A/N: So I've had this story started ages ago before season 3 started airing and then my laptop broke down and I just found it again and thought I'd finisih it and put it out there. Obviously it can't hold up with our canon married Jeller, but oh well. Enjoy. :)

Jane's face was blank when she concentrated on her target. She held the ball firmly in both hands first and then, when she had gotten all the intel she was going to get, had taken the wind and the incline of the lane into account, she let her left hand drop to her side, while the right one threw the ball in the air. Following the trajectory with her eyes she grinned smugly when the ball hit 50 points – what she had been aiming for.

Her smile grew even wider when Oliver cheered her on from the side "Hey! Not bad for a first- timer" he laughed at her, the accent she was growing so fond of on full display. Taking the beer he handed her, she tried to control her facial expression more, so, to stop herself from grinning like an idiot she took a sip of the beer.

"I can't believe that you have never played Skee-Ball before" the man next to her was just saying when she swallowed the liquid "How's that even possible?" She was about to reply – not sure what she wanted to say exactly – when he beat her to it "I know, you said the past is just the past but this is much more mysterious than your tattoos."

She couldn't believe how glad she was that she had called him again earlier that day because again the smile on her face was so wide it almost hurt. Laughing softly she turned to him "Well, let's just say I had a very unusual childhood."

The silence that descended on them after that wasn't awkward at all but before it could continue, Jane pulled out the tickets they had gotten so far, holding them up excitedly "So, what will this get us?" she asked while they started walking towards the booth they got the balls from. It was such a great evening, they were at ease around each other – it was something she had never experienced with anyone that was not on her team. It was fun.

"Ahh" Oliver seemed to consider, looking to the booth and back at the tickets again "How does a brand-new pencil eraser sound?" he wanted to know, his face completely serious.

Nodding she tried to keep down her smile a little when she replied honestly "Kinda boring." Their eyes met when they laughed at that and he kept going.

"What about a plastic set of vampire fangs?"

"Better." She answered with a chuckle.

Suddenly he grew serious "You know, I thought I was never gonna hear from you again. I thought, maybe, I had screwed it up."

He seemed so sincere and she found his obvious disappointment about their fatal first date endearing. She bit her lip, trying to avoid his steady gaze "Uh, it wasn't you. I- just" she looked to the side, searching for the right words before meeting his gaze again "I just needed to see things differently."

It was the truth after all. She doubted she would've made any move to text him again hadn't she had the talk with Roman. It felt liberating to do something outside from work, something that she chose to do simply because she wanted to with someone who wasn't caught up in tracking down her mother, the world's leading terrorist. Being here, laughing with him, felt refreshing and exciting in a way that was a lot different from the usual life and death situations.

"Well I'm glad you did" he said with a sweet smile, pulling her back to reality and she laughed, feeling embarrassed by his intense gaze, looking back to the booth and that was when she found the prize she wanted.

Her eyes lit up when she took a step towards it, pointing at the stuffed animal "How many tickets is that?" she wanted to know with a grin.

"Uh, thousands, millions" Oliver gave back lightheartedly.

"Are you saying we can't do it?" she joined in the playful banter, trying to keep her face serious.

"Oh, we can do it" he said with mock conviction "But that is gonna take a serious level of commitment. I'm thinking thirty or more hours of skee-balling – spread over ten or so days." He was making fun of her and she enjoyed the carefree banter but didn't reply, just grinned up at him.

After a short break he took a deep breath and she felt his warm hand drop down until it was next to hers, threading his fingers through hers "But if you wanna head down that path, there is no turning back. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Jane looked at him for a moment, deep in thoughts. He might not even realize just how much new territory this was for her but he seemed to say all the right things – nudging her in one direction but never forcing anything. That was what made her grin up at him then, with a big smile on her face.

"That shark is mine."

And just like that they fell back into their easygoing conversation and continued walking over the fair, holding hands all the way.

From that evening on, playing skee-ball became their thing and it didn't take long until that wasn't the only thing they did together anymore. Every now and then Olive would ask her out on other dates, be it in a fancy restaurant, at a takeaway or at his place where he would cook for her.

Slowly she got used to being around him whenever she didn't have to work and Jane looked forward to each and every single one of their dates. They talked a lot, they talked about everything and yet somehow they managed never to breach the subject of her past or her tattoos again and for his thoughtfulness she was grateful.

He never pushed, never demanded, never claimed more than she was willing to give. All the while treating her like someone special, taking care of her but never treating her as if she was weak. He seemed to know all the right words and it made everything that much more confusing.

She didn't know how she felt about him – and she didn't know what he felt for her and what was expected from her in a situation like that. She had never been in this situation, that she could remember, but she wanted to make the best of it.

Without knowing it, Oliver introduced her to new things on a regular basis, be it going to the zoo or trying out different kinds of ice cream – with every new thing she discovered about herself that he knew, too, she felt a little less out of place with everyone else as well.

For the first time she could join Reade's and Tasha's banter about their thoughts on the newest Star Wars movie compared to the old ones because she had just seen them the other day.

Jane felt freer than she had ever been since she had stepped out of that bag in Time Square. She didn't have a security detail following her around, she didn't have to stay at her safe house all the time and she could finally see something of the city she had spent almost one year and a half living in.

Holding hands had become something she enjoyed pretty fast, rather than finding it awkward to have someone this close to her all the time, but their first kiss had cost her a lot of thinking.

There had only been two men she had kissed before, in her memory, one kiss she had initiated while the other had been sprung on her after a heated conversation.

The kiss with Kurt had been her first in this new life, his lips feeling so soft on hers. He had been so surprised and she still cherished that memory above all – it had been the first time she had done whatever she wanted without caring about anything else. It still gave her butterflies in her stomach when she thought back to that feeling and sometimes it felt like she was betraying him but then she remembered that he was in a relationship with Nas and expected a child with another woman.

No, they could never go back there, as much as she wanted to. She was glad that they were on speaking terms again and she wouldn't jeopardize their friendship for a misguided attempt at a hopeless romance.

Oliver was the safer candidate, sweet and harmless.

Their first kiss had felt exactly like that. Sweet and harmless.

His lips, although warm, hadn't had the same tender softness Kurt's had and he let her take the lead, never pushing further himself, unlike Oscar who had practically attacked her passionately. Still… this was nice and with every passing day Jane learnt to appreciate him a little more.

"What are you thinking about?"

They were walking through Central Park and he tugged at her hand lightly to pull her from her thoughts. Shaking her head she smiled at him.

"Uhm… nothing" and then, because she wanted to lie as little as possible "I was just thinking about our first kiss."

Suddenly he pulled to a halt and made her stop with him. His eyes wide he stared at her in disbelief but she could still read the mischievous glimmer in his eyes when he pulled her closer and she put her arms around his neck reflexively, smiling up at him shyly.

"So our first kiss was nothing?" Oliver wanted to know, frowning down at the woman in his arms. "Then I suppose we don't have to repeat it a-"

She broke him off with a quick peck on his lips and laughed at his flabbergasted expression when she pulled away.

"Oh. So you do want to kiss me? I'm getting some very mixed signals here."

Jane grinned and took his hand in hers, threading her fingers through his thoughtfully "I do want you to kiss me but I also like taking you by surprise."

Shaking his head she could hear him mutter "Women" under his breath when they continued walking. Her heart felt light, almost carefree for the first time that day.

"Jane?!"

Of course she couldn't just have half an hour to herself to relax. Dreading the confrontation Jane turned around to the bubbly blonde woman making her way towards them.

Patterson stared at her as if she had never seen another human being before, then her gaze wandered over to Oliver and back to her.

"Helloo" she dragged the greeting, holding out her hand "You must be Oliver, right?"

"Yes, that would be me" he replied with a smile and looked back to Jane "You're friends?"

"Yes" Patterson replied before Jane had the chance "And co- workers but we're also reaally close friends. That's why we're meeting up for a coffee break when you're coming back from lunch, right, Jane?"

Sighing in defeat Jane bobbed her head "I'm looking forward to it."

"I can't believe you two are like… together!" Patterson exclaimed the second Jane had stepped into her lab and closed the door behind her. "You have to tell me everything!" She ushered her friend to a more private corner and sat her down on the chair.

"When did you call him again? Did he call again? Have you been seeing each other regularly? You guys looked so cute!" And finally her last question "Does Weller know?"

Jane grimaced "Why would he need to know?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow and Jane sighed "I told him I went on a date the other day… that was incredibly awkward and I would like to not repeat that any time soon. And why would he care?"

"Oh, dear. Why would Weller care?" She grabbed the tattooed hand and squeezed it lightly "Because he cares about you. And you seemed happy… really happy in the park with Oliver… I just don't want you to hold something back that could sabotage your happiness."

Jane nodded slowly, thoughtfully "Do you think I should tell Kurt? I mean we're barely friends again… I'm sure his head is elsewhere and…" helplessly she raised her head to meet her friend's eyes.

"What I think" Patterson started deliberately "Is that you deserve to be happy and whether or not you tell Weller about it is completely up to you. But you should know that he does care about you. He'll be happy for you, too."

Shrugging she fidgeted with her hands "We'll see. I think I have to go get some work done" she added, rising to her feet. With a last look back she smiled at the blonde who still watched her intently "Thanks, Patterson."

"I'm happy for you, Jane."

"Kurt?" she frowned at him when she walked up to the doorstep of her safe house and found him sitting there, his head in his hands as if he had been sitting there for quite some time. Pulling the shark closer to her chest as if that would protect her somehow she took another step forward "Is everything okay?"

Finally he looked up and his blue eyes met hers. They looked glazed. Had he been drinking?

"What is going on?"

He stared back at her, his eyes focusing on the stuffed shark she had pressed to her chest all of the sudden and his expression turned even grimmer. "Did he give that to you?"

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, hugging the animal closer to her chest, she raised an eyebrow at him "Did who give what to me?"

"The shark" he stood up, growling at her but she took a step back.

"Kurt" her voice was firm "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" he breathed in heavily and, turning on the spot, raised his hands to the sky as if he was completely exasperated "I want you to tell me who that guy was."

Jane frowned at the drunk man in front of her that had been in way too many of her thoughts recently than she would like to admit. She wasn't sure what he was talking about unless… "You mean Oliver?"

Oliver had picked her up from the office today. He hadn't come all the way up, of course, but he had waited for her in the lobby. She hadn't seen anyone down there but maybe Kurt had…

"Is that the guy from the gala we went to? Did he give you the shark?"

"Why do you care?" she levelled her gaze at him, daring him to say anything else and at the same time hoping he wouldn't continue. She had had a great evening… they had finally managed to win the shark and she had been so happy that her cheeks had hurt from smiling so much. And still, why did she like the fact that Weller cared enough to seek her out? Why did her heart flutter? At the same time she was annoyed with his overbearing behavior. Who did he think he was?

He seemed to try to regain his temper but with limited success "What we do is dangerous" he started off, clearly looking for the right words "You don't know anything about him… He could be-"

"What?" she scoffed "He could be an assassin trying to take me out? Oh, please, Weller. Do you even listen to yourself? That is ridiculous! I can take care of myself."

He glared back at her, his right hand running through the hair on his neck as he tried to make her see his reasons "Of course you can but when you start feeling comfortable he could.."

"He could turn out to be a super spy?" Jane threw back at him incredulously "Right. It's so much better to fall into bed with a known superspy. Next time I'll try to find my own NSA fuck buddy." She spit it out and almost regretted it when she saw the hurt cross his features but then she remembered how much he had hurt her. That he had started sleeping with Nas. That he expected a child with another woman.

"You don't have the right to tell me anything" she stated calmly and returned his gaze with a stern one of her own.

It was quiet after that. She could almost see his mind working on something to say but it seemed he drew up a blank. They had gotten closer during their argument and Jane could smell the alcohol over his cologne. The smell she had once loved so much… covered by his alcohol breath and she hated it. She had loved his strength and clear-headedness. She didn't like this version of him… that recklessly slept with women he clearly had no intention of calling his girlfriend.

And she didn't know if she hated it because she was jealous or because she had the feeling that he had changed. Maybe what they had had simply ceased to exist. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe… looking into his bright blue eyes would be easier one day when she was finally over how good it had felt to be in his arms. If she ever got that far.

Jane felt the tears well in her eyes but she fought them back. She didn't want him to see the hold he still had on her. She wanted to move on, to find as much happiness without him as she could because clearly he had no intention of being happy with her.

"If you have nothing else to say, I would like you to l-"

She hadn't even finished the sentence when her phone started ringing and he seemed to be frozen to the spot, so, cursing under her breath she tried balancing the stuffed animal in her hand to get to her phone in the pocket of her jacket.

It was Oliver. And Weller had seen it, too, his eyes had darkened.

"Hey" she greeted him "This is a bad time right now, can I call you back later?"

"You can try" the voice on the other hand replied. There was no Australian accent, no warm and sunny reassurance. This wasn't Oliver. But she knew the voice nonetheless and it sent a shiver down her spine. "But I think it would be better for your little friend here if you'd make time right now."

She took a deep breath, clutching her phone tighter to her ear "Where is he? What did you do with him?" She felt Weller move beside her, felt his presence on her left side but she tried to ignore him. "What do you want?"

"Fear not, my dearest Remi. We have treated your toy with the outmost care. Not a hair on his head has been harmed…yet" the voice cackled in her ear "I want you to come to me. Don't bring the FBI or I will kill your boyfriend. If you do as I say he will be free to leave. You on the other hand…"

"You want an exchange?" Jane spit out "Fine. When and where?"

When her phone went dead she started at it until the message with the address arrived.

"You can't do that, Jane."

That's when she remembered Kurt next to her. She whirled around, throwing him an angry look. "I can't do what? He has been kidnapped because someone wants to get to me. To Remi. It's my fault he's in danger and I need to get him out of there."

She felt him grab her arm "You can't go charging in there on your own."

"Well, either you help me then or you don't. I have an hour to get there and I'm not risking his life on that."

They stared at each other with heated gazes until he finally relented and let go of her, looking down on the shark she was still pressing to her chest "Fine. My car is just around the corner."

Dust and blood still clung to her clothes and her face was bruised and dirty when she stepped off the hospital's elevator, the shark clutched to her chest. Every step she took felt harder than the last and she felt so tired all of the sudden. She should have known that this was the only possible outcome. There was no way that someone like her would ever get a happy ending. It just wasn't in the cards for her.

They had gotten there in time. They had gotten Oliver out and they had taken the kidnapper into custody, hoping that maybe he could tell them more about Remi and Sandstorm. But it hadn't gone according to what little plan they had managed to come up with in the short time span. Oliver had still gotten hurt and Kurt had been hit in the plates and she… well, she had been shown once more just how hopeless it all was.

Quietly Jane walked down the hallway until she reached room 312 and stopped dead in her tracks. What was she supposed to say? "Sorry that you almost died because of me? The date tomorrow is still on, though, right?" No. If he didn't end it she would have to. She had to leave the small bubble of hope they had built in the midst of her crazy life and face reality again.

Very slowly she pressed down on the handle and tried to push the door open as quietly as possible. The room was dark, the light from the street was the only thing illuminating the man sleeping peacefully in the bed, hooked onto an IV bag and what seemed like a pump for his pain.

His face was bruised and his eyes seemed to be moving rapidly even in his sleep… it didn't look very relaxing.

She took a step forward, taking his warm hand in her cold one and squeezing it lightly. How much she wanted to stay here and wait for him to wake up. And at the same time… she didn't want to look him into the eyes… she didn't want to see the accusation reflected in them.

Instead she dropped his hand carefully and gently put the shark next to him on the bed.

"I am so sorry, Oliver" she whispered, tears burning in her eyes "I hope you can forgive me" she caressed his cheek one last time "Thank you for everything. Goodbye." With that she took a step back and without looking back retreated into the hallway once more.

When she looked up she found Kurt walking towards her. He slowed down as he got closer and she knew he saw the tears that she had stopped fighting and that where now running down her cheeks freely.

She tried to get herself under control again but for some reason that only made her shoulders shake more forcefully and a sob escaped her lips. All of the sudden she felt more than saw him pull her to him and found her head resting on his chest while his arms sneaked around her, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Jane felt the low rumble in his chest and his scratchy stubble on her forehead when he bent down to press a kiss to her forehead and whispered "I am so sorry" into her ear and in that moment everything seemed hopeless and hopeful all at once.