So this is a little bit bittersweet, but leaning more towards the sweet in my opinion. It's a melloxmatt that I've been wanting to do forever. This was the original concept for my story, A Bond Like Ours, but as you can see, that didn't happen. XP

WHAT I WOULD DO

Summary: I know he knows how I feel, but I'm thankful he never brought it up. Because he wanted things to stay the same almost as much as I did. MelloxMatt (kinda sweet)

I know that he knows.

I mean, I'm sure that it's kinda obvious with the way I moan out his name in the middle of the night as I dream about things that never would be.

I've always known that I talk in my sleep. I've always done it. So I really didn't have any choice when I started to fall for him. Maybe if we hadn't shared a room then he wouldn't have found out, but then again he probably would have found out some other way. I'm not exactly the most subtle person.

But I'm glad that he's never brought it up.

He's had plenty of chances to. I probably would have by now if I were him, but he hasn't. Not once. Oh, he's given me the occasional odd glance. You know, the one that says 'I know how you feel', but he doesn't say anything about it.

I've never been more grateful to him for anything else. Because I know that he's straight.

I could never be the one for him. I've always known. Even before I knew what this feeling was, I knew he was straight. He's never even once given another guy a second glance, never been just simply curious either. I know, because he would have told me if he was.

We've been together since we were little kids. He knows everything about me and I know everything about him as well. Even our names and birthdays, something that we had been sworn to never reveal when we first arrived here at Wammy's. But I trusted him. I trusted him with my life.

I think that's why he doesn't say anything, why he just ignores the loving stares I aim at him, or the moans I unconsciously let slip out in the middle of the night. Because, just like me, he doesn't want anything to change between us, either.

When he left, I waited patiently. I knew that one day he would come back for me, not because he ever returned my feelings, but because I belonged to him. I still smiled and laughed with the other prodigies, but even they could sense that I never really gave it my all like I had with him. I knew this was only temporary.

After two years, I didn't have to wait any longer. He finally came back for me. When I was out walking on one of the few trips the Wammy children took, he just rode up one a motorcycle and stopped beside me. When he took off the helmet and pointed to the seat behind him with only the words, "Get on." I didn't even hesitate. I swung my leg over and grabbed onto his middle as he handed me a second helmet and we rode off. I never even looked back.

I did everything he asked without question. Sometimes he would explain himself, sometimes he wouldn't, but I never really cared. I would have done anything for him and he knew that.

I think that was why he did it for me. He told me about the plan to kidnap Takada and without even hearing the words, I knew that it was a suicide mission. We wouldn't be coming back. I only smiled and told him that I would have everything ready.

He had given me a strange look that I wasn't able to decipher before he stood and stalked closer to me, gently taking my face in his hands and pressing his lips against mine.

I wasn't stupid. I knew that he didn't love me or was even attracted to me at all. He was only doing it for me, because he knew how badly I loved him. But as he made love to me that night and whispered over and over how much he cared and loved me, I let myself pretend that it was true.

The next morning we smiled even as we took off, he on his bike and me in my car. I knew I would be dying today, but I didn't mind. He had given me the one thing I never asked for. I would do this for him without even a second thought.

So when I stood in front of the ring of security officers with their guns aimed at me, I smiled widely and let out a whisper that I knew he would never hear,

"I love you, Mello."

…..

So you see the bittersweetness? I just love this pairing so much. I wish there was more. (Don't you love how one of the most popular characters in DeathNote FF is one that only got like 5 minutes of screentime? XP)

Kia