My feet were practically silent as I tip toed down the halls. Shadowed over, the base is sleeping, or at least, everyone in it. Except me of course. I'm sure she's going to be surprised to see me, all I can hope is that she doesn't scream or shoot a hole through my head.
Livid colors all around me, I'm just a cadet here that has decided to sneak over to the freelancer's half to see my girlfriend. If she would allow me to call her that.
I grabbed her doorknob and turned it gingerly and stepped into her bunk. It is cleaner then any of my friend's, but that just makes me yearn more for her skin on mine, a simple hug or eye contact.
Ever since she's joined the special forces here, she's only become more vague about me; about what I asked her three days ago on one knee. You've made a fool of yourself, Leonard. But yet, here I am, standing at the foot of her bed, listening to the even breathing from her lungs, wishing that I could avoid the truth and her hostility.
Calmly and relaxed, I moved over to the side not touching the wall, where her face is turned, rested on her pillow. Her fiery hair scattered across the white pillow and white sheets. They come up to her chest and one arm pulls them up behind her head, the other hand under her head. The soft and rhythmic breathes hit my body, I bend over, they hit my face. Her wonderful scent fills my lungs; strawberries. Her pale skin looks white as the moonlight seeps through the window above her dresser and behind the headboard. My skin looks the same and matches the covers around her dainty body.
Petite, hourglass and gorgeous, I've always dreamed of having Allison as my wife. Having the promise that she'd love me until the day my heart stops fluttering in my chest, or beyond. The ring I've got that's stuffed in my pocket now and jabbing my thigh placed on her finger. She's yet to make good of my offer, and I doubt she will.
I lean forward and kiss her temple gently and slowly, her only response is to take in a deep breath and turn over. The muscles in her arms are barely visible, but I know they're there. Surely me of all people know this. Now laying on her back, her hands are rested one by her head, the other on her stomach. Careful not to wake her, I debate on whether to leave or try and crawl into bed with her. Most likely, she'll wake. And she looks so beautiful and delicate now, but not if she's awake. Instead of listening to her breathing, I'll be listening to a lecture or start a fight.
She groans and I kneel down next to her bed and reach out with a trembling hand to tenderly touch her arm. Her skin looks flawless under the influence of the moon's grasping light, but I know better. It's soft like powder, warm like a heating blanket, familiar more then my body itself. I've seen her every imperfection and she's seen every one of mine. And yet, it doesn't even seem to matter. I've memorized every part of her body, every draw of a muscle and every expression. I'm not even sure if she cares that I've never loved anyone as much as I love her.
The muscles in my legs twitch, I stand in response and head for the door a bit fleetly, grab the knob and turn it halfway. "Church?" I hear her, elegant, persuasive, surprised, octaves hitting voice. It stops me dead in my tracks as I mentally prepare myself for whatever she has in store for me. But I don't think anything could prepare me for Tex, not even fighting off a grizzly bear. At least there was a way to counteract the attack of bear, there's no way to counteract her. My feet work quickly to turn me to her. She is sitting up with her legs bent, head turned slightly to the left, hair hanging from her head. Her green eyes are like perfectly set emeralds in a ring, they reflect and spark in the moon.
"Oh… hello.." I said quietly, her head tilted more noticeably. It was simple curiosity that filled her face, I knew. Quite noticeably, she seemed pleasantly surprised.
"You were planning on leaving before I got to see you, ah? Think twice." My stomach twisted something awful in my gut, this was surely nothing that I'd expected. Probably a trick.
"I'll do that." My voice sounded too intense to me, I cleared my throat and smiled at her crookedly to loosen my sentence. Her eyes looked almost too relaxed, her body seemed peaceful, comfortable.
"Why don't you come over here and do it?" The tenderness, care, persuasion, childlikeness of her sentence let my legs move over to her unwillingly. Mind relentlessly convincing me to leave, I struggled with an accuse. Certainly not training, or Jimmy, or a party. I had nothing. Her gentle eyes waited for me to lay down, so I slipped off my shoes and crawled under her sheets she deliberately draped over me. The gentleness she used relaxing her head on my chest was unusual, the easiness that I used to my advantage and wrapped my arm around her back. It'd been too long since we'd done this. At least a few months. "What are you doing here?" Honestly I figured I had no idea other then impulse and yearning.
"I'm not sure…. I can leave." her arm wrapped around my waist to hold me there as fast as she could get it to move. Maybe I wasn't the only one missing someone. The pulse under her skin raced too fast now.
"You're, fine." Kindly, she craned her neck up and kissed my jaw with her silky lips that made my shadow seem too rough. Warmth circulated under the covers, reminding me of the our first night alone together, the first time she'd ever trusted me with all of her imperfections. The sound of rain pattering against the window of my car. The sounds I remember, echo like they should have had a thousand violins backing up, it would have fit better. "I've missed you…." My ears barely caught it, but they were in disbelief afterwards.
"I've missed you too." Ever so slyly, she twisted her left leg around mine. She deeply sighed, every bone in my body wanted to tighten her to me as close as I could get her.
"Like that was ever enough." She mumbled, like a voice from a musical cracking mid word, her voice changed innocently.
"As long as we always come back, it will be enough." My voice was more steady, convinced and calm. Something of a baby stare, her eyes lock on my face as I stare down at her. A couple of twitches at her lips later, her eyes dropped.
"That's what you don't get. It isn't enough, it never will be." Instantly, my head was shaking, trying to fathom why she thought it wasn't.
"What you don't get is that, we were meant for each other. Born to be together." Head relaxing on my chest, arm around me, moving over the exposed skin between my jeans and teeshirt.
"That's real cute, Leonard, really." She said sarcastically. "I'm honestly not happy about your turning gay on me." I rolled my eyes and decided to do whatever I wanted right now, give in. My movements were fleet as I sat up, she sat up, I entangled my hand in her hair and kissed her on the lips for the first time in months. Like a map long ago memorized, our lips moved in synchronization with each other. The yearning, pain, hunger all was there, but I couldn't imagined anything else. Lips parting, I felt her quick breathe fill my mouth, the pulse in her neck must have been a hundred and fifty beats a minute. Mine pounded in my ears. Her hands found my face and she moved away and ran a hand over my lips as they didn't close. Kneeling in her bed, she was exactly the same, but it was almost like she was shaking.
"I love you.." I murmured softly and velvety, the sound of her breathing increased, it filled my mouth seeing as we were still only a centimeter from kissing again. Fleetly, she traced my lips again before running her hand to the back of my head and entangling it in my hair. She kissed me again, her tongue entering my mouth and running over my lips and over my front teeth. It was almost like she was trying to get out of saying what I wanted more then oxygen itself. Why did she have to do this to me? Even if she didn't feel the same, I'd never leave, not even if I'd waited until I was gray and slow and never got anything from her.
"Hmm…" She hummed, moving away only an inch, the steady vibration in her chest made my trembling hands get sweaty as I waited; hoped. Her voice was perfect when she said something in French. My eyes shot open in response to the words I didn't understand. To me, it sounded like a bunch of soft noises.
"What? English?" German, my mind was perplexed, what was she saying? If only I'd attended those classes with her, right now, I'd understand. "English, please." My voice was getting stern and I was getting frustrated. Chinese. Was I losing my mind? Was this a dream? "Tex? Do you speak English anymore?" Spanish. The suspense was killing me, ripping my chest apart. "Is this a dream?"
"What? A dream?" She asked, speaking English now and sounding as perplexed as me. "This isn't a dream. I'm just talking in different languages."
"Well no shit, I got that part, but why? And what the hell are you saying?" She laughed and sat with her legs crossed before laying down. I was on all fours, brown eyes boring into her jade ones. At least, they looked jade.
"Because, I'd get choked up if I said it in English. And I'm not going to tell you that. I can't." She seemed distracted by my eyes, I knew I was distracted by hers. Though even if I hadn't been, I'm not sure if I'd connected the dots.
"Why not? You can do everything; anything." That seemed to make her cheeks redden a little. Seriously, I thought that. Skiing, surfing, dancing, skating, sky diving and most of all, fighting. You name it, she was good at it. Or at least, could do it. And she'd made me test my theory by taking her to do as many different things one summer as we could manage before the end. It was a very eventful summer to say the least.
"I know. But I can't say anything." The incredulous expression on my face must have made her kiss me, or maybe it was something else. I pushed her down and lowered myself so our chests were brushing, my mouth was at her ear.
"Yes, you can." She wrapped her hands around my shoulders.
"No, you can. I can't." My lips brushed her earlobe, air filling her ear, she moaned in response.
"That's not true. You can do everything I can."
"No… that's not true and you know it." My lips ran from her jaw to her lips, her soft skin giving my trembling hands no relief. A tremor ripped violently through her body and she impatiently kissed me. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. Lips parted, I was the one to run my tongue over her lips. Her rough hands ran down my chest and to my jeans where she went to unbutton them. I caught her hands with one quick one of mine. That wasn't why I was here. For once, I wanted her to see I'm not just one-sided. Maybe, she was one-sided. "No." Her eyes shot open at the unfamiliar word.
"Why?" I traced her jaw with lips.
"Because, I'm not here for that. I'm her to see you." she scowled, I moved back and lifted myself away from her. She was angry now, I could see it, feel it.
"I'm not following." Her voice was getting gruffer, I only had seconds to come up with something she'd understand.
"It's late, we both have training and you look tired." That was most of it. I laid down next to her again and stared at the ceiling. And she shuddered and gasped, I wondered why and turned to her. Without another movement, she grasped something over her stomach and held it. The sparkle explained everything; the ring. It must have fallen out of my pocket. It really didn't matter if her hands held it now, she was who I had it for. And she already knew I had it.
"I'm actually not tired." She mumbled and wondered what she'd do with it. Her hand ran around it, she turned it in her hands until it was positioned correctly, the diamond up, then she pleasantly placed it on her third finger on her left hand, where it belonged. The look I saw flash over her face was almost exciting, but it was gone quickly. I watched her as she examined it. "Your grandfather always had good taste." It was a hand-me-down ring from my father. The lump in my throat made me swallow.
"He did.." I whispered, voice small.
"What? You think it's weird I slipped this on? Don't be a retard. I'm not as hardheaded as you think. You had to get to me eventually." It made me get confused.
"What are you talking about?" She scoffed and turned over to face me.
"You don't think I didn't notice your pouting? You've been devastated that I turned down your tempting offer." Tempting, I shook violently, the bed barely reacting. She did react and just glared.
"I've not been pouting." The tone in my voice was gaining intensity as I scowled, whatever reason she was teasing me for, it wasn't funny.
"Not exactly pouting, but you've been disappointed." In an attempt to change the subject, she snuggled up closer to me, nuzzling her face in my neck. It worked on me like a charm, I'd completely forgotten what I'd been getting mad about, all I knew was that she was snuggling up to me and wearing the engagement ring I'd offered up. "What would you do if I told you I'd make good of your offer?"
"Whatever you want." The teasing was getting her nowhere with me and that was apparent. Though she wasn't about to give-up. Swiftly, she turned my head and kissed me, left hand behind my head. The gold ring on her finger was freezing on my scalp, but it was right. If there was anything I wanted right now more then breathing, it was for that ring to stay in place, for her to realize how much I cared for her. She gently bit my lower lip, I pushed her over onto her back and was atop her in one graceful movement. "Why are you doing this to me?" Her eyes moved slowly over my face like the tired woman I knew she was. It was almost four now, I'd been in here for an hour now.
"I'm not doing anything to you." Mind racing through the whole situation, I had trouble stopping myself from doing what she wanted right now. Her eyes frantically begged me, her body beneath me was practically shaking.
"You're playing with my head. Just, don't." I sighed towards the end and closed my eyes as I tried to understand her, she was still like an unopened puzzle. The pieces still shook inside.
"You think I'm playing with your head? Are you talking about the ring? I'm not playing with you. I'm serious, it was a tempting offer…." a brief pause overtook us as I waited for more, desired more. "Still is.." She mumbled.
"My offer will always stand. No matter what." That wasn't enough to make her eyes change intensity in the least bit. I shifted before laying down next to her again. Crickets chirped beyond the window, waning moon luster through her window and onto the floor next to me with waves of shades stroked through it that mark the blinds. Her bed is soft beneath me and almost feels like it might give way. A knock at the door, she shot up so quickly it must have caused her to get dizzy, because she grabbed her head.
"You almost ready, Tex!" York yelled and his tone was muffled through the door.
"Just give me a minute!" I turned to her and sat up. "You waited too long to leave. If you go now, you'll get caught by Wyoming. You'll just have to wait." I shrugged casually.
"Okay, I'll be here as long as I need to be. I'll even hide under your bed if you need me to." Her eyes were hard, she crawled over me and stood, dusting off, the ring twinkled over her. I was about to hold out my hand for it when she walked to the dresser and got out her clothes for the day. Then she kissed me on the lips before hurrying into her bathroom and turning on the shower. The door was wide open and I could see her striping and slipping in. Trilling singing filled the air as she sung complaints about York for his ears to catch.
"Bitch!" He hissed through the door and she laughed while continuing. Even though she wasn't an American Idol, her voice was still musically friendly. I laughed so hard that it hurt as she continued her song, going to Wash, whom I assumed was outside too. York was in hysteria too now, but I could hear, what I figured, was Wash complaining. Then as she got out, she started singing Santa Baby. I'm not sure where she was reminded of that, but she was. Of course, she knew I was watching her, as she was somewhat danced her way out and dressed. It only made me laugh harder each time she would bust a move. The others were confused outside, as I was of course. It was October. She turned around in her black uniform. It honestly wasn't that sexy, but the way she moved, changed it almost instantly. Her singing stopped and her laughing rocked her chest quickly.
She leaned in and kissed me as I stumbled to my feet and entangled my fingers in her hair. Her left hand ran through my hair, the ring on her finger now hot like her hands. It was a half carat, gold solitary ring. Surely it would be noticed by York and Wash. They'd both see it. But it really didn't seem to bother her as she parted from me and headed to the door where she opened it and glanced back at me. I smiled as she headed out with a grin. I instantly heard the others asking her about it, "What's that?" York asked, as if it wasn't obvious, I ran to the door to hear the entire conversation.
"What's it look like dumb ass?" She asked, their footsteps filling the air, waning voices.
"I know what t looks like, but what is it?" York's voice was calm, but a little nervous.
"I have officially affiance." I shuddered in response, excitement flowing openly through me.
"Wow, looks like I lost the pool." Wash snickered and that was all I could hear. I sighed and turned around to find something to keep me busy.
"Hmm, hello, Private." I know that British accent. Behind me is Wyoming with his white hair that's receding and a mustache. My best bet is to get nasty.
"Oh, hello. I was just leaving." I hissed and went to push passed him for his arm to catch me. "You've got four goddamn seconds to let me go." He smiled darkly at me, his eyes challenging.
"Now, now, is that very nice, Church?" Of course he knew my name, he was so far up his own ass, that he actually believed Tex was in love with him. Like hell she was. And like hell I'd ever let him touch her. "Why don't you hang around until dear Tex shows up?"
"No thanks. I've got better things to do then hang out with you." My strength was harder as I tried to get passed his arm fruitlessly.
"That would be?"
"Rest my hand on a grill." I said snappishly and ducked under his arm and growled as I headed down the hall where I found Jimmy urgently motioning me to hurry. My pace was slow as I stalked onward.
"You sure? I'm sure the Director would love to hear that you've been hanging out with his best agent." My body stiffened, legs stopped, hands clenched to fists at my sides. The Director would be pissed to find out I'd been messing with Tex's head just days before implantation. I'm sure to get tortured for that. I turned around on my heel, lights above bleak and bright, eye burning. "Hm, hm."
"You're an asshole you know that? I could slaughter you without feeling guilty." He smiled darkly.
"I'd be absolutely pleased if you'd try, old chump." That snapped my little self-control, like lightning, I ran over and punched him in the nose, then I kicked him down and stepped on his hand with all my strength as he went to grab my ankle and pull me down. Gasps erupted behind me and I turned to see Tex, Wash, York and the Director all standing and watching.
"Run!" Jimmy exclaimed and I took off to follow him as Tex chased me, easily besting me and grabbing my wrist. The feeling of her skin, the ring on her finger still, touching me, stalled my muscles completely. Jimmy was already gone when I stopped.
"Thank you." she said and leaned in and kissed me for the watching eyes to feast on. Her hands entangled in my hair, and I couldn't stop from lifting her off the ground and running my tongue over her lips.
"He was a bastard." I mumbled and set her down again, everyone else's eyes were wide, shocked, bewildered; Wyoming groaned.
"I love you." Tex said and I was about to say something when the Director stepped forward, his eyes looked familiar…
"How would you like to join the Freelancer Program? Agent North is still under question." I glanced at Tex, Wash, York, Wyoming…. His hand held out like a promise of a different future of killing aliens, working alongside Tex. Agent North Dakota.
"No thank you, Director. I'm happy sneaking around if you don't mind." I kissed Tex's forehead before whispering in her ear with pure serenity, "I love you too." So, I walked away with a smile, realizing I had what I'd wanted My future was secured. No need to ruin it with useless freelance work. Then again, maybe a little freelance work here and there wouldn't hurt. The Director caught my arm in the hallway.
"Can I just ask you if you'd be interested in making some money? We've got an outpost on Sidewinder that could use some extra help."
"You've got yourself a deal." My legs moved quickly as I went to my bunk, Jimmy was waiting for me with a smile. I knew now what Tex had been saying in all those different languages. She'd been trying to tell me in English what she simply could not, "I love you too."
The End