Nick's Nightmare
By Hexenadler
"Understanding does not cure evil, but it is a definite help, inasmuch as one can cope with a comprehensible darkness." - Carl Jung
1.
Juliette woke up in bed, and saw Nick wasn't beside her.
She stared at the empty space where Nick was supposed to be. She glanced at the alarm clock: 2:31am. Then she released a long, aggravated sigh.
Probably off sulking because of something I said, she thought venomously. Sometimes he can be such a damn baby.
Juliette tossed aside the bed sheets and climbed out of bed without bothering to dress. She stretched, enjoying her nakedness and the cold night air drifting in from the window. She walked out of the bedroom and descended the stairs.
Nick wasn't anywhere in the kitchen. She glanced into the living room, and was ready to move on…when she suddenly spotted Nick sitting on the couch, staring into space. Like Juliette, he hadn't bothered to put on any clothes. He was almost camouflaged in the darkness.
Juliette slowly approached Nick from behind. She turned on a table light.
"Could you leave it off?" Nick said.
She was ready to spit out an abrasive comment, but something in Nick's voice caused her to pause. She switched off the light, the only illumination coming from the street lamps outside. Everything was reduced to dark shapes and shadows.
"Nick?" Juliette hovered over him. "Why aren't you in bed? You're not uncomfortable about sleeping with me again, are you?"
He shook his head. "It's not that."
"Then why the hell are you down here?" Juliette felt a surge of contempt coming on. "If you're thinking about Adalind, I swear to God I'll…"
"It's nothing to do with Adalind."
Juliette stared down at Nick. For some reason, she was having a hard time getting angry. There was a vibe coming off Nick. A strange, ephemeral vibe. After a moment, she sat down beside him. "So what's the problem?"
"I had a nightmare," he said. "About you."
"You realize that's a compliment for me these days, don't you?"
"It wasn't that kind of nightmare." Nick stared at the floor. "I was back in the police station. I protected Adalind and the baby from you instead of stepping aside. That's when I lost you forever. You joined the Royals. You burned down Aunt Marie's trailer. You tried to make me murder Monroe. But you were just warming up." His voice was a dead monotone. "You betrayed my mother to the Royals. I found a box with her head inside it. I almost strangled you. Then I stopped, and you attacked me. Trubel came in and shot you with the Doppelarmbrust. You died in my arms, coughing blood. That's when I woke up."
It took Juliette a moment to process everything she just heard. "Wow," she finally said. "That's, uh…"
Nick nodded. "It was all just…hopeless. Nothing but despair, from beginning to end. It wouldn't have been so bad, if…" He trailed off.
"What?"
"I think it was the part where I realized you were ready to kill me that really got to me," Nick said softly. "All of the years we spent together, all that love…just gone."
The hushed atmosphere of the house enveloped Juliette and Nick like a soft blanket. She heard the faint whoosh of a passing car outside.
Juliette took a deep breath. "Okay, look: If you had sided with Adalind against me, I probably would have killed you. I won't lie about that just to make you feel better. But you didn't, so here we are. Living together."
Nick was silent.
"I don't know if this helps," she said, "But back when I first became a Hexenbiest, I had a nightmare about you killing me. You grabbed an axe from downstairs, told me you knew what I was, and lopped my head off."
"That's horrible." Nick sounded genuinely appalled.
Juliette couldn't help but laugh. "Even our dreams are trying to convince us we shouldn't be together."
Nick was quiet for a short stretch. "I'm not a complete idiot, Juliette. I knew what I was in for when I chose you over Adalind. But no matter how cruel or vicious you can get…every time I see you, here, with me, it feels like a miracle. I've cried, Juliette. Privately, when you weren't looking, so you wouldn't be disgusted. Not out of pain or grief. I cried because…you didn't leave. Despite of everything, you didn't leave. I was crying out of joy. And now, after going through a nightmare where I saw you die…I'm more grateful than ever. It's wrong and warped, but it's how I feel."
"I have my own reasons for staying," she said coldly. "It's got nothing to do with love."
"Love." Nick uttered the word with a detachment almost identical to Juliette's. "Do you remember the time you were moving out of the house, and you laughed at me when I said I loved you?"
Juliette looked away from Nick. "Yeah."
"Why did you do that?"
Juliette shrugged. "I was angry. I was miserable. It just seemed like a good opportunity to spit in your face."
Nick ran a hand through Juliette's hair. "That's all it was?"
Juliette didn't immediately answer. "I could feel something growing inside my head, Nick. A new lobe, maybe. It was telling me to do things that were getting harder to ignore. It's taken over most of my thoughts now. You managed to get into its good graces, but…" She made a bitter little grin. "Monroe and Rosalee are pretty much dead to me. The door to the old Juliette slammed shut a while ago. You just happened to get through before it closed for good."
Nick ran a finger along her ear. She didn't respond. He pulled away.
"Would you still have taken the Verfluchte Zwillingsschwester potion if you'd known it would turn you into a Hexenbiest?"
"That's like asking a child if she thinks her parents should have had sex if she'd known it would allow her to be conceived," Juliette retorted. "It's how I was born. The old Juliette would have said no. I'm saying hell yes, because I would never have existed."
"That's an interesting way of putting it."
"It's the truth." Her lips twisted into a crooked smile. "Now, if my little Grimm's gotten over his scary dream, maybe he can get back into bed without wetting the blankets."
Nick turned his head and stared into her eyes. "Juliette, I'm ready to be a doormat, but only up to a point. Anyone who looked at our relationship would probably think we have a weird sadomasochistic thing going on. That's fine. I can live with people thinking that. What I can't live with is you hurting anybody besides me."
Juliette scowled, although Nick probably didn't see it in the dark. "You can't slap a collar on a Hexenbiest, Nick. You can try, but you'll only end up losing your hand."
"That's what I'm here for," Nick said, with a firmness that even made Juliette quiet. "I'm your punching bag. You can whale on me as much as you want, so you never have to whale on Monroe, or Rosalee, or Wu. I know it's a messed-up system. But it's worked so far."
Juliette put her legs up on the couch. She almost snuggled next to Nick, but the Hexenbiest aversion to casual intimacy forced her to compromise by resting her head on his shoulder. "You're the perfect punching bag," she consented. "Soft enough to know when to take your licks, but hard enough to…keep me excited."
Nick rested a hand on Juliette's head and began to stroke her. She purred, like a satisfied lioness.
"If you ever wanted to leave, I know I can't stop you," Nick said. "I'd feel like my heart was torn out, but you probably wouldn't care. Hell, you'd enjoy it. That's one thing I'm not deluded about."
Juliette mulled over her reply. "I won't leave you, Nick. Because you're right. We've got a good system going. We work out our problems at home, and then we bring the entire Wesen world to its knees with our double act. If we get married…when we get married…I can't promise I won't have some fun with other men on the side once in a while. That's just something you'll have to get used to."
Nick was quiet for a long time. "And if we have children?"
Juliette bit down on her lip. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, let's just talk about us. I can't love you anymore, Nick. Not the way I used to. But Henrietta told me I can still care for you. So that's what I'm going to try to do."
"That's all I want from you," Nick said.
She nodded. "Good. Now, don't let Trubel anywhere near a Doppelarmbrust, and I promise I won't make her head explode the next time I see her."
"That's not funny," Nick said.
"It is a little," Juliette smirked. She stood up. "You think you're ready to come back to bed now?"
Nick got off the couch and kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah."
The Grimm and the Hexenbiest walked out of the living room, leaving only silence and shadows behind.
2.
Nick woke up with a start. Sunlight was streaming through the window. Thankfully, he didn't remember having any more bad dreams.
He saw Juliette sitting upright in bed. Her smartphone was clutched in her hand. There was a look on her face Nick hadn't seen for a long time. She almost looked…frightened.
"Juliette? Is everything okay?"
Juliette nibbled on her fingernails. "Yes." She said. "No," she added.
"So what's going on?"
Juliette stared down at her smartphone. "My Dad just sent me a text message," she whispered. "He's coming to Portland."