My Own Deception
Eeh…I wrote this completely on a whim one nite…Started as Draco-bitching, wound up as...well, you'll see. Another short little piece from me, less than 1,500 words. ^^;
For those of you who don't know (and might actually give a tinkers damn) I've finally decided on an actual name. ^^; And so, while my user name shall stay the same, (hey, that rhymed!) I shall henceforth be known as Keiran Shea. You may now worship and love me. ^^;; Or not.
Disclaimer: As sad as I am to say it, I don't own Malfoy (damn!) or anyone else, for that matter. If I did I wouldn't be jobless and penniless less than three weeks away from A-kon. _._
Rating: PG sounds about right. ^^;
Ok then~ On with the fic!
Ok, stop. Hold it right there, don't say another word. It's time I set some things right. First off, my name is Draco. Not Ferret Boy. Nor is it That Slimy Git. You may call me Draco, or you may call me Malfoy. However, if you happen to be of a House not Slytherin, and especially one of those who has tendency to call me one of the aforementioned names, you lose all rights to calling me by my given name.
Secondly, just because we're Slytherins doesn't mean we're evil. When you hex us, do we not feel pain? When you laugh behind our backs, do we not seethe with anger? When you play a trick on us, do we not plan a beautiful vengeance-laced retribution? Perhaps we're not all bloody geniuses like the Ravenclaws, or stupidly brave like the Gryffindors. But we're sly, we're smart, (with the occasional exception, of course) and we'll do anything within out powers to get the things we want.
True, we may be a bit...power-hungry. But there is no such thing as too much power, is there? For really, there is no good or evil; just power. Everything depends on how you choose to use it. Personally, I enjoy holding supreme power over all the Slytherin underclassmen. Not to mention several of those in my own year, and some in those above me.
There's another thing. In Slytherin you are nothing if you don't have family. If you aren't Pureblooded with a good pedigree, you may as well be a Hufflepuff. I, personally, happened to be born the only child and heir to the Malfoy fortune and legacy. Lucky me. I'm sure people are jealous…but is it my fault that Voldemort just happens to favour my father above all other Death Eaters? Well. I just pray that I never have to fill my father's position in that respect. I've heard many many stories of what Voldemort does to his 'favourites'. I'll stay out of that lot, thanks. The thought of being touched by his slimy, decaying hands rather sickens me.
Excuse me, I think I may be about to meet my breakfast again….
Yes. Well. Wasn't that a pleasant thought? No? I didn't think so, either. But if Father wants power badly enough to put up with that, let him. I believe I shall find other, more savory ways.
Perhaps I'll go and join the Dream Team. Wouldn't that be something? Me, forming an alliance with those three. Enough to make me laugh, really. Just because Snape joined the good guys doesn't mean I have to, too.
Stop looking at me like that. I know what you're thinking. Of course I want to be a Death Eater. Why should I be?
I see. Because I'm pretty you think I'm a pouf. Yes, yes, Draco Malfoy, biggest flaming Homo in Hogwarts, prancing around in his hundred-Galleon robes, prettier than half the girls at the school. Go to hell. I happen to have gotten good genes, thank you very much. I'll have you know that I'm perfectly straight.
With only a few exceptions, of course. A boy has a right to be curious, doesn't he? Besides that, I don't think watching Zabini wanking in the shower hardly count for anything, does it? It was his fault, really. He should have known better than to do that when people could easily have walked in. Ah well. The extent of my sex life, sadly.
Of course I could have any girl I want. Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff…even most Gryffindor girls would cut off their right arm to have a go at me. But that's just the problem. I don't want any of them.
Let's assess the situation here: Witch number one, Pansy Parkinson. Slytherin, somewhat attractive in her own horse-like way, whines constantly, hangs about me constantly…Well then. Number two, Millicent Bulstrode. Slytherin, good at Potions…I'll stop there, as I could go on for hours about her flaws.
Try again: Mandy Brocklehurst. Ravenclaw, quite smart, has her nose in a book more often than Granger, and about as attractive as Voldemort. Susan Bones. Hufflepuff. That's enough.
Yuck. Just thinking about all those girls is enough to make me want to go out into the Forbidden Forrest and let whatever is in there eat me.
Ah, yes, the Forbidden Forrest. Yet another bane of my existence. I found out in no pleasant conditions why it's forbidden in my first year. Of course, Potter goes in there all the time. Bloody masochist, he is. I wouldn't mind running a dagger or two over his flesh…Bet he'd get off on that. Then again, who doesn't want me?
Look at this. You've gone and gotten me completely off topic! I come to set things right about us Slytherins, and now you've got me babbling on about Potter again. What is the obsession with him? Just because he's the bloody Boy Who Lived, and he saved the whole Wizarding world, and blah blah blah…I could have done that.
But then again, I wouldn't. It's one thing to be popular; it's another to be Potter. People hanging all over him, always touching him and cooing over him and taking pictures of him… How does he stand that? I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I had such a disgusting fan club waiting for me to emerge in the morning.
Don't worry, Potter; you'll never see a Slytherin in your little harem.
After all, what would any of us want with someone like him? He's the hero of the whole story, and we're the bad guys. Easy enough. Plain black and white, just like that. He's got tainted blood, anyway. His mother was Muggle-born…how could that child of someone like that possibly be great?
Yes, being a Pureblood is important! Haven't I said that a thousand times already? It's all in the blood, in the breeding. No, we do not 'keep it in the family'! Some might…it would explain Crabbe and Goyle, but no Wizard of any breeding or even simply in his right mind would go about shagging his family.
Well…I can't say as much for the Weasleys. I've suspected those twins since my first day at Hogwarts. It wouldn't be surprising; they can't afford to properly date anyone. Although…the thought of those two going at it, all red hair and tan bodies…
Silence! I will not tolerate such slander! I was simply going to say that the thought of those two going at it makes me want to vomit. That's all. Besides, if I were to pick a male as a…lover, I suppose…it would hardly be one of them.
It would have to be someone of good breeding, a good, wealthy family. Being into the Dark Arts wouldn't hurt, either. Someone to bring home to Father, make him proud. Yeah, right.
If I were to even think about touching another boy Father would have me sold in the back streets of Knockturn Alley even before I had the chance to work up a good fake cry.
Maybe I should do it, then. Wouldn't that be fun? It would be easy, too. Just saunter over to some unsuspecting git, toss a few coy looks his way, and have him eating out of the palm of my hand before the end of the day.
And if I really wanted to get Father's nickers in a twist-which I do-I could…yes, of course… Well, Slytherins are known for being resourceful. And sly. Not to mention sneaky and, well, snake-like. Exactly what I need now.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I now have an appointment with a certain Golden Boy…
Owari! ^__^
Well, that was certainly not what I had planned on writing. X_X It started out as Malfoy bitching about how Slytherins were misunderstood, and how things really were on the Dark side…and it turns all slashy on me again. -.-; ::glares at a chibi-Draco with black angel wings:: This is all your fault, Muse-boi.
Chibi-Draco: Me? ::innocent pout::
Me: Yes, you. ¬.¬
Chibi-Draco: ::giggles evilly and runs off with an equally-chibi-Angel-Harry::
Me: Damn…too cute…It's the bloody wings, I tell you!! T-T Ooh…bloody wings…*-* ::she then goes about melting into a puddle of fangirl-goo, thus rendering her unable to speak::
Chibi-Draco & Chibi-Harry: ::Scamper back in long enough to wave:: Baibai!
-=Keiran Shea=-
-Random Slytherin #1