Disclaimer/Note (will not be so long in subsequent episodes in the Braxus/Jallarial/Dahlver saga: Most of the characters in these fics began as characters born of the minds of Ian Livingstone and Carl Sargent. These include the wizard Jallarial, the warrior Braxus, and the dwarf Stubble. Shekiness is indeed an "old rat" (you will see what I mean by that later *s*). Shebbeneth is indeed a sorceress.
However, my friend Amanda and I reshaped the characters in a way that suited our purposes. We made Braxus and Jallarial a couple who enjoy great sex (sooo didn't happen in the books, heheh), and we made Dahlver a pathetic creature hopelessly in love with a man who would never be hers (while in the books, the love is returned, though never fulfilled…gawd I hated how book four ended!). We put the Zagor characters in a modern setting, and even gave them their own rock bands (Braxus is the lead singer/guitarist for Braxus and the Sunshine Band, and Jallarial was first a member of Get Annez, and then a solo artist; Dahlver was a member of Get Annez, and now is in Dahlver's Garden—Dahlver and Jal are utter enemies, TOTALLY unlike in the books:). We also added our own characters, including the reporter Tearmee Tearyou (yes, it's meant to mean what you think it means :p).
Therefore, many things have been changed, and that's why it's well and truly a fan-fic. But one thing remains the same: our love of the characters who introduced us to the world of fantasy literature, and a love of being extremely stupid. This fic might make little sense to anyone who hasn't read The Zagor Chronicles, but ahh well, that can't be helped. You might enjoy it anyway, but I wouldn't blame you if it passed right over your head. :) And now, a word from our sponsors…
BRAXUS
IS HERE!!
by tearmee tearyou
Yep, that's right, guys! Braxus is here at last, and you know what? He brought his Sunshine Band along for the ride!!! Not bad, you're saying? Well, you're not gonna believe what I'm gonna tell you next! Jal's here too, and Dahlver brought along her Garden just for us to see! Talk about major muso fest!
You got it! The time has come for this years thriller of all thrillers!! THE HUGE DAY OUT!! Anyway, since Braxus the babe and his little Sunnies are comin' along for the ride, as is girlfriend Jal and acquaintance Dahlver Anaakturiel, we here at Claw decided that we'd like to pay tribute to the great band that is "Braxus and the Sunshine Band!"
Here is an extremely extensive list of all the things ole' Braxy has done in his short life time so far! Oooh, he makes me shiver!
* The babe kills Zagor, the most bastardly and evil guy we've ever heard of, and earns the honour of wearing the "Badge of Babely Bravery!" (We here at Claw HQ like to call him "Triple B".
* Comes to Claw for his very first interview, and we all swoon. (Much to our annoyance, Jal just HAD to come along and keep an eye on her man—BITCH!)
* Decides that, other than spilling Orcs' intestines with that "mighty sharp" sword of his, his one true passion (other than Jal!) is music. So he forms a band!
* Finds out that Shekiness Johanssen actually used to play the drums for punk band Maiden's Chamber, and so asks the old rat if he'll "do the honours". Shekiness, of course, says, "Sure thing!" As Braxus has known for years, Stubble used to lend his guitaring skills to Splendid Kingdom, pocket-grunge's grandfather band.
* With Stubble on guitar, Braxus only has to find a bass player. After all, he's already got a singer and lead guitarist—himself! Anver Brades, a good friend of Braxus's, happens to have played with Tragedy for three years in his youth, and is the obvious choice for the position of bass guitar. It just so happens, as we all heard in the first two albums, that Anv can certainly sing to save his life, and back-up singing is invented at long last!
* Releases a debut album, Arcadian, and wins an armful (six, to be exact!) of Argents for it. Arcadian goes laxila (the CLAW translation—trust us, it's easier than trying to understand the real meaning—is 'way more than any of you could count') in Titan, and Braxus and his band go on a world tour! (Much to everyone's delight!)
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* Meets up with Dave Grohl, who compliments him on his brilliant work—and vice versa—and offers to help him write some songs. Braxus refuses, thanking "the master" (as he calls Dave) but saying that he does not want to be noted on something someone else did. Dave agrees, and goes off to be at the premier for his band, The Foo Fighters' fifth album, Laketown Merlin.
* The Sunshine Band release a second album, Sightseer!, and get quite used to critical acclaim. (You see, not only do they win five Argents for their effort, but they also totally go off over in Titan—what a surprise, NOT!)
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* Co-writes "I'll Try To Be On Time" for Jallarial's first album, and both are noted for their amazingly intellectual, spirited lyrical work. (Just to remind you, Jal went five hundred on that album!)
* Just a few days ago, The Sunshine Band's third album, Infinitia was released, and much to everyone's delight, it is as brilliant as the first two!
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Don't miss the HUGE DAY OUT, this Sunday at Classic Fiend Oval in Dalport.
Also, see our invaluable HUGE DAY OUT "who's who and what's what" in the next issue of Claw.