Author's Note: Every cartoon in the 90s always had the "Smoking is bad for your health" message reappearing in airings. I remember a whole episode of Tiny Toons was dedicated to the subject. Anyways, since I'm delving into more serious matters for season four, I figured I'd do a special episode on the pressure to smoke cigerrettes. Please review.
Disclaimer: Sorry, but I have to keep writing this so I don't get sued: I DON'T have the rights to the Back to the Future films or cartoon. There I wrote it, so all you lawyers better not hound me.
Hill Valley, California
October 3, 1992
2:30 PM
Jules Eratosthenes Brown was in the middle of an important history test in his seventh grade class. Of course, his own test was tenth grade level instead of the other seventh grade level tests around. Jules was grateful for being allowed to do more advanced schoolwork that challenged his brain and let him use his skills. It made him feel less bored with school.
Jules finished the test after writing the date and reason of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. He pushed the paper to the left side of his desk where he put all his finished work. The test was fairly easy as it was just a taste of more difficult tests to come.
The teacher had informed the whole class that they were to be doing standardize tests that were required for seventh graders. The tests were rumored to be very challenging and most people only got C's on them. Jules tried not to pay attention to rumors (because he had learned in life that such sayings were not true) but a slight feeling of dread and nervousness was growing inside him.
But Jules was not the type to show any nervousness at a simple test. He had too many other things to think about. He had too many other things going on! Like his latest science project for example…
Perhaps I should observe the samples after I carbon-date them. Jules thought as he sneaked his commonplace book out of his back pocket. He flipped through the pages to find his notes on carbon-dating when he came to a page from yesterday.
The page was a graph Jules had created about the "school food chain." It was like the original food chain but with the different types and groups of the student body. The popular "cool" kids were on top (of course) and the total scholarly and socially inept kids were at the bottom. Jules had interviewed several kids and found out the shocking truth that he was on the lower half of the school food chain. He and his friends were right above the bottom liners.
I cannot believe how low I am categorized on this graph. Jules thought and double checked the graph again. This was something he was beginning to do all the time because it depressed him so. I thought as a member of the seventh grade I would have been respected more than I was last year. Maybe I should set my mind to becoming one of the 'adolescence popularis.'
Jules looked to his right where classmate Tino Hendriks was sitting. The boy was wearing his signiture red zip up hoodie and sunglasses. Tino always had his sunglasses with him. In fact, Jules hypothesized that the suglasses were the popular boy's most valued possesion. Tino looked up from his test and at Jules and made a face.
I wonder why Tino is popular.
Jules watched a note fly across the room and land at Tino's feet. Tino picked it up and looked around. The thrower of the note was a blond girl who was smiling and winking at Tino. Jules looked at the scene forlornly.
Oh, if the rest of humanity could have that luck.
"Pencils down," the teacher shouted from her desk and broke Jules out of his thoughts. The teacher started going down each aisle of desks and collecting the papers. She smiled as she picked up Jules' test. When she had all of them, the bell rang and students gathered their books to leave.
Jules got his binder, commonplace book, and textbook out of his desk and headed for the door. He liked to be the first one out because then he wouldn't get crammed in the "free from the classroom pile up."
The twelve-year-old walked down the hall and went to his locker. The elementary school had lockers aligned down the hallways but only the sixth and seventh graders were allowed to use them. Jules had his magnet collection decorating his locker door.
As he was getting his backpack off the hook, Jules' friend James came up to him.
"Hey Oppenheimer," James said using Jules' nickname. James, Kevin, and Jules all had nicknames of members of the Manhattan Project. "I found the most boss thing on the Internet last night."
"Go on," Jules said as he shoved his books in his backpack. James was always telling him about things he learned or found.
"I discovered this book that is like the number one novel on how to become popular," James said and pulled out a piece of paper. "Kevin and I did some mathematics and we figured out that if we all combine our money we can afford it. Are you game?"
Jules thought about that for a second. Since the beginning of the year, James had been constantly coming up with schemes to get himself, Jules, and Kevin on the top of the school food chain. This was probably his twenty-fifth idea.
"James why are you so obsessed with raising ourselves to a point where the student body admires us?" Jules asked, he wanted to be popular but didn't want to squander his savings for an overpriced novel. After all, he was saving for a new microscope.
"Hey I'm captain of the chess team, buddy," James said as Jules shut the locker door. "Do you know how low that puts me on the school food chain?"
"Yes," Jules said. "But I do not wish to waste my money."
"All right," James sighed and threw his hands above his head. "I guess we will have to be stepped on and ignored by the student body forever."
James left with that and Jules watched him go. He wasn't sure if he wanted to remain an unpopular brainiac but he was sure that he didn't want to waste money. His father had often told him to be careful with his savings.
It would be nice to be popular. Jules thought as he watched all the students walk up and down the halls. Maybe it would improve my chance with the females.
Jules took a step into the busy hallway but as he did a janitor ran over his foot with a wheeled trashcan.
The twelve-year-old yelped and held his throbbing foot. The janitor turned back, after learning that he hadn't run over a book.
"Sorry sonny," the man called over his shoulder. "I didn't see ya there."
Jules just sighed and shook his head. It was times like these that made him feel like he was invisible. It wasn't a nice feeling.
"Maybe life would be more pleasant if I were popular," Jules muttered as he made his way down the halls.
He went out the school through the back door so he wouldn't get stuck in the crowds. Jules had convinced his parents to allow him to walk home since he was almost grown up. It was a freedom he had fought for. Although it took quite awhile to convince his parents that he would never get into an unfamiliar person's vehicle. Ultimately, his mother and father had agreed.
As he walked along the alleyway behind the school, Jules did a crossword puzzle in his National Geographic magazine. He rounded a corner and tripped over a wooden board that was on the ground. He felt himself fall flat on his face and the magazine flew from his hands.
I think I am living proof that uncordination is a genetic trait. Jules thought and suddenly heard laughter to his right.
Tino Hendricks and his gang of male friends were leaning against the school wall. All of them seemed to find the klutzy moment the most hilarious moment in history.
"Nice face plant Jules," Tino remarked as Jules got up. The cool kid then pulled a small red and white box out of his hoodie pocket. Jules watched him pull out a fresh new cigarette and put it in his mouth.
"Wanna cigerrette?" Tino asked and held out one for Jules.
The young genius looked at the cigarette, trying to analyze it with his eyes. He had never been this close to one and had only seen them in commercials. Slowly, he took it out of Tino's hands and examined it more closely. Jules didn't know much about these small items but he did know how to operate it.
Jules put the cigarette in his mouth and blanched slightly. The thing tasted horrible like dirt or burned toast. Tino brought out his lighter and lite everone's smokes. Jules watched the other kids breathe in their cigarettes and blow out gray-colored smoke into the atmosphere. He was a little apprehensive about doing that.
"Come on dude," one boys said after he blew out a smoke ring. "Don't you want to be cool?"
That gave Jules a brainstorm.
If he smoked the cigarette then that would automatically raise his social status. It was perfect.
Jules breathed into the cigarette and blew out a smoke ring.
0 0 0
Jules arrived at the Brown household a little later than he normally did. He had smoked for awhile with Tino and they had admitted him into their group. Before Jules had left, Tino had given him a new pack of cigarettes and said Jules could smoke with them after school.
He wasn't entirely sure if he liked smoking but it did help him become accepted by the cool kids. However, the cigarette smoke made Jules cough a lot and stung his eyes. He had had to stop walking every few seconds to have a coughing fit.
Maybe I will become more accustomed to it as time goes on. Jules thought and continued to hack.
The twelve-year-old went up to the kitchen window and saw that his family was in there. Doc was at the kitchen table with Verne and had a mathematics textbook out. He must be helping Verne with his math homework. Jules saw that his mother was at the other end of the kitchen, sorting through the cupboards.
Jules backed away from the window and headed for the front door. He knew that he could not go in the kitchen in his state or his mother would have a fit. The best plan would be to go in through the front door and travel up the stairs to his bedroom.
Jules turned the knob and opened the front door carefully. He stepped into the house and immediately headed for the stairs. He got halfway up them until he heard his mother's voice calling after him.
"Jules, honey, do you want your afternoon snack?" Clara called from the kitchen.
"No thank you mother," Jules said and rushed up the stairs before further questions could be asked.
Hill Valley, California
October 4, 1992
11:55 AM
Come on focus. Jules thought as he tried to finish off his first exam. For some reason, his brain was not functioning properly and answering the questions was difficult. The twelve-year-old's head hurt like the dickens from the absence of a cigarette.
Before Jules knew it, the teacher told them to stop and that it was time for lunch. He got up from his desk and left the classroom with the other students. He grabbed his lunch out of his locker and herded with everyone else towards the cafeteria.
"Oppenheimer!"
Jules looked to his left and saw James and Kevin sitting at their usual table. Verne was there too and had ketchup all over his mouth. Jules took a step over to them but stopped when he heard someone else calling.
"Jules over here," Tino called. He was at the well-known table reserved for the popular kids. Jules had never been to that table before. It had some sort of force field around it that kept the nerds, geeks, and losers out.
Jules hesitated but ultimately walked over to the Popular Table. He looked back once at his friends and brother and saw that James had this shocked look on his face.
Tino let Jules sit next to him and told him that they were going to smoke again after school.
"I'm not entirely sure…" Jules started, remembering how horrible the cigarette was and how he had nearly coughed up his lungs.
"It's better than going to chess club practice," one of the boys said and caused the others to laugh. Jules faked a chuckle and looked back at James, whom was looking at him mouthing "what are you doing?"
"If you want to be cool you have to hang with us," Tino said and then lowered his voice. "Bring your cig's, we're all out."
Jules just nodded.
0 0 0
Jules sat up in his room trying to study for the next exam. He had yet another one tomorrow and it was really stressing him out. He didn't even have time to work on his science project or come up with new inventions. Giving up, he retrieved the hidden pack of cigarettes from under his bed.
Smoking just didn't seem right in the house so Jules went outside. He stood by the tree fort and lite a match with a little difficulty. The smoke burned his throat again but he was becoming more tolerant of it. Jules was in the middle of breathing in when someone spoke up from behind him.
"What are you doing?"
Jules turned to see Verne standing near the entrance of the tree fort. He had this weird look on his face and Jules immediately took the cigarette out of his mouth.
"Um…nothing brother," Jules lied but Verne was moving closer to him. The pack of cigarettes accidentally slipped from Jules' hands and fell to the ground. Verne picked the little box up and read the words on it. He looked at his brother unfathomable.
"You were smoking?" Verne said. "So that's why you smell like burned toast."
"Cease speaking," Jules snapped and tried to leave but Verne blocked him.
"Mr. Brad told us these slowly kill ya," Verne said. "They turn your lungs all black and then you can't breath and die."
Jules made a grab for his pack of cig's but his brother pulled away. He wasn't really listening to his brother, he was more concerned that Verne would tell their parents.
"Give me those back!" Jules finally shouted.
"No!" Verne shouted back and started running away. "I don't want you to die!"
Jules tried to chase his brother but he found he was so out of breath that Verne easily outran him.
Perfect, just perfect.
Hill Valley, California
October 4, 1992
4:30 PM
"So what's up Verne?" Marty said as the ten-year-old dragged him into Doc's lab. Marty had come over to babysit the boys while Doc and Clara went on one of their romantic outings. The minute Doc and Clara left, Verne had dragged him away.
"Okay listen," Verne began and paused to look left and right. "First, swear that you won't tell my dad or mom what I'm gonna say."
"I swear," Marty said, giving the kid a weird look. Verne jumped up on a chair so he was the same height as Marty.
Verne whispered the secret about Jules to the family friend. Marty ran a hand through his own hair and looked quite concerned.
"He's smoking? Wow, that's heavy," Marty said.
"Yeah so we got to get him to stop," Verne said, he looked quite upset.
"Why don't you just tell Doc," Marty suggested. "He'll definitely put a stop to that."
"I can't tell dad!" Verne yelled incredulously. "Jules would be grounded for eternity and besides, I'm not a tattle tale."
"Okay, okay," Marty said, realizing his mistake. "So what's the plan here?"
Verne then whispered his thought-out plan entitled Operation: No Smoke.
0 0 0
Jules was sitting in front of the television tuned into the National Geographic Channel. He was watching the program without much interest and was sort of half asleep. He finally closed his eyes to take a nap when he was suddenly ambushed.
Marty and Verne were struggling to get ahold of him. The musician grabbed his arms and Verne grabbed his legs and they both began carrying him out of the living room.
"Unhand me!" Jules yelled as he twisted and turned to get out of their hands. No luck.
"Sorry Jules but this is an intervention," Marty said.
"Yeah so don't try to escape," Verne said.
Jules saw that he was being carried into the lab. The DeLorean time machine was already started up and waiting for them. He then was pushed into the front seat with Verne and Marty sat down in the driver's seat.
"I demand to know where you are taking me!" Jules said. How dare they uproot him from the television and shove him in the time machine. What was the meaning of all this?
"We're gonna show you what will happen if you don't stop with the cigarettes," Verne said as the DeLorean hit 88.
Hill Valley, California
November 27, 2002
9:44 PM
Jules got out of the time machine and saw that Marty and Verne had taken him ten years later in time. The farm still looked the same and the lights were even on in the house. But Jules could somehow sense that something was extremely different.
"Come on," Verne said and pulled his older brother towards the house. They all went up to the open kitchen window and looked inside.
Doc, Clara, and an young adult version of Verne were sitting at the kitchen table. They were eating a very late Thanksgiving dinner. Jules didn't see anything odd about that until he realized that he was not at the table.
"Verney will you please take some nourishment to your brother," Doc asked and handed a plate of food to the twenty-year-old Verne.
"Where is he?" Verne asked.
"Where he always is," Clara sighed. Her husband took her hand and squeezed it to comfort her.
Marty, Jules, and Verne removed themselves from the kitchen window and rushed over to the lone basement window. Jules crouched down and looked through the filthy window.
The twelve-year-old saw his future self sitting on a couch in the basement. Jules saw that he had a cigarette in his hand and was puffing away. Also, he looked extremely different.
Future Jules looked horrible. His hair was messy and his face was all wrinkled even though he was only twenty-two. The clothes he wore were all disheveled and probably reeked of smoke. In short, he looked like a slacker.
"You live at home with mom and dad," Verne said as Jules looked away from the window. "And you only work so you can afford pack after pack of cigarettes. Oh, and you don't even have a girlfriend."
Now that was the cherry on top.
Jules put his face in his hands and shook his head to and fro. This was the absolutely worst thing he had ever seen via time travel.
He was absolutely shocked.
Hill Valley, California
October 4, 1992
4:52 PM
Marty drove the DeLorean back to the barn and Jules got out of the time machine. He immediately asked Verne for his pack of cigarettes.
"What?! No way!" Verne cried and held the pack away.
"I'm not going to smoke them," Jules said firmly and crossed his heart. His brother handed him the pack, looking as if he would pounce on Jules if he lite up.
Jules looked at the pack of cigarettes that were responsible for him getting into Tino's popular group.
The pack of cigarettes that were responsible for destroying his future.
The pack of cigarettes that would probably be responsible for causing an early death.
Without a moment of hesitation, Jules emptied the pack on the ground and commenced stomping the cigarettes to death. He stamped and grounded those health hazards into the grass until they were nothing but a big sticky mess. When it was done, he looked up at his brother and Marty.
"Never again," Jules promised.
Hill Valley, California
October 5, 1992
2:44 PM
"Hey Jules!"
Jules turned around and saw that Tino and the others were at their usual place loitering. They all had their cig's in their mouths and were puffing away. Jules stayed where he was.
"You didn't sit with us at lunch," Tino said, blowing a smoke ring into the air. "You went back to your nerdy friends."
"My friends are not nerds," Jules protested. It was true that his friends were graphed on the lower half of the school food chain but still, saying it was mean.
"Whatever," Tino shrugged. "Wanna have a smoke?"
"No thank you," Jules said causing the others to get surprised looks on their faces.
"What? Why not?" one boy asked. "You wanted to be cool remember? And if you want to hang with us you light up."
"I said NO," Jules protested. "Let me inform you that 'being cool' is a personal choice. If I have to smoke with all of you in order to 'be cool' than I chose to remain my low unpopular self. I'd much rather prefer playing chess with James than inhaling poison."
The popular boys looked slightly shocked that the school brainiac had talked to them like that. Nevertheless, Tino started chuckling to himself.
"Once a nerd always a nerd," Tino said and took another hit at his cigarette.
Jules decided to ignore that and turned to leave.
"Oh, and by the way," Jules began as he walked away. "Smoking those things will decrease the chance a girl will allow you to kiss her."
The boys all looked at their cigarettes and removed them from their mouths.
Well that went surpisingly well. Jules happily thought as he headed towards home. I'm not going to bother with the school food chain anymore. Popularity is over-rated and I must use my time wisely. I wonder if father needs help constructing his latest invention…
END