He Carried heart on further until it weighed so much he could carry it no
further. He swallowed hard and thought of how things should have been. How
it used to be.
His heart was too heavy for reflection. And yet it all came flooding back as he shot the junk into his arm. He turned his music up louder and spun around the room. His blonde hair flew wildly against his shoulders. He was in a fit of nothingness.
It was all fucked up. Everything was gone, like that. No more Brian. He wasn't mad. They both enjoyed the ride. It had to end some time. But so quick, so hard.
He shot up again taking pleasure from the pain. He flushed it all away in an instance. The pain washed to his head all at once. Leaving him to collapse onto the bed. The pain was sharp, a knife to his head.
The tears ran down his cheeks in a long moment of earned sorrow. He found another spot on his arm and shot up again. The room spun and tore his body to pieces.
Never thought it would end this way. t That his world would come crashing to the ground. His life cracked apart. So much that all he could think of was The End.
He thought he was strong. That all of life would be Ok if he had love. The sounds of laughter the warmth of another human body. To feel the loving touch.
Curt knew he couldn't bare the love of another. He would only think of Brian. That day they broke up was the only rejection he could take. The final straw.
It had been a month with no change. The loneliness, depression, total abandonment of society. They had all been there. He spent day after day in the same circle of heart wrenching depression.
Locking himself in a hotel room staring at the wall. Falling asleep in bouts. Waking up to the sun and wondering why. Pondering life each time he opened his eyes to the world.
It had become clear. It had changed him inside. Everything had changed. With this relationship, this rock n roll dream. He had become something. A lover, a thinker, hell even a dreamer. He had grown into love. Brian had been his creation. His ultimate dream. And to have it taken away from him had crushed his heart and soul.
He had wanted to stretch Brian into something great. Curt loved the power Brian had over him. Until it all went to Brians head. It had been sweet at the very beginning. Where romance had ruled over everything. Although their relationship had been built on a dream. A rock n roll dream of a perfect match. It had the making of a real romance. Love at first sight. Meeting each other and enjoying each others company. That was when Curt knew there was love.
After that he didn't know. It had become mechanical, their love making. That day Brian had given him the pin had been the death of them. The addiction, the need of drugs had increased into a habit. It was out of control for them both.
He took another hit as his skin went cold. He gasped for air as the needle fell to the floor. The haunting voice of Jim Morrisons 'Touch me' played its make in the backround.
There was no one there to save him. No turning back from what lied ahead. No turning back. Drugs, hard drugs, had been pumped into his arm all day. And now, as his body shooke into convulsions, he was scared. 'Brian!' he gasped.
The bottle of Jack Daniels he had consumed earlier that day with his fourth hit hadn't been such a good idea.
His eyelids fluttered like precious butterfly wings. His body shook as it stole his breath. Each breath became raspy. His vision faded in and out.
He sunk into the bed whipping around in unstoppable convulsion. His face flushed white. And when it stopped, the violence of his rebellious body. He was gone His ice blue eyes once brimmed with laughter were shut. His world was folded in darkness.
We all have to go sometime.
Too Soon.
His heart was too heavy for reflection. And yet it all came flooding back as he shot the junk into his arm. He turned his music up louder and spun around the room. His blonde hair flew wildly against his shoulders. He was in a fit of nothingness.
It was all fucked up. Everything was gone, like that. No more Brian. He wasn't mad. They both enjoyed the ride. It had to end some time. But so quick, so hard.
He shot up again taking pleasure from the pain. He flushed it all away in an instance. The pain washed to his head all at once. Leaving him to collapse onto the bed. The pain was sharp, a knife to his head.
The tears ran down his cheeks in a long moment of earned sorrow. He found another spot on his arm and shot up again. The room spun and tore his body to pieces.
Never thought it would end this way. t That his world would come crashing to the ground. His life cracked apart. So much that all he could think of was The End.
He thought he was strong. That all of life would be Ok if he had love. The sounds of laughter the warmth of another human body. To feel the loving touch.
Curt knew he couldn't bare the love of another. He would only think of Brian. That day they broke up was the only rejection he could take. The final straw.
It had been a month with no change. The loneliness, depression, total abandonment of society. They had all been there. He spent day after day in the same circle of heart wrenching depression.
Locking himself in a hotel room staring at the wall. Falling asleep in bouts. Waking up to the sun and wondering why. Pondering life each time he opened his eyes to the world.
It had become clear. It had changed him inside. Everything had changed. With this relationship, this rock n roll dream. He had become something. A lover, a thinker, hell even a dreamer. He had grown into love. Brian had been his creation. His ultimate dream. And to have it taken away from him had crushed his heart and soul.
He had wanted to stretch Brian into something great. Curt loved the power Brian had over him. Until it all went to Brians head. It had been sweet at the very beginning. Where romance had ruled over everything. Although their relationship had been built on a dream. A rock n roll dream of a perfect match. It had the making of a real romance. Love at first sight. Meeting each other and enjoying each others company. That was when Curt knew there was love.
After that he didn't know. It had become mechanical, their love making. That day Brian had given him the pin had been the death of them. The addiction, the need of drugs had increased into a habit. It was out of control for them both.
He took another hit as his skin went cold. He gasped for air as the needle fell to the floor. The haunting voice of Jim Morrisons 'Touch me' played its make in the backround.
There was no one there to save him. No turning back from what lied ahead. No turning back. Drugs, hard drugs, had been pumped into his arm all day. And now, as his body shooke into convulsions, he was scared. 'Brian!' he gasped.
The bottle of Jack Daniels he had consumed earlier that day with his fourth hit hadn't been such a good idea.
His eyelids fluttered like precious butterfly wings. His body shook as it stole his breath. Each breath became raspy. His vision faded in and out.
He sunk into the bed whipping around in unstoppable convulsion. His face flushed white. And when it stopped, the violence of his rebellious body. He was gone His ice blue eyes once brimmed with laughter were shut. His world was folded in darkness.
We all have to go sometime.
Too Soon.