Why He Completes Me(slash)
When Alan and Denny went to get their marriage, the agent realized that they were not gay, and asked them, "You're both heterosexual, aren't you? Why are you doing this? And Alan answered "Because he completes me!)
Now he will tell you how Denny does this:(He always completed me, seasons 1-5)
1. He never lets me forget his name.
2. He accompanies me to places it would never have occurred tto me to go (for example, fishing in
British Columbia, his spa, to New Orleans to visit the French Quarter, and where he sings with
bands there.
3. He sleeps with his arm across my chest and I feel his heart beat. If only I could absorb the illness
that infects his body and will take his life and mind into my healthy one, and my own heartiness
could fill his whole body, even if it meant that my own body would cease while his lived on! I love
him so and admire him, that I think the world would be better without me, if he could continue.
4. He drops pearls of wisdom it takes me awhile to process.
5. He reminds me that we look good together, where ever we go and no matter how silly we look
6. He makes me laugh until my ribs are sore!
7. He listens to me intermittently.
8. He has asked me to shoot him when his mind begins to fade. That is something I have told him I
will never do, but he argues so brilliantly, that it would not surprise me if I were argued into that
as well
9. I believe he wants to be the guy to kill me, and at one time another any of us may need that
defending a client, he considers it great fun (which I do not always do)
11. He is willing to wear an English court wig when we are in a Canadian court.
12. He can insist that we both walk into our chosen law firm, looking a lot better than we smell
13. He shoots salmon when they refuse to bite on his bait
14. He prefers a friend to a wife (a preference which something every friend needs)
has inspired me to squeeze a clown's nose, in spite of my deep fear of clowns.
16. To save me from night terrors, he ties my leg to his, when we are sleeping on an upper floor.
17. He is someone to watch over me, as I hope I am to him.
As in the lyrics to "I couldn't live without you", Denny's the id to my ego, the conservative to my flaming liberal, he recognizes that midgets can be vicious, and whereas I get starved for some intimacy, Denny never feels lonely(?). Aren't we lucky to be us?
He reduces everything to him and me. When I confessed that my own father disliked me and diminished me, he told me that his own father with whom he practiced whom law, disowned him, (Fathers, Enh! who needs them). Then he told me that all midgets can be vicious (one of the pearls of wisdom and insight of the tolerant Denny Crane). Being around Denny reminds me that there is nothing like viewing death to give one his/her own self a sense of one's own sense of mortality. He has a very high degree of manliness, as he has told me many times. When we finally exchanged bodily fluids, it was when we sequentially kissed Shirley Schmidt, and he remarked that she didn't taste the same, then washed out his mouth with Scotch when he realized that it was my own saliva he sensed. Around that time he confided to me that the way to a woman's heart is not through her mother's genitals.
He completes all the deficiencies of me, and nicely makes up for all I lack, especially my patience with his illness and the cruelty with which it at times infects him..