Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the cast of Harry Potter. This was
done merely for my own amusement. Okay? Good!
Ahem... so this is Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. Well. The MAKING of HP and the CoS. As in the film. F - I - L - M I say!! So... this is what would happen if me and my insane friend were extras in the film. They kicked us out eventually... they found us hiding under a bush near the Quidditch field... damn.
Anyway. My friend (Becky, the owner of the account) thinks that she is going out with Tom Felton A.K.A. Draco Malfoy. Please don't ring the insane house! I'm going to write in as though they ARE going out as it makes it more funny :P.
Without further ado, may I present the Making of Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets! (Copyright of Lemming the Biscuit and Saiyan-Chang. You copy this idea, we sue. We sue for LOTS!)
Becky: Can we start already?!
SC: ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: The Cast Arrives. Two Girls Tag Along.
The sun was just rising over Scotland (and the rest of the UK for that matter) and people looked out of their windows sleepily before their eyes snapped open in shock. An assortment of taxis, cars and 4X4s had drawn up to the five star hotel in Aberdeen, and most of them had tinted windows so people couldn't see who was inside. Weird.
One of the doors opened in a small limousine and a dark haired boy stepped out, followed by a ginger haired boy and a girl with brown hair. They were all about twelve or thirteen years old. They grinned happily as a few people crowded around them.
"WHY DO THEY GET A LIMOUSINE?!"
A blond teenager had just climbed out of a white 4X4, looking a bit tired and sick behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
"I'm the sexiest and most evil person here! I demand a limousine!!" He yelled as he stumbled towards the three now bewildered pre-teens, shielding his eyes (even though he was wearing sunglasses) from the morning sun.
"Calm down Tom," a brown haired guy yelled over as he ticked off names on a clipboard.
"But I want a limo," Tom Felton whined, giving the three people the evil eye.
"Why can't we all just get along Tom?" Daniel Radcliffe asked him, an annoyingly angelic look on his face.
"Because, one, I don't like you. Two, I am already annoyed I have to spend the next year under the same roof with you. Three, Jamie and Josh figured out I wasn't getting them to do everything for me for `practice', so I have to do everything myself. Four, my demented girlfriend is going to be calling me every hour of the day and night for the duration of the filming. Five-"
He looked around to find the cast, crew and extras had all gone inside without him noticing.
"WAIT FOR ME!!"
~*~*~*~
A dirty truck pulled up to the hotel, full of the luggage, props, make up, etc for the movie, and the driver turned the engine off, grabbed some documents and walked into the hotel to find the director so he could get paid for all this. A make up box of foundation had burst open in the back. Not a pretty sight.
All was quiet.
...
"Becky?"
A girl stuck her head out from a trunk used for cloaks and stuff, foundation blobs stuck in her hair as she climbed out. She looked around to make sure no one was in sight and started shoving stuff aside.
"Haley!! Look what I found!!"
The girl called Haley stopped and looked over her shoulder to see her friend holding up a pot of hairgel.
"This is what they use on Tom's hair!" Becky yelled in outrage as she threw it on the floor, making it splurge on her foot, "I am suing them!!"
"Whatever Bex_" Haley sighed, picking up a bag from underneath a load of boxes, "We need to move before we get caught!"
"Right!" Becky tried to move, but found that she couldn't, "Er... Haley?"
"Yah?"
"I'm stuck. Tom's hairgel's stuck to my foot and I can't move it."
"Urgh!" Haley walked over to her trapped friend and tried to pull her away, "What does he use on his hair?!"
"Haley."
"What?!"
"The container says Superglue."
"..."
~*~*~*~
"Ooh, a double bed! Yay!" Tom yelled, shocking everyone as he took a running jump onto the four-poster bed.
"Oh my god Tom, you are SO dirty minded!" Emma sighed, walking out of the room to find her own. Daniel and Rupert exchanged glances as Tom bounced happily on the bed, giggling insanely.
"...have you been drinking Lucozade, Tom?" Rupert asked as Tom stopped to lie down on the bed, staring into the canopy in thought.
"Usually, yes," Tom said, "But at the moment, I guess I'm just happy. And get out of my room, you freaks."
Dan and Rupert obliged, muttering to each other as they closed the door behind themselves, obviously heading to their rooms (Seperate, I hope.)Tom waited a few moments to hear Daniel's door slam shut, staring at the ceiling for a few moments longer before reaching over to the phone next to his bed. He dialed the number and rested the receiver next to her ear as he waited.
"Hello?" Oh God. Becky's mum.
"Er, hi. Is Becky there?" Tom asked awlwardly.
"No, she's gone to stay with her grandmother for a while. Who are you? Should I take a message?"
"It doesn't matter," Tom said hurriedly before hanging up. He replaced the phone on the charger and flopped back onto the bed in a depressed way. He was sure she had said that he could call her when he got there and she'd be in. So why had she suddenly gone off to visit her grandmother?
"I miss Becky," he moaned into the silent emptiness of his huge room.
Well.
Not very empty.
"TOM!!" Someone suddenly yelled from the window, making him nearly die from shock AND jump five foot into the air. What if it was a deranged fangirl?! Tom rolled off the bed, quickly grabbed the baseball bat he kept in his bag (he was a touch paranoid about fangirls coming to kidnap him) and slowly walked over to the window, starting to worry as a hand gripped the ledge, growing white at the knuckles.
"Becky!! I can't go any further!!" An unfamiliar voice yelled, obviously weakening about something.
"It's just a little bit further!" Another voice shouted. Now that voice he did recognise.
"Becky?!" Tom stuck his head out of the window to see a girl he didn't know clutching onto the window sill for dear life (which she was doing) and, hanging onto a rope which was tied around her waist, was Becky, "Becky!! How the hell did you get here?"
(Cue Da da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaa, da da da da da daaaaaaaaa, da da da daaaaaaaaaaaa, da da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaa music. You know the one with the boy and girl running towards each other in the field of flowers.)
"I know that you seeing each other again after a WEEK apart is extremely touching," the girl hanging onto the window sill drawled, shattering the mood, "But PULL US IN YOU COCKNEY BASTARD!!"
Ignoring the insult, Tom leaned out of the window and grabbed the girl by her t-shirt collar and started to yank her up. Trying to anyway. He is dinky for his age.
"Tom, it's cold out here, so if you don't mind-" Becky was silenced as her head came in contact with the wall, and Tom finally was able to pull the two girls through the window, both hitting the floor with a loud thud. After noticing that neither was injured, he gave the new girl a quick whack across the top of the head.
"Ow!!!"
"That was for the cockney crack."
The girl pouted, "But it's true."
"Haley, leave Tom alone." Becky had recovered from her temporary stunning and was grumbling as a sizable bump started to form on her head. But that wasn't what made Tom gape.
"That's Haley?" He asked pointing at the girl.
"Yup."
"Your insane best friend?"
"I prefer the term mentally-challanged," Haley drawled.
Tom immediately launched himself under his bed.
"Tom!" Becky yelled, "What are you doing?"
"Hiding."
"..."
"I am not that scary!" Haley shrieked in outrage.
~*~*~*~
"Did you just hear that?" Daniel asked Rupert as he unpacked his stuff into various drawers (Rupert hadn't got his luggage back yet.)
"What, the outraged scream?" Rupert replied, flicking through the channels on Sky TV.
"Yeah. Should we go see?"
"Okay. Only because I'm bored."
Daniel dumped the clothes back in the suitcase before heading out of the door at a run, eager to see what was happening. Pity he wasn't looking where he was going -
BANG!!
"Dan, if you're going to run around in the hallways, please look where you're going," a dark haired man said drily, pulling Daniel to his feet before picking up all his lists and notes that had been scattered on collision.
"Sorry Chris, but I heard a yell coming from Tom's room," Daniel apologised, stooping to help the director pick up a few pieces of paper, "I just wanted to see if anything was wrong."
"Tom's probably just banged his head from jumping on the bed too high again," Chris sighed, "Remind me to search his bags for Lucozade and polos."
"It was a girl who screamed though," Rupert pointed out. Chris scooped the rest of the notes up and walked briskly down to Tom's doorway. I mean, after Tom had been attacked by that swarm of fangirls AND got a girlfriend, he had grown a little intolerant towards them.
"Tom?" Chris tentatively knocked on the door, "If your killing something, can you tell us so we can phone an ambulance?" After a few moments, a girl yelled out from inside, making everyone jump.
"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?!"
Chris opened the door to see Tom and a girl who looked VERY familiar kissing, and another girl banging her head against the wall, apparantly sickened by the sight.
"Ahh!!" Chris staggered backwards as the girl turned around, "Becky!"
"Did you just say- FUCK, BECKY!!!" Daniel and Rupert spotted Becky, who grinned evilly at the sight of them, and shot back out of room, running back to safety.
"Aww, come on!!" Becky yelled after them, "I only put a little of Tom's bait in your bed!!"
"I was wondering where that had gone," Tom said thoughtfully.
"You people are insane," Haley sighed before walking out of the room in search of a spare room; this was going to be a long filming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author notes: What do you people think? If you think this is in the wrong section... meh. I'll live. Think about it; Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter movie mistakes. Where do they go? The Harry Potter section. If you say it is in the wrong section, say where it should be then. Then I'll move it. If you just say 'This fic is it the wrong section', I don't think I'll care. Soooo... nuh.
~Saiyan-Chang~ *The Authoress of this fic A.K.A. Haley (entered for humor purposes, duh!)~
~Lemming with no madness~ *She owns the account and inspired it. And she needs reviews. Aren't I nice? And she's Becky, to make the fic funny as well~
Ahem... so this is Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. Well. The MAKING of HP and the CoS. As in the film. F - I - L - M I say!! So... this is what would happen if me and my insane friend were extras in the film. They kicked us out eventually... they found us hiding under a bush near the Quidditch field... damn.
Anyway. My friend (Becky, the owner of the account) thinks that she is going out with Tom Felton A.K.A. Draco Malfoy. Please don't ring the insane house! I'm going to write in as though they ARE going out as it makes it more funny :P.
Without further ado, may I present the Making of Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets! (Copyright of Lemming the Biscuit and Saiyan-Chang. You copy this idea, we sue. We sue for LOTS!)
Becky: Can we start already?!
SC: ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: The Cast Arrives. Two Girls Tag Along.
The sun was just rising over Scotland (and the rest of the UK for that matter) and people looked out of their windows sleepily before their eyes snapped open in shock. An assortment of taxis, cars and 4X4s had drawn up to the five star hotel in Aberdeen, and most of them had tinted windows so people couldn't see who was inside. Weird.
One of the doors opened in a small limousine and a dark haired boy stepped out, followed by a ginger haired boy and a girl with brown hair. They were all about twelve or thirteen years old. They grinned happily as a few people crowded around them.
"WHY DO THEY GET A LIMOUSINE?!"
A blond teenager had just climbed out of a white 4X4, looking a bit tired and sick behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
"I'm the sexiest and most evil person here! I demand a limousine!!" He yelled as he stumbled towards the three now bewildered pre-teens, shielding his eyes (even though he was wearing sunglasses) from the morning sun.
"Calm down Tom," a brown haired guy yelled over as he ticked off names on a clipboard.
"But I want a limo," Tom Felton whined, giving the three people the evil eye.
"Why can't we all just get along Tom?" Daniel Radcliffe asked him, an annoyingly angelic look on his face.
"Because, one, I don't like you. Two, I am already annoyed I have to spend the next year under the same roof with you. Three, Jamie and Josh figured out I wasn't getting them to do everything for me for `practice', so I have to do everything myself. Four, my demented girlfriend is going to be calling me every hour of the day and night for the duration of the filming. Five-"
He looked around to find the cast, crew and extras had all gone inside without him noticing.
"WAIT FOR ME!!"
~*~*~*~
A dirty truck pulled up to the hotel, full of the luggage, props, make up, etc for the movie, and the driver turned the engine off, grabbed some documents and walked into the hotel to find the director so he could get paid for all this. A make up box of foundation had burst open in the back. Not a pretty sight.
All was quiet.
...
"Becky?"
A girl stuck her head out from a trunk used for cloaks and stuff, foundation blobs stuck in her hair as she climbed out. She looked around to make sure no one was in sight and started shoving stuff aside.
"Haley!! Look what I found!!"
The girl called Haley stopped and looked over her shoulder to see her friend holding up a pot of hairgel.
"This is what they use on Tom's hair!" Becky yelled in outrage as she threw it on the floor, making it splurge on her foot, "I am suing them!!"
"Whatever Bex_" Haley sighed, picking up a bag from underneath a load of boxes, "We need to move before we get caught!"
"Right!" Becky tried to move, but found that she couldn't, "Er... Haley?"
"Yah?"
"I'm stuck. Tom's hairgel's stuck to my foot and I can't move it."
"Urgh!" Haley walked over to her trapped friend and tried to pull her away, "What does he use on his hair?!"
"Haley."
"What?!"
"The container says Superglue."
"..."
~*~*~*~
"Ooh, a double bed! Yay!" Tom yelled, shocking everyone as he took a running jump onto the four-poster bed.
"Oh my god Tom, you are SO dirty minded!" Emma sighed, walking out of the room to find her own. Daniel and Rupert exchanged glances as Tom bounced happily on the bed, giggling insanely.
"...have you been drinking Lucozade, Tom?" Rupert asked as Tom stopped to lie down on the bed, staring into the canopy in thought.
"Usually, yes," Tom said, "But at the moment, I guess I'm just happy. And get out of my room, you freaks."
Dan and Rupert obliged, muttering to each other as they closed the door behind themselves, obviously heading to their rooms (Seperate, I hope.)Tom waited a few moments to hear Daniel's door slam shut, staring at the ceiling for a few moments longer before reaching over to the phone next to his bed. He dialed the number and rested the receiver next to her ear as he waited.
"Hello?" Oh God. Becky's mum.
"Er, hi. Is Becky there?" Tom asked awlwardly.
"No, she's gone to stay with her grandmother for a while. Who are you? Should I take a message?"
"It doesn't matter," Tom said hurriedly before hanging up. He replaced the phone on the charger and flopped back onto the bed in a depressed way. He was sure she had said that he could call her when he got there and she'd be in. So why had she suddenly gone off to visit her grandmother?
"I miss Becky," he moaned into the silent emptiness of his huge room.
Well.
Not very empty.
"TOM!!" Someone suddenly yelled from the window, making him nearly die from shock AND jump five foot into the air. What if it was a deranged fangirl?! Tom rolled off the bed, quickly grabbed the baseball bat he kept in his bag (he was a touch paranoid about fangirls coming to kidnap him) and slowly walked over to the window, starting to worry as a hand gripped the ledge, growing white at the knuckles.
"Becky!! I can't go any further!!" An unfamiliar voice yelled, obviously weakening about something.
"It's just a little bit further!" Another voice shouted. Now that voice he did recognise.
"Becky?!" Tom stuck his head out of the window to see a girl he didn't know clutching onto the window sill for dear life (which she was doing) and, hanging onto a rope which was tied around her waist, was Becky, "Becky!! How the hell did you get here?"
(Cue Da da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaa, da da da da da daaaaaaaaa, da da da daaaaaaaaaaaa, da da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaa music. You know the one with the boy and girl running towards each other in the field of flowers.)
"I know that you seeing each other again after a WEEK apart is extremely touching," the girl hanging onto the window sill drawled, shattering the mood, "But PULL US IN YOU COCKNEY BASTARD!!"
Ignoring the insult, Tom leaned out of the window and grabbed the girl by her t-shirt collar and started to yank her up. Trying to anyway. He is dinky for his age.
"Tom, it's cold out here, so if you don't mind-" Becky was silenced as her head came in contact with the wall, and Tom finally was able to pull the two girls through the window, both hitting the floor with a loud thud. After noticing that neither was injured, he gave the new girl a quick whack across the top of the head.
"Ow!!!"
"That was for the cockney crack."
The girl pouted, "But it's true."
"Haley, leave Tom alone." Becky had recovered from her temporary stunning and was grumbling as a sizable bump started to form on her head. But that wasn't what made Tom gape.
"That's Haley?" He asked pointing at the girl.
"Yup."
"Your insane best friend?"
"I prefer the term mentally-challanged," Haley drawled.
Tom immediately launched himself under his bed.
"Tom!" Becky yelled, "What are you doing?"
"Hiding."
"..."
"I am not that scary!" Haley shrieked in outrage.
~*~*~*~
"Did you just hear that?" Daniel asked Rupert as he unpacked his stuff into various drawers (Rupert hadn't got his luggage back yet.)
"What, the outraged scream?" Rupert replied, flicking through the channels on Sky TV.
"Yeah. Should we go see?"
"Okay. Only because I'm bored."
Daniel dumped the clothes back in the suitcase before heading out of the door at a run, eager to see what was happening. Pity he wasn't looking where he was going -
BANG!!
"Dan, if you're going to run around in the hallways, please look where you're going," a dark haired man said drily, pulling Daniel to his feet before picking up all his lists and notes that had been scattered on collision.
"Sorry Chris, but I heard a yell coming from Tom's room," Daniel apologised, stooping to help the director pick up a few pieces of paper, "I just wanted to see if anything was wrong."
"Tom's probably just banged his head from jumping on the bed too high again," Chris sighed, "Remind me to search his bags for Lucozade and polos."
"It was a girl who screamed though," Rupert pointed out. Chris scooped the rest of the notes up and walked briskly down to Tom's doorway. I mean, after Tom had been attacked by that swarm of fangirls AND got a girlfriend, he had grown a little intolerant towards them.
"Tom?" Chris tentatively knocked on the door, "If your killing something, can you tell us so we can phone an ambulance?" After a few moments, a girl yelled out from inside, making everyone jump.
"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?!"
Chris opened the door to see Tom and a girl who looked VERY familiar kissing, and another girl banging her head against the wall, apparantly sickened by the sight.
"Ahh!!" Chris staggered backwards as the girl turned around, "Becky!"
"Did you just say- FUCK, BECKY!!!" Daniel and Rupert spotted Becky, who grinned evilly at the sight of them, and shot back out of room, running back to safety.
"Aww, come on!!" Becky yelled after them, "I only put a little of Tom's bait in your bed!!"
"I was wondering where that had gone," Tom said thoughtfully.
"You people are insane," Haley sighed before walking out of the room in search of a spare room; this was going to be a long filming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author notes: What do you people think? If you think this is in the wrong section... meh. I'll live. Think about it; Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter movie mistakes. Where do they go? The Harry Potter section. If you say it is in the wrong section, say where it should be then. Then I'll move it. If you just say 'This fic is it the wrong section', I don't think I'll care. Soooo... nuh.
~Saiyan-Chang~ *The Authoress of this fic A.K.A. Haley (entered for humor purposes, duh!)~
~Lemming with no madness~ *She owns the account and inspired it. And she needs reviews. Aren't I nice? And she's Becky, to make the fic funny as well~