Chapter 1 – Paths crossed

A/N: This story will not be all sunshine and rainbows but it will be fun. Sit through the journey, I can guarantee a happy ending as I'm all for it. Enjoy!

- Be patient with me as this is something new for me and I would love to know what you all think. I'll continue only if you say so, so.. give me a review. ;)

Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance... a little of everything.

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, Mr Marlowe and ABC are doing a darn good job with 'em.

It had been raining incessantly since the past fourteen hours. The rain added to the monotony by making the night humid. It was a mess outside as the rain drops crashed on the ground with a loud pitter patter but in Richard Castle's loft, there was pin drop silence besides the sound of clicks and taps coming from the study room. Castle sat on his chair with his laptop kept on the desk. He was writing but not with the usual enthusiasm. A glass of whisky was kept beside the laptop and in seconds it was empty, just in one go. Castle hadn't shaved in weeks, his hair was matted, shirt was unbuttoned and his trouser had alcohol stains all over it. Everything about him showed negligence. He was typing, not a book but an email with tear-flooded eyes.

"Beckett, Kate... Just tell me you are fine, one call, one email, one message...something, anything. Don't throw away your life Kate, I need you. I was distraught when you left the loft that morning; it felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. You lied Kate but I accepted you, I didn't care as long as you loved me but this is getting hard for me to handle. I can't take it anymore. I'll forget that it even happened but please come back. Just don't throw away your life Kate and that's all I ask. Even if you don't want to have a life with me, I'll be happy to distance myself as long as I know you are safe, you are alive".

Castle saved the e-mail instead of sending it. He just wanted to know that she was alive. It had been hard to let go the first time when he'd told her that it was over in her apartment but now, after a night of passion, he knew that letting go of someone this close to his heart wasn't hard, it was impossible. He knew that things would not go back to normal immediately after the way she left him that morning. It had been a month since that day and he had tried to hate her with all his strength. He told himself again and again that she wasn't worth it after the way she treated him. He tried but all he could do was make himself love her a little less as falling out of love with her was impossible. By some miracle a little love had turned into hatred but the love was still there and he knew that her one apology could make him fall for her all over again. Did she love him enough to apologize to him? Did she love him enough to return his love? He just wanted her to be in his life as he had lost a good friend, loyal partner if nothing more.

All he could think was that if she came back by any chance, he will not risk the friendship again as falling in love with her was the greatest mistake he had ever made. He now considered that night, a mistake that destroyed what they had and what they could have had, though he knew that somewhere deep down he secretly cherished that night along with many other great memories he'd had of her.

A month ago...

Beckett suddenly woke up as the sun's rays set the room ablaze with the bright yellow light. She smiled when she saw that Castle's arms rested around her waist, tugging her close to his chest. They were naked and the only thing that covered their body was a white bed sheet that was being shared by both of them. Kate's back rested against Castle's chest and she turned her head slightly to see him. Memories of last night flashed in her mind and she couldn't help looking at him asleep without thinking of how much his body could offer. Slightly moving from his grasp she managed to shake his hand off of her as he turned the other side in his sleep. She decided to wake him up with the smell of pancakes and hot coffee followed by a morning kiss. She slipped Castle's shirt on and headed towards the kitchen, closing the door softly behind her. She carried her mobile along. While she was making coffee, her phone beeped. A new message from Ryan. Kate opened it but with a little hesitation. It said:

"Beckett, the sniper was spotted just a few lanes away from here. I explained everything to Gates and she is ready to lift yours and Javi's suspension only if you take back your resignation and follow her orders. She's on call on this one. This is our final chance to get him, and then it's all over. You in?"

After a little thinking Kate glanced at the door of Castle's bedroom where he lay sound asleep. This was a chance to get over with all this. This case would have eventually come up and it would have created a problem in the near future. She could have a long and safe life with Rick without any danger to him or his family after putting this to rest. She wore her slightly wet clothes which had been discarded last night in the study room. She practically ran towards the door before Castle woke up but it was too late. He was already up. His husky morning voice stopped her from rotating the door knob.

'Kate? Where are you going?' He asked with a confused look on his face.

'Castle I got to go, they found him a few lanes away from the precinct...I have to put this case to rest... for me...for us...' she said, opening the front door, but instead of exiting, she came running towards him, grabbed his mouth like she had done the night before and planted the most passionate goodbye kiss she had ever given, the force making Castle move back a few steps. They parted with a loud pop, that's when she stared into his blue eyes which were doing their best to make her stay. It took all her courage to turn her back on him and resume her journey out of the loft, into the wilderness which would be nothing like home, like Castle.

'Kate you are NOT thinking clearly...let us just sit down and think about it, we'll do it together-' he started but she cut him off.

'Castle I can't do this...jump in a relationship without resolving things and I cant put you in harms way'

'Kate! Listen to me now...they will kill you, you know that...we've had this conversation earlier!' Castle yelled.

'And it ends with one of us leaving...' she said, holding the door frame, her back still facing him.

'If it's about last night...I'm sorry...we'll take it slow... I'll do what you want, I swear to god but please stay...' he said in a broken voice as tears came tricking down his cheek.

'Rick...I want you... but that's selfish...good bye...' Beckett said, looking at him one last time with red watering eyes before she closed the door. When she stepped into the elevator, the front door opened again and she could hear him crying. She always ended up hurting him and she hated herself for doing so, even more than the sniper who wanted her dead.

'Kate please...'

'Beckett!'

'NO! Come back to me...'

She heard him shout and cry and bang his hands against the metal elevator door but all she could do was stand there crying and breathing hard because of the shortage of breath in her lungs from crying nonstop since she had closed that loft door. She reminded herself again and again that hopefully one day they would have a life together if he could forgive her. She was doing this to secure their future, the future of their family and she hoped that he would understand it when the fate brought them together again. It was for the best.

Castle was sitting on the chair, staring blankly at the laptop screen as he remembered the heart-breaking memory of her leaving him. She didn't want him to follow her or go through it together. She wanted to face all her sorrows alone, denying him a part in them. He thought he could stop her but the truth is...no one can. He could only wait for their paths to cross oneday, let the universe sought itself. Everything happens for a reason and one can just follow his destiny. Maybe she would find a man whom she loves the way he loves her. Maybe one day she may realize what it feels like to be so unconditionally in love with someone that it drives you absolutely crazy. If he meets her again, he doesn't know whether he would risk his heart again or save it from further damage.

Castle was brought back from his trance-lost state just by a knock on the door. He wanted company as he had been alone since the past ten days, getting drunk and brooding in his underpants. Alexis was busy with college now and Martha was out on a world tour. He was longing for someone to be there for him, taking away his loneliness and showing him once again how to live life. Therefore he walked towards the front door with alacrity. When he opened the door, the person standing there was more of a shock than a surprise. He stood there staring at the person unable to decide how to react.

It was Katherine Beckett.

She was standing there wearing tattered and muddy clothes. Her body was bathed in mud and there was a small cut on her lower lip. At the sight of Castle, her scared eyes softened a little, flowing with love and her lips curved into an innocent smile but then things started getting blurry. She swayed to and fro and the world started rotating round and round before her eyes. As she fell forward, she just whispered-

'I'm lost Rick...without you I'm...'

She blacked out. She was about to get her face smashed against the floor but Castle caught her in his arms. He sat down on one knee, with her head resting on his shoulder and her body lying still against his kneeled leg. He didn't know what to do. There she was, lying in his arms, unconscious.

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