Dear Shinichi

Kaito stared at the desk with unease, contemplating the thought for the hundredth time that month, before hesitantly moving his feet towards the desk. He sat down at the desk in an inelegant heap.

He stared at the page painfully, unwanted memories arose causing Kaito to flinch. He looked at the pen briefly before picking it up, he twirled it idly, his eyes never leaving the page.

With a heartfelt sigh, Kaito brought pen to paper and began to write.

Dear Shinichi,

It's been a long time since we last spoke. I couldn't bring myself to write to you. I'm ashamed to admit that. The kids have been asking for you, wondering where daddy is gone. Every time they ask I always say "I'm not sure darlings". I know I can't hide it forever, they're smart kids, they'll cop it eventually, but I'm not, quite ready to say it yet.

I miss you, I hope you miss me too.

I miss our evening walks, we would go on them around this time every evening, remember? Hand in hand as we made our way to the beach. I loved those walks, the way your azure eyes would sparkle at the crash of the waves. They captured my attention every time, they were seamless. Just like you.

Do you remember one evening, when we were down at the beach, how these two old ladies hell bent on their religion glared at us? I remember their whispering and pointing, I remember seeing the blaze in your eyes. It scared me. It enthralled me.

I haven't been doing the best since you left Shinichi. I've begun smoking… Aoko doesn't like it, I see her point, it's not particularly healthy. I don't really find myself caring about it though. All I find myself caring about is when I can see you next, how long will it be until we are reunited again my dear Shinichi.

I remember that day when I was told, the day it happened. I couldn't feel anything. I was numb. My first instinct was the kids, I brought them to moms. She understood my urgency and didn't question it.

When I arrived, I was brought to your room. It looked so clinical so clean, you contrasted harshly in the bed and with the room... Your eyes were closed and I knew azure would never meet indigo again. You would never greet me in the mornings, I would never bring you breakfast in bed, I would never hear about your day or what your thoughts were of the world.

I could feel myself falling, my heart was numb. You were so pale. So unnatural. You didn't look like my Shinichi.

The day of the funeral was a blur. I don't really remember the day. The only part I remember was being dragged to you to say goodbye.

You felt cold, you didn't look like my Shinichi, they didn't dress you the way you usually dressed. I didn't like it, there was too many people.

I remember the gasp echo throughout the room when I muttered the words "He's not my Shinichi". I remember being ushered out of the room and my mother yelling at me for saying something so insensitive infront of everyone. My ears were just buzzing….

I'm still not ok and that was months ago, I wonder if this feeling will ever go away, if I will ever be able to get over the fact that we can't share the same bed anymore.

I find comfort in my magic, I share it with the kids, it's one of the only things that can bring a smile to my face anymore. I'm also finding comfort reading your Sherlock Holmes books, I'm making fair leeway on your collection. You'd be proud.

Forever yours,

Kaito Kuroba

Kaito looked at the letter, his heart lurched. There was a call for Kaito and he got up from the desk. The chair made an a uncomfortable screech on the floor. He walked towards the door and glared at the letter a little. He hurried towards the desk and placed the letter in the drawer like it was on fire. Kaito left the room, his hand twisted into his jumper.

The look of anxiousness adorning his face and he wondered if everything was ever going to be ok.

I liked writing this, took a while to write. Thanks so much for reading

I'm a sucker for sad Kaishin stories. Please review! its really very much appreciated :)