Jane and Lisbon had a tough time dealing with their feelings over the past two weeks. Lisbons brother – the one she had no contact with – had been killed by Red John a week ago. He wanted to get closer, to injure people in the CBI team. And he succeeded. Lisbon found refuge in alcohol, as she always did, trying to forget the sorrow. Kristine Frye had been found in motel rooms bathtub filled with her own blood in San Diego, five days ago. It was really hard for Jane, even though he tried to hide it from everyone. Lisbon had shown him her door was open if he wanted to talk about it but she had to deal with her own problems and he never took time to share until this night.
They had suddenly decided to go to different bars and get drunk together – their first time ever – because they could barely work without thinking about their losses. Red John tried to ruin their lives and they didn't want to let that happen, but first, and because they had no lead yet, they drunk alcohol to be brave enough to tell each other how they felt, how much they had pain inside...
But after a moment they started another kind of conversation, more funny and personal. Hopefully for Jane, Lisbon was drunk enough to not hitting him when he asked:
Jane: - Lisbon, are you gay?
Lisbon: - WHAT?
Jane: - Well you never show any sign of attraction for anyone, even when a guy is hitting on you and...
Lisbon: - So you think I'm gay because I'm able to have a private life and to keep secrets from my partners?
Jane: - Come on, I'm sure I would figure it out if you had a crush on someone. And obviously you don't!
Lisbon: - Oh sorry, Mr I-guess-everything-about-everyone but obviously, I can hide things like that, even from you!
Jane: - I have no doubt about it. I just wanted to make sure I was right about it: so you have a crush on someone!
Lisbon: - No! I didn't say so!...
Jane: - Well, it's the same to me. How is she like?
Lisbon: - Why are you so convinced that's a woman?
Jane: - Oh! So THERE IS someone! Thanks for confirmation!
Lisbon: - No...I...I hate you! Shit!... I'm a loser tonight...I think I drunk too much..I wouldn't be that stupid... I know how silly you are!
Jane: - Well, you're right, it's easier to catch you since you're drunk. But I am too so that's pretty fair! So, do I know her?
Lisbon: - Is that because I don't act like I'm in love with you that you think I'm gay? Because you must think most of women should have a crush on you once in their lives, right?
Jane: - I must admit that I do have a good method to get women but...wait! You were joking, right?
Lisbon: - Of course I was! Wow! You're more proud than I thought!
Jane: - Hey! You got me!
Lisbon: - I know. You don't need to be gifted to make people tell truth, you know!
Jane: - But you are, Lisbon!
Lisbon: - No, it's just a matter of work and time for me. It wasn't that easy first! Everything is harder for us, simple human beings, Patrick! Can you please realize that? You may find it simple but to us, it's not! Do you know how it feels like when someone like you is coming over and starts to play with rules, guessing everything faster than you, threatening you to make you lose your job because you are responsible for him and that this new person is more precious than you will always be for the CBI? I do. And I had many problems dealing with you. It was a lot for me but I'm finally done... Even though, please, don't think it was easy.
Jane: - Wow! Sorry, I couldn't imagine how painful I was. I'm not that selfish. I would have change if I knew I hurt you...
Lisbon: - That's alright.. But you could have guess!
Jane: - I have problems to guess things about you...See: I can't figure out if you're gay or not!
Lisbon: - You shouldn't even be asking this question, you know, that's not of your business! But no, I'm not gay.
Jane: - Prove it!
Lisbon: - No...nooo! I know what you're thinking about and I won't kiss you, Jane!
Jane: - I wasn't thinking about it! But if you do it, I would accept it as a proof.
Lisbon: - I said I wouldn't, okay? 'god, why should I even prove anything to you?
Jane: - It's just for fun! And you don't matter: you're drunk! It's time for no limit. Well except that: you don't want to kiss me or a guy in here - they are pretty bad looking tonight so I'll spare you this time!^_^ - so I guess I'd like two things from you to prove me you're not gay!
Lisbon: - I feel like I won't like that but go ahead...
Jane: - I'd like you to...admit you loved Bosco and that you chose to love him because it was easier for you: you hate to make that a relationship works because you just think it doesn't worth it, because according to you, it never lasts enough, because you've never had a great example with your family. You think everything is ephemeral and that it just hurts you too much to even try.
Lisbon: - Is it a psychotherapy, a biography of the desperate Lisbon or are you just trying to make me feel like shit?
Jane: - Calm down Lisbon, please. Just admit it. I just want to make sure. As I told before, when it's about you, I have more difficulties to find things out. I think that's because you're hiding them deeper than anyone I've ever met.
Lisbon: - Is that a compliment? Cause it sounds like it from you, you know!... Yes, I do admit that I kinda loved the fact that he liked me. And I know that's because I always choose the easiest way to do nothing and to get nowhere, to avoid happiness..I'm a coward that is scared of relationships because I had no real example of happiness in my life, because they never last long and it hurts too much when it's over...
Jane: - I'm...sorry. I didn't want you to be sad. I just wanted to...
Lisbon: - To make me realize how much my heart is closed, how many things I missed, how many chances to be happy I just let go, is that what you wanted? I do know that, Jane, I do suffer from that and I do try to get over my huge problem of confidence! Let's talk about YOUR problems!
Jane: - It's okay, Lisbon. I just wanted to know you, to know how you feel. But I see how similar we are. We hide our problems and we need a lot of alcohol to share those we each other...by the way, I find it pretty pathetic!...We could try to change that, together...
Lisbon: - Maybe...I'm real now and I tell you the truth when I say I'm not gay, OK? I just can't start a relationship without thinking I'm going to fuck it up!
Jane: - I get it, it's okay!... But I still want to know who is the person you have a crush on!
Lisbon: - Shit! Well...OK...guess, then!
Jane: - Oh, come on! Don't be mean! I can't figure it out: you're just a big mystery to me, you know it, I told you! - I think I'm actually done with tequila tonight...
Lisbon: - I know! But it makes the whole thing much more challenging for you and funnier for me!
Jane: - So, I'm drunk and blind, yipee!...umm...is that Cho?
Lisbon: - What?... What makes you think it could be him?
Jane: - Well you just admitted you feel love for people that can't give this love back to you. Cho is engaged - as Bosco was married - and he has something mysterious with his gang-member story, his self-control: the thing you like the most in him..
Lisbon: - You're really funny, Jane...
Jane: - Well, I guess it's not him!...Who else is not available?...
Lisbon: - Come on, Jane... You know him, he has difficulties to get over his past to find love because he doesn't want to fuck up another time. He's scared that people get hurt because of him. It sounds like my problem but it's his too. He's been through really hard moments and he can't share this part of him, he can't show his weakness, not until...
Jane: - ...Red John get caught and killed...
Jane looked upset and sad, really sad...
Lisbon: - I'm sorry if I've been injuring. I just couldn't bare the fact you only talked about my problems and not about yours! I was mad and I probably crossed a line of respect. I apologize.
Jane: - ... That's alright. I guess... So... do you really have a crush on me or is it a kind of joke?
Lisbon: - I guess you'll never know. I'm logically too drunk to be logical!
Jane: - And I'm too drunk to understand your not-understandable – does that word even exist? - speech. But...can I have a kiss?
Lisbon: - Jane !
Jane: - What? Look at us! We drunk like fishes! We won't even remember it!
Lisbon: - Alright... I usually have the memory of a red fish the morning after! C-;
They finally kiss.
And the day after, Jane still remembers it.
He keeps it secret. His own and precious secret! C=