Episode 1

Interior: Israphel slowly approaches a distressed Ordain. Ordain has recently filled the position of Corporal. That's not the only thing he'll be filling tonight. (Told from perspective of Israphel).

Ordain: Israphel… I can't. The pressure is too much. I can't deal without you.

Israphel sits down next to Ordain.

Israphel: You don't need to! I'll guide you through this. Israphel wipes a tear off of Ordain's cheek.

Ordain: I just… this promotion… everything is going by so fast.

Israphel moves closer to Ordain.

Israphel: Well then lets take our time. Israphel rips off Ordain's shirt like a ferocious beast and grabs a bottle of oil.

Israphel: Slip n' Slide's got nothing on you baby! Israphel takes off his khakis as he grabs a condom from the shelf and puts it on.

Ordain: Wait! Leave it. Let the syrup work its magic. Israphel puts the condom away and lathers his love stick with a thick coat of Love Juice™ Brand Maple Syrup Lube. Ordain's tight anus smells of a bittersweet combination of stale feces and maple goodness. But the smell does not deter Israphel; he continues to plow him.

Israphel: This isn't right. We're different ranks now. I can't fuck a pleb..

Ordain: But bby! You're all that I have! Don't let this difference ruin us!

Israphel is faced with a continuous dilemma. Does he choose his lover, and face ridicule, or abandon his loved one for a life of certainty? Tune in next episode!

Episode 2

Enter Israphel. A note is left on his drawer, next to three jaffa cake wrappers.

Note (from Ordain): Dearest Israphel,

I can't bring myself to say this to you in person. The gap between who we are, WHAT we are… I don't know if I can make this work. I'm boarding the 9:45 flight back to my Canadian home town. I'll send you back a bottle of maple syrup.

Israphel: That (Vesi)cunt! How could he walk out on me! I want him back, this difference doesn't matter to me anymore!

Shadow_Elemental: Who the f*** are you talking to?

Israphel leaves hastily with a bottle of water and a comb for his greasy English hair. Enter Israphel in a gas station convenience store. The time is 12:AM.

Clerk: That'll be $12.50 sir.

Israphel: I'm so sorry sir! I don't have that kind of cash!

Clerk: Well then I guess you're going to have to pay somehow else. The cashier slowly rolls down his pantaloons and snapped at Israphel.

Clerk: Oi! You! Hop on the D Train, chop-chop!

Israphel follows without hesitation. Israphel enjoys the ride while he steals supplies from the snack rack a few feet over. The clerk is so enthralled with the pleasure he doesn't notice. Once finished, Israphel stores the supplies in the remaining room in his pants, where the huge bulge of his penis once then continues on his quest to find his man.

Episode 3

Enter Ordain. He sits next to Shadow_Elemental, who is curled up in a blanket.

Ordain: Hey baby ;) Hope you had a good time last night!

Shadow: You bet your sweet maple leaf I did! Now I just wanna curl up and read a book…

Ordain: What did you just say?

Shadow: I just said that I wan-

Ordain: Slow down there, missy. I don't see a sandwich in my hand. I swear to the Canucks, I will get your large behind thrown out of this country and I WON'T SAY SORRY THIS TIME.

Shadow scuffles out of the room. Ordain sits down on the bed and tries to think of other things.

Ordain (to himself): What am I doing? I left the love of my life… and for what? Some brown hooker? This isn't right. Ordain's attention snaps to Shadow_Elemental, who walks in the room with a tray in his hand.

Shadow: Hello honey! Here's your sandwich. Shadow sets the tray down next to Ordain.

Ordain: Shadow… What- takes deep breath What is this? Do I taste… MIRACLE WHIP? You KNOW I like maple spread on my GOD DAMN sandwiches! AND WHERES THE MAPLE BACON? I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS…

Shadow leaves the room, terrified. And a bit thrilled.