Summary: She's been hurt too many times and now there's a brick wall around her heart that no one seems able to knock down. He isn't perfect... he isn't ideal, but maybe that's exactly what she needs.
Pairing: Brooke/Julian with mention of BL, LP and PJu.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize. The title comes from a new Taylor Swift song entitled: White Horse
Author's Note: This story picks up from 6x12 with a few changes. One.. Peyton is neither pregnant nor sick. Two.. I hate both Owen and Chase so neither of them will be making an appearance in this story. And since I don't really know much about what's going to happen in later episodes regarding all the couples, this will follow my own idea, rather than any spoilers that may be out there.
You Can't Break a Broken Heart - Kate Voegele (Mia)
Chapter One - You Can't Break a Broken Heart
So try you best now baby
Try your best to break me
You can't break a broken heart
No damage you can do now
I'm immune to you now
You can't break what broke apart
The house felt so empty and alone without Sam around blaring her music or complaining about something. Brooke could almost laugh as she realized that the complaints which had initially bugged her, were now something that she genuinely missed.
It had been two days since Sam disappeared and Brooke was starting to wonder if she'd ever come back.
"Still no luck?" Haley guessed when she showed up at Brooke's with two cups of coffee and a bag of bagels.
"No, nothing."
"She'll turn up," Haley tried to reassure, though the words didn't seem to have their desired effect. Instead, Brooke just continued to stare at the coffee cup Haley handed her. Almost as if she was looking for the answer to some unknown question in the murky brown liquid. "Have you gotten any sleep recently?" she asked suddenly.
Brooke replied without looking up, "Some."
Sighing, Haley set her own cup down and walked around the counter to Brooke's side. "If she came back, do you really think that the two of you could overcome what happened?" she gently asked.
"Of course," Brooke said instantly as she finally looked up. "What happened wasn't Sam's fault. Okay, she didn't ask for it to happen, she was just angry and she's never had someone who... it's not her fault," she declared strongly, while Haley released a small sigh of relief.
"I know it's not," the smaller brunette agreed. "I just wanted to know where your head was," Haley admitted and placed a reassuring hand on Brooke's. "She grew on all of us, you know. We'll all keep looking for her and sooner or later, one of us is bound to hear something."
Brooke smiled thinly and pushed back the image of Julian throwing his coffee cup into a garbage can as he walked away.
"I know you all are. Thanks."
---
"So what'd you think of Dixon?" Julian asked as he shuffled some papers around. He'd seemed distracted since they first sat down and Lucas also hadn't missed the way his eyes darted towards the diner doors every couple of minutes. "You gonna sign off on him?"
"I'm not sure." The name sparked his most recent memory of his trip to Los Angeles. Specifically the series of off the wall meetings with an over the top director. "He was interesting," Lucas hedged. "But I'm not sure about all these changes he wants to make to the script," he admitted, excluding the reservations he had about Dixon's cocaine habit.
"The guy loves his drama, but he's usually pretty respectful of a writer's vision," Julian spoke absentmindedly while jotting something down in his notebook.
"Yeah, he said as much when we talked."
"Hmm," Julian replied noncommittally.
The indifference was the last in a series of reasons why Lucas couldn't stand the guy he sat across from. "Listen, is there something else you'd rather be doing right now? Because I was under the assumption that you wanted to make a movie," the brooding blonde stated, finally garnering Julian's full attention.
"The story may revolve around you, Lucas but the world doesn't," Julian replied before shuffling his papers back into a neat stack. "There are other details that need to be taken care of, so that's what I'm doing. Because yes... I do want to make this movie."
"You know, you really are a dick."
"So I've been told," Julian answered, nonplussed. Reaching for his bag, he buried the papers inside and spared Lucas one final glance. "By the way, tell Peyton I said hi."
---
As the hours ticked by, Brooke began to go stir crazy. She hated waiting around for the city cops to come up with some kind of answer as to where Sam had gone. Hated wondering whether she ran away of her own free will, or if the guy who had attacked her had gone after Sam for coming forward with the truth.
And Brooke Davis hated feeling helpless again.
She knew that if she continued to sit around, that she'd probably go crazy with even more worry. So she reached for her purse and locked the door behind her.
You can't break a broken heart. No damage you can do now. I'm immune to you now.
The streets were lonely as she drove alone and listened to Mia's voice on the radio. The song reminded her of the USO concert and the way Sam had laughed and enjoyed herself backstage. It also reminded her of Julian, though Brooke would never have admitted that out loud.
It had been playing in the background as she warned him away from Peyton and Lucas. Still playing when her best friend had walked up and tipped her hand as she showed the slightest bit of jealousy that her ex-boyfriend had been flirting with someone else. And now it played as she found herself driving towards the little Inn on the edge of town.
She needed to argue.. needed to fight... and she knew exactly who her punching bag would be.
There's nothing you can do to me no more. You can't break a broken heart.
Julian ran a tired hand through his hair as the pages on his laptop screen began to blur together.
For over three hours he had sifted through permit request forms, resumes, inquiries and carried on a back and forth conversation with Dixon's assistant. A woman who had long since given up trying to decipher the inner-workings of her boss.
And it was why he dreaded the sound of someone knocking on his door.
There was only one person who would show up at his hotel room unannounced and Julian really didn't feel like dealing with Lucas again.
Not when all their conversations and arguments about the movie were really just masked barbs because of his past with Peyton. Not that Julian didn't enjoy rubbing it in Lucas' nose every chance he got. He figured it was the least he could do after getting punched in the face for something Peyton had or hadn't said.
"I heard you the first time," he tiredly called out as the knocking persisted. Pushing the laptop away, he got up from his chair went to halt the obviously agitated visitor.
Surprise registered in his eyes as he found himself standing face to face with Brooke Davis, rather than her ex-boyfriend.
"Brooke. What are you doing here?" he asked and held the door wider so that she could walk inside.
"Why'd you lie?"
"Excuse me."
"The coffee. I saw you throw it away," Brooke informed as she dropped her purse on the nearest chair.
"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," he denied while standing near the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her follow the movement. "But if that was the best opener you could come up with to get in the door... you should have just said you wanted to see me again. I'd have been glad to invite you in."
"Oh please," Brooke mocked. Suddenly he was wide awake again while the annoyance in her voice had him biting back a smile. "You don't want me anymore than I want you. Flirting is just your way of getting under Peyton's skin," she declared as her eyes dared him to deny it.
Of course she shouldn't have been surprised when he did.
"It's my way of getting something," Julian agreed, grinning. "But I can tell you that our mutual friend is the last thing on my mind right now," he continued, all the while taking a few steps closer. It amused him that she held her ground, another silent dare. "I gotta admit that I like them feisty, so if you don't stop glaring at me like that you'll really turn me on."
Brooke smiled mockingly. "Tell me, producer boy... does this act of yours actually work on girls who aren't emotionally scarred?"
"If you find one, point her in my direction and we'll test it."
"You're a pig."
Julian shrugged, "I've been called worse."
"I don't doubt it," Brooke agreed as the sound of a ringing phone filled the room. "Late night booty call?" she asked, distastefully.
"Says the girl who showed up at my hotel room at midnight."
Rolling her eyes, Brooke asked, "Aren't you going to answer that?" when he made no move to retrieve the ringing object.
"Why would I want to talk to anyone else when I have such stellar company standing right here?" Julian asked back and smiled when she merely kinked her brow. "It stopped."
"It could've been Sam," Brooke declared, sounding suddenly panicked.
"It wasn't Sam," Julian assured.
"You don't know that."
"I do know that," he countered. "Unless Sam's on the west coast, acting as the assistant to a thirty something child who masquerades around like a brilliant film director," Julian said as he retrieved the phone and showed Brooke the number. "Personalized ringers. I knew exactly who was calling."
He watched her stare at the screen as she blinked back tears.
Suddenly she declared "This was a mistake," and began to head for the door. "Sorry I bothered you," Brooke muttered as she breezed past him.
"Don't."
He caught her arm in his hand, watching as her water filled eyes glanced up at him.
Julian wasn't sure what he meant to do, but when he found himself lowering his lips to hers, he was sure that kissing her hadn't been it.
You can't break a broken heart. No damage you can do now.
For a few timeless moments, Brooke allowed herself to sink into the kiss. His lips were soft... tender, despite the grip he had on her arm. As his mouth moved against hers, she felt a tingle travel up her spine. Something that had been noticeably absent every time she and Owen had kissed. Something that she had been longing for during all their playful banter and nights spent at Tric. But something that she never felt, no matter how often she tried to convince herself that she did.
"Stop," she moaned into his mouth as his tongue chased after her words.
"You first," Julian said against her lips before delving deeper. His hands slid up to cup her face, holding her gently as his mouth plundered hers.
We were in love.
Brooke heard her best friend's words and came screeching back to reality. Pulling away as though she'd been scalded, Brooke angrily lashed out. "The last thing I want, and trust me when I say that the very last thing I need, is to have some guy chase after me because Peyton Sawyer said no, first."
Before he could defend himself, she flung open the door and stepped out into the quiet hallway.
He realized then that it wouldn't have mattered what he said, she wouldn't have believed him anyway.
---
Brooke spent several minutes in her car outside the hotel, trying to get her thoughts in order.
Specifically why she'd let Julian kiss her. Especially since he wasn't her type.
Liar, she silently declared.
Confident... gorgeous... apparently caring... he was exactly her type. Or at least he would have been if there wasn't the little detail of his past with Peyton. Something that made him one hundred percent off limits.
Not only would it make things awkward for everyone, but she hadn't been lying when she said she didn't want to get involved with a guy who had once loved her best friend. Who, if recent weeks meant anything, was still in love with said best friend.
Or so Peyton believed when she vented about Julian and the hard time he was apparently giving Lucas.
Something about getting the job done the hard way.
"God, why do I even care?" Brooke asked herself before turning the key in the ignition. She began to shift into drive when she saw Julian hurry out of the building. He held a cell phone to his ear with one hand and used the other to shrug into a jacket. Brooke couldn't help but laugh as she watched him trip on his way to the silver rental he'd been sporting recently. Then she saw him drive off like the devil was chasing him.
She realized then that maybe Peyton wasn't the only girl that he was trying to spend time with. After all, her best friend had mentioned something about Julian having a lunch date with a mystery woman a few weeks before. Maybe he really had gotten a late night booty call, she thought and grimaced at the remembrance that his lips had just been on hers.
---
With little sleep to show for the night, Brooke was cranky as she walked up to her storefront and found Lucas waiting. "Morning," he quietly greeted while Brooke turned her back to open the doors.
"Morning," she returned dutifully.
"Still no luck with Sam?"
"No," she shook her head. "So what's up?" Brooke asked, thinking that his latest problem with Peyton must be something major if he showed up before 8AM on a Sunday.
"Nothing, I just..." Lucas trailed off, watching Brooke drape her coat over the counter. She looks tired, he couldn't help but think. "I know that we haven't really talked lately and I guess I just needed to know that you were doing okay," he said, as Brooke curbed the snarkiness that bubbled forth inside of her.
She knew they hadn't really talked lately,or if they had, it wasn't about her but about the shopping list of problems that Peyton and Lucas found to pick at. In all her life, Brooke had never met another couple who was only happy after someone else had to suffer for it.
But Peyton was her best friend and despite Lucas' recent absence in that department, she couldn't really blame them for phasing her out as they grew closer again. The one thing that did bother her though was their relationship with Jamie. Peyton made no effort towards him and since getting back together, Lucas had rarely seen his nephew. Something that her godson had mentioned a few times in passing when Naley wasn't around.
"I'm fine."
His expression was sad as he looked down at her with blue eyes. "Don't do that, Brooke," he quietly said.
"Do what, Lucas?" she asked as her nerves began to get the better of her.
"Don't pretend with me," he said and leaned towards her. "I know how much Sam means to you and I know that just disappearing like this is killing you inside."
She had to look away as anger and sadness began to meld into one. "I know that you know it, Lucas because you were there for me with Angie," she acknowledged, feeling another tug in her heart as she thought of the precious baby she'd grown so attached to. "But where have you been since then, huh? Where was all this concern when I got attacked right here in this store? Where was all your concern when I basically curled into myself and distanced myself from everyone afterwards?"
"Brooke..."
"No, Lucas... you don't get to explain it away because everyone else made the effort. God, even Nathan came to see me because he knew I was hurting about something," Brooke declared while her emotions began to get the better of her. Then it was as if all the fight inside her just faded away. From one second the next she was just sad and empty. "I will forever be grateful for all your help with Angie. I loved that little girl and I know that you did too. But... that Lucas doesn't exist anymore. At least not for me, he doesn't."
Owen was one thing. Sure he'd hurt her but she also hadn't expected much else from him. At the end of the day he was just a bar manager that she flirted with because he wouldn't give her the time of day. She played with him and he played back. Nothing more or less. But Lucas... he was supposed to be the one person who saw her when no one else did. Or at least he should've been.
Now Peyton was the only one he saw and everyone else disappeared around them.
"I really think you should go."
"No. Brooke, I just... I'm sorry. I know I haven't been a good friend lately, but that's why I'm here now. I want to make things right for you."
Squaring off against him, Brooke held strong when she would've otherwise given in. Beautiful words didn't matter anymore. She wasn't sure that they ever did. "You don't even know Sam and frankly, it's not your job to make sure that I'm anything. So go home to Peyton. I'll deal with this just fine on my own."
But I'll do it by myself, just like I always do.
The words may have been said to Owen but they still rang true.
"Brooke..."
"Just go home Lucas," she tiredly said. "Just go home."