Prologue
Soon after a fight with Stephano, Piggeh stood alone in an empty room. He sank down onto the floor with a sigh as the conversation played through his head, "Jesus, teasing Stephano to lighten the mood was a horrible idea."
*Piggeh slide into a flashback. ;P*
"Piggeh, what. The. Fuck," Stephano's eyes narrowed and turned a molten gold as he glared at the rosette humanoid.
He laughed nervously, "Hey sexy statue~. Are you turned on? 'Cuz you look pretty hard." (A/N: I took forever to get that to sound right… It was f-king embarrassing.)
The smaller humanoid behind him shook his head, "Perce…"
Apparently, to Piggeh's dismay, Stephano had been so on edge that the playful jabs had sent him over. "I cannot stand you; you horny obnoxious swine!" He snapped, turning his sword towards the flirtatious man. Piggeh shuddered as Stephano's insults; some making the beautiful French language sound cold and harsh; ended with, "Nobody wants you around anyways, so get lost!"
Mr. Chair tried to step in, "Stepha-"
"Oh. Yeah well, what the fuck ever, golden boy."
"Perc-"
"Well, see you around. Sorry you guys had to deal with me," He turned away from the duo with a sigh and proceeded to flinch as Stephano spoke again.
"Stop being so dramatic pig."
Mr. Chair stood in between them, conflicted, "B-bros?"
"Come on Mr. Shair, you'll be safer with me than with that horny swine." Stephano sheathed his sword, voice low.
(A/N: So, everyone who knows Piggeh, knows he rambles on and on about inappropriate stuff. But personally, being too awkward of a duckling to write all that, I have decided that that's a coping mechanism (so I can Spell Laudanundum but not mechanism, wow) of his. Not unlike Pewdie's whole, 'I'm gonna become attached to a statue so I have something to keep my mind off the monsters' coping mechanism. He flirts, says crude things and rambles to keep calm. And Stephano's just simply fucking sick of it.)
(A/N: Also, for future reference, Mr. Chair is Chaise and Piggeh is Percy. I can't keep typing out 'Mr. Chair' or 'Piggeh' when someone's trying to be caring. It sounds too damn formal/weird.)