"And you know what?! I never would've done that if you hadn't gotten so damn close to Mark!" Ross was shouting, his eyes flashing like lightning and his voice following with thunder.
Rachel narrowed her eyes and met his storm with her own. "I never even considered Mark until weeks after we broke up!" She raged. "It took you three hours to sleep with her!" Her voice broke on "her", tears in her angered eyes.
Ross slammed his fist down on the table. "Rachel, you said we were ON A BREAK! Grow up, okay?! Why don't you wake up and realize that I'm sick of you and your fickle feelings! You're never sure! You never tried to hold on! You never even tried! Why can't you ever be sure?!" He yelled, his hands waving wildly about like trees in the wind. "I've been holding on this whole time, I never bailed, okay? How do you think it feels to be steering this ship alone?" He paused, looking at her with cold anger. "Well y'know what Rach? I'm pretty damn sure I'm sick of it." He spun around and strode out of her apartment, the door slamming shut behind him and leaving her in silence.
She held her hand to her mouth in shock, a choking gasp escaping her as she stared at the shut door. That had to be a lie… he couldn't be done! He promised… he said… he would always stay. He's human. And a better human than you, at that. He's been waiting for too long. She had to chose. She could run after him and stop him and kiss her way through to him. Or she could stay in here and be sure too.
She was still staring at the closed door, but a minute couldn't have gone by. She chose neither and she chose both. She bolted for the door, wrenching it open and hurtling out and down the stairs, bursting out of the apartment building with wild eyes and racing down the street in the direction he would've headed. His apartment building was 5 blocks away, but she knew Ross. He wasn't going to wait around for a cab in this mood. The idiot would be storming around in his coat, apologizing every time he bumped into someone with regretful dark eyes and a sad, strained little smile… and he would put his hands out as if he was surrendering…
She sniffled, shivering and wrapping her thin wrap tighter around the Winter Wonderland tank top. She glanced around, hoping for just a glimpse of that ridiculously neat dark hair. A gasp escaped her as she saw him rounding a corner up ahead. She ran forward with renewed vigor, not bothering to pause to apologize as she barrelled into a young couple. She turned the corner to see him walking down a deserted alley, and she followed after him, surprisingly grateful for the absence of holiday cheer. The streets were so noisy in the winter. She didn't say anything yet, she just followed. Just to see where he was going. She had a feeling it was nowhere. If she wasn't following him, she would probably be going nowhere right now too. After countless turns into smaller and smaller alleys, and passing a few very suspicious looking people, she finally spoke up, the cold seeping through to her bones now. "R-Ross?" She called out.
He flinched, hearing his name in that voice he loved. That perfect mixture of soft and strong tones. Too perfect. He didn't want to see her right now, with her perfect face and perfect hair and eyes and smell and heart. But of course he stopped. Of course he turned. There was no where in the world, no feeling that could be felt, that would ever make him not stop and turn for that woman. He turned and what he saw broke something inside of him, but it wasn't his heart. It was the final barrier. The final guard he had up against her and all of her indecisiveness. He turned and saw her slim frame shaking like a leaf, illuminated by faint lights from above and the moon. He saw the snow falling around him and the evidence of it sparkling in her hair like snow sprinkled on gold. He saw beautiful blue eyes full of tears and wet streaks on her face. He saw her nose and cheeks red from the cold and her arms wrapped around her body as if holding her together against the cold. They seemed lonely, holding her all on their own. He hadn't expected her to follow him. He had expected to get home and sit down and resist the urge to call her until he couldn't take it anymore and then they would spiral back down like a hurricane's winds going from the bottom to the top and back down again until one day they would run out of energy and fade away into the rest of the currents. He hadn't expected her to follow him. "Rach…" he whispered.
She shook her head, stopping him. "No, wait. I need to tell you this, okay? I am fickle and stupid and careless. I am not polite or sweet and I don't help strangers wherever I go. I'm ditzy sometimes and I make bad decisions and I have bad judgement. But if I am one thing, it is sure, Ross. I am sure. I am so, so, so sure! I am sure that the one good decision I ever made was you! I am without so many things that you have. But I have a heart, just like you do. And I'm sick of making my decisions about you with my sense, because nothing sensible says that the nerd and the slut in highschool would ever end up together 13 years later!" She took a step forward, her eyes and voice growing stronger even as her body shook more. "I am sure that I love you and I am sure that I will never, ever let you walk away from me again! You've been holding on alone for too long and I'm sorry. I've never been as strong as you. I've never fought as hard as you do. But I swear on my heart and my stupid, sensible mind that I am damn sure, and I will try." She sniffled, thought whether it was from the cold or her tears he was unsure. "Even if I bump into people without apologizing." She added in a voice thick from restrained tears.
Ross had tears streaming down his cheeks, and all he wanted to do was to touch her, to hold her. To wrap her up in his arms and never let go because now he was sure that she wouldn't either. "I didn't think you'd follow me." He whispered, before striding forward and engulfing her in his embrace, tears and shivers and all. "You're not the only one in the wrong. I never should have…" he trailed off, closing his eyes tightly against the memory. The pleasure of that night no longer existed. Perhaps it never had. All he was left with was the empty, stomach-churning, heart-wrenching feeling of guilt and failure. He had failed her once. "I will never fail you again. I love you, Rach, and I don't mind holding on to you, because you are worth it." He murmured, face buried in her soft hair. "And I don't give a damn if you don't apologize to people in the street, just so you know." He murmured into her ear, rewarded with a teary laugh that rang in his ears like the sweetest music he had ever heard.