A/N - Presenting....Finding Sirius, a HP/FN crossover thingy, starring everyone's favourite Marauder!

*Gets clobbered by p.o'ed Remus fangirls, including the other half of the director herself, who does not agree at all*

X_X Ow... OK...starring everyone's SECOND- favourite Marauder.

*Is beaten over the head by Lily*

OW! Merlin, what've I got to do to NOT get clobbered?! X-(

Presenting... Finding Sirius, starring the only Marauder who is actually a favourite, is not a werewolf, and does not have messy black hair - except that he DID get awfully messy hair while he was in Azkaban...so I guess that doesn't count - except - wait! By that time James had kicked the bucket! So they never had messy hair at the same time!

.................

SCREW THIS! .

Presenting Finding Sirius. A combination of Finding Nemo and Harry Potter. Directed by Luinramwen, script written by Luinramwen and all her muses on sugar. Starring Sirius. (Duh!) .

Disclaimer - don't own...am currently p.o'ed. LEAVE ME ALONE!!

*~*SCENE ONE*~*

[Halloween night. A little house out in the middle of a reef - sorry, town!]

~Baby Harry, though still, of course, just a baby, is busy thinking deep and thoughtful thoughts.~

Harry - Gurgle! [Translation: I am lucky. I have this lovely view out my window of the exact middle of a tree-trunk, I'm fed and changed and adored by two loving parents. What more could I ask for? ^u^]

~Lily and James enter the baby's nursery, followed by a strange man who is of course immediately recognized by fangirls everywhere~

Fangirls: ^_^ ORLANDOOOOOO! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

~Orlando gulps and dives under the crib on the set~

Director - ?!? What the hell?! CUT! Get out of here before you're slobbered to death! You can hide in my closet. ^_^ It's safer there.

~No, seriously, the strange man is Sirius Black, though Harry obviously doesn't recognize him~

Harry - Ga! [Translation: Gah! How dare you bring this strange man that I obviously don't recognize into MY house! Get out!]

Lily - See, Sirius? Of course he recognizes you. He certainly should...you're over here so damn often...

Harry - GA! [Translation: GAH! Why aren't you doin like I told you to? Get him out of here!]

James - Pay no attention to her Padfoot, she's just joking.

Lily - . Sure I am...

~Sirius is not paying any attention to his friends. Strangely enough, he can speak Baby and is very insulted by Harry's comments about him~

Sirius - *glares* Ba! [Translation: How rude!]

Harry - *innocent* Ha! [Translation: Whatever ARE you talking about?]

Sirius - Ma! [Translation: You know perfectly well. This is the thanks I get! I thought we were friends!]

Lily - .... ^_- Hunh?!

James - It's all right, dear, they're having a nice little conversation. Let's just let them be for awhile. You can go finish making the soup.

Lily - @_@ LEAVE?! Leave SIRIUS?! With HARRY?! Are you mad?

Harry - *furious* Ga BA! {Translation: IMPOSTOR! I DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!]

James - Oh, come on, Lily, I'd trust Sirius with my life, surely you can trust him with Harry. It's just for a few minutes anyways. What could possibly go wrong?

~This... as James leads a reluctant Lily out of the room~

Sirius - . Grrrr.... [Translation: If I wasn't your godfather, why I'd -}

Harry - !! [Translation: !! There's something outside!]

Sirius - Meh. [Translation: How can you possibly tell? It's so dark out you can't even see the exact middle of the tree trunk about six inches outside your window!] *Looks out window, narrowly missing conking his head on the said tree*

~All is silent...eerily silent...outside. Nothing stirs. To increase the spookiness, nothing is even stirring downstairs where Lily and James are, although that could be accountable to the fact that the soup that had been boiling on the stove is now done~

[cue ominous music]

Sirius: *ignores ominous music* Gabo. [Translation: See, Harry? Nothing out -]

~A large explosion down below. Harry and Sirius both start in surprise.~

Harry - EEEEE! [Translation: Then what was THAT?!]

~Sirius sticks his head out the window again. This time his head connects hard with the tree~

Sirius - X_X *tumbles out the window, unconscious*

Harry - Ow.

~Lily runs into the room, terrified and pale. She snatches Harry up protectively~

[segue into scary music]

Harry - @_@ Uh-oh.

~Uh-oh is right. What follows is a scene the director is sure you are all familiar with, namely, another loud bang and a yell from downstairs, then Voldemort rushing into the nursery and [cue End of the World] waltzing around the room with Lily~

Lily and Harry - ^_- ???

Director - U_U Sorry, wrong script. CUT!

Lily - Besides...I don't think that song's a waltz. Too fast, for one thing.

Director - You're telling me? I'm the one who made that up! ACTION!

~Uh-oh is right. What follows is a scene the director is sure you are all familiar with, namely, another loud bang and a yell from downstairs, then Voldemort rushing into the nursery and killing Lily, then attempting to kill Harry, but obviously failing miserably, otherwise this story and the original Harry Potter series wouldn't exist, which would of course be a very bad thing. More so if the original series didn't exist, but that's beside the point~

[An hour later, indicated by short blackout]

Sirius - *lying conked out in the bushes* X_X

~Hagrid appears out of nowhere. He goes into the house, picking his way through the wreckage, takes Harry from the late Lily, come out again and sees Sirius lying conked out in the bushes~

Hagrid - ??....Sirius?...

Sirius - X_X

Hagrid - Uhhh....Sirius?...Yeh allrigh'?

Sirius - X_X

Hagrid - ....SIRIUS, WAKE UP!

Sirius - X_X

Hagrid - *shrugs* Meh.

~Hagrid sees Sirius' motorbike keeled over in the grass and decides to borrow it. He guns the motor and flies off into the night.~

Harry - *hic* [Translation: I've losht everyone, includin' that man I obvioushly didn' reconnize! I'm all alone *hic*.....alsho, I've been drinkin' from Hagrid'sh flashk of brandy]

Hagrid - Hey, you! You're too young to be drinking! . *snatches brandy flask from Harry and gulps down the few remaining drops, then tosses flask away*

Harry - ... -_-

*~*~*

A/N - well...that was just plain weird. Meh. *shrugs and tries to shake Sirius awake* C'mon Sirius...let's get out of here and get you ready for scene two, before your fangirls show up.