She didn't know why she cared.
He was an ass. And a jerk. And a pervert. And a drunkard. And a murderer. She could go on. The list was a long one. He was just a horrible, horrible person.
So why did she care about him?
Why should she care about any of them? Their whole group was one of killers and/or perverts!
But…she still cared about them. They were still people. They cared about her, at least a little. They had saved her life more times then she could count. In more ways than one…
But they had put her thought quite a lot. She always wondered, if she hadn't met Kyoshiro on the road that day, would her life have been…better? Quieter, absolutely. More normal? Of course. She would have known nothing about sword techniques, or auras, or about the Mibu clan. Quiet (for a bounty hunter) and normal (again, for a bounty hunter) but…
Better?
She wouldn't have cried as much. She wouldn't have been scared, or outright terrified. She wouldn't have felt such disgust at the cruelty of people if she hadn't come on this little adventure. She wouldn't have almost died. Multiple times, actually. That was better, right?
It would have been better, to have never met some of the most dangerous samurai in Japan, right? To never have been targeted by their old enemies, or tested by their old friends. She wouldn't have been held hostage, or threatened. She wouldn't have been witnessing their fights and wondering if they would live or die. And if they died, she wouldn't have had to fear that she would be next.
And she wouldn't have felt so useless. She wouldn't have had to have almost every move explained to her while watching a fight. She wouldn't have needed protecting, or saving. She would have been on her own, had she never met Kyoshiro. She would've relied on herself, and no one else. She would have been strong in her own right. She wouldn't have had to let others do the fighting while she worried. She wouldn't have had to wonder if anyone would come out of their fight wounded or dead. She wouldn't have had to pray, and hope, and have faith that they would win, and live.
But…if she had never met Kyoshiro…would she have had anyone to have faith in at all?
The life of a bounty hunter wasn't easy. She might not have lived this long had she continued on that path. But it's possible she might've met someone…settled down…raised a family. But…would that have been…better?
Better to have never felt like there was nothing in her way, because she had a group, a family, that could withstand anything? Better, to have never watched someone completely kick ass and act like it was nothing, because to them, it wasn't? Better, to have never felt like someone could tell her they were going to win, to save her, and believe them with her whole heart and soul? Better, to have never had such unshakable faith in someone, that people thought she could see the future? Better, to have never felt so…safe?
Was that truly better?
It may be hard, and infuriating, and even terrifying at times. But…better? This life, as opposed to the one she could have had? To never have met Kyoshiro, thus, never have met any of the other members of the group she might call a family? Yukimura, Sasuke, Benitora, the Shiseiten…
Kyo…
He was an ass. And a jerk. And a pervert. And a drunkard. And a murderer. She could go on. The list was a long one. He was just a horrible, horrible person.
But...
He was the one who made her feel safe. He was the one who defeated countless enemies in an instant and kept on walking. He was the one who pushed his body and his spirit to the limit to protect her and the group. He was the one she had absolute faith in.
He was…better.
Better than her old life of bounties, and money. Better than having to fight on her own, and tend to her own wounds.
Better than that life of…loneliness.
For all that he was an ass, and a jerk, and a pervert, and a drunkard, and, yeah! Even a murderer!
He was…for her at least…
Better.