The Shinaides Affair
By Zoram Selrof
Chapter 1: An unexpected invitation
17:45 PM (Japan Time), Friday February the 3rd, 2206…
"… Mwah, hah, hah, hah! Tremble, world! I'm back!"
"Yeah, yeah. How scary, really."
"You wouldn't scare an elephant, even."
"Like Kizamaro said: you do not impress us!"
"Ox is stronger than ya!"
"Now, now."
"Let them be, Gino – kun. You know how this ends up like, anyway, don't you?"
"Buro~! When did ya…?"
"A few hours ago~!"
"Probabilities of mayhem occurring clock at 88%..."
"Trouble, trouble."
"Mwah, hah, hah! Subari~! You've been playing 'round while I was napping?"
"No."
Hoshikawa Subaru (aged 13) directed a skeptical glare at his Wizard War Rock and he formed a broad grin: Subaru sported a middle school uniform and seemed to be slightly over a meter and sixty tall by now in height yet his main facial features hadn't changed much.
"Heh, heh, heh. That means "yeah"! Say it, glass-jerk!"
"Huh? What did you call me? I am Saishouin Kizamaro and you know it!"
Saishouin Kizamaro kept on being the short-heighted guy of the 1 – A class yet his hairstyle and typical glasses hadn't changed: he now looked at War Rock with an offended look.
"Probabilities of a fight erupting clock at 94%..."
"Shaddup, walking P – something!"
"Pedia!"
Pedia, Kizamaro's Wizard, had been muttering aloud when War Rock snapped at him and he looked annoyed.
"Hmpf! A barbarian is, after all, a barbarian."
"That's Moon Disaster's little cousin for ya!"
"Wha~t? YOU say that I have SOMETHING to do with THAT BARBARIAN named MOON DISASTER? Shirogane Luna won't let this barbarian meddle with her pride!"
Shirogane Luna had been acting the unimpressed when War Rock taunted her and her temper began to climb up.
"'Cause "Luna" is "Moon" ya know…" He laughed.
"I knew it."
"What did you know, Mode? Confess!"
"Come on! I just meant that I knew this would end up badly."
Mode rolled his eyes and sighed when Luna looked at her like she was the culprit for the whole mess.
"That doesn't change that Ox can bust 200 Viruses alone!"
"Are ya sure ya don't mean that ya ate 200 pounds of meat while I was napping, Fatman?"
"Ushijima Gonta, you moron!"
Ushijima Gonta seemed to have lost some weight (surprisingly enough) recently: he was now protesting.
"No! I had him eat 200 pounds of vegetables! We don't need a useless Fatman around here who actually goes and copies the homework from Tsukasa – kun when he's on the clinic doing his daily rehabilitation exercises!" Luna brusquely signaled him with her right hand's middle finger.
"Uo~h! It won't happen again, iinchou! I promise!" He pleaded.
"Buro~! Ya always get into a mess!"
Ox folded his arms and didn't seem to like how Gonta was always getting into trouble with Luna.
"Now, now, could we try to avoid a fight?"
"Says Gino Il Napolitano~!"
"Kiboyama Gino, War Rock!"
Kiboyama Gino had slightly messy brown hair and bluish eyes: he appealed as being a few centimeters shorter in height compared to Subaru.
"Come on, War Rock! Let's have the afternoon in peace."
"Says Tsukasi~!"
"Futaba Tsukasa! And you know it! Jeez!"
Futaba Tsukasa kept on having his usual hairstyle and he carried two crutches to assist him while walking: he got a twitch over the right eye when War Rock taunted him.
"Mwah, hah, hah! Now I'm gonna slice and dice 300 Viruses! Take that, Ox, ya slow-witted bull wannabe~!"
"Buro~! Not so fast! I'll beat ya to that!"
"Bring it on, twerp!"
"Buro~! Bring it on, twit!"
"As expected." Everyone (save Rock and Ox) muttered.
18:03 PM (Japan Time)…
"… I am the ghost of the ladies' restroom…"
"Who the heck?"
"Pororon?"
"Not another goddamn blackout!"
"Someone get the lights!"
"I am a - GHOST!"
"No ghosts and no silly tricks! Harp!"
"Pororon! Roger! Shockwave!"
"Whack!"
"Ah! The light's back!"
"Who's that? Hey! Isn't this the replacement reception clerk?"
"Crap!"
"So! You're the new saboteur!"
Hibiki Misora, Harp and Urakata Mamorou had cornered a man on his mid 20s with blonde hair and some unshaved beard wearing night vision goggles in the corridor space directly in front of Misora's own room: the three of them looked annoyed and the man gasped.
"N-no! I'm just…!"
"25000?"
"25000… What?"
"Did the old man offer you that much money?"
"Huh? Yikes!"
"Where did you find that, Suzuka and Ice?"
"Behind the flower pot in the reception…"
Suzuka and Ice stepped into the picture: she was showing everyone an attaché case colored silver which was practically empty save for a check with the number "25,000" written into it.
"Hand that thing over."
Mamorou picked the night vision goggles and examined them only to discover something.
"Huh? What the…! This bloody thing has a micro-camera built into it as well! Conclusion? Paparazzi! Kick the hell outta this pervert! SECURITY~!"
"No paparazzi allowed! Go home!"
"Go home!"
"Let go of me, you!"
Two security guards followed by the security Wizard drove the man out while Mamorou sighed.
"Let's send this to the Satella Police and see if they can pick any fingerprints outta the guy. And it wasn't the record label from the last time but one of those idiotic magazines. Man. They must've wanted to blackmail you, even." He cursed.
"Let them try! I'm a member of the Satella Police's "Raid Troop" after all so they're gonna regret it dearly! My word!" Misora folded her arms and looked indifferent.
"Well said. Let's get back to work. No saboteurs are gonna interfere with us!" Mamorou rallied.
"Roger!"
Misora returned inside of the room and sat down to check on what looked like a song's lyrics' draft given the erasure marks on it and the fact that it was being written in pencil.
"It's been two months ever since we botched the "Operation: Cirrus" staged by that foreign nation… Hyde and his punk have been pretty quiet: I thought they'd dare to show their hide often."
"Pororon! We should be glad, though! That punk is enough to give ya the creeps given how he killed 26 foreigners by Alphabetic order!" Harp muttered with a hint of fear.
"Of course! And those foreigners turned out to be spies for hire required for the main part of the operation but which were then assassinated to ensure that they couldn't leak anything to another employer. What creeps, really! And to think the punk can't be even 16… Either Hyde turned the jerk into that or that Denpa Body did." Misora recalled.
She sat down on the chair and began to tap the lower edge of the desk with the pencil as if she was thinking of something.
"Hmmm… Maybe I can make it be center around the "snow" theme and it'd fit. Let's try to make it good-sounding. And if I'm stuck I can always go talk with Subaru – kun. He gives me ideas."
"Pororon! Got a crush?" Harp teased.
"Huh? Me? A crush? No, no! We're just friends!" She gasped.
"Then, that of Queen Tia – sensei is also…?" Harp asked.
"Eh… No, no. Queen Tia – sensei is… different." She trailed off.
"Huh? I didn't really catch the meaning."
"D-don't worry! No big deal, really…!"
"If you say so… But I can't shake off the impression that there's more to it, really…" Harp muttered.
"Sorry, but I'd rather forget about the topic altogether. Queen Tia –sensei might be somewhat… commanding… from time to time and she may believe she can impose her will over others…" Misora nervously told Harp while seemingly trying to tone it down.
"Pororon! I guess I'd better to give up. See ya!"
Harp warped out of the room and Misora sighed in relief.
Really… Queen Tia – sensei IS a scary person…
18:33 PM (Japan Time)…
"… Going to buy some more vile candies of fats and calories to laugh at me again? Akatsuki."
"Crap. Acid! You said this route was empty!"
"You're becoming predictable, Shidou."
"Jeez."
"So?"
"Sheesh! Stop stalking me and don't come closer to Misora out or in of briefings, Queen Tia!"
Akatsuki Shidou had been seemingly about to sneak out of the WAXA building when Queen Tia showed up behind him while looking dull and skeptical: Akatsuki scolded Acid but he didn't seem to mind the fact to begin with.
"That I can tolerate, yet…"
"I'm not trying to laugh at your face! Come on! It's been about what, one a half year, since the Meteor G thing! And the only thing you've done is behave as an icy person around here! Sure, you've helped Dr. Yoiri and such but you seem to have fun making me look like a food maniac!"
"Hmpf."
"A~h! I can't take it anymore~! Someone bring a hammer and shatter this ice mask once and for all!" He exclaimed out of obvious exasperation by clutching his head.
"Hmpf."
Queen Tia turned tail and walked away while Akatsuki sighed in relief and hurried outside of the building.
"Why doesn't she keep care of Jack? He's got a cold, after all! Go broom the yard and leave me alone!"
Akatsuki cursed under his breath yet Acid remained quiet…
18:20 PM (Japan Time)…
"… Mail… Let's check it out."
"Yo!"
"Yikes!"
CRASH!
"Grah… Rock! I didn't like that one!"
"Mwah, hah, hah."
Subaru had been working on the homework when his Hunter – VG beeped: he'd been about to reach out for it when War Rock suddenly materialized right in front of his noses: he lost balance and crashed into the ground along with the chair: he had to rub his back and groaned as he managed to stand up.
"Grah! Go scatter dust in the river!"
"What's with the face? Ya got a mail from the punk?"
"Wrong! I got an invitation!"
"Oho! Misora is gonna invite you to a date, then? Man! This is your chance!" War – Rock made a smirk.
"Wrong! Misora – chan isn't! It's from the Shinaides Research Lab!"
"Shina - what's – his - name?" War – Rock laughed.
"Sheesh! Shinaides Research Lab! It's one of the most prestigious labs in Japan! They're in Kyoto! I've always wanted to visit it! Dad is friends with the head of it, Professor Shinaides Amedan!" Subaru corrected with some annoyance on his voice.
"Mwah, hah, hah. And you're gonna bring Misora along to let her show her latest make-up?"
"Misora – chan hates make – up!"
"Don't all females wear that?"
"It's a matter of tastes! Now go scatter lilies!"
"Mwah, hah, hah! Wait 'till everyone hears this out: ya and Misora ARE a COUPLE, yessir!"
"WAR ROCK! I'm gonna get angry!"
"Call Angry Man! Wi~!" He suddenly made a pitchy sound.
"What was that?" Subaru frowned.
"Wi~!"
"Oi! What was that, War Rock?"
"You're very clever when it comes to landing! Very clever indeed!" He suddenly laughed.
"To landing what?"
"Your aunt."
"WHAT?" He roared.
"Which is uglier than mine, too!"
"You DON'T have an AUNT!" Subaru grumbled.
"Now I do!"
"No way… Omega – san came up with new trolls and he's telling you to try them out on me or what?" Subaru cursed.
"Yessir! Meitantei Subari~ strikes back! Bring me a bottle of rum and let's sail the eleven seas!" He laughed.
"The seven seas, you mean!" Subaru corrected.
"Wi~! Let's conquer the Empire State! Mwa, hah, hah!"
"What nonsense is that?"
"It ain't nonsense: it's fashion, ya see!"
"FASHION? That ain't fashion! That's mere trolling!"
"As expected of ya, apprentice lawyer!"
"I'm not an apprentice lawyer! Go…"
"…call Kasumi!"
"Kasumi? Who's that?" Subaru frowned.
"Your new over-jealous classmate, yessir."
"There's no – one named "Kasumi" in my class and none of them are over-jealous! Why should they?"
"'Cause ya stole their boyfriends with your looks, ya know…"
"GRFJTX! I've had enough! Flee, foul beast!"
"I only have one wish. To use this foul blade to bury all "Light"!" War Rock quoted from somewhere else.
"What have I done to deserve THIS?"
"Dunno!"
"If you make any idiotic things tomorrow then… Server locking time for you!" He threatened.
"Yikes." War Rock gulped.
"Get it?"
"Alright, alright! I don't wanna spend another two months there!" War Rock gasped.
"That happened because you were acting the idiot and trying to provoke Boss and us. Now shut up and let me write the mail to Misora – chan: I'll then tell dad and mom."
War Rock sighed and shut up while Subaru wrote a reply email and then shut down the Hunter – VG.
An announcement… Maybe it's a new kind of revolutionary project? Man! I'm burning with impatience! I can't wait! Heh, heh, heh! I'll finally get to visit the famous lab…!