Her legs dangled carelessly, swinging one after the other in a pendulum that ticked off the minutes as she sat on the edge and stared into the vast tangle of chaos that was New York City. Rain had temporarily washed the sins away for yet another night and they wriggled out from the gutters even as she watched, shadowy figures striking deals she would have once put to a stop. When it was her job to care.
This was the place, the defining moment when she'd known there was something more important in her world- someone more important. So it was here she'd come when she'd woken up still wet from him, easing herself from his embrace only when the light had crept through his half-shaded windows and she'd seen the reality of what they'd done.
"Castle!" He hadn't been there and the disappointment had nearly been tangible-she wondered if it wasn't, really; if Ryan hadn't known the second he'd hauled her over that ledge and looked into her eyes to see the panic and the pain fighting their way back from the surface. She wondered if Gates had heard her screaming for him and imagined she knew then that Kate Beckett would never be the type of detective she wanted, not if she could only scream his name while facing certain death.
The thought came to mind that if she had taken a bullet instead, she wouldn't have had time to call for him. He may have never known how she felt, and that alone was sobering enough to have her pulling out her phone to call him.
"Where did you go?" His voice was rife with worry- worry, she thought, over whether or not she had run away to hide...although there was nothing left to hide behind. "Beckett?"
"I'm here, Castle. I'm here." She pulled away from the ledge and stood, observing the city she loved with an eye that was cop, always cop, even without a badge and gun to prove it. "I'm sorry- I had something I had to do. I'll be back soon- how about breakfast?"
"Coffee. Just bring coffee." She could almost hear his smile, pressing the phone to her ear and wishing she was back already, curled up beneath the sheets with his arms wrapped around her. "You'll still owe me ninety-nine-"
"But who's counting?" Her laugh echoed over the rooftops as his echoed in her ear, a balm to the nerves that still sang of her doubts. Coffee was their olive branch and she'd bring it every day if she knew that he was by her side. "Castle?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, too." She pushed into the sunlight as the call ended, caressing his picture with her thumb before slipping the phone into her pocket. Starbucks was only a few blocks from his apartment, she mused, and if she hurried she could make it back before ten.
She had a lot of time to make up for.