Joy, Scars, Forever (Part 1)

by R.C. Cummings

The behind the scene of what happens when Emily Prentiss meets up with her total past. (This is a cross over to a degree with Rizzoli & Isles) A sequel to Joy, Scars, Family (Part 4)

*Just a reminder this is a sequel to Joy, Scars, Family (Part 4)

*Okay as always I own nothing of Criminal Minds or Rizzoli & Isles just enjoying using the characters.

Chapter One

Maura sat in the big chair by Emily's bed. She had been there for two days already watching the woman sleeping a thousand nights it seemed. The Ambassador postponed the celebration until everyone came back in two weeks to finalize the whole second contract issue.

Penelope would be returning on Wednesday with Rossi. She wanted to see what Xandy was setting up from the Interpol side of the computer systems but Maura had a suspicion the woman was just as concerned about Emily as she was.

Maura smiled as she remembered Jane trying to get her to leave Emily's bedside for air. She knew her best friend was just as worried about her but she couldn't leave this woman. She had to fight this time to keep her.

She was tired of watching the women she cared so much about with IV's in their arms but at least this time it wasn't in a hospital fighting death just exhaustion. Emily had pushed her body almost to breaking with the lack of sleep and dehydration.

If that had been Jane she would have been angry and torn into her but Emily hadn't done it out of self-torment like Jane did to herself. No it was because Emily knew she had to be aware every moment to keep team two safe and alive.

She looked at the woman that totally captured her heart from her youth. She knew that it was going to be a journey to bring her back from all the darkness and from the ghost she had told her that held all the keys.

They had gotten Emily back up to her room before Hotch had started the second part of the debriefing. Dr. Kate took over care so everyone could go back and hear about Emily's plans

of starting her own consulting inter agency. Raphael, Xandy, and Penelope had already said yes and signed the second contract. She imagined Emily approached them first since it would take a lot of set up tech wise at the start of it. She loved that Emily was planning on staying in Boston even though she knew that she would have gone anywhere the woman wanted her to go, this also seemed to quiet down Jane's fears of losing her best friend.

Wiping at the tears that flowed from how loved she felt by Emily. She remembered what the woman had said about "aching for her" when she had come back to the states. She remembered the same ache of her own in France when she had empty arms too.

Now her arms were full but it seemed she was holding a shadow shell of the woman she loved. She knew on the airplane over from London that there were going to be issues to resolve due to the trauma of the rape but it seems like a whole lot more was going to have to be dealt with now that the ghosts of Emily's past were involved as well.

Jennifer proved that she was going to take care of the issues with the B.A.U. team when she stood head to toe with Morgan and Spencer with their trust issues. She was proud of the young woman who stood her ground when she was accused of infidelity and many other indiscretions. She defended Emily's secretive nature and Maura was actually impressed how Penelope and Jane came and rallied around her in protection as well. She smiled as she realized that the five of them had truly become a family loving and protecting each other.

As she thought on everything she also remembered that Pearl, Clyde, Jaclyn, Hotchner, and Rossi just signed the papers too not bothering waiting two weeks. They didn't even need to think twice about it. "You make families everywhere you go my love." She said out loud as the thought hit her.

XXXXX

(One Day Earlier)

The jet was cleared for takeoff. It had been a grueling three weeks and the team was in need of these two weeks off that the Director had given them before they had to return to Boston for another week to help with the setup of Emily's agency.

Hotch had already told them that they only had one meeting to attend on Monday and that it was a mandatory one. He was going to get out in front of any hurt feelings once and for all because he knew for the team to survive they would all have to sign the second contract. He understood that Morgan and Reid felt betrayed for not being in the loop but there were things that they were not cleared to know. He had already noticed it wasn't as bad as when Emily returned from the dead which was a good sign he hoped.

Emily had made such a good plan and had organized it so well he was impressed. She even had it down to how they would get paid working for two agencies. He knew that things would have to be ironed out as they came up but for the most part her plan was solid.

After they were up in the air he went to get a refill of coffee from the back passing by JJ who was sitting in the back away from everyone trying to give the guys space after their heated conversation during the meeting yesterday.

"Would you like some coffee?" He asked her.

"No thank you Hotch."

He sat down worried because she never refused coffee. "Are you okay JJ?"

"I'm fine Hotch. I'm just really tired physically and mentally."

"I understand if there is anything you need."

"Thank you I'm fine and the team will be fine after we get sleep and cooler heads. Stop worrying."

"I can't its part of my job."

They both smiled as he left to get his coffee.

"Can I sit for a moment?" Garcia said smiling at her best friend.

"Yes as long as you do not ask too many question." She said knowing the look on her friends face.

"You know I love you and I would never judge you JJ and I'm sorry that my hunk of chocolate love threw your love of Emily under the bus then ran over it and threw it back up in your face."

"It's okay Pen I know it's not your opinion. It's really not his either. He is feeling betrayed. I guess all of the team should because I promised no more secrets and Emily's and my relationship was a huge one."

"Yeah… but it was your personal life."

"That did affect our work life Pen."

"Anyway… what are you going to do about Will now and do not tell me you and the brunette princess didn't roll in the hay after that searing kiss you gave her at the airport. You were too relaxed when we met at the hotel for you not to have been in an afterglow of Emily's popcorn affect that by the way you never explained."

"You are bad… and I will never explain Maura's statement no matter how true it is."

"Fine just leave a girl in envy and wonderment but what about Will?"

"Will…knows about us to the extent that he wants too. We talked some before Maura and I left for the mission. I will let him brioche the subject as he feels the need too."

"Are you going to leave him and what about Maura?"

"Pen… Emily and my relationship is different. I need her in my life and there are moments that I think I will freeze and become a rock statue if I do not have her hands touching my skin. She rescues me from an abyss world of cold and darkness.

When I stepped off that plane and saw her I couldn't stop what happened. I was frost bitten and her lips were a bon fire that melted me back to reality."

"Damn… I figured the woman could kiss with those pouty lips but who knew they held magic."

"They are for me Pen and I can't let them go again. I do not understand it all but Maura and Emily understand love on totally different plain than we understand it. I know that I have no desire to steal Emily from Maura for my own just like Emily never tried to steal me from Will or she would never steal Maura from Jane. I do imagine though there would be issues if Maura and Jane started a physical relationship."

"That seems like a double standard."

"No it's not… Jane and Emily are both alpha females in areas. I believe if Jane was to realize her feelings she would have to have the total package and that isn't going to happen. I believe Maura has already laid the path of truth in front of Jane letting her know that Emily isn't going anywhere anymore."

"Doesn't that make Jane nervous?"

"I'm sure it does but Maura is totally… all out… in love with Emily and she will have to accept it just like Will has to accept mine and Emily's friendship."

"Are you in love with Emily?"

"Yes but not in the way Maura is. I can't explain it. I guess Emily and Maura's way of explaining it fits best. Emily is my lifetime Warrior mate; we know what each other needs and are willing to give it to each other even to the point of our lives. Will is my mate and I love him but it's different."

"Maura is Emily's soul mate, doesn't that make you jealous?"

"No not now… those two complete each other so much and when Emily is complete she is amazing. They are really right that sex isn't a part of them being soul mates. They hadn't slept together when we started our sexual journey in Paris."

"Really JJ… you believe they hadn't done the horizontal tango before that… with the way those two looked at each other and touched each other? Please…"

"Actually I would've said no at one point but you could've said the same thing about me and Emily after Boston and nothing happened until Paris plus I hadn't seen a hickey on Maura until right before our trip."

"Wasn't that a Dirt Devil special on her neck? I didn't get to really enjoy it as much as I wanted to with Emily's Glock pointed at my head. You never had one of those from our brooding vampire princess… because I would've noticed it. You couldn't have covered something like that up easily."

"Yeah… seems it is an Emily thing that she does to Maura in her sleep. She has never even come close to putting a hickey on me. "

"Lucky woman… there's nothing like a good hickey… in the right place of course."

"You are bad… now go away I want to get some sleep before we land in D.C."

"Okay Gabriel."

"Gabriel?"

"Yes… Emily is the brunette Warrior Princess and you are her warrior mate Gabriel."

"Go away Pen… I love you but never use that analogy again especially around Emily for your own sake."

"I'm not afraid of Xena…"

JJ looked at her friend with a "oh really look."

"Okay maybe a little when she has her gun."

They laughed as Pen got up to go and straighten out her male god on trusting Emily and signing the contract.

Chapter Two

Maura was writing in her journal sitting by Emily's bed when the brunette opened her eyes and turned and watched the woman writing away and pondering something in deep reverence.

"I love you."

Maura smiled even before looking up from her musings.

"I love you too pretty girl."

"I'm sorry…"

"Shhh… no apologies necessary"

"I'm afraid that I will awake and find that I'm just dreaming in a dream and you will disappear when I really wake up."

"I'm here love and I am very much real." She said as she leaned over and kissed Emily's forehead.

"You sure you are real because my habibiy would know that I needed her lips on mine?"

"Yes she would but this one is going to help you to the bathroom and then you are going to brush your teeth because you have been asleep for over twenty-four hours."

"Wow… that's why I feel drugged."

"No… you feel drugged because we have kept you that way so you could rest."

"Maura…"

"No Maura… You had to rest before you and the baby's life became endangered."

Emily reached for her stomach. "Is she okay?"

"She is fine and how did you know she is a girl? Dr. Kate just did an ultra sound this morning while you were sleeping."

"I dreamed about her. She is going to have a head full of black hair and dark eyes if my dream is true."

"She sounds gorgeous like her mother."

"Maura… I haven't really processed all of this but I know one thing… I want her to be our daughter. I do not want to think of her conception. I just want to think how she brought us together which makes her ours. I want her to only know that we want her and love her.

I want us to talk to Chessie soon about our marriage. She needs to know. Declan I'm sure will be okay with it. I want the whole world to know I love you but I want to give you this out first..."

"Emily… I do not want out."

"Shhh…Listen I'm not well in my head and I can't promise you I will ever be right. It is affecting my ability to be touched. I'm able to touch you but to receive your touch I can't… I can't promise that it will straighten out in time either."

"Emily… I already told you that we will walk through this together. You need to talk to someone."

"I can't Maura."

"You can't or won't?"

"I already know where they are going and my mind shoots up defenses. I am a spy, assassin, and a profiler I know psychology inside out."

"Point taken but you have to talk about it to someone."

"I've started talking to Sister Kate some since she's been here but it's so much that it shuts me down and with these new pop up hormones in the mix I'm a basket case. I'm not sure of anything anymore except that I want you in my life forever. "

"I know love… I feel the same way… I want you in my life forever too maybe we should start slowly by meditating with each other first maybe that will open you up more."

"Agreed but can we do that after I pee… I'm about to bust."

Maura laughed… "Come on you have to have an amazing bladder. I've never known anyone to hold it as long as you."

"Comes in handy when you are in the field"

"I get that actually."

They both laughed.

XXXXX

Jane walked into the bullpen grateful to be back in her area of expertise. She still wasn't sure about becoming a Federal Cop even though it would be alongside her present job. It would be extra money and she did like the idea of being assign to Maura as a personal body guard because she didn't like the idea of anyone else having the job.

"Hello you, welcome back to where the common folks live."

"Hey Korsack it's good to be back."

"Not liking the big leagues I take it?"

"Too many secrets and players"

"Oh… Dr. Isles back too?"

"Not yet Emily is having some health issues and she won't leave her bedside."

"Great then it's going to be Dr. Pike again if we get called out."

"She is out another week so yeah it will be him… lucky us."

"Well at least she is getting some rest too. She was gone for a long time."

"Yes she was and that's all I can say they have Title 18 me."

"Ouch…I kind of thought something like that was going to happen when the Feds took custody of Dix"

"Yeah… it was a complicated mess. I must give Emily a tip of my cap though she is really a master mind and get this she knew we called about her and everything happening. She is amazing."

"Is this you finally accepting her as Maura's wife?"

"I guess I am. They sure love each other. It's almost sickening sweet. Like too much maple syrup on your pancakes sweet.

"Janie you can never have too much syrup on pancakes." Frankie said as he came into the middle of the conversation.

"Yes you can."

"Why are we talking about pancakes? Are we going to breakfast?"

"No… Jane was just telling me that Maura and Emily's love for each other is almost too sweet."

"Oh yeah… have to agree with you on that one. I would never look into a woman's eyes like they do."

"No because you can't tear your eyes off her boobs or ass long enough to find her eyes." Jane said laughing with Korsak.

"Funny Jane"

"Do we have anything going on right now?"

"No just paperwork and old cases," Korsak said with a sigh towards Jane.

"Well maybe a slow day is good to get back into the swing of things."

Chapter Three

It was noon before Maura got back to her journal. Emily had actually had an appetite for a change and kept the food on her stomach but couldn't hold her eyes open after eating and went back to sleep after Maura reassured her she would be there when she woke up.

It seems that Emily has four distinct personas. Today after several hours of rest it seems to be the Emily I remember and love. She sees the whole picture and is aware of her physical and mental state of being.

Persona one: Emily as I know her warm and caring.

Persona two: Emily as a spy, secretive none trusting. (Lauren Reynolds)

Persona three: Emily as an assassin, cold and detached. (Michelle)

Persona four: Emily as a profiler, fragmented mixture of all three and not sure who to be.

I must look at your past love and piece it together. I hate having to do this but it's the only way I can think of to help you through the darkness.

What I know:

Emily's father died before she was born.

She learned her role as an Ambassador's daughter not the love of a mother.

She wanted acceptance as a teenager and got date raped (which she still doesn't acknowledge) which got her pregnant.

She had an abortion at 15 and then lost her best friend Matthew because of it. (Who used drugs and died within the last ten years)

She and I found each other and she found herself until she was forced to leave me for fear of my safety. (She also met Sister Kate who loved and lost her love Adeline)

She was lost and hurting until she was shown an outlet by the driver Cecil in sharp shooting. (It gave her a purpose.)

She went to Yale and met Carolina who she loved and was killed because of that love.

Oh…Emily are you afraid I will be taken from you again if you allow my love to touch you? I see a pattern here, when you love you have lost every time.

She came to find me and I was engaged so she went into the F.B.I then moved to the C.I.A where she learned the art of being a spy.

(Here has to be where the fracturing off into boxes had to have started. Living as Lauren Reynolds no one she loved would be hurt and that turned out to be a myth.)

(Yet even amidst of that she still found time to save people like Jaclyn and Z-man so Emily was still living below the surface of Lauren.)

Then she got moved over to Interpol as an assassin.

(This is where the total fracture took place as Michelle I'm sure. This is also where her full education of human behavior manifested. Yet she still had Emily below the surface protecting me by protecting Ian.)

Love you lived a play of sorts with different roles and sets of rules for each. What you didn't realize though is your true self was still there experiencing all the horridness of the situations.

You played the game that molested children play of being present in body but not mentally which you disassociated from your emotions making you not there. Not that I blame you for doing so because the little I saw made me want to as well.

I imagine that worked as long as you stayed in the role of the day but now all the fractions are meeting in one place and it is over whelming you and shutting you down.

I also theorize your time at the B.A.U. started the boxes opening because your team was getting to Emily yet parts of Lauren Reynolds and Michelle were still a part of you without you realizing they were bleeding into each other.

But the trigger for what is happening now is the death of Kia and everything it has brought to light about your past.

XXXXX

Jane came into Emily's bedroom with a cup of Chia tea for Maura. She smiled as she saw her curled up in the big chair by Emily's bed with her journal across her chest sleeping. She stopped and looked at the both of them and it really dawned on her that the two completed each other and it didn't take away anything from her and Maura's friendship because she knew Maura would be in that chair if it was her in the bed and not Emily. There was no doubt of that.

"When did you get here?" Maura whispered to Jane.

"Just a few moments ago, I brought you some of your favorite tea."

She took it and drank a mouthful. "Mmm… thank you Jane that is just what I needed."

"How is she?"

"She woke up this morning and ate something solid for the first time and then fell back to sleep."

"She is just plain worn out."

"Yes she is. A normal person would be after what she put her body through but throw in the pregnancy with it and well it almost got her really sick."

"She's strong Maura she will get better."

"I know she will physically but I'm still concerned about her emotionally."

"As a cop I have dealt with a few rape victims and none of them handle things the same."

"I realize that but I think she is dealing with a whole lot more than just the rape."

"She did lose her wife. Did you see the reaction she had when Holly made that comment about her death not meaning anything since you were in the picture?"

"I did. That reaction was from sheer pain. She loved Kia and thought she could finally have a family of her own and that dream was taken from her."

"But she has gotten it back with you who she is in love with though."

"Yes she has but that fact puts guilt on top of grief. Dear god that's it!"

"What?"

"Thank you Jane."

"For what"

"For helping me figure out the puzzle."

"You are welcome I think? Maura… How do you feel about all of this?"

"Jane I am okay with it so much so that I want to adopt Chessie if she is willing after Emily and I are married. Kia will always be her mother but Emily and I will be her parents."

"You are a mystery Dr. Isles but that's what I love about you."

"I see it's time for the evening meeting." Dr. Kate said as she came in the bedroom.

"Yes and your patient has been very good today she ate solid food and slept without another sedative. Her blood pressure is normal and her mood a lot better."

"That is excellent news and how is her soul?"

"I am better as well thank you for asking."

"When was the last time you have left this room and gotten air and ate a good meal yourself?"

"It is going on three days now." Jane answered before Maura could blow the question off.

"I suggest you take Dr. Isles to her house so she can shower and order Indian food so she can have a break."

"I like that idea doc."

"What about Emily?" Maura asked concerned.

"I will stay and watch over her because I'm afraid I'll be watching over you too if you don't."

"I can't ask you to do that you just did a ten hour hospital shift."

"Go I will sleep in this chair just as good as you have been."

"I would love a bath and I do need to call Jennifer and update her, thank you Dr. Kate for your wonderful care."

"Thank me now curse me later when the bill comes."

They all laughed but Maura went and hugged the woman with gratitude for her care.

Chapter Four

JJ loved having the week off with Will and Henry. It almost felt like a normal routine again but after the mandatory meeting on Monday she knew she was going to have to address the Emily issue with Will before one of the team started talking to him thinking he was aware of the full details.

This past week away from Emily with only daily calls from Maura to update her on the woman's condition gave her space to clear her head and examine all that took place over the last month and she realized what she had said to Pen on the jet back to D.C. was true… she was in love with Emily.

She put herself through a strenuous questions and answers session with questions like, "If you are in love with someone don't you need them in your life daily?"

Answering herself, "Emily is in my thoughts daily even when I wasn't talking to her I would wonder what she was doing or would do in a given situation."

She almost drove herself crazy until she decided that her plan to just go with the truth was the best answer she had but it wasn't going to help answer Will's questions.

Then she almost allowed herself to get into fear by asking questions like she did when Emily came back from Paris. "What if he doesn't understand and tries to take Henry from me?" Then she stopped herself after realizing that Emily would never let that happen or Maura for that matter. She knew that both women would protect her from anything they could.

She came to the conclusion that it was easy to live two different lives but that it wasn't fair to any of them. He needed to know and tonight was going to be the come to Jesus meeting she dreaded. She picked up her cell phone and called Spence hoping he would watch Henry since Pen had already returned to Boston with Rossi.

XXXXX

Chessie and Maura were in heaven at the science museum while Emily and Jane were just trying to keep pace with the curious brains of doctor and child. The four year old was

disappointed when the trip had been canceled because of Emily's health but was now making up for lost time.

"I give up habibiy. I'm going to wait right here with Jane so I do not slow you two down."

"We will be right back love. She just wants to see the exhibit of moon rocks."

"That's great take her I just can't do those stairs again."

"They have an elevator madre." Chessie said adding her two cents worth.

"I tell you what sprog you go with Maura and I will find us a great place for lunch… deal?"

"Deal" She said as Maura took her hand and they headed for the stairs.

"You will make a great Italian mother." Jane said laughing.

"That will be hard since I'm not Italian?"

"It's not too hard to become Italian just keep grandchildren in my mother's life and she will adopt you plus you're a natural at the bribery thing."

"That's bad Jane."

"Truth hurts." Jane said laughing.

Emily shook her head at the statement and smiled, "Thank you for coming with us she really wanted you to come."

"She's a great kid. Have you two talked with her about your marriage yet?"

"No I'm planning on it at lunch if I can get a word in between the two geniuses."

"Good luck with that one. Do you need me to back out of lunch so you can talk?"

"No… we actually need you there. We have something to discuss with you as well."

"Okay." Jane said puzzled.

"Now where shall we do lunch at because Maura will pick healthy and I'm thinking big and greasy."

"Now you are talking, how about cheese burgers and fries?"

"We make great partners in crime Rizzoli just remember we have to stand firm or she will puppy dog eye us or even worse the first name school teacher correction look."

"Oh… this is the beginning of a true friendship I can see." Jane smiled realizing that Emily might be a great ally against Maura's leafy green salads while she was pregnant.

XXXXX

Will walked into a dimly lit house as JJ came out of the kitchen. She had heard his car pull up to the curb and wanted to catch him at the door with a kiss. She knew she was being dramatic but she needed his ego to be in a good atmosphere for the news she was going to share with him tonight.

"Candle light and a kiss at the door your mother moving in with us Cheri?"

She swatted him on the arm, "Can't we just enjoy a romantic evening?"

"That sounds nice but I smell something fishy in your waters. I love you JJ and romantic is when we have a talk ahead."

"Okay smarty I do have something I need to talk to you about…"

"When is she moving in?" He asked laughing trying to easy some of the tension in his stomach.

"My mother is not moving with us. I just have something to talk to you about that I hope is okay with you or at least will be."

"Okay let's talk or I will never be able to swallow a bite of that great smelling dinner you have prepared."

"Do you want a beer or a glass of wine?"

"No."

"Okay… you sit on the couch and I will be right back. I need to go and turn the oven to warm so dinner doesn't burn."

He walked over to the couch and she disappeared into the kitchen where her glass of wine was on the table. She turned the oven down and took a gulp of courage and went back into the living room where he was waiting.

"Will…" she started as she sat down beside him, "these last few weeks have opened my eyes to something about me that I have tried to deny and shut out but I can't do it anymore. I really do not want too."

"Are you leaving me JJ?"

"What… No… god no Will. I love you."

"But…"

"No buts." It came to her how to explain it finally. "I love you and we have a close relationship as husband and wife and I cherish that. I cherish our son and being a family and normally with other people that is where it all stops.

I have found with me however my love extends to include another as well. Not as a mate but as a partner…"

"What are you saying JJ… just say it to me in English."

JJ closed her eyes and took in a deep breath hoping that would be enough air to get her stomach out of her throat.

"Will… there is something that happened before we got married that I have to tell you. I thought I could just put it in a box and just look at it on a rainy day and it would never affect my life again but I was so wrong…"

"Sure sounds like you are leaving me JJ." He said in a small voice with fear and with a low level of anger mixed in.

"Just hear me out and I will try to explain this as best I can." She said taking his hand so he could feel the honesty and comfort of what she was saying.

"Okay."

"I love you Will… I know you have sacrificed your home and job to make us a family. I know it's hard on you at times with my hours and I am so grateful to you for that. You are an amazing man and even now you are willing to listen to me. I want you to know I am not oblivious to what this has cost you."

She paused making sure he felt the weight of what she was saying.

"With that said… When I went to Iraq I saw so much and it was so barbaric I had to go into a shell of numbness just to be able to live there. I was away from you and Henry. I was separated from my team… I had no one to talk with who understood and even if I did I couldn't because of security.

Then I get the call that Emily was missing and they pulled me from the abyss of Iraq back into a previous life where I was with people I loved and wanted to talk too but couldn't. My life was a lie and I found out that Emily's past was just as much a lie as mine was at the moment.

When we went to Paris we connected in a way I have never connected with anyone in the world before because I could tell her all my secrets. She was technically dead so I wasn't betraying anyone or thing.

We became lovers in Paris for those few days. She reached in and touched all the darkness that no one has been able to reach. She still does and I can't explain it because I've been racking my brain with all the questions you might ask me and none of my answers make sense to my physical ears but they do to my heart.

All I can tell you is I do not want to leave you and I'm not looking at Emily to replace you I just can't promise that I will not ever need her to reach in and light the darkness in me again. I realize you want to be that person and you do in other ways that she can't like being my mate. I just can't deny it all anymore not after all I been through this month."

"JJ… I…" He was speechless.

"Take you time Will."

"When you said, "She was a part of you" at the hotel before you left you really meant it."

"Yes I did."

"She is getting married."

"Yes she is in March."

"I'm confused JJ… I'm trying to understand… your bi-sexual now or gay or what?"

"I guess if you are labeling love then yes I am bi-sexual and I know that wasn't in the picture when we got married but you already suspected it since you were worried about Emily."

"I was worried about her not you!" He said becoming irritated.

"I know this is over whelming for you but do not yell at me. I will not allow that."

"You won't allow it… you just sit there and tell me that you need another person in your life along with me and I'm supposed to talk about it like a business deal? I can't think… I'm so pissed at you… I need air."

"Where are you going?"

"OUT"

Chapter Five

The jet landed in D.C. at 1am where a car service picked up Maura, Emily, Jaclyn and Raphy and took them to the hotel where they checked in. Emily wasn't about to heed all the warnings of flying knowing JJ was in pain. There was no stopping her when all her phone calls went directly to voicemail. She had warned JJ about telling Will before the mission and had no idea she was planning on telling him so soon about everything.

Maura was beating herself up a bit thinking she should have seen it coming given everything that was said in the debriefing. She imagined Jennifer was afraid that Morgan or Spencer would say something to Will and wanted to get out in front of it.

Pen had been on the phone with JJ when Emily and Maura had come in with Chessie from the museum. She had heard bits and pieces and took the phone from Garcia. She tried to comfort her after she heard the tears in JJ's voice but was hung up on.

Emily told Garcia to call her back and not to worry she was heading to D.C. but not to tell JJ. Pen did exactly what she was told and tried to console her best friend as much as possible.

After only being in their room for less than ten minutes Emily felt the need to go and check on JJ. "I'm heading over to Jennifer's."

"I know…do you want me to come with you?" Maura asked concernedly.

"No…I need to do this. I will call you soon though."

"Go she needs you I understand that but take Jaclyn and Raphy with you."

"I don't need them with me."

"Yes you do because that is the only way you are leaving this hotel room." She said with a smile on her face but determination in her eyes.

"I love you Maura Isles." Emily said as she engulfed the woman in her arms and kissed her slowly and with a purpose of conveying the love in her heart.

"I love you too… go and please remember you are pregnant if he is there. That's why I want them to go with you."

"I will be fine love but I will take them with me to ease your mind. I have put you through enough worry lately."

"Thank you… habibiy."

XXXXX

Jane and Pen had gone to the Dirty Robber after the jet took off with the gang.

"Pen stop worrying JJ will be okay."

"Jane you didn't hear her."

"Emily will get there and straighten everything out."

They both stopped and looked at each other and busted out laughing.

"Really Jane… straighten out… "

"You know what I meant."

"I know… what a mess."

"Look I hate to admit this but they made me understand it kind of… well I guess… or they made it grow on me… whatever."

"I get what you mean. Emily has always been a mystery and now that I know more about her she is still a mystery that keeps evolving into another one."

"Maura was always straight forward for the most part until Ian showed up."

"Who's Ian?"

"A guy she did volunteer work with in Ethiopia. She said he was the love of her life. We called Interpol after ma found three passports in his bag. She was snooping because Maura was being all secretive about him. He was wanted for questioning by them."

"I bet… Emily was probably chopping at the bit."

"You would think so but Maura has told me that Emily was protecting her during that time through Z-man and that she was aware of Ian. She thinks Emily even protected Ian because of her."

"Wow… Emily is full of surprises."

"I truly believe she loves Maura so much that she was willing to let Maura love whomever she needed too. I believe she felt like she wasn't worthy of Maura's love once she became what she became but used it to protect her throughout her life."

"Yep that sounds like our brooding princess."

"I get the princess part but why the brooding?"

"You never saw Emily before Maura or ever watched her pining away after JJ."

"No… all I've ever seen is the day dream look or I'm going to kick your ass look."

"Well the kick your ass look you brought on yourself missy but Maura does make her smile I'll give you that one."

"You think she will kick JJ's husband's ass?"

"Maura won't let her that's why she took Jaclyn and Raphy so they could." She said laughing.

"Emily is one dangerous machine that's for sure."

"Let's get back to the Ambassador's house they should be landing in about an hour and I want to be ready if called upon."

"What can you do hundreds of miles away?"

"Oh…. I have skills that you have no earthly idea of."

Jane laughed and decided to leave that one alone because the more she asked the more it seemed she was in a Twilight Zone episode that got stranger by the minute.

XXXXX

Emily, Jaclyn and Raphy arrived at JJ's around two am. They noticed the lights were still on in the house and could hear loud voices.

Emily called Pen.

"The worried goddess of all knowledge at your service"

"Pen…Check the D.C. police and see if there has been any complaints lodged against JJ's house for noise."

"One moment while I… no Emily no complaints yet. What's going on?"

"Can't talk right now but I'll call you back."

She didn't want to have to explain their presence to the D.C. police.

"Jaclyn you go around back and go in through the kitchen. Raphy flank me I'm going in the front."

Emily wasn't about to wait for any escalation for it sounded as if the argument had already done that about two or three time already before they had gotten there. She was surprised that the neighbors hadn't called the police on them yet. She hoped that Henry was with a sitter because there was no way he would be able to sleep through the yelling.

She gave Jaclyn five minutes to get around back and pick the lock before she picked the front lock and went in the door. JJ had her back to Emily but Will saw her coming in.

"What's your whore doing here? I knew she was trying to change you years ago… bitch." The last name was directed towards Emily.

"Emily… what are you doing here?"

"Well I couldn't seem to get good cell reception in Boston and I really needed to talk to the both of you."

"We have nothing to say to you so go back where you came from. JJ is mine!"

"Will…"

"No Jennifer… Will is right you are his wife and I'm not here to challenge that."

Her answer took him by surprise. "Then what are you here for?"

"As I said I am here to talk with the both of you however I see that now isn't a good time for you Will to talk so JJ and I are going to go back to the hotel where my wife is and Jaclyn and Raphy are going to stay with you so you can sleep your Gentleman Jack off."

"She isn't going anywhere with you!"

He started towards JJ but was suddenly stopped by the Glock to his head that Jaclyn had placed there; Raphy came into the living room from the porch once he heard his name.

"As Emily was saying William she will be leaving with JJ while Jaclyn and I stay here and make sure you rest for the conversation between the four of you at brunch tomorrow." Raphy said as he reached Emily's side.

"Jennifer do you need anything for the hotel?"

"Emily…"

"No Emily… Maura is waiting and you both need rest. Things can be settled after a good night's sleep."

"I'll go get my go bag out of the car and we can go."

"You're not…"

"Go ahead Gentleman Jack give me a reason to put you out for the rest of the night." Jaclyn said with a steely voice.

JJ turned and looked at her red faced husband with the Glock at his head. "Will… do not resist these people you are no match for them. They have been trained by the best."

"Yeah… who"

Raphy and Jaclyn both said at the same time, "Emily."

Emily smiled at the compliment, "Will… they will do whatever is necessary to keep everyone safe. Please just sleep and they will bring you to the hotel at 2pm tomorrow so we all can talk but I refuse to have this conversation while you are drunk." Emily said giving the man one more chance to settle down before Jaclyn decided to hit him in the head with the butt of her Glock.

"Bitch…" He tried lunging towards Emily but fell to the floor when Jaclyn did exactly what Emily knew she would do.

"Will…" JJ went to his side.

"Jennifer get your stuff and lets leave they have him trust me."

"I trust you but it's such a mess."

"I know but let's go to the hotel and we can talk there. They have Will and he will be safe I promise. You will talk to him tomorrow at 2pm."

She got up from the floor and walked past Raphy.

"Don't worry…we will take care of him and deliver him in one piece to you tomorrow."

"Thanks Raphy."

"Go on QB we got him see you tomorrow." Jaclyn said motioning Emily towards the door.

"Thank you guys" Emily said as she joined JJ in the car to head towards the hotel.

She pulled out her phone and made two calls one to Maura letting her know they were on their way back to the hotel and the other to a worried blonde tech goddess in Boston.

JJ sat in the car with tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't decide if she was angry at Emily or grateful that she was there. Part of her was angry thinking Emily didn't trust her to handle her own business and yet she knew that they were probably minutes away from the D.C. police banging on their door because Will was being unreasonable.

Emily felt the tension all around JJ and wanted to break the silence so she hit 5 on speed dial of her phone which was JJ's number. The woman jumped when she heard the ring tone and pulled her phone from her pocket. She looked at the woman beside her in disbelief that she was calling her when she was sitting right beside her.

"There is so much better cell service here in D.C." Emily said smiling knowing what JJ was thinking.

They both cracked up laughing.

"God Emily… I do not know whether to kiss you or whack you."

"Well I would prefer the kiss if I have a choice in the matter." She said puckering up her lips.

JJ wiped the tears from her eyes as she leaned over and kissed her. Emily took that moment to wrap her arms around her and held the woman to her chest after the kiss had ended. They spent the rest of the ride to the hotel in silence with Emily understanding that JJ needed the quiet to calm her nerves down.

Chapter Six

JJ woke up with a massive head ache from crying herself to sleep in Maura's arms. Emily had gone to Jaclyn's room after getting JJ settled with Maura. She needed to have time to meditate on the conversation that was going to take place in a few hours.

She already had an idea of how she was going to open the talk but wanted to look at the information again that she had brought with her from Boston. She hoped that Will would be like every other man she knew and would settle down after seeing facts on paper but she would have Jaclyn and Raphy at a table behind him just in case his testosterone wanted to still be unreasonable.

Maura didn't say too much knowing that Emily needed to work everything through but she did make the woman promise to sleep at least four hours. She knew it was like spitting into the wind but it made her feel better that she tried to get her wife to rest.

"Did you rest well?" Maura asked JJ when she realized the woman had woken up.

"I did but my head feels like it's splitting in two."

"I thought you might have that issue after crying yourself to sleep there is ibuprofen and a bottle of water on the table beside you. A hot bath will help as well."

"What time is it?"

"It's 11:30… plenty of time to get things together. Emily brought us some bagels earlier if you're able to eat."

"Where is she?"

"Working on something in Jaclyn's room, you know how she has to go over everything ten times before it happens."

"Yeah… that's what makes her so damn good. I'm so sorry Maura. I didn't mean for her to get caught up in all of this. I was just fearful of him finding out by accident. I thought or hoped he would be okay."

"It's okay Jennifer… I am starting to believe things happen for a reason."

"I hate that it interrupted her rest. She looks so much better."

"She has rested a lot and even started eating. I'll have to keep an eye on her and Jane though."

"Why?"

"Jane is using Emily's pregnancy to start a junk food revolution."

JJ laughed a sincere laugh, "Sorry Maura you are in for at least five more months of the revolution she is starting the craving stage."

"I understand that but you can crave healthy."

"Yeah… good luck with that one…Has she started the other cravings too?"

"Other cravings" Maura asked puzzled.

"When I was pregnant with Henry starting around the fourth month I was a horn dog. What time I wasn't craving food I was craving sex."

"I'm sorry to say she is still having issues in that area." Maura said as she sat down on the bed in front of JJ.

"Maura it has probably been close to five months since Emily has had a sexual release and I know she is entering into a very hormonal time. What are we going to do to help her?"

"Well we have started meditating together for the past two days. I have some theories that she hasn't had an opportunity to grieve the death of Kia and guilt hits her if she receives sexual affection from us. I'm hoping by meditating it will come to the surface for her to see and do what she needs to grieve but that's for another day we got to get your situation fixed first."

"Yeah… then there's that."

"Jennifer… it will be okay. Emily has a plan and she hasn't failed us yet." She said as she reached out to hug and convey her beliefs to JJ.

"Thank you."

"Anytime… I'm going to go and check on our master mind right now so you can have the room to yourself. I'm sure Emily will want to see you before we head down for lunch so I will say we will be back here by 1:30pm." She said as she got up and headed for the door.

"Sounds good to me…Thank you again"

Maura smiled at her as she left.

JJ grabbed the ibuprofen and water while she looked around the room, "What a mess." She thought as she got up to eat a bagel remembering Advils on an empty stomach wasn't such a good idea.

XXXXX

Maura took a deep breath before knocking on the door of the hotel room Emily was in. She knew that she had to tread softly yet firmly in these waters. She too had a fondness for Jennifer and wanted everything to workout but she knew if it didn't her love would just add that guilt to the mountain of guilt she was already carrying that really wasn't hers to carry.

She knocked on the door and blow out the breath she was holding. Emily opened the door and smiled at the beautiful woman before her. Maura loved the mere glimpses of the lover she knew was inside Emily.

"bonjour belle vous prenez mon souffle (Hello beautiful you take my breath)

"Charmeur" Maura said walking in with a big smile.

"facile d'être quand il est vrai (Easy to be when it's true.)

She crossed the room and decided to kiss Emily with a hunger that came from deep within for she didn't know when the fog of guilt would come and reclaim her soul as its own. She had to plant seeds of her love and acceptance when the moments presented themselves.

Emily pulled back and looked into hazel eyes like she was memorizing every fleck of color and emotion. Maura noticed darkened enriched eyes of desire in Emily's look.

"mon âme aspire votre image (My soul craves your image.)

Maura gasped at the intense truth of the statement she felt move all around her. Emily truly was with her in that moment and it totally engulfed her in the richness of love.

Emily released her when her phone rang causing Maura to curse the buzzing interruption wanting nothing else but to have her lover there with her.

"Prentiss"

"Everything is okay Hotch I have it under control. We are meeting at two to have a conversation."

"I will if anything comes up. Now enjoy your time off and I'll see you in Boston in a week."

Emily put her phone down and walked into the bathroom to brush her hair. Maura followed in behind her and came up slipping her arms around her. She noticed the fog had returned when Emily became ridged at her touch. She had also noticed in the reflection of the mirror the whence of pain made by Emily when her arms caught her waist

"Habibiy… I love you," was all she could say as she gentle squeezed Emily and let her go before it became an issue.

"I love you too."

Maura had noticed Emily's speech was back to English. Not being discouraged at the change because she saw a glimpse of her love and knew that Emily was reachable she just needed to find the bridge over to her soul.

She recovered from the over whelming feelings of the moment lost and documented once again that when Emily was herself that she spoke in French. Maybe that was her safe place she thought. She knew that Jennifer had talked about Paris and they had two years of love and peace in Paris as well. She stored that information so she could write it in her journal later.

"Do you mind if we go for a walk before we meet with the others. I need some air." Emily said wanting to get out of close quarters.

"That sounds like a very good idea. Have you had any water today?"

"Yes with my candy bar." She said with a wink.

"Emily…"

"Just kidding love…I drank a bottle with my bowl of fruit and boiled eggs this morning."

"Thank you love"

"For what"

"Trying"

"Anything for you," She said with a smile. "Now how is Jennifer doing?" She asked as they headed out the door for their walk.

"She woke up with a head ache from crying herself to sleep but other than that she is okay."

"Yeah… saw that coming. How is she concerning today?"

"I would say she is nervous and feeling guilty that she caused such a ruckus."

"Saw that one coming too. I'll talk to her before lunch."

"My turn… I saw that coming…" Emily looked at her confused. "I told her that we would come by at 1:30pm to check on her before lunch… that you would probably want to talk to her."

"We may a great team habibiy."

"Yes we do indeed." Maura smiled as Emily wrapped an arm around her waist as they started walking around D.C.

Chapter Seven

JJ stepped into a hot bath… suddenly she was standing in the hot water of a Japanese bath tub. "Was that only a week and a half ago?" she asked herself.

She sat and let the warmth penetrate her being. She wanted only to feel this moment to wash the pain of bruising words away. Will had been so hurtful but she understood he felt betrayed. Then her knight and shining armor had come to rescue her even from the blows of hurtful words.

Emily just showed up… she always shows up… and she will always show up. That thought warmed her heart while the water warmed her skin. No matter what she knew that she had to stand her ground. She couldn't live empty anymore she had to have Emily as a part of her life and now Maura was just as important in some ways.

She laughed knowing that people would think they were crazy with everything. Shoot a month ago she would have been one of those people to. But now that she had touched it…experienced it… and now yearned for it she couldn't walk away from love again. She would just have to trust that Emily could get through to Will.

She let that be the last pondering thought for it was time to dress and meet the challenge of the day. Emily and Maura would be there soon and she wanted to be prepared and show them she was ready to handle her business.

XXXXX

The two women had made it back to the hotel just in time for Emily to stop by the bathroom before going to see JJ. Maura had laughed at her ranting about never having to pee so much knowing that it was only going to get worse but she decided to keep that information to herself.

Emily came out of the restroom with the phone up to her ear.

"Yes mother I realize it was a sudden trip but you didn't need to call Hotch."

"Yes I know I am carrying you granddaughter."

"No mother I'm not sure when we will be home but I will call you when we know for sure."

"Yes mother we will be safe… and I love you too."

"Bye mother."

"God… I'm not sure which version of my mother I like best."

Maura laughed and hugged her wife, "Maybe she is just making up for lost time?"

"Well I am going to head up and talk with Jennifer. You sure you do not mind waiting down here for us?"

"I know there are things you both need to say and they might not get said if I am there."

"I love you… and someday maybe I will get to truly express the words in my heart.

Maura leaned in and captured her lips in a slow and chase kiss. "One day we will both get to flow in and out of each other's love like we did when we were young." She felt a shiver run through Emily. She wasn't for sure if it was fear or excitement so she released her to go and talk to JJ wanting her wife's head clear when she spoke to Will.

"Oh… I forgot…do you mind getting the satchel I left in Jaclyn's room and bringing it down here to the restaurant?"

"I'll get it love." She said as she took the key from Emily's hand.

XXXXX

Emily decided to knock instead of using her key so she wouldn't startle JJ. When the door opened she gave Emily a puzzled look.

"You forget your key and where is Maura?"

"No to the first question and down stairs waiting on us to the second."

"Oh… I thought we were meeting up here."

"She thought that we might need a moment to talk alone."

"She is so sweet."

"Yes she is. How are you?"

"She told you about the head ache and nerves."

"Yep"

"The head ache is gone but the nerves not so much"

Emily crossed over and took her into a hug.

"Emily… I am so sorry…"

"Shhh… I got you Blackbird."

There it was… the whole reason for this entire fight. JJ wouldn't ever allow this to be removed from her life again. She felt so brave in Emily's arms. She loved Will and didn't want to lose him but Emily was part of her soul's destiny it seemed.

"I need you to listen to me Jennifer… no matter what happens today I do not want you to be afraid of you future. Maura and I have discussed it… you and Henry always have a home with us. You will just have to commute to work."

JJ laughed as she wiped a tear from her eye, "That would be some commute."

"Well you can always use our jet."

"Emily… How rich are you?"

"Scary"

"Really"

"Yes… I am the sole heir of my grandfather's wineries in France and also the sole heir of the Prentiss fortune when Douglas dies."

"Wow…"

"Look I never have taken my families money other than to help others because of the situation with my mother but now I realize I have a responsibility to make sure things continue to stay in order."

"Won't that be a lot on you with opening this new agency?"

"Not really because Nathaline's father runs my grandfather's wineries now and I just monitor the business thru the web. I visit once or twice a year to go through the books with my accountant."

"What about the Prentiss fortune?"

"Right now Douglas is still in full control and he sends me all updates and his right hand man is one of my special people."

"Special people"

"Like Jaclyn and Z-man."

"Oh… A person you helped."

"Yes… and I spend a couple days a month by video conferencing but of course since I'll be here I guess I'll have to start going in to the office."

"You are full of surprises."

"No… I am still me… and it is all overwhelming to think about everything being on my shoulders but I plan on surrounding myself with a great team and I will use it to make a difference."

"You have already made such a difference in the world Em. That's why I love you and in love with you."

Emily stood speechless a moment… "Since when," She asked when her vocal chords recovered from the shock.

"Subconsciously since Paris, consciously since I admitted it to Pen when she asked me on the jet if I was."

"Wow…"

"Emily… Will is my story with a "maybe" going on right now but you are connected to my destiny."

"That is very well said and I am in love with you too."

They embraced each other taking a moment to breath in each other's scent and strength. The silence of their warmth seemed to seal their emotions into courage for the meeting yet to come.

"I guess we need to get down stairs." JJ said not really wanting to let go but knew it was necessary.

"Look… let me handle talking with Will. He views me as the threat so let's use that to our advantage."

"All right" She said hoping Emily was right.

"It's going to be okay. Now I am going to meet them when they arrive while you and Maura wait in the restaurant. I want you to sit across from Maura so Will and I are face to face. Trust me… this will work."

"I trust you with my life Em."

Emily leaned down and captured her lips in a slow but encouraging kiss of strength. "I love you Jennifer."

"I love you too."

"Let's go and talk to Gentleman Jack then."

"He's never going to live down that name is he?"

"Not with me."

They laughed as they left the room.

Ten minutes after arriving in the lobby a car pulled up with Jaclyn, Raphy and a hungover Will in it. Maura and JJ had already gone into the restaurant. Emily walked out to meet the three to allow them especially Will to know how things were going to proceed over lunch.

"Good afternoon" She said to them.

"Good afternoon." Jaclyn and Raphy said with Will just nodded his head.

Emily noticed a split lip on Will and looked at Raphy.

He shrugged his shoulders. The she looked at Jaclyn.

"He was warned several times by both of us." She said as a way of explanation.

"Was it the double F's?"

"Yes" Raphy said with an almost hint of an apology.

"Okay I will go in first and break the news but before I do let's just get some ground rules set. First of all… Will I get you are angry and feel betrayed but we will be eating with our wives who are ladies so I will not have anyone calling anyone derogatory names. There just isn't any reason or purpose in it."

"Says you…" He said under his breath.

"Will… Jaclyn and Raphy will be sitting at a table directly behind you and they will not be as patient as they were last night."

"You not man enough to fight this out one on one Emily?"

Emily stopped Jaclyn from punching him in the stomach. "Will I am very capable of defeating you and if you remember correctly I could have let you be blown up and we wouldn't even be having this talk right now. Now get it through your head right now we will have a civil conversation.

Now I am going to give you a few moments to gather yourself while I go in and explain your split lip to your wife."

She looked at Jaclyn, "Bring him to the restaurant in ten."

"You got it QB."

Emily walked to the table and took her chair. She looked at Maura stealing a moment in her eyes to strengthen her to turn and talk to JJ.

"They are here. Now I need to let you know Will has a hangover and isn't in a pleasant mood but he is working on it after our conversation."

"Grrreattt…" JJ said looking down at her plate all most defeated.

"Look it's going to be okay… but there is something else…"

"What…" she looked up nervously.

"It seems Will woke up and became mouthy with Raphy. He was warned by both Jaclyn and Raphy to refrain from calling him a "fucking faggot" but he didn't heed the warning until he got a split lip for his troubles."

"Oh Em… is he okay?"

"Will or Raphy?" She said trying to lighten up JJ's mood.

"Will…"

"He's fine."

"Hasn't Raphy been trained to take trash talk?"

"Jennifer… His father was a strict man who drank and called Raphy a faggot every time he did something he didn't approve of. It's a trigger for him and I'm sure Will was given several warnings before there was a reaction."

"I'm sure… I'm sorry Em…"

"No need to be… here they come."

Maura looked at the man's lip when he sat down and decided from what she could see it wasn't a bad cut. She noticed JJ looking at it too and got her attention by clearing her throat and mouthed he is okay. JJ half smiled at her as a thank you.

"Will I would like to introduce you to my wife Dr. Maura Isles. Maura this is William La Montagne Jr. Jennifer's husband."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Maura said trying to cut the tension in the air.

"Yes ma'am…Pardon my manors it has been a rough night."

"That is quiet alright I do understand." She said smiling at the man. "How are you feeling I understand there might be a hangover taking place?"

"Yes ma'am unfortunately that would be the case. My head has race horses running the fifth race over and over in it."

Smiling at the man's southern charm, "I believe I have a remedy for that." She said as she handed him a bottle of Ibuprofen and a glass of water.

"Thank you this is the nicest thing that's happened to me in two days."

JJ just looked further down at her plate. Emily was giving a moment for the Advils to start working hopefully taking off the edge off the man's mood.

"Will…do you feel that you can hold anything on your stomach?" Emily asked gauging if they should eat first or just dive into talking.

"I might be able to keep some soup and toast down."

"Good we will eat first and then slowly enter our conversation."

"Where is Henry?" He asked after the waiter took their orders.

"Spence still has him… I will go and get him after this is over." JJ answered him.

"I hear you got an award on an arrest of a counterfeit operation Will." Emily said trying to keep the conversation on a normal tempo.

"I did two months ago but how did…"

"Jennifer was telling us about it and how proud she was of you." Maura added to the conversation.

"Yeah… right… she also told me you two were getting married but you introduced her as your wife. Did you two get hitched already?"

"We have said vows to each other before which in my opinion makes her my wife but we will be making it legal in the sight of the law in March. I hope you will come to the wedding."

"Let's just cut the bull shit here Emily what's really going on. You say you are getting married to Maura but my wife is in love with you and has sex with you so what the hell is going on?"

Emily gave him a stare of take the attitude down or be sorry.

"Will I have two ways I can explain this and one of them you will not like..."

"Emily…" JJ pleaded.

"Trust me," was all that she answered JJ with.

JJ nodded her head yes and let the conversation continued.

Emily bent down to the satchel that Maura had brought into the restaurant for her. She pulled out a good sized envelope and sat it on the table. She looked up to make sure Will was watching her. Then she bent down again and pretended to be searching for something just to unnerve him. She pulled out three leather bound journals and placed them on the table. She saw that he recognized them and was truly upset.

JJ recognized the envelope as the one she pulled from Emily's safety deposit box and never got to go through totally before they were sent back to Emily from Tel Aviv but the journals were new. She had never seen them before.

"As I was saying Will…there are two ways we can handle this situation and I believe it's time that everything come out in the open don't you?"

"Where did you get those? They are private and personal…they don't belong to you bitch…they are Charlie's."

"You are correct in that they are Charles Luvet's personal journals and I will only remind you this one time refrain from the name calling."

"I guess you hold all the cards now don't you?" He spat back.

JJ looked at the journals puzzled then back at Will.

"Will…" Emily continued, "I read these journals last night. They were sent to me by a friend when I looked into you being a father for Henry. I make it a personal point to protect those I love. They had found them and protected the content from prying eyes after his death.

I never read them until last night because Penelope had told me that she once asked JJ if she wanted a back ground check done on you and she had said no that she wanted to find out about you from you.

But now we are here at this point of honesty and I just do not believe the truth is going to come from you at the moment but it will before we are through. So we will start with the envelope, it contains my last will and testament and several documents concerning trust funds. JJ pulled this envelope out of a safety deposit box a few weeks ago because I was going to disappear off the face of the earth with my daughter."

"To bad that didn't happen." He said sarcastically.

Maura stood up and pointed a finger in his face, "You sir will never speak those words again in my presence or I will do much worse than Raphy could ever think of. You sit here sulking that your wife has received absolute love from an amazing woman…"

Will yelled back at her, "You two women are fools anyone can see she is pregnant." He turned and looked at Emily, "What you get tired of fish and decided to have real meat?"

Maura slapped him across the face and walked out to gain control of her emotions before she slapped him again. Emily motioned for Jaclyn and Raphy to watch Will as she went to calm Maura down.

JJ was standing by then too.

"Are you going to slap me too JJ?"

"Matter of fact I want to and for the same reason Maura did. Will… Emily was gang raped by the people who killed her previous wife. She purposely allowed herself to get caught to save the life of her daughter.

She is here trying to explain things and save our marriage that you obviously care nothing about at the moment because your pride is blinding you. She has done nothing but tried to help your cause since we met. She was the one who got me over myself in Miami to start dating you out

in the open. She is the one who saved your ass before it was blown up and she is the one who flew thousands of miles to save my life."

He hung his head as JJ's words were the ones that finally hit home. "JJ you never told me she was raped."

"She is a privet person Will and that isn't something for me to tell."

"That's just it JJ I never really know about things in your life."

"That's not true Will I share things I can but there are just things I can't and will never be able to…"

"Because of the job…"

"Yes Will… because of her job." Emily said as she returned with Maura hand in hand.

"Mr. La Montagne…Please forgive me… violence should be the last resort but it seems when it concerns Emily my protective side tends to be more demonstrative than I would like."

Will stood and bowed his head, "No ma'am it is I who should be apologizing I wasn't aware of the conditions surrounding Emily's condition. It was rude no matter the circumstances."

Emily looked at everyone, "Let's all sit and have a civil conversation please."

They all nodded and started the conversation over.

"As I was saying this envelope contains my will and information on trust funds that have been set up. I am only going to tell you the parts that concern your family.

If anything happens to me there is a half a million dollar trust set up for Henry. If JJ is not living then half of that trust rolls over to you to raise Henry and the other half for his education. There is a half a million dollar trust in there for JJ alone so she will never feel hopeless in any situation. That even in my death she will know that I will always have her back as much as I can.

There is another half a million dollar trust set up in case you had another child. If no other children then you both would have access to it upon JJ's sixtieth birthday as a retirement so you two could travel, enjoy grandchildren or whatever.

Will… I know this hits your pride hard because you want to be able to do that for your family but you can by listen and understanding what I am about to tell you. I also realize that JJ's job is hard on you but you need to realize it is who she is and it was who she was before we met. She was already in the B.A.U. when I joined. I have tried to shield her from some things I knew but it didn't work all the time so I set up these contingency plans."

She looked around the table giving him a moment to take in all she said. JJ was in tears and speechless of everything that was said. She had no idea that Emily had set up any of this for her and Henry. She did remember what Emily had said about Henry in the shower before the mission that she viewed him as her son as well.

"I know you understand JJ and my feelings for each other..." She started as she picked up the journals. "I believe it's time to tell the other part of the story Will. There isn't anyone her in this room that is going to judge you or tell your secrets. There really isn't too many people on earth that do not have skeletons in their closets most just won't admit to them. I believe you might just enjoy some freedom and maybe some celebration after everything is out and in the open."

He looked up at Emily and the journals with unshed tears in his eyes and opened his mouth but nothing came out. She gave him a few more moments then asked, "Do you need me to start telling it?" He shook his head yes.

"When Will's partner Charles Luvet was murdered in Miami he told everyone that he didn't know Charles's sexual preference which wasn't exactly true. He didn't however know the extent of his partner's preference.

Will and Charles went through the police academy together and served for a couple of years before Katrina at the same precinct. According to the journals… Charles was always attracted to Will but never told him at first.

They were just partners and buddies. When Will's father died…"

She paused and looked at the man whose head was hung down looking at his soup to see if he wanted to take over the story. When there wasn't any acknowledgement she continued on, "After the funeral Will was a mess and very drunk. Charles took him home with him and from what I gathered from the journals consoled him by holding him while they slept. When they woke up the next morning things became more intimate. It wasn't full intercourse but releases were achieved.

They never talked of it again… I am assuming they just chalked it up to alcohol and emotions until six months later when a cop was killed and Will thought it had been Charles. After that they had a short time of closeness but Will could never accept their relationship. Charles wrote of Will's fondness for him but was hurt that he couldn't fully commit to a physical relationship.

Charles eventual dropped the hope of a relationship and got engaged to a girl hoping it would help smooth things over and their friendship could get back to being normal again. Will had started dating JJ and he hoped maybe they could be close again if he got married but he couldn't go through with it. He was gay.

Charles actually told Will that he was going to break off the engagement when he returned from vacation and that he was going to transfer departments also when he returned. It seemed working with Will was just too hard on him.

Now I can only assume these feelings but I imagine there is a vast amount of anger and guilt in you Will and I am sure that JJ's and my relationship triggers all of that emotion."

She paused giving him once again a chance to add to her comments… but nothing.

"Will… I am going to tell you this one time only… I understand you and I am not here to steal JJ. I am here to secure you. She is your wife and she loves you and wants to raise Henry with you. She even wanted to have more children with you and by you.

You are the one she wants to come home to and have dinner with, to spend holidays with and to sleep with on regular bases. Maura is the one I want to come home to, eat dinner with and be int…" her voice cracked "be with." She quickly recovered but not quickly enough because JJ looked at Maura and they both knew what the other was thinking.

"JJ told you about us because she can't promise that the closeness of our relationship will never consist of intimate relations again and she didn't want to lie to you about it. I will be there for her no matter the need and she will be there for me just like Charles was there for you when you needed him most.

Now I believe you and JJ have things to discuss between you but before Maura and I leave you two, Jaclyn and Raphy here I want you to know something. You are a part of JJ and Henry who are major parts of my family so that makes you a part of my family too. I hope this can all be

worked out. I am going to leave these journals here while you two talk. Jaclyn will return them to me for safe keeping until a permanent peace has been made between the two of you.

Maura and I are planning on staying at least another night here. We will be waiting on Jennifer up stairs and if she needs to bring Henry here tonight she can do so. I haven't seen the little man in such a long time."

They all stood while Emily and Maura left the room.

"Nicely done habibiy" Maura said as Emily put her arm around her waist.

"Let's hope it works." She said as they made their way to the elevator.

Chapter Eight

Jane walked into the Ambassador's house looking for Penelope. She was hoping that the colorful woman had heard from Emily or JJ.

The whole computer set ups had been moved into the smaller workout room that Maura and JJ had used to train for the mission in. This was only going to be the temporary home for Emily's office until a building could be found that could house such a security level. Emily was thinking about building a building on the Ambassadors property since it was already a secure location. The powers that be seemed to be more inclined for that to happen not wanting her agency to be in public view. There would be an office set up in the downtown Boston area as a shell for any outside visitors.

"Jane how lovely it is to see you again."

"Good morning Ambassador."

"You must call me Elizabeth. Now have you heard from my daughters?"

"No ma'am I haven't that's why I'm here to see if Penelope has heard anything."

"I haven't seen Ms. Garcia this morning but I'm sure the two of the three Amigos are in the workout room running more wires to their contraptions. Please let me know if you hear anything dear."

"Yes ma'am I will." She smiled at the name given to the three tech analyst. She walked towards the workout room away from the Ambassador thinking about the total transformation the woman had made since the first time she had laid eyes on her. It was hard to believe the sweet woman she just talked to could be a Tasmanian devil when she wanted to be and yet Emily was the same way if pushed. She walked in and saw the two tech brains huddled over a hard drive.

"Good morning ladies what are you two doing?"

"Trying to figure out how to link this last hard drive with all of ours," Pen said

"So everything is just about set up?"

"Yes except this bloody piece of trash."

"Xandy that's not nice… but I do agree." Pen said sticking her tongue out at the drive.

"You two will figure it out I'm sure."

"Oh no… This is Raphy's job because we refuse to ring that trollup Julie from the C.I.A to help with this bugered contraption." Xandy said with a disgusted look on her face.

"Xandy…Don't be jealous she was just drawn that way." Garcia said laughing.

"Who the drive or Julie" Xandy asked with a smirk.

"Both"

"That's wrong Pen… a Rodger Rabbit reference this early in the morning before I've had coffee… that is just so wrong." Jane said smiling at her friend shaking her head.

"There is a pot over there and why are you here this early?"

"Hoping you had heard from our jet setting friends."

"Emily called about 2:30am and said that she and JJ were heading back to the hotel where Maura was and Jaclyn and Raphy was going to stay with Will."

"Was it that bad that they had to separate the two?"

"Well…her first call was to see if there was a noise complaint phoned into the D.C. police."

"Ouch…"

"Yeah… seems Will became good friends with Gentleman Jack but they are supposed to have lunch this afternoon and iron things out."

"I hope they can. Have you seen my mother this morning by chance?"

"She's probably up stairs getting Chessie ready for the day."

"Should have known…smothering mother turned into a smothering nonna"

"Jane… your mother is sweet."

"Yeah…try living with her as a ten year old when all you want is to play baseball and she puts you in a dress and makes you go with her to old people's houses for tea." Jane said as she was heading out the door to find the old lady in the shoe. She smiled at the remembrance of what she called her mother at ten.

XXXXX

JJ rode the elevator up to Maura and Emily's room carrying the satchel that Jaclyn was supposed to return to Emily. When she got off the elevator she noticed the door cracked open. She figured Emily was sleeping and Maura had done that so the opening of the door wouldn't wake her up.

She slowly approached and barley opened it wider so she could stick her head in. She saw Emily curled up in the bed and Maura sitting in a chair writing in a journal.

"Maura…" She said in a whisper.

Maura looked up and held a finger up as she got up from the chair and headed over to where JJ was. They stepped back out in the hall so they could talk without disturbing the sleeping woman.

"Jennifer… is everything okay?"

"It's better. I'm going to go and get Henry from Spence's house and we are going to come back here and stay with Jaclyn tonight. Raphy is going to go back with Will." She said as she handed the satchel to Maura.

"Oh…"

"It's okay…We decided that Will needed a night to think and get things together. I was concerned that he would drown himself in a bottle so Raphy said he would stay with him. It seems that the two of them have things in common and Raphy was helping Will in some odd way."

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah… I figured it was a good thing for him to be able to talk to a man about some things and Emily hasn't seen Henry in forever. Jaclyn is going to take me over to get him and then she is coming back to crash so I hope you don't mind us taking over your room for a little while."

"Not at all… She has fallen asleep after being up all night reading those journals but I'm sure she will be awake by the time you get back."

"How is she…"

They both turned their heads towards the door when they heard Emily talking to someone. Maura pushed the door open slightly and Emily was sitting up in the bed turned away from them. JJ started to say something but stopped when Maura touched her forearm getting her attention.

"She is still asleep." Maura whispered to JJ. "Just listen."

"Bella… I've missed you so much."

"She's dreaming about Carolina I think." JJ said as Maura shook her head yes.

"I am so sorry… I mess up so much. I shouldn't have let you go Christmas… karma is a hard taskmaster."

"I think Will's journals have triggered memories of her past." Maura whispered as JJ watched Emily.

"Sing to me love… hold me and rub my back please." Emily said lying down in a fetal position and hummed the song "Dormi" as she curled up.

"You go and take care of your business and I'm going to go and hold her so she will stay asleep hopefully."

"Okay…See you in a bit." JJ said to her as the door was shutting.

She turned and walked to the elevators thinking back on what she had just heard. Then it dawned on her. "I need to give Dakota a call." She said out into the elevator as the doors shut.

She walked out of the hotel feeling better about her life. She wasn't going to lose her husband and if she could get a hold of Dakota just maybe she could help Maura get Emily comfortable in her own skin again.

Chapter Nine

The jet landed in Boston with the B.A.U. team minus Rossi and Garcia who were already there. The team was rested and everyone seemed to have their inner demons chained. They didn't talk about the meeting taking place in two hours instead they were all into catching up with each other or into games of chess.

JJ had kept in contact with Maura and Penelope for the past week. She had text Emily a couple of times to let her know everything was fine. Raphy stayed in D.C. two extra days to help out the couple.

She was still trying to place him over in Iraq but still had no memory of him there. She knew he had to have been there because Emily sent him to protect her but she was coming up blank.

The team had a lot of administrative things to set up with Emily's new agency but first things first they all had to sign the contracts and understand all the legal ramifications. This was Hotch's responsibility.

JJ knew that the meetings were going to be long today but was hoping for time with Maura so they could talk about what she had found out from Dakota her college roommate. She had a plan that she thought would work and hoped Maura would agree to help pull it off.

Rossi and Emily greeted the team in black SUV's. Hotch , Spencer, Morgan, and Rossi rode in one letting the two women have the second one so they could catch up on private matters if they need to.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good Em. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and peeing all the time."

"Sounds right" JJ said as she leaned over to kiss her.

"Mmm… hello…"

"Hello"

"How's Will doing?"

"Better… Raphy really helped him. I'm not sure how but I'm not going to question it too hard."

"Wise woman…so is everything good?"

"Good as in us…yes… Good as in him with us… I believe it's better and time will iron out the rest of the wrinkles."

"Fair enough…Now how is the team with all of this?"

"I'm not going to lie to you…there were hurt feelings and I imagine there will be ironing on that shirt as well."

"Can't we just take it to the dry cleaners and let them steam it I hate ironing." She said with a frown.

"Nice thought Em but we are just going to have to sweat it out day by day on our own I'm afraid."

"I guess it could have be worse…they could have just ripped the shirt to shreds."

"True…So where am I staying? Pen said there were options being considered."

"The team is going to be at the Ambassadors. You and I are going to stay at Maura's house with her."

"Why?"

"So we can have some private time and so I can get away from seeing Rossi coming out of my mother's bedroom. There are just some things I do not want to know or imagine."

JJ laughed. "I was wondering how that relationship was progressing."

"I do not care but I know one thing I am not going to call him "daddy." It's not happening."

"I think it's sweet."

"Okay you call him daddy."

"No thank you."

"See… it's just wrong on so many levels."

"How's Pen"

"All British" Emily said with a smile.

"Yeah… it took us six months to get her away from it when she and Morgan moved you over to London."

"Well…don't tell Jane…but I think Frankie and Pen have a little curiosity thing going on with each other."

"Wait…What?"

"She hasn't talked to you about it?" Emily asked not believing that Pen hadn't talked to her best friend about it.

"No"

"Well apparently he is in school for computers and has been coming around to get tutoring lessons from our colorful girl."

"She does like teaching." JJ said with a smutty tone.

They both busted out laughing.

"Well let's keep it quite from Morgan we wouldn't want her Casanova to get scared and run from her because of the Chocolate Adonis." Emily said with a knowing look.

"Agreed…Oh…I have a scoop of my own on Spence."

"What's boy wonder been up to? I hate that I missed him in D.C."

"Seems your niece Nathaline aka the Falcon and boy wonder have been texting each other."

"No way…"

"Yeah… He goes for the secretive brunettes it seems. You never got to meet Maeve."

"No I didn't but he called me a lot after her death." Emily said with a sad frown remembering the pain in the young man's voice.

"He didn't call anyone of us for days after her death."

"Sorry… he called me almost every day."

"I get that in a way though."

"He adored her."

"Yeah…we were all afraid he would hit the drugs again."

"He thought about it but we talked through the pain." She said remembering a lot of sleepless nights spent talking on the phone.

"I guess you have had experience with that with Carolina?"

"Yes…I did."

JJ saw Emily shut down immediately at the mention of Carolina's name.

"Em… her death wasn't your fault."

"I know JJ and its long in the past. We are here." She said as she pulled the keys from the ignition and hopped out of the car escaping the topic of Carolina's death all together.

JJ decided to leave it be since they had a long day and she didn't want to trigger anything in Emily before she talked to Maura.

XXXXX

Maura had gone into her office even though she knew she would have to leave soon for the meetings at the Ambassador's house. There were some reports she needed to finish up herself even though her staff had run the office efficiently in her absence the last month.

Luckily homicides in Boston had been down while she was gone. They had only two true cases and one of them being the Nichole Tessler case that she was in directly involved in.

"Morning… I thought you would be here early." Jane said walking in and handing Maura a cup of tea.

"I had some reports for the Governor that I needed to finish." She said in way of an explanation.

"How are you doing Maura? You have little half-moon puffs under your eyes."

"Emily isn't sleeping well again and I am very concerned."

"I didn't ask you about Emily I asked about you."

Maura gave her friend a small smile of gratitude for the concern about her welfare. "Jane right now Emily and I are tied together since I'm with her more than not.

"Have you told Dr. Kate about Emily?"

"She stops by every other day still checking on her."

"What does she say about it?"

"The baby is okay because the meditation keeps her calm but something has to give soon or her body will give."

"That sucks."

"Well if she's not careful she is going to be back on bed rest and that will really suck as you say."

"She makes me look like a model patient."

"Yes…she does."

"Maybe between you and JJ this week you can strap her down to the bed and tire her out." Jane said wiggling her eyebrows at Maura trying to lighten up the conversation.

"I wish it were that simple then we all would be sleeping peacefully with a smile on our faces."

"Snap…So your sexual frustrated too then I take it. You want to go for a run after this boring ass meeting to make your endorphin's all happy and orgasmic?" Jane said with a smirk trying to get Maura to laugh.

"Jane…" She started to correct her friend's science information but couldn't get past the sobs that exploded from her chest.

"Don't cry Maur… I was trying to cheer you up. It's going to be okay." She said gathering the crying woman into her arms.

"How… how is it going to get better when she shuts me out every time I touch her?"

"Wow… it's that bad?"

"Yes… there are moments… mere moments when I see my Emily and then she's gone."

"I know you don't want to hear this and I'm pretty sure you already know this but being gang raped could mess with your head not to mention your sexual drive. I think I would be hiding under a rock too."

"Now who has the jokes?" Maura said wiping her eyes.

"I'm just trying to help you out here Maur… I've even offered happy run endorphin's to you." She said smiling and blinking her eyelashes trying to be sexy. "But I draw the line at taking you to the Merch."

That did the trick Maura laughed saying, "The women would be all over you in your butch suit."

"Oh… She's back with the jokes." Jane said as she tickled the woman.

"Stop it Jane we are at work and supposed to be professional."

"There's the Maur I know and love." She said rubbing the woman's shoulders.

"Thank you."

"Anytime… Now let's go to this dumb ass meeting."

"Language Jane"

"Yes ma'am" Jane said as she opened the door for Maura to go to the Ambassador's house loving the fact she had gotten a smile out of her best friend.

Chapter Ten

The meeting didn't last as long as everyone thought it would. Maybe it was because they were all on board with what Emily had planned. There were still some questions and issues that were brought up that would be addressed later that week.

They broke for the day at 3pm everyone seemed happy to just settle back in and to do the gather for drinks thing later in the week. The Ambassadors celebration event was scheduled for Thursday night so the team could fly out on Friday morning for the weekend.

JJ decided that this was a perfect time to talk with Maura since Emily had to work with the tech team on a glitch in the soft wear. She approached her and Jane as the meeting came to a close.

"Hello Maura…Jane."

"Jennifer it's good to see you again." Maura said giving the woman a hug.

"Hey JJ…everything going okay"

"It will get there I hope."

"Did Emily explain to you that you will be staying at my house this trip?"

"She did and that's why I came over here. Can we head back to your place? I have something I would love to discuss with you in private."

"Sure but we will need to ride with Jane back to the precinct and get my car. I rode with Jane here."

"That's perfectly fine with me."

"Okay then let me tell Emily that we are leaving so she doesn't worry."

Maura went over to her fiancé and explained what was going on. Emily came to the group to say good-bye and make sure everything was okay.

XXXXX

Emily was working with Garcia when she received a text from Maura to be at her place at 5:30pm. She had several more things to go over but knew better than to ignore a text asking her presence. Maura wasn't one to put demands on her time so she tried to be obliging when one came up.

She walked into the house and was met by JJ who told her she was to go and relax in the hot bath water that Maura had ran for her while she went and picked up something for dinner. She looked at JJ and wondered if there was a conspiracy a foot but decided to surrender to the powers that be at the moment it was just easier to surrender than fight.

She smiled as she stepped into the bathroom and saw floating lavender flowers in the water. This might be a great idea after all she thought as she slipped into the hot water. The fragrance of the lavender surrounded her and slowly relaxed her senses while the hot water relaxed her body.

After thirty minutes in the warm water she decided to dry off and find out what was on the agenda that demand her to be here by 5:30pm. She toweled off and went into the bedroom to put some sweats on but found her bag and everything was missing except the red silk robe she had brought before the mission. There was a note beside it that read:

Habibiy put this on and come to the meditation room.

Emily started to get nervous until she read about the meditation room. She figured that Maura wanted to have her totally relax when they meditated this time and she knew that Maura felt that clothes were a constraint. She started to get upset thinking that meditation was the only reason for her presence was requested at 5:30pm but then she remembered Maura had her best interest at heart and defused the irritation feelings.

She heard the meditation music and smelt the incense burning as she came down the stairs. She slid open the door and saw that the room was dimly lit and candles were burning. Maura was in the corner arranging some big fluffy throw pillows in the green silk robe she had got her and to her surprise Jennifer was there in a dark blue robe that she had never seen before. She pinched herself a bit to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep in the tub up stairs because this would have been a great start to an erotic dream if ever she had seen one. When she realized it wasn't a dream she entered the room.

"Okay… what's going on?"

"Habibiy come and sit over here."

Emily eyed her fiance wearily but did as she was told.

"Love we are going to meditate in the nude to relax us from all the stress we have been under."

Emily looked at her then at JJ. "Maura we haven't meditated in the nude since boarding school."

"I know and I'm so excited."

"I'm not sure about this."

"Em please… Maura told me about it and it sounds like a wonderful way to relax and gain positive energy." JJ said in a soft voice.

Emily looked at JJ like she had lost her mind.

"Emily…"

She turned and looked at the woman she was going to marry.

"Just try it for a few moments with us. I know you are thinking we are up to something. I can feel your doubt. I will admit we do have plans to relax you but we would never do anything you say no to. Please…habibiy… trust us."

"I trust you both with my life and I will try to do this love but I can't guarantee anything."

"That's all we ask…now we will start with the robes on and ease our way into the meditation." Maura said as she sat in front of the pillows with Emily sitting across from her. JJ sat to the side as they began.

Emily noticed the normal meditation music switched to soft French love ballads. The music slowly began to relax her as she opened up to breathing in and out slowly. They did this for several moments then Maura reached out with her hands palms facing out silently requesting the ladies to follow suit.

They mirrored each other's hands touching finger tips to finger tips and palms to palms. The connection brought an electrical charge into the atmosphere that they all felt. After a few moments of deep breathing they felt Emily relaxing into the touch so Maura slowly slid her hand away to undo her robe and slip it off. JJ was next leaving Emily fighting her demons as she took in deep breaths and letting them out slowly until she too undid her robe and was nude.

Maura brought her hands up again but this time both were in front of Emily. Looking puzzled she mirrored Maura's actions as JJ stood and went to a table. She started to follow her with her eyes until Maura cleared her throat and slightly pointed towards herself letting Emily know she was to keep looking towards her.

JJ mixed lavender and massage oil together in a bowl over a warming candle. When she was done she slowly turned and nodded to Maura that she was ready.

"Habibiy…"

Emily looked up at her nervously wondering what the two had in mind.

"My love do you trust us?"

She looked into Maura's eyes and saw pure love. Tears started flowing with the feelings of reservations but she was captured in the hazel eyes of her lover. She couldn't flee even if she wanted to. Love had cornered her in an invisible world of healing hands.

"Do you trust us love?"

There again the words that were like counting backwards under anesthesia. "10, 9…8…" Emily thought…"With my heart." She heard the words come out of her mouth but had no idea where their origins were from but it was too late she was paralyzed and at the mercy of love.

"Habibiy stay focused on me." Maura had noticed the fog trying to overtake Emily. "Jennifer is slowly going to rub and massage your back as we continue to meditate to help relax you further."

Emily wanted to scream "No" but she was awake in a dream where words were trapped in her chest and she was frozen into the floor where she sat. Maura saw and felt all the emotions running thru Emily's eyes.

"I know this is hard love but she is only going to go from your neck to the base of your back and she will ease into it. I want you to look at me and listen to the music."

As if on que the music switched to The Melody of Tears by Beethoven.

"Sometimes grief needs an audience love you taught me that. Jennifer and I want to be your audience. You haven't had time to mourn the recent losses."

Maura saw fear in dark eyes then guilt she was losing her. She started quoting a poem that she used to read to her when the shadows would come regarding Charlie.

*"Every day your heart cries out, every night it turns to stone. The story of your love is written in blood all over your face. You asked the Beloved to read it. He asked you to ignore it."

That did it… she heard the deep intake of breath. She had her lover's attention again. She looked up to Jennifer and nodded for her to start the massage.

The young woman brought over a bowl of warm lavender oil. She knelt and looked at the scared and beaten back of this beautiful woman and tears flowed as she gently brushed warm hands across the top of her shoulders not wanting to start to low panicking her.

Maura saw the raw pain in her love's eyes as the first touches started across her back, "Tell me love…share the pain I can walk with you and share the load. Tell me about Kia."

Taking another deep breath and just barely above a whisper Emily started as tears fell. "She adored me and I let her down. I gave her all I had at the time but it wasn't enough. I knew it wasn't enough but I tried. The night she was killed it was one of our date nights and I canceled to work on shutting down the traffickers.

We had tickets to a play and I just didn't have it in me that night to pretend to be totally there with her when I knew we would end up fighting about my long hours again. We had already fought that morning about the issue. She just wanted more of me and I couldn't give it.

She decided not to let the tickets go to waste so she took Chessie and that's when they were taken." Sobs broke… Maura pulled her into herself and fell back against the pillows behind her taking Emily with her as she emptied the guilt of truth. She opened up to the one person whom she knew would not judge her who understood her…her soul mate.

JJ followed behind Emily waiting Maura's queue to start again which was given moments later but Emily didn't move from Maura. JJ continued with Maura holding Emily on the sides cooing loving words into the ears of Emily's bruised soul.

Maura looked at JJ after moments went by nodding for her to move lower and to complete the plan. She dipped her hands in more warm oil and pressed into Emily's lower back. She heard the moan of gratitude from Emily. She felt tension trying to release so she press harder and lower feeling the knots of pain in the woman's back start to give way.

Then she found the spot Dakota told her she would find around the knots. Emily tensed as she felt twinges of the signs of a familiar feeling building.

"What are you doing?" She asked out loud.

"Shhh…Habibiy I got you… just let go love."

JJ worked and worked. She could feel the woman tensing refusing to let go. She looked at Maura and mouthed, "She's fighting it."

Nodding understanding, "Emily…Stop fighting the release love."

Raising her head Emily looked into Maura's eyes black with need, *"Oh Beloved, take away what I want. Take away what I do. Take away what I need. Take away everything that takes me from you."

Maura saw her Emily looking at her through those darkened eyes and she pulled her into a searing kiss pouring every ounce of love and forgiveness she could from the breaths of her heart.

When they broke away she lifted them both up and pointed for JJ to lie on the pillows and hold Emily from behind. She knew what she needed to do.

*"There is a place where words are born of silence, A place where the whispers of the heart arise."

Emily sat up and grabbed Maura pulling her down so that her ear was next to her mouth and she finished the poem for her, "There is a place where voices sing your beauty, A place where every breath craves your image in my soul."

Both women were panting trying to contain all the flooding emotions and desires. Emily looking deeply into Maura's eyes as tears fell from her own, "I crave your image in my soul habibiy."

That sprung the restraint in Maura. She had to lavish the woman under her with the warm depths of the love in her heart. She captured Emily's lips again tasting the pure joy of familiarity. Her lover was here and she was going to be able to free her from the chains of guilt and doubt.

Looking for a moment she smiled at JJ who seemed to understand the unspoken request as she moved down to the breast before her.

"You are so beautiful Em…" Jennifer resumed the cooing of loving words into Emily's ear keeping her there with them.

Emily arched into the administrations of Maura's mouth on her breast. Then a sudden pain… a thought of Kia…

Maura felt it and wouldn't be defeated, *"Don't turn from the delight that is so close at hand! Don't find some lame excuse to leave our gathering. You were a lonely grape and now you are sweet wine. There is no use in trying to become a grape again."

Emily looked into her eyes and pulled her into a firestorm of a kiss. "No love I am here and I crave you but let me see your soul."

"I can do that." She said as she kissed her again. Then lifting her head she looked to Jennifer again to start the cooing as she slipped her hand down Emily's body and into Bethesda's pools knowing she would be the angel to trouble the waters of love so her lover could heal.

"You are safe with us Em…Only love is touching you. Go ahead let it all go."

She relaxed as she heard the deep words from Jennifer's throat. The lovers moved as if one on the dance floor of loves secret place.

"I crave the image of you in my soul." Emily panted between breaths.

Maura knew exactly what was being requested and moved to join with the love of her life. She kept her eyes on Emily's as she moved down to taste the wine she knew had and would intoxicate her soul forever.

Jennifer could tell Emily was close to release and started rubbing her hands over the hyper aware skin of her front. The air was thick with love engulfing all three women as they worked together for Emily's release.

As healing was beginning to flood around Emily she quoted, *"Day and night I see the face of union… I am the mirror of God."

Those were the last words as her body gave over to the pleasure of release. JJ held her from behind as Maura came up and held her from the front holding her in a cocoon away from the cold allowing the rescued butterfly to enjoy her new found freedom of flight.

When she regained her voice she finished, *"Every moment I shape my destiny with a chisel, I am the carpenter of my own soul."

Maura lifted up and laughed as she wiped the happy tears from her eyes because they had crossed the dark and brought her lover back with them. Emily kissed her deeply then turned and looked at the other woman holding and loving her. Jennifer gasped at the new person she saw. She had only saw moments of this person that was now looking into the depths of her soul.

Maura knew what was going on, "Jennifer…I'd like you to meet Emily isn't she wonderful?"

"She takes my breath away." She said keeping her eyes fixed on the fiery ones in front of her.

Emily slid her hand behind JJ's head and pulled her into a soul blistering kiss. "Hello Jennifer…I love you."

"I love you too Em," was replied as tears of joy streamed down her face.

Looking at a smiling Maura, "And as for you my soul…my breath…my love words fail me."

"We danced again my love and I now have possession of the keys that the ghost held they are safe in my hands." Maura said as a way of explaining the emotions that were engulfing both of them at the moment. She knew that Emily needed to hear that she wasn't about to let the ghost win anymore she was hers.

"Thank you both. Now I just have one more thing to say."

"What's that habibiy?"

"You can come in now Jane."

Maura and JJ looked up at the sliding door and saw Jane sitting on the floor in the door way frozen like she had just witnessed a comet hitting earth and couldn't move to say anything.

Thank you again for reading. Again my characters had dictated their needs and this story is getting longer yet again but as I have promised I will finish it the way it flows.

*All poetry lines in this section were written by Rumi in the 12th century.