Jacob is hungry. Oh look! Theres Bella. Come take a walk wit me balla. Jacob phases. Jacob eats Bella. Jacob at bella for 10 minutes. Just feasting on the bloody meat. Oh crap! Here comes Bellas man candy Edward! Edward walks over to Jacob who is crouched over Bellas life-less bodie. Wolfman and vampire lock eyes and stay like that more at least like 2 minutes. Edward asks wolfboy-man if he can have a bite of that young blood lol.
After feasting on Bella for like a hour there were done. They see how much they have in common and hold hands for the first time ever and they like it. I like you Jacob told Edward. Me to he replied! They go on a date to see a good movie. Maybe something happened in the back of the movie theater. Idk though. You can never be sure when it comes to dealing with those damn vampires and werewolfs. Famous scientist Charles Darwin comes and tells them that based on his theory of evolution and the munsters, vampires and werewolves can have Frankenstein babies together even of they're both boys. They decide to try.
when Edwards takes Jacob to meet his family he finds that his family is very intolerant of his new relationship. They want to know what happened to that nice white girl and why is he now with a Mexican. Edward tells his family that Jacob is a native American like form a tribe. Edwards mom tells him same difference between a Mexican and a native American. Wait, does that mean he does all those scary pagan rituals and dances? Edwards mom asked him. I guess, idk barely no him so I cant be for sure. Edward replied, and as for bella, well we ate her last night, I finally gave into the thing that I wanted most. Bellas blood. But on a good note mom, me and Jacob have a nice little Frankenstein babie named Eddy Jesus. He is so cute and green with those lil bolts coming out of his neck.
Well mom and dad, if you cant accepte Jacob, eddy and me, then were leaving. We may never come back Edward told them. Maybe well be at the park. The pair take Frankenstein baby to the park and let him play on the swings and slide monkey bars, even though hes only 1 day old. They wanted their kid to be tough and not a wimp which is why they did it. When he fell they didn't pick him up. A good dose of tough love was good for a person, and wanted to model their parenting ways on how Jacob grew up, neglected and alone. They didn't want to show their kid too much love and risk him being soft, which wasn't how the offspring of a vampire and a werewolf should be.
All of a sudden they meet Blade followed by Whistler. Blade looks pissed off! Whistle comes in and says asks "what's all this stuff? Men and men?" about this man on man interracial relationship. So mr. Edward, how come your parents let you bring strays home again? Don't call my husband/boyfriend/man-candy/lover that! Edward yelled.."Ill do wat I want!" the Whistler yelled back while taking out a dog whistle. Edward just stood there in front of Jacob who was holding Eddy Jesus, trying to protect them from the vampire slayer and the daywalker before them. "Hmmmm, I wonder what will happen if I blow this dog whistler? Do you think your man with respond, he is a dog after all." The Whistler inquired. "Nooooo!, don't do it, please don't hurt him"! Edward cried.
The whistler didn't care and blew it anyways. Jacob started to shake and dropped little Eddy Jesus Frankenstein babie on the floor..Eddy jesus started to cry. Jacob soon fell to the floor aas well. Jacobs brain was scrambling inside of his skull. He started to foam at the mouth, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Jacob saw one perk here; he had always wanted to know what his brain looked like while it was inside of his head.
But then Jacobs brain started to oouzzze out f his eyes and stuff like that. Edward fell to the ground by Jacobs head. The whistler just laughed as Jacob slowly and painfully died. "Would someone shut that kid up already," the Whistler said as he grabbed little Eddy Jesus Frankenstein babie from the ground and shook him, most likely scrambling eddy jesus' brains as well. Then Eddy Jesus died as he got lit on fire. (Idk who set the fire, it just turned on or something). Edward cried as he saw Jacob and Eddy Jesus Frankenstein babie die.
He leaned over and was going to kiss Jacobs forehead but decided not to and said, "I just started goin out with that dude yesterday. I don't know if Im into all that kissing men and men stuff yet." Oh well. Blade got out his blade and tried to cut Edward, but Edward just ran away screaming "Ill have mi revenge betches! If it's the last thing that I ever do." He ran off into the night and turned into a bat since that's is what vampires are supposed to do. Not sparkle in the freaking sun. Weeenies I tell was gonna to try and find his old girlfriend Karen, to see if she would take him back. He did like the Black girls more then the white ones, and way more than the Mexican/Native American boys. He was going to see if she still worked at the hospital in the town over.
When he got there he went to the room that used to be her office but he aint no anymore and knocked on the door. "Come in," a female sounding voice instructed Edward. Edward turned the knob and started through the door way. He wen in and the room was real dark. The dark remind him of Karen skin lol. Edward closes the door and walked around trying to make out his surroundings. Something moved in the far right corner. "there you are Karen," Edward said with I sigh of relief. The lights turned on and Edward turned, only to see Blade standing there. Blade shot Edward with his silver bolt-thingies. Edward got impaled on the wall. Then the Daywalker came up to him and stuck his awesome silver/titanium blade into the Vampires chest.
Edward fell apart into pieces. Blade took his lighter and set t he pieces of vampire body on fire. He got his portable gas pump out and sprayed the whole room. Then he leapt out the window, and walked out into the sunset, like in any great movie.
The End