Cole was looking at the pouring rain out of the window. He was spending the night at a motel and he couldn't stop thinking about Phoebe. She was everything he had, he didn't need anything else.

Just her.

Phoebe completed him, without her he felt like nothing. Her love was the only thing that kept him good. He thought that if one day Phoebe fell out of love with him for whatever reason, he would turn back into his old ways, being evil, being Belthazor. He hated that idea, he actually dreaded that idea. He shook his head letting that thought slip and continued staring at the rain.

"I miss you Phoebe." Cole uttered touching the window. I haven't seen her for so long. Cole sighed and remembered that only a week had passed. But it feels like forever. He brought her image in his head. That beautiful face of hers made him smile.

I miss holding her longingly in my arms, watching her big smile and hear her cute laugh. That laugh makes me smile, it brightens her gorgeous face. I love it.

I miss kissing her sweet lips, always tasting like cherry, and feeling her soft golden hair tangled in my knuckles every time I caress her head. Her coconut & mango fragrance intoxicates me and sends me to another plane, where it's only her and me.

She is so beautiful in every single way. Just a gaze of her big chestnut eyes and I know she is in love. Just a touch of her hands and she makes my heart smile. After all this time, she still has that effect on me. Whenever she is close to me, my heart jumps and I have this warm fuzzy feeling deep inside my stomach. That's one feeling I never knew existed and it was caused by her for the first time.

She is incredible.

Her body makes me go crazy. God, she is made of awesomeness. A true masterpiece. For that I'm sure. Every time I am with her, I know she is mine and no one else's. When I hear her grunt and groan, moan and whisper or shout my name, shudder underneath me I know it's all because of me.

Besides her being gorgeous as hell, she is smart and witty and funny and I am having such a great time with her. I love spending all of it with her. Whether we talk or we make out or having sex or just hold each other, when we fight demons or even when I help her with the Manor chores. I don't care. I just want to be with her.

I'm addicted to her.

I never thought I would be addicted to anything. Well, except for power. Demons worship strength and power. That's all we need and want.

We.

I hate being one of them. I wish I could just be Cole Turner. Human Cole Turner and no more demon halfs. Belthazor is a part of me, but he is horrible. All the disgusting things I've done these past years were because of him. Well, me. He is a part of me, unfortunately...

But, as long as he doesn't threaten Phoebe it's all right. I can deal with that. His voice is plain whispers in my head, which I easily ignore when Phoebe is near me. I can't even imagine my life without her or at least I try not to, except for sometimes. But that's a nightmare I never want to experience.

I still don't know how Phoebe saw through that evil monster I used to be and fell in love with me. Maybe because she never saw it in action. Maybe if she knew how many innocents I've killed in the past and the way I killed them she would leave me. She would hate me.

The most scaring of all would be that she might even hate herself for loving me. I'd rather kill myself than hurt her like that.

She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. The best. If she knew what I am thinking, I bet she would get scared, tell me I'm nuts and leave me. But, it's just how I feel. She is Phoebe. My Phoebe and always will be in my heart and mind.

No matter what.