Disclaimer: They are not ours.

Spoilers: Potable Vermin

A/N (Rachel): Another collaboration, yay! Thanks for doing this with me, Beef-Ef!

A/N (Julia): I'll never quite understand how we come up with these or how we anticipate what the other person wants and write it before they say it. But we do. So, who am I to complain?

This story is for... BRITTNEY! We loved torturing you with this. Hope you love it as much as we love you! Love, your mom and sister.

"But I don't like history!" Parker moaned, rolling his eyes back into his head and throwing himself back against his chair.

"Not even the Vikings?" his babysitter Allison asked, slightly amused. She was used to Parker's theatrics.

"They're dead. Bones says that stuff in history books is mostly wrong anyway."

"That doesn't mean that it's not going to be on your test on Friday."

"I wish Bones was my teacher."

"Too bad. Now what can you tell me about Roanoke?"

He thought for a moment, sighing and blowing his hair off of his forehead.

"It rhymes with Row, Row, Row Your Boat?"

"Parker."

"They carved something on a tree and then disappeared."

"Thank you."

"This is boring."

"It's not going to be boring one day when I find out what happened to them."

"You're going to find out?"

"That's what archaeologists do. We solve really old mysteries, dig up treasure, and mostly get to play in the dirt."

"Treasure?"

"Yep."

"Have you ever found any treasure yet?"

"Not yet, but someday, when I'm an archaeologist for real, maybe."

Allison ruffled Parker's curls and pulled out his homework folder. She flipped through the papers, pulling out things that Agent Booth needed to sign, and grabbing Parker's spelling list.

"Do we have to do spelling? I know it," Parker rolled his eyes.

"Then prove it," Allison chuckled. "Declaration."

"D-E-C-L..." Parker slowed, carefully thinking about the next letter. "A-R-A-S-H-U-N?"

"Close, but no cigar," she smirked. "Look over the list and I'll fix you a snack."

"Can I have a cookie?"

"No," Allison shook her head. "You know the rules, Park."

"But it's THURSDAY!" Parker protested. "I had a math test today and I did good."

"After dinner." Allison stood up. "Study your word list and I'll cut an apple up."

"Grr." Parker grunted and threw his pencil down on the table.

"So dramatic."

"Why do you always say that?"

"Because you are."

"Can I have some peanut butter with my apple?"

"Why?"

"Bones told me that peanut butter has protein and good fats and it will help me to stay focused. I asked her if it worked better than that cereal on the commercials, but she didn't know what I was talking about."

"Parker, who is Bones?"

"She's my dad's friend. They work together. She has a pool."

"I bet you think that's awesome."

"Yep. Bones also writes books. Wanna see?"

"Sure."

He was halfway across the living room when the door opened and Booth walked in.

"DAD!" Parker hollered, detouring around the coffee table and jumping into his father's arms.

"Hey Park."

"Did you catch any bad guys today?"

"Nope. But Hodgins blew up a pig head."

"No way! Why didn't you let me see?"

"Because you would have smelled like pork. How's your homework coming?"

"Allison's making me do spelling. I hate spelling."

"You'll like it much more when you're trying to write love letters. Believe me."

"Love letters? To girls?"

"Of course."

"Gross!"

"You say 'gross' now, bud."

Booth placed Parker down on the floor and moved deeper into the apartment. "How's the baby sitter from the Black Lagoon?"

"I'm the devil," Allison chuckled. "He's done with History and Science. We're working on spelling."

"There's no math today, we had a test," Parker piped in.

"How'd you do?" Booth asked.

"Dunno," Parker shrugged. "I think I did good. Teacher'll have it graded tomorrow."

Booth nodded.

"There's a stack of papers you need to sign, Agent Booth." Allison informed him, "He has a field trip next Tuesday and he still needs his medical forms filled out."

"Thanks," Booth smiled. "Finish your spelling list buddy and we'll get pizza."

"Yes!" Parker jumped and grinned, grabbing Allison's hand and pulling her to the table. "HELP."

"Parker..." Booth warned.

"Please," he added.

Allison smiled and sat down again, pointing to one of the words on the list.

"Fluorescent," Parker said, nodding his head. Allison covered the word up with her hand.

"Spell it."

"I remember this one. What did you say? F-l-u like the flu. O-r-e like Oregon and s-c-e-n-t like smell. F-l-u-o-r-e-s-c-e-n-t. Right?"

"Correct. Arithmetic?"

He spelled the word correctly again, after a few false starts. They worked though the list and Parker was just finishing up the last word when Booth came out of his bedroom, dressed in more casual clothes.

"Alright, bud. Say bye to Allison. She needs to go have a life."

"Okay. Bye Allison. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget a Nerf gun."

"Don't worry. I won't."

She picked up her bag and headed for the door.

"Hey dad, can Bones come eat pizza with us?" she heard Parker ask.

"Me and Bones had an argument today. I don't think she's going to want to have pizza with us."

"She won the fight, huh?"

"Yes she did."

Allison smirked to herself and she shut the door behind her.

Allison sat in the pick-up line at Jackson Elementary School. It had been a long week and Parker had diligently done his homework without a fight all week - even bringing home two A's in Math and History. Since there was no homework on Fridays, Allison had given into his pleas for a trip to the park.

"Hi Allison!" Parker climbed in the backseat of Allison's Jeep.

Allison smiled, "Hey Park, how was school?"

"Good." Parker shrugged, shoving his Spiderman backpack to the floorboard and fastening his seat belt, "I aced my math test."

"High five, Bub." Allison extended her arm and Parker slapped the palm of her right hand.

Allison joined the long line of parents leaving the parking lot, "I brought my nerf gun."

"Yes! I'mma kick your butt." Parker taunted.

"Oh really?"

"Chyeah." Parker rolled his eyes.

"We'll have to see about that," Allison laughed and slid her sunglasses on, "So did you have fun with your dad last night?"

"Yeah," Parker nodded, "I told him to get Bones flowers, to make up for their fight."

"You're wise, P."

"I'm Yoda."

"I used to have a light saber key chain," Allison smiled. "It was green and it lit up."

"That's so cool." Parker's eyes went wide. "Why don't they have those anymore?"

"Because everything cool went out with the nineties," she laughed and turned into the parking lot for the park.

Parker jumped out of the car and pulled his Nerf gun out of his backpack.

"You ready for this, lady?" he asked, poised to shoot.

"You wouldn't shoot an unarmed civilian would you?"

"My dad shot a clown once," he said, lowering his gun a little. "But it was fake. I'm not supposed to know about it."

Allison laughed and took her own Nerf gun from the backseat of the car. Parker always told her things that he wasn't supposed to know.

"Alright Tex. Twenty paces. Go."

Parker laughed and walked away from her, then spun back around and shot a Nerf dart into her leg. She shouted and took off running after him, nailing him in the back. He did a dramatic fall to the ground, then waited until she was closer, and shot her in the head.

The war lasted for almost an hour before they both collapsed, exhausted, to the ground.

"That was the best Nerf gun fight EVER."

"I must say, I do agree, little man."

"Can we do it again?"

"Give me another week to recuperate."

"Recuperate. R-e-c-u-p-e-r-a-t-e. Recuperate."

"Nice job. I owe you a bag of gummi-worms for that, I think."

"Allison?"

"Yeah?"

"You're so cool."

"Thanks, Park. I try."

He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up from the ground.

"Come on, let's go see my dad at work. That vending machine has the best candy."

Allison checked her watch.

"Alright, but if he's busy I'm taking you home."

"Okay," he agreed, climbing into the back seat of her car.

They drove to the Hoover building in near silence, still tired from the warfare in the park. Allison found a spot in visitor parking and she and Parker went into the building together. He grabbed her hand as they boarded the elevator. He didn't like to be crowded, especially by a lot of people who were so much taller than him. She squeezed his hand and he smiled up at her. That smile did her in every time. The doors opened onto their floor and they left the elevator. Parker readjusted his backpack to keep it from slipping off of his shoulders, then led the way to his dad's office. The door was open and he shot through it when he noticed one of his favorite people standing inside.

"BONES!" he shouted, wrapping his arms around her middle.

"Hey Parker," she greeted, leaning down a little to hug him. He was just as touchy-feely as his father, and she was still getting used to these displays of affection from him.

"You and dad musta fixed your fight."

"Well, I wouldn't call it a fight."

"It was a fight, Bones," Booth said from his chair.

"It was not. It was a minor disagreement about which was the best way back to the Jeffersonian. We took your way and ran into construction and you cursed at me. It was a fight."

"I was mad, I-" he trailed off as he noticed a smirking Allison standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and she stepped inside.

"Allison, this is my partner, Dr.-"

"Temperance Brennan," Allison finished, her eyes wide and her face suddenly losing color.

Brennan had the same look on her face.

"Alli?"