Prologue
All you have to do is ask and you'll be warned. Every human being that has come into contact with me will tell you that I'm different, as "different" is truly the nicest way to explain the behavior they've witnessed. The manipulations and the goading and the tricks were never meant to come off as offensive acts, not in my mind. I simply wanted a reaction. Kissing perfect strangers to see their eyes light up with lust. If you glare at me like I'm a whore, I'll just sit and bask in it. It's your fire that I want. I need to see it, I need to feel it, and you're obviously along for the ride, so let go and give it all to me.
I've never bothered with niceties.
I have always been consumed with the need to surprise; to elicit a passionate reaction from everyone I encounter. I need to see their eyes burn with emotion, whether it be from anger or frustration, lust or excitement, grief or concern.
Envy, fear, elation, hope, suspicion, indimidation, confusion.
Whatever it may be, I will manipulate until I see it flash across their eyes and hope that in that moment, they realize how very alive they are. You are alive and you may be spitting rage and contemplating killing me where I stand, but I'll grin because that success feels so good. I hope you will remember this moment because I most certainly will. The things I say and the things I do are all for your benefit, your life-force. I'm sick of the walking dead. Despite all consequences that have come down upon me, I cannot tolerate indifference. I loathe it.
So, when I laid eyes on him and his unwavering apathy, I knew. I knew I wouldn't rest until I saw him smile, scream, cry.. until I saw him come alive in front of me, below me, behind me, inside me.. I couldn't have known the consequences of my always questionable actions because I have never feared the consequences.
Not until now.
I couldn't have known how close I would come to breaking him, to breaking us both. I couldn't have known, but I should have and I will always be so sorry. So sorry, E.