A/N: This is AU, and sheer crack. I wrote it for the fun of it. If anyone can review and tell me who killed Eiri Yuki before I post the end, you'll get a prize. The first review I get with the correct answer will be the winner, all you other super-sleuths will just get a pat on the back. Yes, I am aware that I watch too much CSI.

Yes, I know that Kumagoro is a human in this. I couldn't resist. I just couldn't.

WHO DUN IT?! Part One:

The party was in full life, the band playing, employees singing along, people drinking, talking and dancing, and through all this joyful cacophony, a murder was occurring.

-

Tohma Seguchi was occupied with seeing his guests out when a shrill shriek echoed through the air. He frowned slightly, the couple he was bidding farewell to were rooted to the expensively carpeted floor.

"My, whatever could have happened?" he murmured, making his way down the hall.

There was a crowd gathered in the hall, surrounding two people. One was Shuichi Shindou, of the band Bad Luck, who had been the entertainment for the night. The other was on the ground; half-way flopped onto the floor, having fallen out of the coat closet. There was no blood, but the atmosphere of the room made the blonde boss dread what he was going to find.

"Out of my way, this is my house," he hissed, pushing his way to Shuichi's side. "Shindou, what is…? Oh… god…"

At first he had been focused solely on his employee, who was standing shell-shocked in place, his face pale, his mouth agape, and his eyes wide, pupils dilating quickly as the vocalist's body entered into shock. Then Tohma had spotted blonde hair out of the corner of his eye— there was only one other natural blonde in the party that night.

His eyes fell on the body of Eiri Yuki, novelist, lover of Shuichi Shindou, brother-in-law, and now corpse.

He could only follow Shuichi's example and scream as well.

-

The room was in chaos. He took good note of that.

"Hey, K, make sure all the guests are in the other room. Noriko-chan, go get me the list of all the guests who left before the victim was found. And you and I, Kuma-chan, will go inspect the body," the detective said, nodding to the young man who stood close to him.

And so walked Tokyo's greatest detective into the most mundane crime he had seen in a long while, but Tohma Seguchi was a friend, as was the victim's lover.

Too bad they're suspects, mused Ryuichi Sakuma.

He stood in front of Yuki's body, latex-gloved hands tucked into the back of his pants pocket. "No obvious wounds, no blood, no pre or post-mortem bruises on his head, neck, or hands. Kuma-chan, start taking pictures, please."

Ryuichi's assistant, somewhat of a newbie, began to take pictures. Every now and again, he'd stop to brush his strawberry-blond hair out of his eyes, then promptly began to snap away at every examination that his boss made.

"Kuma-chan, see the blue tinge around his lips?" Ryu paused for the boy to snap a picture. "There's also an unidentifiable dried substance around his lips. I'd not be surprised if… And there we go! The same on his tongue and teeth. Ha." Ryuichi looked up, handing off the capped sample to Kuma-chan. "Follow me."

Ryuichi stood, grinning. He made his way into the sitting room where the sheriff, K—who was a little neurotic, he tended to think that EVERYONE was carrying a gun— was watching dutifully over them.

Ryuichi called attention to himself; he didn't even have to say anything. All the women in the room automatically looked at him, and their husbands and boyfriends glared after them. At about 5'7", Ryuichi Sakuma was slim, and he looked young for his age of 31. His pants were always tight, and he always wore at least five earrings in one ear; some people called it unprofessional, others stylish.

He gave a goofy grin, flashing everyone a peace sign. "Hiii-lo!" he chimed, catching everyone off guard. Quickly, he made note of everyone who sighed in relief. Shuichi, Hiro, and Tohma, among two or three others that Ryuichi did not know.

"I hate to state the obvious, but we have a murder on our hands, which means that there is a murderer. I believe he—or she, excuse me, Noriko-chan!" he exclaimed as the woman detective gave a huff. "Is in this room, right now, as I speak. We will gather evidence for a bit longer, and then I will begin interrogations. Thank you."

-

"Hiroshi Nakano, nineteen, guitarist of Bad Luck, and best friend to Shuichi Shindou," Ryuichi said, leaning back in his chair, studying the face of the man in front of him.

Hiro was pale, like everyone else, but he seemed calmer than the other people he had already spoken to.

"First, may I take a sample of your DNA? There were several epithelial samples on our victim, and we need something to compare it to," Ryuichi gave a brief pause, allowing for an answer— once Hiro had nodded his head; he extracted a long cotton swab attached to a tube. "Open your mouth, and… here we go! Thanks very much."

Hiroshi frowned. "You're doing this to all suspects, not just me, right?"

Ryuichi blinked for a moment. "Of course. There's not too much evidence that points to you anyway, so don't be worried."

"Then why are you questioning me?"

The detective gave a wicked grin, snapping the tube shut. "Because you have the most motive I've seen in the people I've interviewed tonight. Eiri Yuki was threatening your contract due to his affiliations with Shuichi, he had caused your best friend to be hurt many times during their relationship, and you… are secretly in love with Shuichi, are you not?"

Hiro stood scowling. "I'm not going to let you play mind games with me!"

"And we found a vial of unknown liquid with your prints on them!"

"But you said," the redhead growled, annoyed that an acquaintance was screwing with his mind.

"I said 'not too much', Hiroshi, now sit."

"You've not arrested me yet, I'm leaving," the guitarist hissed, slamming the door shut as he left.

Ryuichi smiled, he had hit a raw nerve. That was good, very good.

-

"Honestly, I don't know why you're interrogating me," Tohma huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "He was my brother-in-law!"

"And Shuichi was his lover, but I'm planning on interrogating him."

Tohma sighed, resigning himself to Ryuichi's questioning.

The detective smiled softly. "Kuma-chan, will you bring me the evidence pictures please?"

The boy smiled and handed the file to his boss.

"Good boy," Ryu murmured. "Now, Tohma, does this look familiar?"

He laid a picture of two plane tickets on the table, as well as a glass with the crusty substance found on Yuki.

"Now, first, I'd like to talk about these tickets. Where are they to?"

"Why, New York, of course! My wife and I were planning a vacation, and I happen to have a business to run over there too," the blonde man said tartly.

"They're one-way."

"You can ask my wife, and I swear to you that she knows that we're going."

"Kuma-chan, can you go verify?"

"Yessir!" the boy cried, grinning as he raced off.

Ryuichi shook his head, chuckling. He soon grew serious once more. He rummaged under the table, and pulled out a plastic bag with a champagne glass. "This glass. It has what we believe to be the poison, contained inside of it, as well as your fingerprints on the glass."

Tohma looked highly offended at this remark. "It's my house! Of course it has my prints on it, Ryuichi! It's not my fault that someone decided to kill Eiri!"

"I do believe it is," Ryuichi said amiably. "Then there's the motive. There are a good number of things that make you suspicious, Tohma. First there's the fact that you've harbored a killer, I checked Eiri's background, he killed a man when he was young. That could have caused some sore toes to that victims' family when he avoided justice. Then there's the fact that you've seemed to have cheated with him several times in the past few years. … You love him, don't you? Enough that you have a grudge against Shuichi for it; you've threatened to resend Bad Luck's contract if Shuichi and Eiri's relationship didn't end!"

Tohma growled something unintelligible.

"You must have been so irked that he chose him over you! Is that why you killed him?"

The blonde host slammed a fist down on the table. "Now look, Ryuichi—"

At this point, Kuma-chan interrupted. "Excuse me, sir, but the wife confirmed the tickets…"

Tohma stood. "You have nothing but intuition to hold me on."

Ryuichi's eyes narrowed, and he caught the almost indistinguishable slump of Tohma's shoulders as the man gave a sigh of relief.

-

Ryuichi sighed, lacing his fingers behind his head and yawning. "Kuma-chan, go get me some coffee, then stop by the lab and see if they've discovered anything new," he ordered.

Kuma-chan instantly scuttled away, leaving the police officer to his thoughts.

No one was giving up much. He needed a new lead… but so far, one thing had been consistent in all testimonies, and he hoped that Shuichi could confirm his theory.

Even so, he began to read over the statements that Kuma-chan had gathered while he waited for someone to confirm that Shuichi was still at the party.

-

"Shuichi Shindou, I need to speak with you."

Shuichi jumped horribly, spilling the water he was drinking down his front. "S-sorry, I just…"

"Please come with me."

"O-oh, okay," the musician mumbled, following Ryuichi obediently into a spare room turned questioning room.

"Let me see your hands," Ryuichi commanded.

Shuichi frowned, holding out his hands to the detective. Ryuichi took then in a gloved hand, examining the tips of his fingers under a magnifying glass.

"Shuichi… are you aware that we found this same substance in and around Eiri Yuki's mouth?"

Shuichi's face drained of all color and he cleared his throat. "R-r-really?"

"Shuichi," Ryu said kindly, his glare softening on his friend. "We know that your contract with Tohma was suffering because of Yuki. Did you poison him for your career?"

"No! I!"

"We also know that you and he fought frequently."

Shuichi sighed. "I picked up his glass after our show. He asked me to go get him some more beer. I did. But I got him a new glass."

"You're beginning to sound suspicious," Ryuichi warned.

"Not like that! Hey… um… well, is this off the books?"

"You are not under arrest, so, yes it is."

"His old one smelled funny. But, look, Ryuichi… It's true, all those things you said about me and Yuki, he was mean a lot, and he cheated on me, but… I wouldn't!"

"I want to believe you, Shuichi, but you have motive."

-

A loud chorus of 'Sleepless Beauty' jolted Ryu out of his thoughts. "Sakuma, speak to me," he answered, putting the cell phone to his ear.

"It's me," Kuma-chan said. "The lab has new evidence. Apparently, there were more fingerprints on that vial of Nakano's. And when the lab went to do an autopsy on Mr. Yuki, you'll never guess what!!!"

"He was alive wasn't he?" Ryu asked, suddenly standing.

"Yeah… he was knocked into a deep coma with a near-fatal dose of some poison; they've not finished the tests yet in Trace… How did you know about Mr. Yuki?"

"Come on, quick, I need you here now!" Ryuichi snapped, hanging up and racing to the sitting room. "I bet you our perp's gonna make a run for it!" he hissed, his hand closing around the police-issued gun under his jacket.

He knew who committed the crime.

TO BE CONTINUED…