" Thanks for helping me clean my new apartment guys!" Cain had said to his fellow siblings.
" Oh, its fine . All I planned to do was mastubate, play videogames, and chase Lillith around." Abel said as if those weren't fun things to do.
"Wow, your life sounds soooo interesting when I'm not around..." Seth said with he taunting sarcasm.
Oh, Seth. With her attitude and that flirty smile of hers, she went ahead and started to dig around in one of the boxes still left to unpack. And Cain... Oh sexy Cain. He had his semi-cute derpy smile on his face. It almost made Abel slap him because he obviously didn't know what was funny. With everybody's faces and emotions, staring for an umcomfortable amount of time, it was awkward. But finally, Seth broke the awkward silence into a millon tiny pieces with a disturbing picture that brought a wholw lot of memories for everybody.
" Oh! Look at what I found! Remember that Spring Break...and Cain was in charge directions?" Seth said to Abel with that flirty taunt in her voice. It was almost like Cain had planned it...
"OMG! I remember that! Don't you remember Abel? When I had to suck all of that-"
"Well, that's enough of that picture for now!" Abel said while prying the picture out of Cain's big hands.
" Why are you not so fun anymore? You're such a meanie now." Cain saidunder his breath to where Abel could hear him.
" I think its because he has missed his period this month and he's grouchy." Seth said with a 'really serious' poker face.
" Ok, that was a bit out there Seth. But you don't understand, that picture ruined my life!" Abel said with passion in his humiliation.
*FLASH BACK SOUND*
All of the loud music was fading away as the little, beat-up Jeep drove away from a classic Malibu spring break. With some up-beat music, Abel started to fist pumoing and started to seat dancing like a dork in the musty back seat of the Jeep. Seth sat in the passenger seat, trying to get over the hangover and smelling the beer coming from from all those open bottles, piled up like Mount Olympus on the mythical land before time or whatever crap like that. And, oh but of course, Cain was driving the old junkie '87 Jeep that he got Issac. With both hands holding the confusing map and his feet having hold of the steering if a random police officer pulled them over...Lord help us all. And don't even get me started about that weed Seth had stuffed in her panties...
" Are we there yet?" Seth said with a breath full of smells.
" Oh I love that movie!" Abel said with that wasted mouth of his.
" Shut up, dickbiscuit! So where are we?"
But Cain didn't respond. In fact, he was quiet the whole time they were in that quiet like that made Seth think that Cain was dead; or passed out. You never really know with Cain. It was just a little bit strange for Cain don't ya think?
" Cain? Cain? Can you hear me?" As Seth said as she was shaking Cain from his possible 'High Sickness'
" Babe, if your dead you gotta come back; 'cause your driving." Abel said with his suductive attitude.
" Oh no, I awake hon but I'm trying to concentrate on this death by lines map!" Cain said, kinda out of it.
" Well sorry, babe!" Abel said not very apologetically.
As they were riding along, acting like the crazy white family they are(sorry Lillith!), Seth had finally noticed that they were going into the middle of nowhere.
" Cain! Give me that map! Now! Don't make me get the spray bottle?" Seth said as she ripped the humongous paper out of his hands.
As Seth grabbed the map from Cain's clutches, she saw that it wasn't a map but that it was a pin-up porn poster this whole time!
" Cain! What the frack! you can jack off later! Why do you have this of Abel anyway...?" Seth said with her
" Give me that! Whoa! This was from my good stripper years."
" Yeah I know. I was your manager. Anyway I think we're l-l-losss what's that word?" Cain said.
" Lost Cain! We are lost! Just because you wanted to jack off! This is just like the time Lillith let the both of you drive me to my first day of 9th grade all over again!" Seth said with her frustration.
" Hey! That wasn't all my fault!" Cain said (that was a very convincing lie).
As Abel listened to Seth and Cain's back-and-forth argument while the car was still moving on the road (which indicates that they were both utterly distracted), he grabbbed the steering wheel and moved Cain's leg to stop the car. With Cain and Seth still going at it, Abel unlocked his door (don't ask) and wandered otu. With his wasted mind, he figured that they'd be here awhile and looked for food. Stupid Cain had to eat it all because challenged him to a tuff=Your-Face- Off and Cain won (obviously). When Abel spotted a peculiar cactus and bush, perfectly placed together, he went over to investigate. Abel was now an 'Naturalist' beacuse he watched Animal Planet the whole time the cable was on the glitz. Not really noticing what lurks underneath the bush, Abel stretched his hand under it. When his hand finally touched an unidentified object, Abel pulled its long body out from under neath the bush. Only to find that it was a snake.
" Ah shit! Mother of God! That frickin' hurt!" Abel exclaimed in pain.
" Baby? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Cain asked out in worry.
" He's fine. That crybaby will do anything to get attention." Seth said, completly unaware of Abel's situation.
" I don't care Seth. That's my honeybun!"
Finally, Cain's and Seth's argument broke away and was now focused on the girlish screams coming from behind a tuffle of leaves and a cactus. Oh but of course, Seth was sticking to her own side and was staying in the car. But, being closet-lovers (secret lovers, but not so), Cain sprinted over to where Abel was moaning in pain so loudly.
"That friggin' snake bit me on my thigh! *Ugh* *Ack* Its bleeding even more! I think it was poisonous!." Abel said while he fought to get his breath.
" Babe that's what happens when you copy people from TV." Cain said dearly to Abel.
" You've got to suck out the poison from my leg! Ah it friggin' burns!"
As Seth was listening to her music in the car, she turned it down because of the girlish screams and whimpers. Angry that Abel was taking his "acting" a little too far, Seth bursted out of the petite Jeep like a raging bull for strawberry cake to where Cain and his twin were located. As sneaky and clever as her reputation says to be, Seth hid behind the bush (so much bush). Watching Cain unzip his look-alike's pants, Seth brought out her caamera that was across her flat chest the whole time. As Cain bent down over the bottomless man, and his lips touched the bulging woumb, his mouth made a faint muffled sound. And as Abel lifted his head in relief, Seth leaned in and took a picture.
*BACK TO THE PRESENT SOUND*
" Oh man! That was priceless! Oh wait! The copy I made went for $50,000!" Seth laughed.
" Copy? Well I guess it was at least one I guess." Abel said with obvious uncertainty in his voice.
" Well you guessed wrong! I made like, what, 150? Cain, do you remember how many?" Seth asked.
" Yeah, I really can't recall how many. But I remember that I had put it on my Facebook and MySpace."
" MySpace really Cain?"
" Yeah. This Really nice man on Chatroulette told all about it!" Cain said with another of his derpy smiles.
As Abel stormed out of the apartment, embarrassed and angry, Cain and Seth were enjoying a hefty laugh between each other. And you can't even guess how many 'likes' that picture got on Facebook. Over 300,000.
Priceless.