Since you people have read the summary you know what's going to happen. I have a lot of time on my hands so I've been playing through the game getting every bit of dialogue so you better enjoy this. This fic is intended to be spazzy and weird so please don't flame me about it. Remember, when you're done reading my storygo read KirieChan101's stuff. Warning: This story contains language and crude humor. Children under the age of 13 should not read this fic.
Disclaimer: Ki-Chan and I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Square-Enix does……WE WUV YOU SQUARE-ENIX!
Part 1:Prologue
Keely: Hi, I'm Keely.
Tori: And I'm Tori, the writer of this fic, and welcome to the Commentary of Kingdom Hearts.
Keely: Um … why are we doing a commentary even though we had no part inmaking the game?
Tori: …….
Keely: Whatever. Turn on the game Tori-Chan.
Tori: You turn it on it's your game.
Keely: So? You're the one who wanted to do the commentary.
Tori: So… It's your game.
Keely: Do it for Riku-Sama!
Tori: … Hate you. (turns on Kingdom Hearts)
Keely: Hehe (pokes Tori with a stick) Wuv you Tori-Chan.
Tori: Yeah yeah.
Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately…
Tori: Me too. Like does Bert McCracken use Viagra or not?
Keely: (chokes) What the hell?
Tori: (hums along to opening theme)
Sora: (falls backwards and wakes up on Destiny Islands)
Tori: I just noticed there's a little rainbow behind Sora. (looks at it in awe)
Keely: You spazz.
Tori: SHUT UP RIKU-SAMA IS ON THE SCREEN! (runs up towards screen)
Keely: Hey! Don't start drooling over my TV!
Tori: I only did that once!
Sora: (reaches out for Riku's hand but misses)
Tori: Heh, I would've been able to grab it.
Keely: No you wouldn't.
Tori: Yes, I would! I have longer arms then Sora-Kun.
Keely: Sora-CHAN.
Tori: I can say it the way I want woman!
Kairi: (appears on screen waving for Sora)
Tori: Ugh. The bitchy slut.
Keely: God she's annoying.
Tori: The only good thing about her is she keeps Sora-Kun happy.
Keely: Sora-Ch-
Tori: DON'T BE CORRECTING ME!
Keely: Shut up I love this part.
Sora: (falls backwards through the water)
Keely: Ok now you may speak.
Tori: Jeez, why do you like that part so much?
Keely: …I dunno.
Tori: …
Sora: (looks around then walks forwards doves fly around him)
Tori: Birdies!
Keely: sigh. If Jaja-Chan where here she'd smack you.
Tori: But she's not here so there! (sticks out tongue)
Mysterious voice: So much to do… So little time… Take your time…
Tori: I don't get it. If the voice just said that there wasn't much time left, why did it say for us to take our time?
Keely: Maybe to relieve some stress? I don't know.
Tori: But you should know.
Mysterious Voice: Power sleeps within you… If you give it a form… It will give you strength… Choose well.
Tori: Go for the staff Ki-Chan.
Keely: Hell no I'm going for the sword.
Tori: But the staff looks funny. And it's a STAFF!
Keely: Who cares?
Tori: I do!
Keely: Meh. (chooses the sword)
Mysterious Voice: The power of the warrior. Invincible courage. A sword of terrible destruction. Is this the power you seek?
Tori: Oh hell yes.
Keely: Now you see why I wanted the sword.
Mysterious Voice: Your path is set. Now what will you give up in exchange?
Tori: That makes me think about Full Metal Alchemist.
Keely: Huh?
Tori: You know that whole deal with equivalent exchange.
Keely: Whatever.
Mysterious Voice: The power of the mystic. Inner strength. A staff of wonder and ruin. You give up this power?
Tori: Oh hell yes.
Mysterious Voice: You have chosen the path of the warrior. You've given up the power of the mystic. Is this the form you choose?
Tori: Oh hell-
Keely: Stop that!
(floor crumbles away Sora falls/floats and land on Cinderella)
Tori: Heh heh that sounds kinky.
Keely: How did I become friends with you?
Mysterious Voice: You've gained the power to fight.
Tori: (sings) I've got the power!
Keely: (throws a pillow at Tori)
(shadow heartless appears)
Keely: Aww it's so cute.
Tori: ……. It is cute. Let's go kill it!
Sora: (slashes at heartless)
Tori: Hehehe when you kill it little green balls of goodness fly out.
Keely: ……
Tori: What? I just notice these things.
Mysterious Voice: Use this power to protect yourself and others. There will be times you have to fight.
Tori: No shit dumbass.
(shadow heartless appears)
Mysterious Voice: Keep your light burning strong.
Tori: Behind you Ki-Chan! Go kill it!
Keely: But…IT'S SO CUTE!
Tori: Give me the damn controller.
Keely: No.
Tori: Then go kill it.
Keely: No.
Tori: grrr GIVE IT TO ME! (lunges)
Keely: Never! (jerks controller)
(controller gets pulled out of PS2)
Both: Eh?
Screen: Please insert controller to etc.
Both: …….
Tori: NO, I KILLED IT! (drops a white towel over the PS2)
Keely: Um Tori-Chan. (plugs controller back)
Tori: NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS AGAIN!
Keely: Tori-Chan.
Tori: I HAVE DISGRACED THE GOODNESS THAT IS SQUARE-ENIX!
Keely: VICTORIA KAT-(gets cut off by my hand)
Tori: Don't ever call me by my full name on the interweb.
Keely: …The games back (points to screen)
Tori: Eh? IT CAME BACK! FAIRIES ARE FOR REAL!
Keely: You moron. (kills heartless)
(black stuff appears on platform)
(Sora gets sucked in)
(tries to wriggle free but can't)
(we now see Sora on a new platform panting)
(walks over to transparent door)
Sora: I can't open it…
Tori: God I hate these puzzle type things.
Keely: It's not that difficult. (opens treasure chest door glows)
Tori: Uwah! The door glowed!
Keely: …
Tori: That's AWESOME!
(door opens bright light shines as Sora walks through and ends up on Destiny Islands)
Mysterious Voice: Hold on. The door won't open just yet. First, tell me more about yourself.
Sora: (runs to Selphie)
Selphie: What's most important to you?
Tori: Riku.
Keely: Um.
Sora: Being number one.
Selphie: Is being number one such a big deal?
Sora: (runs to Tidus)
Keely: Oh my god! That's Tidus!
Tori: You didn't know that?
Keely: Well I knew, but IT'S TIDUS!
Tori: Sorry readers. She's a Final Fantasy X fanatic.
Keely: At least I'm not in love with someone who isn't real.
Tori: Do I insult your mother?
Keely: What?
Tori: Never mind.
Tidus: What are you afraid of?
Sora: Getting old.
Tidus: Gettin' old? Is that really scary?
Tori: …Is it scary?
Keely: … Yeah.
Tori: When you think about it.
Keely: Hm. Anyways we're getting off subject.
Sora: (runs to Wakka)
Wakka: What do you want outta life?
Sora: To see rare sights.
Tori: Why didn't you say To be number one?
Keely: Cause I wanted to say To see rare sights.
Tori: Well I figured that much.
Wakka: To se rare sights, huh?
Mysterious Voice: You want to be number one. You're afraid of getting old. You want to see rare sights. Your adventure begins at dawn. As long as the sun is shining your journey should be a pleasant one. Is this the path you chose?
Tori: Hell no that sounds crappy.
Keely: I'm not doing that again.
Tori: Aww.
Mysterious Voice: The day you will open the door is both far off and very near.
Tori: You know, that guy is really starting to piss me off.
Keely: Oh and why's that?
Tori: He just … IS.
Keely: (stares)
Tori: Shut up.
(on Sleeping Beauty platform)
(heartless appear)
Tori: Can I kill some this time?
Keely: sigh (passes controller) Knock yourself out.
Tori: Wooty! (beats the crap out of heartless) Heh, I'm ten times better at this game then you.
Keely: I don't care you're more obsessive then me.
Tori: STOP CUTTING ME DOWN IN MY PRIDE!
(stained glass stairway appears)
Tori: Ooh. Pretty colors. (stares in awe)
Keely: You have mental issues.
Tori: You're damn right I do!
(Sora runs up stairs)
Mysterious Voice: The closer you get to light, the greater your shadow becomes.
(Sora's shadow grows bigger and turns into a Darkside)
Mysterious Voice: But don't be afraid. And don't forget…
Tori: Run Sora!
(Sora tries to run away but almost falls off platform)
Tori: Well so much for my plan.
Keely: You of all people should know you have to fight the damn thing.
Tori: … Well …. Shut up.
(Sora fights Darksides arm)
Tori: You're taking to long!
Keely: Well I'm concentrating
Tori: Well you're taking to long! (grabs controller)
Keely: Hey!
Tori: There done.
Keely: I ONLY HAD ONE HIT LEFT!
Tori: …And your point is?
(the sword disappears as the Darkside tries to crush Sora)
Mysterious Voice: But don't be afraid.
(pool of darkness forms around Sora)
Mysterious Voice: You hold the mightiest weapon of all.
(Sora tries to escape the darkness)
Keely: Aww. He looks so pitiful right there.
Tori: You do realize he's the same age as us, right?
Keely: I know and that's the sad part.
Mysterious Voice: So don't forget:
(Sora gets covered in darkness)
Mysterious Voice: You are the one who will open.
Keely: They make that part too dramatic.
Tori: Yeah. What if the door they keep going on about was really the front door to some old lady's house?
Keely: … Then that would be a waste of a game.
Tori: Yeah whatever.
A/N: Ok so that was the prologue bit. I'm just starting out so don't get pissed at me. I'll have the next chapter out and about as soon as possible. The other chapters may take a while so bear with me. R&R but no flames please. Don't make me cry (puppy eyes).