A/N: I hope this one is good! I spent a long time on it, since Hatori is my favourite Fruits Basket character. ;) I was writing it while listening to the actual song and I nearly cried, it was so sad. Here's to hoping you'll like it!
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and all mentioned characters of the series are the exclusive property of Natsuya Takayashi...I think that's her name. ;;;
Dedication: Shawna! This is one that's dedicated to you, and you know exactly why. Ily.
You don't remember me, but I remember you.
Hatori Sohma looked over his shopping list, biting his lip in frustration. He was far too proud to ask anyone who worked at the supermarket for help, but he just couldn't find that onigiri. He never had been able to…
Just when he was about to turn around and forget that item completely, he bumped into a woman who was wheeling her cart in the opposite direction. "Sorry," he said automatically, not even looking up. He almost continued on his way when he heard that voice….her voice.
Kana. "Excuse me sir," she interjected, laughter shining in her aquamarine eyes, "I couldn't help but notice that you were having some trouble finding the onigiri. It's in the fourth aisle, right shelf." To demonstrate, the blonde pointed to the area and smiled up at him.
Hatori froze, his deep blue eyes slightly widened as he looked down at her. With a supreme effort, he kept his emotions in check and managed a tiny smile back. "Thank you." Nodding, he brushed his dark black hair out of his face and left before Kana could get a good look at him.
He wanted her to remember, wanted it more than anything in the world and yet…it just wouldn't be the same. The encounter from just a half-hour ago was fresh in his mind, everything he remembered about her was the same. Her silken golden hair, her blue eyes, and the infectious smile that always made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.
Quite ironic, to think that she could look upon him and remember nothing, but when he saw her a lifetime of memories rushed back into his head. Hatori shook his head, forcing himself to pick his pen back up with a trembling hand and finishing his paperwork.
I lay awake and try so hard not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do.
Hatori barely even slept anymore. It was hard to, when all he could think about was Kana sleeping besides him. He would turn and reach out on the bed to find nothing, no one there but a shadow of a memory that clung to his heart. He didn't choose to dream of her at night, or think about her constantly…at the same time, he couldn't help it. It had become second-nature in the dragon's life, almost like breathing.
I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you,
to live, to breathe.
You're taking over me.
Sometimes, he was so plagued by guilt that he couldn't breathe. What if he hadn't fallen in love with her? Then, nothing would have happened and he wouldn't be left alone with persistant, bittersweet memories.
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you, and touched my hand.
I knew you loved me then.
One of the memories that visited him the most was one that occurred during the aftermath of Akito's rage.
Hatori was sitting outside, the day after he had erased the memories that meant the most to him from Kana, and crying quietly. The tears fell from his bandaged eyes, onto his trembling hands. Nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't go on; there was no reason to live. Kana didn't love him anymore.
A young woman caught sight of his pitiful figure and stopped in her tracks, on the way out of the Sohma estate. "Hatori-san?"
He knew that voice. It was Kana. Looking up with saddened blue eyes, he smiled weakly and nodded. "Konnichiwa, Kana." His voice sounded too shaky, too loud in his own ears.
Her brow furrowed with concern. Tucking away a loose strand of her hair, she leaned forward and touched his hands. "Are you alright?"
Hatori nodded, lying fluently. "Of course I am. Have a safe trip." It was so easy to let her go, easier than he thought, because he couldn't stand to be around her when she just didn't remember.
"Alright…." Her face cleared and she bowed slightly. "Good-bye, Hatori-san."
"Good-bye, Kana."
I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you,
to live, to breathe.
You're taking over me.
Hatori dropped the pen. He couldn't do this anymore. Standing shakily, he headed to the bathroom of his small office that doubled as his home. Once there, he set the tap water to cold and splashed his face a few times, as if trying to wash away the pain. He couldn't live without Kana. He couldn't.
I look in the mirror and see your face.
And if I look deep enough,
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over.
What had he been reduced to? He was a mere shadow of himself, weak, helpless, and breaking down. He didn't even see his own reflection anymore, it was just Kana. Kana, Kana, Kana! Hatori took a shaky breath, wiping his face on a nearby towl and then exiting the bathroom. The tall dragon squared his shoulders, going back to his desk and putting his glasses on again; he had far too much work left to let this drag him behind.
I believe in you.
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you,
to live, to breathe.
You're taking over me.
His blue eyes followed that well-worn path, the one that traveled over his desk, slightly besides him up. He knew where it led, and yet Hatori could not bring himself to look away. Every time, he looked up at the portrait of her, and every time it brought him a world of pain.
Suddenly, he knocked over a few items on his desk in search for his pack of cigarettes. Hands trembling terribly, he pulled them from a drawer and took one out, lighting it immediately and placing it in his mouth. The nicotine calmed him down, but it didn't get rid of the acute pangs of his heart, the ones he knew that he could never remedy.
Kana.
Taking over me,
you're taking over me.
Taking over me,
taking over me.
A single tear fell onto his hands.