He Won't Get Out of My Head
Hey ppl. This is a very interesting fic. It is my second stab at writing, so plz be nice! This story contains drug use and language, and also rape (not graphic), it is kind of a dark fic, but not. Anyway I hope you like! And Plz Plz (!) r&r!!!!!!!! Oh and flames are welcomed to feed the fire, (I guarantee I'll make an ass out of you)
Disclaimer: I own nothing from this fic! I wish I did but I don't. No matter how out of character the ppl may be, I don't own them!! Oh and any stores and/or bands mentioned, I don't own. Don't sue me. If you did that would be gay, so GET A LIFE!!! Ok anyway moving on....
Chapter one, Changes
"What the hell?! Not Again!! Fourth time this week!" cried Mrs. Granger almost to herself, as she looked at her sixteen year-old daughter passed out on the floor, with an empty veil and a syringe needle on the floor next to her. Doing what she had done so many times before that summer, Mrs. Granger picked up her daughters frail form and laid her on the bed and covered her with her comforter and then left her to wake. But like anyone else would have done, she picked up the empty veil and needle and pocketed it, in hopes that her efforts would stop her daughter's drug addictions.
Two hours later, around 1:30 pm, Hermione became conscious again and was feeling the worse part of the after-effects. "Oh my god, I feel like shit." She said to herself. After a while she got up and took a shower and then headed downstairs in only a black towel, to find her parents just about ready to walk out the door. "Where are you all off to in a hurry?"
"We are going to Diagon alley to pick up your school things. Aren't you aware that term starts tomorrow?" said her mother, almost lovingly.
"Ah fuck," said Mione, not caring that she swore in front of her mom, "Well in that case, I will be going out with Kelly tonight, I need to pick up a few...necessities" She said turning around and heading upstairs to get dressed.
"Alright but be back before dark" Her father called up the stairs behind her.
"Whatever, thanks for your genuine concern." She said sarcastically. Back in her room Hermione went to her dresser and pulled out first a midnight blue thong, and a black bra. Then she headed over to her closet and pulled out her favorite pair of pants from Hot Topic. They were of course, black, and in the back they had criss-crossing chains and they were super baggy. Perfect in her opinion. Then she pulled out a tight black shirt that came down far enough to show off her *ahem* stuff, and had a fireball with silver sparkles displayed on the front. And she also pulled out a huge black sweatshirt that said 'jnco' on the front. When she was fully dressed she went to her bedside and called up her friend. "Yo" she said. "Kelly there?" She asked carelessly.
"Yes, hold on" said a female voice.
"What up?" asked the sound of Hermione's best friend.
"You wanna crash Club Midnight girl? It's my last night before term, school starts tomorrow."
"Hell yea! I'll meet you at your place with the rest of the gang in a half hour. K?"
"See you then." She said and hung up. Meanwhile, while waiting for her friends she went over to her huge stereo and popped in Korn. "This is the shit" she said, while applying the last she had of her black eye shadow and eyeliner. When she was done with the makeup part of her wardrobe, she went into her bathroom and brushed out her now long and straight, jet black hair. Her favorite part about her hair was the cherry red tips.
"Lets go!!" Her friend screamed up the steps.
"Coming!" she said, grabbing her guitar and bounding down the steps. Running outside she put her guitar in the trunk of the black mustang, along with the rest of the bands equipment. Over the summer Hermione had learned to play guitar, and was very good. So when she met her new group of friends they put together a simple band, that later turned out to be the hottest thing in her town. They had even landed a few tracks on the radio. In her opinion, she liked to compare their band Firewalkers, to Evanescence, not heavy metal, but super hard rock. She jumped inside and said, "Where to first?"
"Well we could crash the mall. Our gig isn't till 7:00 and it's only 2:30." said Max.
"Yeah she's right, and I need to get a few things from Hot Topic." said Hermione.
As Hermione walked in through her front door at 4:00 in the morning, she didn't even bother to be quiet, because she knew that just like every other time, her father would be waiting for her. And where her father was, there was sure to be pain.
"Where have you been young lady?!" he screamed at her, an inch away from her face.
"I was out, like I said I would be." She said, getting a little afraid.
"Out?" he repeated grabbing her arms, "out?!" he shouted, thrusting her onto the couch. Hermione knew what was going to happen next, he would tell her how much he hated her, how much of a waste she was, and how much of a whore she was. And then, as if routine, he would rape her. And like every other time before Hermione would lay there, emotionless until he was done, and when he left she would go to her room and cry. Yes, she would cry. Nobody had ever seen her cry, she wouldn't let her guard down like that, but oh, did she cry.
"I hope you had fun, I know I did." He said. That was his trademark saying. Every time he was done he would say this. And before he turned around to leave he turned back to her and possessively and quite painfully put his mouth onto hers, shoving his tongue to the very depths of her mouth, tasting every last bit of her. Then he turned and left. When she was sure that he had gone, she slowly made her way up to her room and into her bathroom. She turned on the shower and first stood there in the freezing water thinking of why she kept letting this happen. And then she suddenly felt extremely dirty for not stopping him ever and wanted to be cleansed of his dirty self. So she then turned on the water to scalding hot as if trying to cleanse her very soul. And she stood there like that until she was sure to pass out. She then got dressed in her usual black boxers and black wife beater. And she knew what she was going to do next; she would sit on the edge of her bed, pull open her drawer and draw out her razor blade. She slit her wrist every time he raped her, and she now had quite a collection of scars. She slowly cut her wrist watching the blood come oozing out like water from a built up faucet. She then went over the slice a few more times, making sure it would stay there for a good long week or two. She then grabbed a black hoodie, pulled it over her head and quickly set her alarm. Even though she would only be getting about three hours of sleep, those three hours were filled with nightmares of her father. Because that's the way it was. He would always be there, no matter where she was, he would always haunt her.
"Ha!" she said to herself, "he won't be at Hogwarts so I'll be safe for a while. From him at least.." She whispered, and then dozed off into an uneasy sleep.
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BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! rang Hermione's alarm clock at 8:00 that morning. "Dammit," she said. "uhg, fucking school." She said while rolling over and shutting off her very annoyingly loud alarm clock. Surprisingly, she was in a very good mood that morning, all because she would be leaving the Hell-Hole that she called home. She didn't plan on returning either. Once she graduated, she would come home that night, pack all of her things up, and leave in the middle of the night. After Hermione had taken her shower gotten dressed in her usual black baggy jeans, tight black shirt, big black sweatshirt and colossal amounts of black make-up and chains and spikes, she headed downstairs to see her so-called parents.
"Good morning mother" she said happily, placing a kiss on her cheek.
"My goodness good morning dear!" said a very surprised Mrs. Granger, touching the spot on her cheek where her daughter had just kissed her for the first time in a whole year. Although she was so surprised, she figured it best not to address it in case it pissed her off.
"Don't I get a smooch?" asked her father.
"Umm....no" said Hermione sarcastically, grabbing her jacket off the hook.
"Can I ask where you're going dear?" asked her mother.
"Oh I'll be back in about a half hour, I'm just gonna go say goodbye to the gang."
"Alright, but be back before we leave for London, wouldn't want to miss you train, would you?"
"Of course I'll be back before you leave, I wouldn't miss the train for the world." She said, glaring at her father before walking out the door. Walking to her friend's house she took a moment to realize just how much she had changed that summer, not just body wise, but overall everything. She was now a smoking drug addict Goth rocker who could really care less about a lot of the shit she used to. Why am I like this all of a sudden? She wondered to herself. It's your goddamn father that's why. She answered her own question. Oh damn him! She thought aloud. If it weren't for him I would still be little goody two shoes me. "Wow, Harry, Ron and Ginny will freak. Come to think of it, the whole school will probably freak." She said aloud. Oh well.
"Promise you will write me like every week!" said Kelly to a departing Hermione.
"Yea, yea. I promise!" she said with a smile giving all of her friends one last hug. "Ok you guys I really gotta go now, I'll miss my train If I don't go!!"
"Bye!!" they all said to her, watching her turn around and run back down the five blocks to her house.
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At the station:
"Goodbye." She whispered in her mother's ear as she drew her in for a meaningful hug. "I'll write sometime!"
"Good bye sweet heart" said her father wrapping his arm around her and groping her. Nobody could have saw what they were doing, unless they really would have been looking, which he thought nobody was. Except a certain someone who was watching from afar, did see what happened, and he also saw the look of uneasiness in the girls eyes as he did this. But even if he could have acted, this person didn't. Not as of yet anyway. He watched as the girl parted from her parents and went straight through the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and onto platform nine-and-three-quarters
As Hermione really didn't feel like facing her friends quite yet, she hastily boarded the train and found an empty compartment. Soon after she got on, the train started moving, and Hermione was in dire need of a good smoke, so she dug around in the bag of 'goodies' her friends had given her and quickly found the cigarettes she was looking for. "Excellent" she said to herself as she lit one up. About a minute after she had started her cig, there was a knock on the door of her compartment. "Shit" she whispered. And put out her cigarette and did a quick charm to remove the smoke smell. "Come in." she said and stood up. She wasn't at all surprised to see that it was Malfoy and his cronies. "And you want what, exactly?" she asked cockily to a smirking Malfoy
"Why should I tell you? By the way who the hell are you? Do you not know that you don't smart off to a Malfoy? And if you are completely stupid, do you not know that I am a Malfoy?"
"I know exactly who you are," she said raising her head so they could see her face completely, "You're the cocky ass little Slitherin bastard that my friends and I have had to put up with for the past six years. They boy-who- has-everything. The-boy-who's-above-everyone. The-fucking-boy-who-has-so- much-goddamn-money-he-wipes-his-fucking-ass-with-it. Yes, I, unfortunately, know who you are."
"Granger?!" he managed to say through his shock.
"Yes, Granger. Poor, pathetic, bookworm, mudblood, Granger. But let me tell you something ass wipe,(ha ha see? I made a pun!lol.) I will not put up with you or your shit this year. Yes I have changed, and my attitude is included with that, so if you don't mind I would like to continue sitting here, undisturbed by your presence." She finished. Sitting down and pulling out her CD player, and started singing her favorite Evanescence song, Bring me to life.
Wake me up inside Call my name And save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become.
And Hermione got lost in the music as she frequently did, and she slowly fell asleep. She wouldn't be sleeping for long, because about and hour later, yet another bunch of people came bounding in the compartment. "Oh hey guys," she said groggily to the people she recognized as Ron, Harry, and Ginny. "What are you up to?"
"Um, not to sound completely lost, but, who are you?" asked Ron.
"Come on, you can't tell me you don't even recognize your own best friend when you see her!" She said standing up. The look on their faces when she stood up was the biggest Kodak moment she had ever seen or had the privilege to witness.
"Holy..
Hey ppl. This is a very interesting fic. It is my second stab at writing, so plz be nice! This story contains drug use and language, and also rape (not graphic), it is kind of a dark fic, but not. Anyway I hope you like! And Plz Plz (!) r&r!!!!!!!! Oh and flames are welcomed to feed the fire, (I guarantee I'll make an ass out of you)
Disclaimer: I own nothing from this fic! I wish I did but I don't. No matter how out of character the ppl may be, I don't own them!! Oh and any stores and/or bands mentioned, I don't own. Don't sue me. If you did that would be gay, so GET A LIFE!!! Ok anyway moving on....
Chapter one, Changes
"What the hell?! Not Again!! Fourth time this week!" cried Mrs. Granger almost to herself, as she looked at her sixteen year-old daughter passed out on the floor, with an empty veil and a syringe needle on the floor next to her. Doing what she had done so many times before that summer, Mrs. Granger picked up her daughters frail form and laid her on the bed and covered her with her comforter and then left her to wake. But like anyone else would have done, she picked up the empty veil and needle and pocketed it, in hopes that her efforts would stop her daughter's drug addictions.
Two hours later, around 1:30 pm, Hermione became conscious again and was feeling the worse part of the after-effects. "Oh my god, I feel like shit." She said to herself. After a while she got up and took a shower and then headed downstairs in only a black towel, to find her parents just about ready to walk out the door. "Where are you all off to in a hurry?"
"We are going to Diagon alley to pick up your school things. Aren't you aware that term starts tomorrow?" said her mother, almost lovingly.
"Ah fuck," said Mione, not caring that she swore in front of her mom, "Well in that case, I will be going out with Kelly tonight, I need to pick up a few...necessities" She said turning around and heading upstairs to get dressed.
"Alright but be back before dark" Her father called up the stairs behind her.
"Whatever, thanks for your genuine concern." She said sarcastically. Back in her room Hermione went to her dresser and pulled out first a midnight blue thong, and a black bra. Then she headed over to her closet and pulled out her favorite pair of pants from Hot Topic. They were of course, black, and in the back they had criss-crossing chains and they were super baggy. Perfect in her opinion. Then she pulled out a tight black shirt that came down far enough to show off her *ahem* stuff, and had a fireball with silver sparkles displayed on the front. And she also pulled out a huge black sweatshirt that said 'jnco' on the front. When she was fully dressed she went to her bedside and called up her friend. "Yo" she said. "Kelly there?" She asked carelessly.
"Yes, hold on" said a female voice.
"What up?" asked the sound of Hermione's best friend.
"You wanna crash Club Midnight girl? It's my last night before term, school starts tomorrow."
"Hell yea! I'll meet you at your place with the rest of the gang in a half hour. K?"
"See you then." She said and hung up. Meanwhile, while waiting for her friends she went over to her huge stereo and popped in Korn. "This is the shit" she said, while applying the last she had of her black eye shadow and eyeliner. When she was done with the makeup part of her wardrobe, she went into her bathroom and brushed out her now long and straight, jet black hair. Her favorite part about her hair was the cherry red tips.
"Lets go!!" Her friend screamed up the steps.
"Coming!" she said, grabbing her guitar and bounding down the steps. Running outside she put her guitar in the trunk of the black mustang, along with the rest of the bands equipment. Over the summer Hermione had learned to play guitar, and was very good. So when she met her new group of friends they put together a simple band, that later turned out to be the hottest thing in her town. They had even landed a few tracks on the radio. In her opinion, she liked to compare their band Firewalkers, to Evanescence, not heavy metal, but super hard rock. She jumped inside and said, "Where to first?"
"Well we could crash the mall. Our gig isn't till 7:00 and it's only 2:30." said Max.
"Yeah she's right, and I need to get a few things from Hot Topic." said Hermione.
As Hermione walked in through her front door at 4:00 in the morning, she didn't even bother to be quiet, because she knew that just like every other time, her father would be waiting for her. And where her father was, there was sure to be pain.
"Where have you been young lady?!" he screamed at her, an inch away from her face.
"I was out, like I said I would be." She said, getting a little afraid.
"Out?" he repeated grabbing her arms, "out?!" he shouted, thrusting her onto the couch. Hermione knew what was going to happen next, he would tell her how much he hated her, how much of a waste she was, and how much of a whore she was. And then, as if routine, he would rape her. And like every other time before Hermione would lay there, emotionless until he was done, and when he left she would go to her room and cry. Yes, she would cry. Nobody had ever seen her cry, she wouldn't let her guard down like that, but oh, did she cry.
"I hope you had fun, I know I did." He said. That was his trademark saying. Every time he was done he would say this. And before he turned around to leave he turned back to her and possessively and quite painfully put his mouth onto hers, shoving his tongue to the very depths of her mouth, tasting every last bit of her. Then he turned and left. When she was sure that he had gone, she slowly made her way up to her room and into her bathroom. She turned on the shower and first stood there in the freezing water thinking of why she kept letting this happen. And then she suddenly felt extremely dirty for not stopping him ever and wanted to be cleansed of his dirty self. So she then turned on the water to scalding hot as if trying to cleanse her very soul. And she stood there like that until she was sure to pass out. She then got dressed in her usual black boxers and black wife beater. And she knew what she was going to do next; she would sit on the edge of her bed, pull open her drawer and draw out her razor blade. She slit her wrist every time he raped her, and she now had quite a collection of scars. She slowly cut her wrist watching the blood come oozing out like water from a built up faucet. She then went over the slice a few more times, making sure it would stay there for a good long week or two. She then grabbed a black hoodie, pulled it over her head and quickly set her alarm. Even though she would only be getting about three hours of sleep, those three hours were filled with nightmares of her father. Because that's the way it was. He would always be there, no matter where she was, he would always haunt her.
"Ha!" she said to herself, "he won't be at Hogwarts so I'll be safe for a while. From him at least.." She whispered, and then dozed off into an uneasy sleep.
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BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! rang Hermione's alarm clock at 8:00 that morning. "Dammit," she said. "uhg, fucking school." She said while rolling over and shutting off her very annoyingly loud alarm clock. Surprisingly, she was in a very good mood that morning, all because she would be leaving the Hell-Hole that she called home. She didn't plan on returning either. Once she graduated, she would come home that night, pack all of her things up, and leave in the middle of the night. After Hermione had taken her shower gotten dressed in her usual black baggy jeans, tight black shirt, big black sweatshirt and colossal amounts of black make-up and chains and spikes, she headed downstairs to see her so-called parents.
"Good morning mother" she said happily, placing a kiss on her cheek.
"My goodness good morning dear!" said a very surprised Mrs. Granger, touching the spot on her cheek where her daughter had just kissed her for the first time in a whole year. Although she was so surprised, she figured it best not to address it in case it pissed her off.
"Don't I get a smooch?" asked her father.
"Umm....no" said Hermione sarcastically, grabbing her jacket off the hook.
"Can I ask where you're going dear?" asked her mother.
"Oh I'll be back in about a half hour, I'm just gonna go say goodbye to the gang."
"Alright, but be back before we leave for London, wouldn't want to miss you train, would you?"
"Of course I'll be back before you leave, I wouldn't miss the train for the world." She said, glaring at her father before walking out the door. Walking to her friend's house she took a moment to realize just how much she had changed that summer, not just body wise, but overall everything. She was now a smoking drug addict Goth rocker who could really care less about a lot of the shit she used to. Why am I like this all of a sudden? She wondered to herself. It's your goddamn father that's why. She answered her own question. Oh damn him! She thought aloud. If it weren't for him I would still be little goody two shoes me. "Wow, Harry, Ron and Ginny will freak. Come to think of it, the whole school will probably freak." She said aloud. Oh well.
"Promise you will write me like every week!" said Kelly to a departing Hermione.
"Yea, yea. I promise!" she said with a smile giving all of her friends one last hug. "Ok you guys I really gotta go now, I'll miss my train If I don't go!!"
"Bye!!" they all said to her, watching her turn around and run back down the five blocks to her house.
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At the station:
"Goodbye." She whispered in her mother's ear as she drew her in for a meaningful hug. "I'll write sometime!"
"Good bye sweet heart" said her father wrapping his arm around her and groping her. Nobody could have saw what they were doing, unless they really would have been looking, which he thought nobody was. Except a certain someone who was watching from afar, did see what happened, and he also saw the look of uneasiness in the girls eyes as he did this. But even if he could have acted, this person didn't. Not as of yet anyway. He watched as the girl parted from her parents and went straight through the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and onto platform nine-and-three-quarters
As Hermione really didn't feel like facing her friends quite yet, she hastily boarded the train and found an empty compartment. Soon after she got on, the train started moving, and Hermione was in dire need of a good smoke, so she dug around in the bag of 'goodies' her friends had given her and quickly found the cigarettes she was looking for. "Excellent" she said to herself as she lit one up. About a minute after she had started her cig, there was a knock on the door of her compartment. "Shit" she whispered. And put out her cigarette and did a quick charm to remove the smoke smell. "Come in." she said and stood up. She wasn't at all surprised to see that it was Malfoy and his cronies. "And you want what, exactly?" she asked cockily to a smirking Malfoy
"Why should I tell you? By the way who the hell are you? Do you not know that you don't smart off to a Malfoy? And if you are completely stupid, do you not know that I am a Malfoy?"
"I know exactly who you are," she said raising her head so they could see her face completely, "You're the cocky ass little Slitherin bastard that my friends and I have had to put up with for the past six years. They boy-who- has-everything. The-boy-who's-above-everyone. The-fucking-boy-who-has-so- much-goddamn-money-he-wipes-his-fucking-ass-with-it. Yes, I, unfortunately, know who you are."
"Granger?!" he managed to say through his shock.
"Yes, Granger. Poor, pathetic, bookworm, mudblood, Granger. But let me tell you something ass wipe,(ha ha see? I made a pun!lol.) I will not put up with you or your shit this year. Yes I have changed, and my attitude is included with that, so if you don't mind I would like to continue sitting here, undisturbed by your presence." She finished. Sitting down and pulling out her CD player, and started singing her favorite Evanescence song, Bring me to life.
Wake me up inside Call my name And save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become.
And Hermione got lost in the music as she frequently did, and she slowly fell asleep. She wouldn't be sleeping for long, because about and hour later, yet another bunch of people came bounding in the compartment. "Oh hey guys," she said groggily to the people she recognized as Ron, Harry, and Ginny. "What are you up to?"
"Um, not to sound completely lost, but, who are you?" asked Ron.
"Come on, you can't tell me you don't even recognize your own best friend when you see her!" She said standing up. The look on their faces when she stood up was the biggest Kodak moment she had ever seen or had the privilege to witness.
"Holy..