Zoids dysfunctional families – a tale of two zoids 'families'

Disclaimer – not mine

BUT – the whole team ryu is mine!

Um in general this story is a comparison of the dysfunctional lives of team ryu and the blitz team in the S-class. And how team ryu has to deal with the menaces of the blitz team in order to verse the blitz team.

-Begin-

Jamie got up today, early as always. This was no different from any other day. He started his own breakfast and then sat down and started up his computer. "Hey some new e-mail! 'Do you want 1 million dollars?' No, I don't. '&(&( FV GH.' Huh. What mail is that? 'Dear s-rank n00bs. We challenge you.' Um I don't like the n00b part but this is worth reading. After all it is from the IZF." Jamie read his mail. This was a challenge it was from team ryu, the fourth highest ranked team in S-class. Also the last team to enter the s-class, and the only one in twenty years to do it solely from winning enough battles to do so. "Okay three weeks from now, area 452, directions are included and it'll be a four on four."

Brad was awake and drinking coffee. Lot's of coffee. "I see we got a challenge." He said as he looked at Jamie's e-mail. "Team Ryu. Oh yeah I know that team. Now the thing is I can't remember why I do."

Jamie looked at the bottom of the page, there was an add for the IZF, god knows what the IZF could advertise in a challenge e-mail. There were also two other links. One led to the IZF's statistics and match replay page, the other led to team ryu's official webpage. "These are handy." Said Jamie as he book marked the official team page website. On actually the opening page. It contained a picture of the team and profiles of each member underneath. On the left was a girl. Her name was listed as Sylvia noventa. Her age was listed as 22, height as five foot nine, hair, brunette, blood type, it was blank. She wore all white clothing, a loose jacket that only covered her arms. Her shirt was similar to that of Mai valentines from yu-gi-oh. She was wearing short shorts and Jamie had to pause and look at her. Her zoid was listed as storm sworder. "Wow." Was all he said. Next was an old man. His name was just Doc. His hair was listed as white. His height was five foot six. Blood type was again blank. He wore a lab coat and had a fat looking face. In the picture he was giving V for victory symbol. "Ah old man." Was Jamie's response. Next was a father son looking situation with a 'father' on top of a 'kid'. The father's name listed was Tom Reynolds, with the words 'black dragon' in parentheses. His height was a monstrous six foot four. His hair was listed brown. Again blood type was not identified. "What's up with listing blood type if they won't identify it…?"

His zoid was the shadow fox. "Shadow fox. Strange I guess there must be more than one."

At that point Doc toros walked in. "I see we got a challenge." He said looking at the printed piece of paper. "Hmm. The black dragon, heard he has over 2,000 solo wins and not a single solo match loss on his record."

"WHAT!!!" Shouted Jamie, "That's more wins than Vega had! I guess we'll need to be careful in battle against him. Okay. Next is the kid."

The kid's listed name was reddy. He wore a brown vest over his reddler colored clothing. Height, 5'6" hair color brown. Blood type, still not there. His zoids were, reddler, raynos, zabat, just about any flying zoid was there. And last was a brad like person. Similar in height dress and appearance just overall. His zoid was a blade liger and a gunsniper. "This guy looks like brad. Hey brad do you have any siblings or cousins or anything of the like?"

"Yeah, so what?" Brad walked over to Jamie because he had a strange feeling that whatever the reason for questioning it had to do with that screen.

"I think our next battle will involve a relation of yours." Jamie turned the screen to face brad.

Brad looked at it for a moment. "Hold on. Need more coffee." Everyone looked at brad with a sweat drop for a moment. After downing another cup, or three, "Oh yeah I think I remember him. He's my third cousin or something. Not a real close relation."

"Not to sure of yourself are you." Said Jamie.

"What can I say I've got a big family." Brad muttered as he went to pour another cup of coffee.

"Brad likes his coffee." Jamie sighed as he went back to checking out the various pages on the sites, copying pilot statistics and zoid stats. He got to Sylvia's page in perfect synch with Lena's arrival right behind him facing the screen.

"Who is that bimbo?" Lena asked. "Does our little Jamie have certain interests we don't know about?" She grew an evil smile.

"It's research…"

"DIE!!!" Lena pounded Jamie into the ground.

"Man Lena can be a bitch sometimes." Bit said without thinking, or looking. And continued doing neither until he got pounded into the ground.

"Lena." Brad said as he drank more coffee. "Jamie was doing research. That was a team website with stats and team member pictures. My money is on the girl there is just that way with her life."

"And besides that," Added doc toros, "They're our next opponents and the fourth highest ranked team in s class. We really need these notes."

A few minutes passed. Finally Jamie woke up with Lena shaking him, his first words were, "Don't eat my soul Richard D. James!!! Huh nothing here has had its faced altered. I'm safe."

"Good." Lena said, "Now research."

Jamie turned around, used bit for a seat, and got back to the research. "You see this girl. She pilots a storm sworder, but has been known to use a gojulas on other teams, and used a di-bison, and standard model gunsniper on this team. Now comes the team captain." Jamie skipped to the stats copied and printed them. Doc toros took a look.

"These don't match up with this guy's record. Nor does the zoid for that matter. Heck even his name has been changed. But still by this picture I have to assume it's him. Physically they are almost identical. I don't completely understand it." Toros was stumped. "This is the man that is supposed to have over two thousand solo wins, how can he only have 561 by this record. With only one solo too, it's going to drive me insane."

"This might explain it." Jamie said as more pages were printed. Jamie's face was in pure shock/amazement.

Toros flipped to the final two pages discarding the rest. Brad, bit, and Lena got at the rest. They quickly adopted the shocked Jamie facial expression. "Ah so this black dragon fellow is the real man with 2000 wins. But why is he in a different page than Tom?" Toros looked at the screen and saw why immediately. "Oh, I see."

The text read, "This is the only picture of the black dragon in existence. We were unable to get him to pose for team photos." The picture showed a man of Tom's exact physical stature shooting pure black flames out of his arms while holding off an iron Kong with a strange black energy coming out of his other arm.

The dragon's personal message was, "I never loose, to anyone or anything."

-Meanwhile in the base of team ryu, about an hour later-

"Alright now I have to go access the damn security feed to find out just how late Sylvia was in coming home from her party." Tom was furious looking as he scanned the monitors and the tapes from the night before, starting at 10pm and then running a motion scan, to show opening stills of each motion event that occurred that night. "What the hell! Sylvia doesn't show up once. This could be bad."

"Worse than any of the other million times she's been out all night and come back to the base as drunk as can be?" Reddy the little kid spoke up.

"Yes, because we have a match at one, I was hoping she was home and asleep. I could have her fully awake when we arrive, but no she's out alone in the world asleep and was wasted at some point too to boot. Damn it!" Tom put his head in his hand.

Then entered the brad-a-like named Henry hunter. He took one look at Tom and said, "Sylvia not back yet?"

Reddy chuckled, "Exactly."

"Whatever. I'm getting some more coffee."

Then doc appeared. "I believe I found her."

"You did!!!" Shouted Tom.

"Yes I found her." Doc then pulled a kitty out from behind his back. "I was missing my precious Garfield. Found her while I was looking for the other her I found last night. She really needs a bath."
Entered Sylvia in the clothes she was wearing on the webpage. Save there was mud all over them and she had garbage in her hair. "I think I got half the party pissed off at me to have this happen." She was very drowsy and she rubbed her eyes while talking.

"Shower." Tom said sternly.

"Righto boss man." Sylvia walked off Tom sighed in exasperation.

"When will she stop?" He groaned as he slumped.

"Don't you mean when will she learn?" Asked reddy as he opened up a wafer thin laptop and got ready to play an RTS on it.

"No smart ass." Tom groaned, "I'm pretty sure she's learned by now, especially, I hope, after tonight. But when she'll stop being such a freaking moron is beyond me." Tom put his head down on the monitor controls.

"Hey it's why I exist."

"To do what exactly?" Asked Henry.

"To be a smart ass."

Tom turned his head over, "What did the dragon see in you is something I will always wonder. And why did I pick some of the weirdest whacko's to be on my team besides reddy is a mystery no-one could ever solve."

"Wacko?" Said Henry and Doc at the same time, "You're the weirdest one of all."

Tom flipped his head away from them, the back of his neck turned black, "DON'T YOU CALL ME WEIRD!!!" He said rapidly in a possessed voice. When he turned back over he seemed normal.

Henry went back to his coffee and Doc started to pet Garfield. Both whistled. "Well anyway," doc said after a decent pause, "It'll take us an hour to arrive so we've got about two hours to get ready." Doc looked around, "Oh yeah, save Sylvia we're ready."

-1pm that same day-

In the middle of a flat sandy desert a storm sworder, reddler, and shadow fox were lined up against an iron Kong, a gojulas and a saber tiger.

The reddler pilot began talking, "You know Tom I could have sworn you were cheating when you played me in the game."

Tom smirked, "Come on reddy you're just jealous, you know cheating is impossible for online multiplayer in that game. Unless you have the hacking skills of doc."

In team ryu's enormous modified whale king carrier doc just made the thumbs up sign to Henry as he spoke, "Damn strait." Into the mike.

Reddy sighed, "fine, but when I was only at the archers epoch while you had a full twenty divisions of infantry and three divisions of aerial fighter bombers/helicopters to use to attack me I have to wonder. Anyways, think Sylvia is ready to fight?"

Tom glanced back at Sylvia's storm sworder while remaining in his cockpit, "She's got a hangover you know what she's like when she's got one." Sylvia was currently on her own private channel cursing off the leader of the other team while the other guy was doing the same. "She'll manage."

"Ah so she'll be fine?" Reddy asked.

"That is another matter entirely." Tom sighed. "Well you two get ready once the judge hits the ground."

Then the judge did just that. "Warning warning, the area within an eight mile radius is now an official zoid battlefield. Team Ryu versus team ken. Ready fight!"

"I'll take big and monkey like. Sylvia you were cursing off the saber tiger right? He's yours. Reddy can manage the Gojulas until either of us are done, with my money on it being Sylvia that's done first."

"You bastard!!!" Shouted Sylvia as she flat out rammed the saber tiger. The tiger was knocked over and the storm sworder jostled around, but Sylvia was ready for another attack before the saber tiger pilot knew what was going on. "Go to hell!!!" Using the sword on her head Sylvia cut into the saber tiger and made his command system freeze. "I never liked you." Then a swearing match began again.

"That's Sylvia for ya'" reddy grinned out. "Always ready to bite your head off." Reddy himself was having little trouble dodging the gojulas's attacks; it's just that his own attacks were having almost no effect on the Gojulas that was the problem.

Tom was having better luck. True his attacks did just as little damage as reddy's, but he got off a lot more of them. Then just as the Iron Kong tried for a swipe of the shadow fox's feet, a maneuver that, if successful, would end with the shadow fox frozen (Means command system freeze, I'll use that from now on) if not should, key word there being should, not be all that bad, but Tom was no normal pilot. "Trying to sweep my feet eh? I guess it's time for my trademark." Tom gave a thumbs up to no-one and then went wild on the iron Kong.

When the Kong was but a small distance away from pounding the shadow fox the shadow fox leapt up greatly clear of the Kong's fist. Both Sylvia and reddy cleared way out of the area. Even the judge became defensive. Everyone knew what was coming but the big bulky zoids could do naught about it. The shadow fox's Gatling gun began spinning around at a blinding pace. Loosing ton's of bullets in random circle. Tom started a crazy maniacal laugh as hundreds of bullets pounded the iron Kong and gojulas. Even though other avoided zoids entirely and on managed to KO the judge. Then another capsule came down. But instead of a judge there was a man in there. As the Iron Kong and gojulas fell down he shouted, "Function ceased, the winner is team ryu!"

Tom squinted, at the new guy, he got out of his cockpit, "Who are you?"

"Me, I'm mister referee, referee from Medabots."

"Medabots… what is that?"

"Its close enough to zoids trust me."

"So why did they send you?"

"Because I am a much smaller target, and I am much harder to kill off."

"Ah. Well welcome to Zi Mr. Referee."

"Thank you. Mr. Referee, away!!!" Mr. Referee pulled out a jet pack and then flew away.

"Now who would ever use that guy to judge anything?" Tom asked. "And more importantly where did he get that jet pack from."

Sylvia landed; she began cursing off the whole of team ken. Constantly bringing up street fighter in her argument. Reddy landed and tried to dissuade a fight. Tom got out and Ko'd Sylvia with a grab at a nerve. Then the three left.

-Meanwhile in a diner after press coverage of the match had ended-

"Team ryu huh. They're going to be dangerous opponents." Doc toros said as he sat across from coffee drinking brad looking at the TV. The waitress handed him the bill. "Oh the bill." A moment passed, "WHAT!!! I can't be expected to pay all of that!!!" Doc looked around most of the team had already scattered.

Lena was busy trying to flirt, while simultaneously avoiding Harry champ. Bit was pawning off some thing that he had found somewhere at some time. The deal seemed to be failing. Brad was, well actually brad had left the exact money for his meal and he was talking with Naomi.

The wild eagle was having the time of it all hitting up a group of teenage girls for everything he could do. Then for no apparent reason he switched back to Jamie and began getting slapped, and slapped, and slapped some more.

Doc toros saw all this and in desperation pulled out some toy models. "You'd never leave me you guys."

-End-

Quick info. That ken vs. ryu thing was an intended street fighter joke. Mr. referee will appear in other matches and there's a lot more junk to come.