I'm going to do the 2014 Ficathon! Yes, I'm late to the game, but all things considered, I'm giving myself a break. I intend to update once weekly, twice if I find I'm running out of time as we reach the end of said Ficathon.

Our prologue opens during the season 3 episode, Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind. Aside from the clearly AU events that will occur and add context to season 4, all else remains the same. The shooting, all cases, everything until The Limey. We go completely AU from there.

Disclaimer: I have no rights to these characters. I simply like to play with them.

Prologue

November, 2011.

Kate awoke, groggy and disoriented. The room was dark and her hands were bound. She could tell that she was in some sort of chair. Where the hell am I? Her memory was spotty at best.

"Castle?" The detective called softly, hoping that whomever had abducted them would not hear her whispers. There was no response. His absence kicked her fear up another notch.

She tried to clear the cobwebs from her brain, but still came up with nothing. The last thing she remembered was driving with Castle, they were on their way somewhere. Where were we going? She tried to remember. We were talking about aliens. She thought to herself. Kate then recalled that her car went dead, a light appearing from above. Now she was here and Castle was gone. What the hell happened?

Suddenly a bright light flashed, a spotlight of some kind was blinding her. She could make out the outline of a man. He seemed neither tall nor short and there was nothing about him that stood out; aside from the fact that he'd abducted her. He simply stood there, staring at her in silence for several minutes. It was putting her on edge.

"Who are you?" She questioned. The man did not respond. Her fear and frustration continued to grow. These men had her partner too.

"Where's Castle?" Still no answer.

"I am an NYPD detective!" She yelled, hoping her status would give her more authority. The man seemed unfazed, simply staring her down. She started to work at the bindings on her hands, a feeling of desperation growing. She needed to escape. She needed to find Castle.

"Where is it?" He finally spoke. His voice was level, confidant even.

"Where is what?" Kate questioned. She was completely lost. Who are you? She wondered once again. The light was truly bothering her eyes, making it impossible to make out any details or features of the mysterious man.

"We all know what Marie Subbaro was involved with detective. That information must not get out." His voice remained level. His calm demeanor made Kate even more unsettled. It was the calm of someone in complete control. He seemed cold and calculating and once again thoughts of Castle crossed her mind. Kate remained silent.

Her unwillingness to play along with whatever game the mystery man was involved with prompted him to speak again. "If you don't cooperate, we'll find a way to get at the truth. We'll do whatever it takes to protect our way of life."

Our way of life? What the hell does that mean? She wondered. What could they possibly gain from a paranoid woman who was killed in the most horrible way imaginable? The questions muddled her brain further. What did they need to protect their way of life from? In attempt to throw him off his game, she dismissed his doomsday talk about needing to protect them all.

"Protect from what, a woman who thought she was abducted by aliens?" Kate questioned. The sarcasm dripped from her voice.

"You're out of your league Detective, you have no idea how deep this is. Now where is it?"

Clearly they wanted something, and they thought she had it. If she played along, if she remained silent, perhaps she could stay alive longer. If they thought she had value they wouldn't kill her. Again, she wondered where Castle was. Is he still alive? Are they questioning him too? She silently prayed that he was, and that he would put his clever mind to similar use. She reasoned that if Castle could distract them, or lead them on, he might remain alive long enough for her to figure something out. She couldn't lose him.

"Who are you? Identify yourself!" Kate commanded. It was her best attempt to take control of the conversation, aiming some of her own questions.

"Who killed Marie Subbaro?" She continued her interrogation.

"If you keep asking questions you shouldn't, you may end up like Marie." The mystery man threatened. At least they were talking about what Kate wanted to talk about. She reasoned it was progress. Every minute she bought gave her more hope of survival.

"Who killed her?" The detective persisted. She tried to take in her surroundings, but the glaring spotlight made it impossible. She could see nothing but the outline of her captor and interrogator.

"No one you could ever reach." The mystery man finally replied to her question.

He stood for several minutes, staring her down. Kate remained silent, refusing to budge. Even if she had more information, she wouldn't provide it.

Soon it became clear to the mystery man that she would not volunteer anymore information. He moved to the table beside him and picked up the instrument. Not only would it make her tell him the truth, but it would knock her out afterward.

Panic filled Kate, bile rising into her throat has he moved towards her in the next minute, some sort of drill in his hand. This is it, she thought to herself. This is how I die. Kate was amazed that the last thoughts she had before what she reasoned was her certain demise were of Castle. She saw the drill moving closer. Castle, she thought again, picturing his warm, smiling face in her mind's eye. Finally she felt a sharp pain in her neck, and then nothing.

Kate awoke in the car, her head resting on Castle's shoulder. He was the last thing she thought about before she lost consciousness, and the first thing she saw when she awakened. Thank God he's alive. The thought crossed her mind as she was filled with relief. Although she wasn't ready to admit it to herself, or explore what it could possibly mean, the thought of life without Castle was unbearable. She needed him by her side.

Kate's head was throbbing, her side was aching and there was a sharp pain low in her stomach. She hurt everywhere. The sharp pain in her lower abdomen was by far the worst of her pain. What the hell was that? The detective wondered.

She raised her head to find that Castle was waking too. For several moments they simply stared at one another, drinking each other in. They were alive. Somehow they were alive. What the hell happened? She wondered once more. Soon the familiar tension returned. The tension that electrified the air and pulled at them. Magnetism, gravity, whatever it was, was captivating them both as they gazed upon one another. Josh, Kate thought suddenly, causing her to shift her head and break their eye contact.

She stared down at her watch, six hours. They'd lost six hours. It seemed like minutes. Slowly, they examined themselves and each other. Aside from angry red marks on their necks, they appeared to be unharmed. Whatever it was that happened, they weren't going to get answers sitting on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere. The partners drove back to the city in silence, each grappling with the confusion that followed their lost time.

As they made progress with the case Castle seemed to return to his normal self. He didn't appear to be bothered or in any pain. Sometimes it amazed her how quickly he could bounce back from some of the most extreme circumstances Kate could imagine. It also reminded her of how incredulous half the stuff they saw and did was.

Would a normal life be so bad? She reasoned as she poured herself a cup of coffee in the break room. She thought about a normalcy, about what life might be like if she'd been a lawyer instead. However, those thoughts always ended up in a place where there was no Castle. That wasn't a reality she would ever choose for herself. A year ago perhaps, but not now.

Over the past several days the mystery agent returned and with his guidance, they'd finally caught their guy. She was glad for justice, but found it disturbing that she would not bring Dr. Charles Vaughn to her justice. There would be no jail or trial that she would know of. Kate sighed to herself. Grimacing once again with the pain she was experiencing. Ignoring her physical discomfort, she made her way back to her desk to address the mountain of paperwork. Kate wondered how she would explain this case to the NYPD.

As Kate completed her incident report, thoughts of the mystery agent once again crossed her mind. She'd had fun messing with castle. Really, she smiled to herself, The Lochness Monster? She stifled a smile. It was amazing how light he made her feel sometimes. It was such a contradiction of emotion for her. On one hand she loved to just sit with the warmth that filled her. When she saw him it was if a light that had been so absent, especially since her mother's murder, was shining into every cell of her body. On the other hand, wasn't Josh supposed to provide that light?

Focus Kate, she admonished herself. Soon her thoughts returned to the mystery man. To what he'd told her in confidence. It filled her with an unexplained sense of foreboding.

"How are you feeling, Detective Beckett?" He'd questioned.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She shot back. The man was silent. He simply looked at her with a knowing expression. It filled her with a sick feeling.

"Detective, sometimes we all must make sacrifices." He stated.

Kate was dumbfounded, What the hell does that mean? Her questions began to formulate, but the agent cut her off before she could ask them.

"Sometimes we make sacrifices for the greater good." He spoke, placing a hand on her shoulder.

The confusion nearly overwhelmed her as she watched him walk away. However, soon Castle was by her side, asking ridiculous questions about aliens, UFOs and mind control; chasing away the fear and darkness with his light and something else. It was that same something that she wasn't ready to examine. It was the light she couldn't admit to herself.

Days passed and the pain remained. It transformed slightly, feeling like a mixture of the worst menstrual cramps and tiny bolts of lightning panging low within her abdomen. Stubbornly, she ignored it.

Soon a new case arrived, and with it Natalie Rhodes. It was easy to distract herself, especially with a celebrity that she grew to hate with each passing day. Again she found herself confronting feelings she wasn't ready to deal with. Surely she hadn't been jealous. Am I? The thought nagged her.

It wasn't until Natalie left, until several weeks later, that Kate finally acknowledged she needed help. Hal Lockwood got the drop on her. He'd nearly killed her and it was all because she was distracted. Between her mother's case and the increasing symptoms, Castle had to save her. The writer became her hero in multiple ways that night. She caressed her lips once more, recalling the way his lips felt against her own. He was warm and soft, gentile and insistent. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the feel of his mouth, the taste of his tongue. The strands of hair she stroked her fingers through.

Kate sighed again, another wave of dizziness sweeping across her. It was happening more and more, and it was dizziness that threw her off her game with Lockwood. She would never admit that, but she was aware of the fact that her symptoms were interfering wither job. Kate needed help. She needed answers.

Detective Beckett sat on the empty slab, her legs swinging as she waited for Lanie to return. She looked down to her watch once again, 2:05pm. They were supposed to meet at 2. The detective went to see her friend days before, finally admitting to someone that she was struggling. She humbly confessed to the medical examiner that something was off.

"Lanie, something's wrong." She stated with no small amount of apprehension in her voice.

"Would you care to elaborate, Kate?" The medical examiner looked at her with concern.

"It started a couple of weeks ago, after Castle and I were taken and questioned. After the Marie Subbaro case. Do you remember?" She spoke with no small amount of hesitancy in her voice.

"Girlfriend, you don't forget something like that." Lanie spoke, shuttering as she recalled that body. Or what remained of her body. "Now, what exactly is wrong?" she added.

Kate explained her pain, how it started as a dull ache and graduated to a sharp pain. She described her dizziness, the waves of heat that seemed to overtake her body with no explanation. Kate admitted to her cold sweats and sudden weakness. She described how her brain would go fuzzy, that she would forget what she was talking about mid-sentence.

"None of it adds up, Lanie." Kate expressed.

"Is there a chance you could be pregnant?" The medical examiner questioned. Afterall, many of the symptoms added up and Kate had a steady boyfriend in Josh.

Kate stared at her, the thought filling her with panic. "No." She blurted.

"No, you couldn't be pregnant," Lanie asked, "Or no, you don't want to be pregnant." She tried to clarify.

"I don't want his baby." She blurted. It was true. Josh was not someone she wanted to have children with.

Lanie sighed, drawing her blood and preparing the vials for lab work.

"Alright Kate, I'll take a look, but you need to do some serious thinking." She instructed her friend.

"Thinking about what?" Kate challenged. She tried to keep her temper in check, but mood swings were yet another reality that had become part of her life recently.

"Think about why you're with a man when you are so adamant about not wanting to have his children." Lanie spoke.

"Now wait a minute," Kate defended, "Maybe I just don't want children."

"Don't lie to me, Kate Beckett. We've had long conversations about families. I know you want to have one." She pointed at her friend, "and I'd be willing to bet that there is someone else that you would want children with."

Kate was silent as she absorbed Lanie's words. Visions of a child, of a baby with her hair and his eyes crossed her mind. She was infatuated with the thought, with the image of Castle's child. Of their child.

"Sorry I'm late." Lanie spoke, startling Kate from her thoughts of their previous meeting.

"No worries." She spoke softly. Kate grasped the slab beneath her with such force that the blood seemed to drain from her fingers. She was nervous.

Kate already knew she wasn't pregnant. That test had been done on the day she'd gone to Lanie. All tests were negative and still she had no answers. So, under the table, Lanie sent Kate to visit one of her close friends. A specialist, who examined and performed multiple tests. She'd visited the woman that was now standing in the morgue behind Lanie.

Beckett nodded to the doctors, greeting them as they approached. A familiar knot formed in her stomach as she waited for them to talk. They were together, it took two of them to deliver whatever news they had. This cannot be good. She thought to herself. Visions of horrible diseases, of brain tumors, flesh eating bacteria and terminal cancers crossed her mind as she waited.

"Am I going to die?" She asked.

"No, sweetie. You're not going to die." Lanie spoke. The compassion and sadness in her voice left Kate with no sense of relief.

"Then what the hell is wrong with me?" She pressed.

"Kate," The specialist began, "you're experiencing ovarian failure." The detective simply stared at the woman.

"Kate, whatever happened to you, whatever they did, it caused you to go into premature menopause."

"It can happen when you don't have enough follicles to ovulate," the specialist explained, "and in your case it would appear that you have none."

"In other words," Kate expressed, trying to wrap her mind around this devastating news,

"I can't have children."

AN: While there is some angst as we ramp this story up, I consider it to be mild enough to not consider it one of the main genres. This is a Romance and Family story, with a splash of drama thrown into the mix.