Perdition: Hades, total loss, damage, bereavement.
Ash was nervous, why the hell should he nervous. It had been four months since he'd woken up in the hospital and the Doctor had been locked away in Torchwood. He hadn't been allowed to see him, but his time had been taken up by rehab and looking after James and Jakaar.
He still had no memory of what had happened after he'd confronted the Doctor on that ship, and then waking up in the hospital. He was sure the Doctor knew; but he doubted he would ever tell him.
Although he hadn't seen the Doctor, he'd kept up with his progress.
It had been a steep slope and he was still climbing. The bad days had been really bad, with the Doctor refusing to eat, and spitting out any tablets they had tried to give him. But gradually, the good days outnumbered the bad, and today he was going to see him.
He stopped at the door to the Hub and tried to settle his nerves. The door seemed to take forever; but he was glad of it.
It was Gwen who spotted him first.
"Ash, how are you?" she said as she hugged him.
"Nervous as hell," he replied.
She pulled away and smiled, "Nothing wrong with that."
"How is he today?"
"He's okay, just don't expect him to be overjoyed to see you. His meds are really affecting him."
Ash sighed and took in and let out a breath.
"Where is he?"
"The kitchen with Martha and Doctor Stoneleigh. It's good to see you."
He smiled and then made his way to the kitchen, and right into an argument.
"You have to take these," Martha was saying.
"They make me throw-up," the Doctor said back.
"Only because you don't take them with food."
"Don't eat breakfast," the Doctor retorted.
"Listen," the reasonable voice of Doctor Stoneleigh interrupted. "I know you eat breakfast…so, how about you choose what you want, instead of what we give you. That way you can take the tablet, and everyone's happy."
"I suppose," the Doctor said.
Ash chose to speak then, "Still causing trouble then."
Martha and Doctor Stoneleigh excused themselves and left him alone with the Doctor. He didn't sit down, but hung nervously by the door.
"Sit down, for Rassilon's sake," the Doctor said, and Ash noticed the irritation in his voice.
"You should take your meds," he said.
That earned him a sour look.
"Your leg has healed well," the Doctor said.
"Yeah, the bullet went clean through."
"Nasty things, bullets."
Ash knew they were both dancing around the real subject, then the Doctor said.
"How are the boys?"
And here we go, Ash thought.
"They're good, James is growing."
"And Jakaar, is he in school?"
Careful now, Ash though; the Doctor may be on medication, but he'd been told his moods were still unpredictable.
"He's having private tutoring."
"Not interested in human education," the Doctor growled. "His Time Lord education."
Now he had to be really careful; he sensed this could go south very quickly.
"I try, but…."
"You're not a Time Lord," the Doctor snarled, scraping his chair back as he stood.
Ash had to try and rescue this and quickly, "I'm sure if you ask Jack."
"Ask Jack!"
The Doctor was shouting now, "Do I have to ask him if I can educate my own son!"
Ash was about to get up when the Doctor suddenly leant against the work –surface; hand at the back of his neck and let out a low groan.
"Martha!" Ash called.
She responded quickly and went straight to the Doctor.
"You need to calm down," she was saying.
The Doctor said something in his own language. His words were cut off by a cry of pain. He would have gone to the floor if Ash hadn't been quick and caught him.
"Med-bay," Martha said.
"What the hell was that?" Ash asked as he laid the Doctor down
"We think it's some kind of fit. I should have seen it coming. It starts with him being recalcitrant, then aggressive, and he reverts to speaking Gallifreyan. Then he has the pain at the base of his skull and blacks out."
Ash sat next to the Doctor and brushed a stay lock of hair from his forehead.
"The fits…what if….?"
"There's no tumour or lesions. Doctor Stoneleigh thinks it's part of his disorder. It tends to happen when he's stressed."
"Is he really getting better?"
"Its early days, Ash. You have to treat a mental disorder carefully. I have to go and get his meds. He'll be confused when he wakes up, can you stay with him?"
Ash nodded…this wasn't how he thought seeing the Doctor for the first time in four months would go.
Ever since he'd decided he didn't want to die, the Doctor's life had fallen into a routine. By day, he had the relative freedom of the Hub, and plenty to occupy his mind.
But at night, locked in his cell, the demons would return. He screamed a cried into the small hours, and only the drugged-hazed sleep brought on by serum Five would ease his terror.
As a result, his temper was short and he started to become un-communicative; refusing to eat and take his medication. For a while he'd refused to come out of his cell, his demons whispering words of distrust.
Then there had come a saviour…his TARDIS. She sang to him, chasing the demons to the back of his mind. When the voices plagued his sleep, he listened to her songs, and he finally found a little peace.
Then he'd been told he would not be able to see his sons, and on top of that, Ash was coming, and not even her songs gave him any solace.
He sat at the table and refused to eat or take his meds, and the voices of Martha and Doctor Stoneleigh were beginning to grate. The voices began to clamour for attention, and it felt like they were going to burst out of his skull.
As Ash sat down opposite him, he felt the pain at the base of his skull…please no. When Ash had told him that Jakaar wasn't getting his Time Lord education, the pain exploded. After that, it was nothing but blinding pain and then welcome darkness.
He groaned into waking, and was glad the voices had receded; but his head hurt like hell.
"Doctor," Ash's voice cut through his pain, and he was happy to hear it.
"Hello," he said and winced when another spike of pain bit.
"Are you okay?" Ash asked.
"Headache."
"Martha's gone to get your meds."
Ash was siting out of his line of sight, "Can't see you."
There was the sound of a chair moving and Ash's face appeared; his face set in a frown.
"You'll get lines," he said and forced a smile, until another stab of pain hit.
"Easy," Ash said and smiled back.
"That's better," he said, then closed his eyes as the pain took hold again. He thanked Martha silently as the painkillers kicked in, and he dropped into a pain free sleep.
Jack had wanted to be there when Ash met that Doctor, but he was on a far less pleasant task, and had missed it. He'd been called in by someone in the Home Office, to help with a series of gruesome and unexplainable murders.
Whoever the killer was, they weren't picky…age, sex, race, height, no victim had any similarities. As he looked at the pictures, it was obvious the killer didn't see their victim as human.
There wasn't much he could tell from the picture, or the remains; what was left of them. But what he did notice was a trail of some kind of residue, and he hated to think it, but he needed a fresh killing to get a closer look.
"Captain Harkness," someone called. "There's another body."
The body of an elderly man was displayed like some sick mannequin on the wire fencing. Jack had seen a lot of death, but it still turned his stomach.
He looked around and saw the same residue, a sticky trail leading away from the body. He crouched down to take a closer look….Jesus, it stank.
He took out an evidence bag and a test-tube, and scraped some of into the tube.
"Found something?" the lead detective said.
DI Speakeman was a good detective, but he knew when he was out of his depth, and didn't resent Jack's presence.
"Some sort of liquid, our lab can analyse is quicker than yours. I don't think there's a lot I can do here."
"True, unfortunately. I appreciate your help. I will of course contact you if we find another victim. And thank you for your help with the press."
"No problem, we will catch him."
He arrived at the Hub, tired and still sick from the kill sight, and that stuff still stank…whatever it was.
But his spirits were lifted when he saw Ash and the Doctor sitting together on the couch; they looked comfortable together.
He would have to ask Martha what had gone on.
He didn't disturb them and went down to the labs. He emptied the test-tube into the analyser; it was really stinking now.
A few moments later he heard startled voices and the sound of hurried footsteps. He was startled to see the Doctor at the lab door, an unhappy look on his face.
"Captain, where did you get Lakesh pheromones!?"