A/N: So, what up dudes? This was originally a rather loose appropriation of Jane Austen's Emma which I wrote for English, but the stimulus we were given just screamed Arthur, so I couldn't help but write it with that in mind, and then re-name half the characters and post it here. I hope you like it as much as my teacher hopefully will. Enjoy!
The Perilous Nature of High Horses
Arthur Pendragon strode confidently into Pendragon Holdings Corporate's big shiny office building. His confidence was not surprising as he was young, good-looking and the boss' son. Not to mention obscenely well aware of how young, good-looking and boss'-son-like he was. As was everyone else.
"Master Pendragon!" the lobby secretary cried archaically as Arthur strode to the concierge desk. "Your father wants you to go to his office straight away. Oh, and he said that you were to have a quick skim of these." She carefully placed a manila folder with some documents in front of Arthur and flashed him the biggest smile she could muster. He winked back, absent-mindedly grabbed the folder and swanned over to the enormous chromed lift, thoroughly enjoying all the swooning young women.
Fresh out of obscenely expensive and exclusive private schooling with a school captaincy, rowing medal, 8th grade piano certificate and assorted other accolades to plaster on the resume he'll never have to write, Arthur headed straight into his father's rather large company where a rather cushy job and a plush secretary awaited him. Life was good.
Merlin Emrys stumbled into the foyer of Pendragon Holdings Corporate's big shiny office building after a quite frankly embarrassing tussle with the revolving door. He was already ten minutes late and, looking at all the other Suits in their polished shoes and wanky briefcases, he became woefully aware of just how badly his tie was done up.
The lobby secretary looked at him with morbid curiosity, wondering what in the name of all things well-dressed he was doing picking himself off the marble floor of her lobby.
"Hi, I'm – uh, I'm Merlin Emrys. I'm here for work experience."
"Oh."
"Yeah, um, sorry I'm late. I got on the wrong bus and then it was late and then I got lost and then the revolvi—"
The secretary raised a single finger to silence him. She then beckoned to a young lady in a skirt-suit and whispered something in her ear. The lady then turned to Merlin, said "follow me" and swanned over to the enormous chromed lift. Merlin struggled to keep up.
It had taken a hell of a lot of effort for Merlin to get his work experience at Pendragon Holdings Corporate.
He hoped he hadn't already cocked it all up.
After a brief and to-the-point meeting with his father, Uther Pendragon: CEO of Pendragon Holdings Corporate, Arthur was positioned in an office that had been recently vacated by a senior member of the company. So, naturally, the view from the wall-sized window overlooked the obscenely picturesque city landscape, and there was enough space in the office to race elephants if he so desired to. Which there'd be absolutely no problem with if Arthur so desired to do such a thing; Boss'-son-ness commanded a degree of instant respect. But instead, he settled down in his high-backed leather whirly chair and proceeded to have an invigorating game of Solitaire on his computer.
"Ah, Arthur," a bottle-blonde Skirt-Suit said as she entered his office, "Nice to see you're settling in nicely. I'd like to introduce you to your secretary."
Arthur reluctantly stood up from his incredibly cushy chair and followed the woman into the small room attached to the front of his office.
"Arthur, this is Gwen," she said, gesturing to the brunette secretary seated at the desk. Gwen waved slightly awkwardly, and Arthur responded with his trademark dazzling, orthodontically-assisted smile. "If you need anything, Gwen will be here for your immediate assistance."
Suddenly, the door opened, and a young man with an excessive and worryingly unstable pile of papers entered.
"Oh, and Gwen's been given a work experience kid to preside over. Try to humour him." The Skirt-Suit smiled icily and left.
"So, you're the boss' son, huh? Must be pretty exciting, huh? This place is crazy big, I must say. I got lost three times trying to find the bathroom. And you should have seen the bathroom! It had carpet! Who carpets a bathroom? Seems a bad idea if you ask me…"
No matter how many subtle hints Arthur directed at the jabbering work experience boy, Merlin something-or-other, he simply refused to shut the hell up. Arthur grabbed a folder off his desk at random, pushed it towards Merlin, and told him to photocopy it. Anything to get him to go away.
"Uh, sir?" Merlin said timidly, even raising his hand slightly, as he glanced at the contents of the folder, "are you sure you want me to photocopy these documents?"
"If I didn't want you to photocopy them I wouldn't have told you to photocopy them."
Merlin paused, and looked back down at the documents in his hand. "It's just that…"
"Just go."
Merlin scarpered off to the print room.
Bored and unwilling to acknowledge that he might have to be doing something right now, Arthur walked over to where his secretary was sitting for a bit of a chat.
Gwen had put the cap back on her bottle of nail polish and was waving her left hand around to encourage the paint to dry before the phone rang again when Arthur casually leant against her desk.
"Hey," he said, his tone even more casually than his desk-lean
"Oh, hi! I wasn't… I was just…" Gwen replied hurriedly, trying to cover up her bludging. Truth to be told, there wasn't much to for her to do except do her nails, play Minesweeper and wait for her boyfriend to text her back.
Right on cue, her mobile buzzed. Embarrassed, Gwen checked the message, smiled, and typed back her response.
"From someone special, eh?" Arthur enquired, tossing his head back in an attempt to simultaneously rearrange his fringe and look sexy.
"Oh yeahhh!" Gwen said enthusiastically, gearing into gushing mode. "My new boyfriend. We've only been dating for a week, heh. His name's Lance and he's such a sweetie! Look, I've got a photo here…" Gwen flicked through her iPhone and showed Arthur a photo of a moderately attractive man with his arm around Gwen. Arthur wrinkled his nose. Definitely not his type at all.
"Uh, yes, charming. But I think you could do much better."
"Oh?"
"Oh yes. While this Lance fellow seems perfectly quaint… that blonde fellow there in the background looks like a much better catch." Arthur pointed to a rather dashing-looking man in the background. Flippant blonde hair, well-defined cheekbones and a very sexy expression on his face.
"Oh, Bradley? He's nice and all, but—" Gwen didn't have the heart to mention that the man in the background looked uncannily similar to Arthur. In fact, if Gwen didn't know better, she'd swear they were twins. He definitely is love with himself, isn't he? she thought.
"But nothing. He's clearly the more attractive man. Go for him, not this other bloke."
Feeling content and accomplished, Arthur sidled back into his office, only to be faced with Merlin sitting in his very comfortable whirly chair, who was wearing an intense look of disapproval on his face. Taken aback by such a blatant display of undeserved opinion, Arthur could do nothing but ask him what the hell he thought he was doing.
"I was listening to your conversation with Gwen. You have no right to tell her who she should and shouldn't go out with. She clearly really likes this Lance bloke, so you should leave her alone to do what she wants."
"Oh sod off, you petulant child," Arthur replied, sounding not unlike a petulant child himself.
"I have a name, you know. It's Merlin Emrys. Use it for a change."
"How about I don't, Emrys?"
"You're such a prat."
"And you are an idiot. Now get out of my chair before I ensure you are permanently banned from this building."
Merlin blushed and scurried back to his filing.
Feeling that his morning's lack of work had earned him a little break, Arthur walked (well, lift-ed) down to the building's cafeteria for a coffee and maybe one of those little cakes he was so partial to.
"So, we're going in for the takeover then, ey?" a man who Arthur didn't know whispered very loudly at him as he walked past on his way back to his office with a coffee and one of those little cakes he was so partial to. "The Big Man Upstairs has been keeping that under wraps, the cheeky dog."
Arthur had no idea what he was blithering on about.
Back in his office, Arthur resumed his seat, took a bite out of his little cake and checked his email. One new email from his father.
Arthur,
Is there a reason why sixteen copies of the Japanese Takeover brief you were given this morning were found lying about in the 17th floor print room? The Post-It Note said 'keep this to yourself' for a reason.
Uther Pendragon
CEO, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
Not hesitating for more than a second, Arthur tapped out a reply.
Father,
Work experience boy is hopeless.
Now have 66 copies of my To-Do list. In goldenrod.
Detain him from print room until further notice.
It's for the greater good.
Arthur Pendragon
Junior District Manager, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
He cast his eye over to the other side of the room, where Merlin was re-filing the contents of a filing cabinet, with the deranged idea that it would be much more efficient to sort them by date and importance rather than alphabetically.
Pleased with his own efforts, Arthur polished off the little cake and started a new game of Solitaire.
"I am so, so sorry about photocopying that top secret document. I had no idea it was a top secret document, I swear!"
Arthur motioned for Merlin to shut the hell up. Honestly, if he had to put up with the idiot for the rest of the week, this motion alone would give him RSI.
There was a very awkward silence as Merlin went back to filing and Arthur resumed his fourteenth consecutive game of Solitaire. Damn, that game is addictive.
After a while, Merlin broke the silence.
"So how are you going with the presentation to the Japanese delegates?"
"The what?" Arthur replied, managing to simultaneously be polite and rude.
"The presentation to the Japanese delegates. How's it going?"
Arthur stared at him blankly.
"You know… you're supposed to convince the Japanese why taking over their company is a good idea? It was in that top secret document I plastered the building with."
"Oh yes, that…" Arthur opened up his email.
Father,
Since when was I spoonfeeding propaganda to the Japanese Delegates?
Arthur Pendragon
Junior District Manager, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
Arthur,
Since you were given a briefing on it, a series of documents in a manila folder, the minute you walked in the building. Which your work experience child proceeded to unwittingly inform everybody of.
Uther Pendragon
CEO, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
Father,
Oh, must have misinterpreted the document.
Why do I have to do it? Hazing the new guy?
Arthur Pendragon
Junior District Manager, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
Arthur,
You're terribly good at talking people into getting what you want. Your job, for example.
So put your skills to good use and get the goddamn Japanese on my side.
Uther Pendragon
CEO, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
Father,
Yes, sir.
Arthur Pendragon
Junior District Manager, Pendragon Holdings Corporate
So. That presentation to the Japanese delegates.
Arthur reasoned that it wouldn't take more than an hour, tops, to thrash out a winning presentation, and so his time could be far better utilised.
And so began his fifteenth consecutive game of Solitaire.
"So, how's the presentation going?" Merlin asked as he placed another cup of coffee on Arthur's large oak desk. An hour and a half earlier, which had been forty-five minutes before Arthur had planned to leave the office, Arthur had decided to start the presentation.
"Shut up, that's how."
Merlin, against his superior's will, glanced at the computer screen.
HOW TO GET THE JAPANESE TO AGREE TO A TAKEOVER:
- We are awesome and they want to be awesome (needs more development)
- Promise them lots of money they won't get (might not work)
- ...
- …
- Hand out free sushi and harpoon them when they're not looking (I don't know, leave me alone)
- I hate this I hate this I hate this make this stupid presentation go away!
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
"I can see you have put a lot of effort into this presentation," Merlin said dryly.
"Shut up, Emrys."
"I like the heading font. How much time did you waste looking for it?"
"Please shut up."
"Not only have you almost finished it…"
"Oh why won't you shut up?"
"But they'd have to be stupid not to agree to the merger with these sorts of winning arguments."
"I can't believe you won't shut up. Go home. It's past your bedtime."
"I resent the bedtime remark, but yes I am about to leave."
To make this point clearer, Merlin picked up his bag and jacket from the rickety chair he had draped them over.
"So when do you have to present this?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Sucks to be you."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: shut up, Emrys."
As soon as Merlin had walked out the door, Arthur proceeded to bash his head repeatedly against the table. This was no fun at all.
The next morning, Arthur stood rather sheepishly, um-ing and ah-ing in a wholly unprofessional way, as he worked through his worryingly short PowerPoint presentation. Three Japanese men in impeccably neat suits sat around a large mahogany desk staring at Arthur, all wearing identical expressions on their faces that Arthur hoped to god wasn't mild confusion. Arthur couldn't bring himself to look at his father's stony expression.
"And, in summary, that concludes the presentation. Now, are there any questions?" Hopefully most of them could be palmed off to his father, and Arthur could get the hell out of the suffocatingly large conference room. Maybe he should call Gwen and tell her to have an extra large plate of those little cakes he was so partial to ready when he returned to his office.
The delegates turned to each other and jabbered among themselves in rapid, impenetrable Japanese. After much heated discussion they turned back to Arthur.
"We… do not see why we should join your company," the man who presumably spoke the best English said, enunciating slowly and clearly.
"Well, you just sat through and entire presentation on why you should," Arthur responded, laughing nervously. "I can go through it again, if you like. Maybe we could get a translator in…"
"No, we could understand your slideshow. We believe it was just… how you say… entirely unconvincing. We would like to leave now, if you please. Thank you gentlemen for giving up your time for this exercise." And, on that note, they stood up, bowed and left.
Oh, bollocks.
Arthur turned to his father for the first time, and gave him his best 'sorry, I buggered that all up. Give me another chance?' look. His father smacked him across the back of the head and walked out the door. He hadn't uttered a single word. He didn't need to. His expression alone said everything.
You screwed up. Big time.
Merlin stared out the window and down to the carpark below. It was almost time for him to go home, but the pouring rain made him reluctant to leave just yet. Suddenly, movement down in the carpark caught his attention. Arthur ran across the carpark with his jacket over his head towards a very new-looking BMW that presumably belonged to his father, which proceeded to pull out and drive away before Arthur could get in. This was the second time since the failed presentation Merlin had watched this happen. Sure, Arthur was a complete and utter egotistical prat, but not even he deserved such a harsh cold-shouldering.
Arthur swore as the BMW sped off into the distance. Not again. Not a-bloody-gain. He had definitely screwed up. Big time. All this failure business was a new and entirely scary position for Arthur to be in, not having cast a single thought to its possibility before. Did it always make people feel like this? It was horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible.
He mused that it probably wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't being so horribly cold-shouldered by his father. Then at least there'd be the rational thought that he was just blowing it all out of proportion.
But no. Uther bloody Pendragon made it all too clear that he had grossly overestimated his son's ability. And so had everybody Else. Including Arthur. He felt like he was going to be sick.
If only it would stop bloody raining.
"You look wet. Have an umbrella." Arthur spun around to see Merlin standing at his elbow, holding an umbrella that would definitely not satisfactorily accommodate two people. But what the hell, Arthur was desperate.
"So, have you come to gloat? You were right, I'm a prat with a big head full of hot air. I hate this. I hate everything. Please don't be too harsh with your berating; I don't think I could take it."
"I never said you had a big head full of hot air. That's good, though. I need to remember it for next time."
"Oh shut up."
"You tell me to shut up one more time and my umbrella and I will run away and leave you here to get even more wet. I'm trying to be nice, you dolt."
"Oh."
The only one who'd lend him an umbrella in the rain. In hindsight, maybe Merlin wasn't so hopeless.
Yes? No? Why? Review? Thanks guys!
Also, I've got another fic idea (hopefully something that won't end up as a oneshot for a change), which will also be an appropriation of a text I'm doing in English at the moment. Who's interested? Let's just hope I don't give up on it, like I've done in the past :P
- Lacrima