere and pressed a button. "All HAIL NOX, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
BOOOOOM!
Once the smoke cleared, Madness sat crumpled on the floor, giving off a twitch every so often as his eyes were replaced by swirls. He then slowly crawled up to his bed and laid face down onto his pillow. Darce was still confused as all hell, but gave a small nod.
"So... Yeah, You're screwed either way, so bunny ears." He finished. Then, out of absolutely no where, he does an emotional 180 and picks up Shavarsh from the ground and brings the poor mouse pokemon in for a bear hug that would make Yang proud. "BECAUSE BUNNY EARS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE! PRAISE NOX, SHAVARSH! PRAISE HER!"
While Darce hugged the Pokemon with tears of joy streaming down his face, Shavarsh had started to get really annoyed with the past ten minutes. So, like any real badass would, he decided 'Fuck This Shit' and used thunderbolt, zapping the living shit out of the Cat-Faunus. After spasming uncontrollably in many odd poses, Darce let go of the small mouse and fell onto the ground, knocked unconscious as a few plumes of smoke rose from his mouth. Shavarsh huffed adorably before deciding to go look for Ruby, she always gave him snacks and cuddles, since he was super fucking adorable. Plus he had a tail.
Bitches love tails.
AN: Damn, im just spitting out story after story, aren't I?
Well, this is just a little brain child I had thought up a week ago at work, and it really wouldn't stop bugging me. The funny thing is that these are all based off of conversations I've had with a good Fanfiction friend of mine, who is also the best damn Co-author ever, rwbyfan5. He's mostly to thank for this, it's just him having to put up with my dumbassery and getting turned into a story.
Well, I really wouldn't call this a story. just kinda a little side project for humor and stuff. So, don't be expecting a ton of updates all the time on this. im still going to be putting all of my focus on my actual stories, Like AOTC and Decay.
Well, that's all for now.
MadnessDH98