Holy Palmer's Kiss
show: Young & the Restless
central character(s): Victoria Newman Abbott, Billy Abbott
summary: I could stay here with you. / Or, Victoria picking up the pieces and re-discovering happiness. BillyVictoria.
notes: I just want to write this out before Chelsea Gate rips this couple to shreds. CHELSEA LAWSON, YOU SUCK. That's right. I don't know her, but she sucks. Eff objectivity. In terms of time, this is set approximately the night after they come home from New York because Vicki does mention there being a marathon on TV so I took that dialogue and ran with it.
disclaimer: CBS owns this. Just hanging out in their sandbox. Consider this disclaimed, kay? And I don't own Romeo & Juliet either. And the song which inspired this is "I Could Stay" by Kreesha Turner. Give it a listen while you read.
There's an old television marathon of Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best on tonight.
Keeley lies in the single seat, his head rested on his paws and his tail wagging. You smile a little his way because he's just such a good dog. He's happy, and clearly a morning dog. He's happy and really, doesn't ask for much aside from food, and love (which you make sure he has in spades, and he's already Billy's four legged buddy). Keeley is simply content with having his stomach rubbed and getting to run after a squirrel and entertaining himself with Fetch.
Billy (he's still your husband and really, affairs of the heart trump legalities, right?) is back home where it's been four months of loneliness, unanswered questions and a little of what you can label lovesick optimism. He's back and Delia is doing better and better – you love that little girl as her stepmother and Chloe is one of your good friends now – and even with you cutting your father off, and throwing your birthright away (for good, this time), all is right in your world.
.
You concede that nothing is ever perfect, but this moment, being here with Billy, snuggled into his warm fold, comes pretty close.
.
His hand absentmindedly finds yours and play with your fingers before you interlock them.
Billy plants his lips against the side of your temple, whispering an I love you, in your hair.
But here's the thing: you never stopped loving him, even when Billy stomps your heart to pieces, but here's another: the pieces aren't as sharp and they get easier to pick up without being cut.
After all, Billy still gives you butterflies, make you smile, laugh and even a tad crazy in the endearing sense – all three of those emotions in equal measure.
.
Of course, your head tells you to be wary, exercise the smallest twinge of caution.
Your heart is a little bruised, a little dented around the edges and imaginary cracks that travel across it. Then there's the girl in Myanmar, but you don't care. You really don't (youcan't). You want to go back to burning cookies with him. You want to grow old and grey in this same house with him, as the sound of your grandchildren's happy laughter peels in your ears. You want to gaze at sunsets – an explosion of every hue, a medley of vivid colours in the sky – with Billy's hand forever holding yours as you sit in adjacent wheelchairs.
You are ready to re-marry this man that you never divorce in your heart. You want to, no matter how much your head (because you're a realist, Victoria) tells you the reasons why Billy Abbott will hurt you.
You don't care about the past, though you dream of the biological baby you carry for seven weeks or for the baby you raise for the first six months of her life before the law rips her away from your arms. You're ready, for the future.
And you can do nothing but enjoy your present, like this: the way Billy's arms still naturally wrap around you, the way he kisses you like he loves you (and dear god, you love him) and the last four months never occur and the way your days seem brighter in your inner world with him right where he belongs.
They're brighter, regardless of everything else being in disarray.
.
Four months ago, your thoughts are dark and pessimistic even with Sam being a good friend, but you never want to experience that type of heavy, almost tangible darkness again.
.
Lifting your head from his chest (his heart is your background music to the Father Knows Best opening theme), you find Billy's gaze and press your lips against his in a kiss. You'll never get tired of getting to do that. His lips are soft and real – not just a product of wishing Billy would walk through that damn door and too many glasses of zombie juice. This is reality, not a dream you're jerked awake from with his name on your lips and a heart that aches.
Billy smiles against your lips, making you smile as well. He kisses you back, the pads of his thumbs gently stroking the apples of your cheeks and your arms go around his neck.
You break away, blue eyes you get lost in meet your own and resting your forehead against his, you whisper, "I love you, too."
.
Your lips still tingle.
Your hand misses feeling the light prickling of Billy's morning stubble on his cheeks.
"Don't ever leave again. I mean it, Billy."
"Baby," Billy says, so sure that you have no choice but to believe him, "you are stuck with me. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna make things right," he kisses your forehead, just as Margaret Anderson kisses Jim hello on-screen. "I swear."
You chuckle. "Good, because I happen to like being stuck with you."
.
Billy takes your hand during the end credits and presses a kiss in the center of your palm.
You could stay with Billy forever, and you wouldn't change this moment for anything.
.
Keeley's tail still wags, the dog still content as you are.
A/N: Okay, so this wasn't supposed to be in Victoria's POV but that's what happened. It was originally Billy's and after the episode today, my brain re-wired itself and spits this out.
I'm quite proud of it. And I hope you are as well by giving me feedback. I don't think people know incredibly complex it is to try and grasp Victoria's thought process. I rewrote this like crazy. I see her as someone who can be very stoic, very icy, but also someone who is warm and has the biggest of hearts. I just wanted to write this because it had been a while since writing anything Villy-centric.
I hope I did an okay job in terms of characterization. I may do another oneshot with Billy and Delia because their relationship is so effing cute to me. It depends.
Um, this is for my Sinful Desires people: would you prefer I re-post "somewhere, there's a place for us" in its entirety on the board or leave it as is? I could just post it in like ten parts. And you guys can read and post feedback from there. But it's all up to you guys.
And I had a fun idea – I wanted to propose that all of the people that write on here like, me, Rachelle, Kate and anyone else who likes to write might do a collaborative piece. Just something that anyone writes together…so for example, let's say Rachelle writes something down, and I tag on my piece on and so on, and it gets bigger. It could be anything – anything goes and there's no definite deadline with this because I do understand that life gets in the way. So, if you're down, message me.
Happy Wednesday!
-Erika
PS. And if you want, could you guys read a Jack/Emily piece I wrote called "Someone Like You"? It's at fanfiction. net (omit the spaces) , under my username: Her Name Is Erika. It's much appreciated.