A Wrong Thing to Say

Agron finally had time to think, but his thoughts were disturbing. That word! How, by all the gods, could he have been so stupid as to use that word? It echoed in his head, giving him a painful headache. If he had been on the battlefield or carrying out a mission for their cause, the word would have been appropriate. Daring to use it on Nasir was anything but that. It was a mistake, and Agron knew it. But then again, he spoke a lot of foolish talk of late. The worst part was that Nasir had to shame him so he could see what a fool he was being.

The whole thing started with the arrival of those Silician shits. All the men among the rebels knew that Nasir was Agron's man, and none dared to overstep their attentions to the young Syrian...that is, none that would ever be of a mind to. One among the pirates, however, carried no such restraint. He found Nasir attractive and had no problem showing how he felt. Agron's first encounter with the pirate, Castus by name, did not go well for the pirate but Agron felt no guilt in how he reacted. When he entered the room where everyone was in a celebratory mood, he clearly saw the pirate lay hands on Nasir in an attempt to keep him from leaving. No one could lay hands on Nasir without consequences.

When Spartacus broke up the fight between Agron and Castus, which the pirate was losing badly, the enraged former gladiator stormed away with blood in his eyes. Nasir followed and quickly calmed his lover down by explaining the misunderstanding. Castus had overstepped, true enough, but Agron's reaction had been over-zealous. This led to Agron declaring that he would battle anyone, even the gods, if they tried to take Nasir from his arms. This in turn led to Nasir's assurances that no one could do such a thing, as Agron was the only one who held his heart. Nasir then showed Agron how true his words were...a thing that was equally returned by Agron for Nasir.

This should have been the end of the problem concerning Castus, but alas it was not. Even though Agron was forced to deal with the pirates, and that included Castus, since he appeared to be the leader's right-hand man, he never failed to show his displeasure being around them. He was content, however, knowing that Nasir made a promise to him to avoid Castus during their stay in the city, right after they made love that very night after the fight. Agron suspected the promise was only made to quell his concerns, but it was taken to heart. It didn't matter to Agron why the promise was made, as long as it was kept. Then the relief Agron felt over Nasir's promise turned to shit.

How was Agron to know the true reason behind Castus and Nasir's joint arrival while looking for their leaders on this one day that Crixus lost control of himself and went mad with blood-lust? The emergency was too immediate for Agron to pause and inquire why his lover was standing right next to his would-be rival. He only had enough time to order Nasir to keep an eye on the Silicians...making sure to toss a barely veiled insult about Nasir favoring their company. He had no time to witness the irritated look on Nasir's face as he glanced at Castus on his way out the door. Nor did he see the pain that Agron's suspicions caused him.

Once the madness of unbridled slaughter of the Romans by Crixus, Naevia, and his people was finally brought under control, things quieted down. Tensions ran high among the rebels, happily fostered by the disguised Roman, Caesar. It offered only one benefit for Agron. The conflict gave him all the excuse he needed to remain away from Nasir and their bed. He told himself that he had no choice. Spartacus needed him. The truth was too painful to contemplate. He felt betrayed and had no desire to confront Nasir about it. He refused to admit to himself that what he feared most was that he was right...that Nasir felt something for the Silician. Agron knew he was not a man that could share his lover with another. If Nasir did favor Castus too, then he knew he would lose the fucking Syrian for good. It was a thought Agron was not prepared to face. And so, he let his feelings fester.

The next day brought a tense calm over the city. Nasir awoke alone in their bed and hurried away to where Spartacus had set up his headquarters. His hope was in finding Agron, but he found only Spartacus and Lugo. The two men were given the task of gathering all the dead Romans into one central location. It was there that Nasir finally saw Agron some hours later. Spartacus arrived with Agron behind him to instruct the two men in what needed to be done with the bodies. As Spartacus and Agron were leaving, Nasir tried to get Agron to stay long enough for them to talk. Agron was clearly not ready, telling his lover that he had neither the time nor the desire to stay, even going so far as to suggest that Nasir find Castus instead. There was nothing Nasir could do to change things...he had a job to do and returned to it as Agron left.

All of this led up to Agron's unconscionable mistake. It was hours later before Nasir saw Agron again. Nasir was helping Laeta and the few surviving Romans, providing them with food and water, when Agron walked past while completely ignoring Nasir. Nasir begged a moment of his time, but again Agron rebuffed him and tried to hurry away. It was the last straw. Nasir accused Agron of running away from a fight. Agron let his anger out. He, in turn, accused Nasir of breaking trust with him. Nasir protested that he had done no such thing. That's when Agron said it...he accused Nasir of being with Castus after he had "commanded" him to stay away from the man.

COMMANDED! It was a red flag in front of a raging bull. The thing...the very thing that had brought them together, his freedom from slavery, was being ripped away from Nasir by that one simple word that flew from Agron's mouth. In battle, Nasir would willingly follow any command made by Agron, or any of the leaders of the rebellion, but this was a personal thing. It was as if Agron had struck a mortal blow to the very heart of Nasir. Nasir's reaction was immediate and volatile. He harshly reminded Agron that he no longer wore the collar of a slave and would not ever put it on again...not even for Agron.

Agron was too caught up in his own fears of losing Nasir that he didn't even recognize his grave mistake in that moment. He did try to calm Nasir down, but he declared that Nasir would have been just as angry with him if he had broken a promise made. That finally gave Nasir the chance to explain how he came to be with Castus in the first place, making a point of the fact that he and the pirate didn't even have time to speak to one another in their search for their leaders. Agron questioned whether he should believe Nasir's story and received a response that literally knocked the wind out of the blustery gladiator. Nasir simply declared that he would believe Agron...in all things. It wasn't just the words that impacted Agron...it was the look on Nasir's face. Agron knew immediately that he had been in the wrong all along. In that moment, he knew that Nasir was his and that he owed him apologies.

Agron would have done so if not for another emergency that reared its ugly head before thoughts could be gathered. A group of Roman advance scouts were spotted outside the city walls. Rebellion among the ranks festered again as Agron and Nasir rushed to the main gate of the city. There was no time for talk as everything changed on this singular day. First the Roman prisoners were released so that Spartacus could pursue his plans to escape from the threat of Crassus and his army outside the city. Agron and Nasir each had their duties to attend to in order to accomplish those plans. Neither knew the mortal danger they were in because of the spy, Caesar, who was ready now to put his plans in motion to retake the city from the rebels. With the help of the pirates, minus an unaware Castus, the Romans were able to breach the defenses of the city.

A fearsome, furious battle waged as Roman soldiers invaded the city, driving the rebels out. During the battle, Agron and Nasir were separated. Once Agron met up with Spartacus again to reveal the treachery of Caesar, he frantically inquired about Nasir's whereabouts. When no one could tell him, he announced loudly that he had to find him. His desperate search led him to an alleyway where Nasir was fighting for his life against the Romans. He had just been saved from a Roman sword by Castus, but Agron only saw a Silician traitor. He attacked Castus, but was stopped just before slicing the man's throat by Nasir's shout that Castus was aiding him. Agron had learned the hard way to trust Nasir, although he was sorely tempted to follow through with his blade's intent. There was no time to debate the issue. He chose to accept what Nasir said, but warned Castus not to take up any other weapons. He would allow Castus to live, but only as a prisoner.

And now, at this day's end, with little hope of survival facing the rebels and their followers, Agron at last had the time to face the event that nearly severed his relationship with Nasir. They were no longer living in some comfort within the walls of the Roman seaside city. They were now forced onto a snowy ridge of a mountain...with Crassus and his army behind them, happily ensconced within the city, and a deeply dug trench across the entire ridge in front of them. Any attempts to get to the other side of the trench was met with death from the wooden wall built on the other side of the trench and manned by more of Crassus's men.

To make matters worse, the cold seeped into one's very bones. That didn't mean anyone still able to perform tasks could hide away in their shelters. Tasks had to be performed to settle in first. As the moon rose that first night on the ridge, Agron retired to the tent reserved for he and Nasir. After cleaning himself off from the results of the battle and forced trek onto the ridge, he arranged their bedding while waiting for Nasir to join him, being grateful that he would feel Nasir's body next to his again after the debacle of the previous night. He now had the time to take in all the events that had led him to the state he was in at this very moment...feeling angry at himself for what had transpired between himself and the man he knew he loved more than his own life.

Agron knew in his heart that Nasir was being totally honest with him. If he said that there was nothing between he and Castus, then that was truth. He had no reason to trust Castus, but Nasir had never given him reason to doubt his word. Agron also knew that it was his own irrational fear of losing Nasir that prompted his jealousy. The fault lay in his own mind. For that, he owed deep apologies, but that was not the thing that disturbed Agron's thoughts the most. When he had used the word, 'commanded' against Nasir, he had ripped the fabric of their relationship. It had never been based on master and slave...or even leader and follower. It was true that Agron always appeared as the alpha male between the two men, but that was only for public eyes and only when it dealt with the rebellion itself. Behind closed doors, they were equals. Or, had been until Agron said what he did. A simply apology would not suffice for that offence.

The hour was growing late when Nasir finally appeared at the opening to their tent. The snowy wind entered with him. He hurriedly tied the flaps together in an attempt to shut out the cold. Agron sat on their bedding with his back to the entrance. His head was bowed, as if asleep. Nasir wondered if exhaustion had overtaken Agron. It was possible after what they had all gone through this day. Nasir was just relieved that Agron had not chosen to sleep somewhere else as he had the night before.

They had not really had the chance to come to terms with what transpired earlier, and Nasir still felt the sting of what Agron said to him, but being so close to Agron again was relief enough for Nasir for now. Nasir quietly removed his soiled clothing and washed himself. He decided he would help his sleeping warrior settle under their blankets and then join him. They could talk tomorrow, if they were able.

"The hour is late. I waited. I have need to break words...if you are of a mind," Agron requested humbly.

Nasir was startled.

"I thought you at rest with dreams to comfort you, Agron. This day brought much sorrow and misfortune to us all."

Agron turned around to face his lover. With the dim light of their candles, Nasir saw the dark clouds in Agron's eyes. Was he still angry at him, he wondered.

"Yes, many wounds were inflicted this day, but not all by fucking Romans. I fear that I am guilty of inflicting great wounds and must do what is needed to bring about healing." Agron paused, then looked straight at Nasir with pleading in his eyes. "I doubt my skill to make right the wrong I have done you."

Nasir instinctively knew what Agron was thinking of. He had not failed to notice the look on Agron's face for that brief moment in time before they were called away to deal with the Roman menace. In that very instant, Agron recognized how wrong he had been in doubting his lover. Nasir had a decision to make. He could punish Agron for his doubts and lack of trust if he was of such a mind, or he could ease the guilt that showed so clearly in Agron's voice. For a man of Nasir's temperament, there was no real choice. He settled himself on the blankets facing Agron. Taking Agron's face between his hands, ones that were once smooth from lack of physical labor and now roughened by hard training and warfare, Nasir stared intently into his lover's eyes.

"What skills you lack with words, you abundantly possess in heart. Your heart is no stranger to me, Agron. But speak it, if you must, and I'll know it to be true."

Agron took a deep breath and spoke his heart.

"By all the gods...never will my tongue insult you again. It will be torn from mouth and fed to dogs if it not be so. You are not my equal, Nasir. You are my better. I..."

Agron got no further. Nasir's lips silenced him. When Nasir sat back, Agron tried to speak again, but this time Nasir's palm covered his mouth.

"Cease such foolish words. We are equals...in all things. You have your strengths...I, mine. You have your weaknesses...I, mine. We share our love for both. And now time for words is ended. My bed turned cold minus your warmth. Remedy that and all is forgiven."

The welcoming smile that Nasir gave Agron with his words was like a soothing balm to a painful wound. Agron held Nasir's hand tightly to his mouth and kissed his palm. He then removed it and reached for his lover. The couple embraced, Agron falling back onto the blankets, pulling Nasir on top of him. It took only seconds for the men to remove their undergarments. The cool air that filled their tent was quickly forgotten as naked bodies rolled back and forth, clinging tightly together as kisses rained down on faces, necks, shoulders, chests...each pair of nipples getting equal attention. It didn't take long for their need for each other to overwhelm them.

Their brief time apart had made them hungrier than usual for what they gave one another. They worked feverishly to prepare themselves so that they could be joined again, as if they had been starving for years, rather than a day. As Nasir's body opened up and accepted Agron inside his warmth, the sounds of their lovemaking filled every corner of their tent. They were awash with feelings too intense for them to verbalize in coherent words. But if anyone overheard them, they would be aware that two were now one. Neither man wanted it to end, but the tide had crested. The wave of pleasure swept them away until Agron spilled inside his beloved as Nasir filled Agron's hand. They kissed, gently nipping at lips, until they came to realize how cold the air was around them. They hurriedly slipped between the thick furs laid out below them and took their usual positions...Agron wrapped tightly around Nasir's body in a loving embrace. If they had known what trials awaited them, they might have held even tighter to each other. And yet, on this night they were at peace and that was all they knew. They fell into peaceful slumber. Tomorrow would come soon enough, and they would face it together...as equals.

The End