A/N Italicized portions are lyrics from Stitches by Shawn Mendes. I did not create and I do not own the song. I also used the headcanon that John Laurens is always trying to drink three pints of beer in one night but he always passes out before he gets to three (hence the line "two pints of Sam Adams but I'm workin' on three!) and I read it on Tumblr somewhere but forgot the user. I don't own Hamilton (I wish!). Enjoy.
I thought that I'd been hurt before.
"Do you, Alexander Hamilton, take Elizabeth Schuyler to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?"
But no one's ever left me quite this sore.
"I do."
Your words cut deeper than a knife.
"Do you, Elizabeth Schuyler, take Alexander Hamilton to be your partner in life and to share a path of life with; equal in love, embraced as a mirror for your true self, promising to honor and cherish her/him, through good times and bad, until death do you part?"
Now I need someone to breathe me back to life.
"I do."
Got a feeling that I'm goin' under,
They exchange rings, delicate bands of silver entwined with hints of gold. "You may now kiss the bride."
But I know that I'll make it out alive,
Alexander's piercing violet eyes meet Eliza's soft brown as he cups her chin gently, making the kiss soft, sweet, almost chaste. He lifts his head and finds the set of eyes standing directly behind her. Dark, brooding green, with the faintest shimmer of tears. John Laurens'.
If I quit calling you my lover.
Laurens sees Hamilton tilt his head, the question he's dying to ask clear. Are you okay? The answer is no, absolutely not.
Move on.
You watch me bleed until I can't breathe.
He can't breathe.
I'm shaking, falling onto my knees.
Can hardly keep his knees from buckling beneath him as he mindlessly puts one foot in front of the other.
And now that I'm without your kisses,
Keeps his eyes trained on the ground, because he knows if he looks at their clasped hands he will almost certainly rip the rings from their fingers. His mind's a mess, senseless schemes to mar their marriage mixed with recollections that refuse to leave swirling through his head.
I'll be needing stitches.
Finally, they reach the end of the aisle after what seems like an eternity. The guests stand up and file into the banquet hall behind him and Angelica, where a string quartet is already playing and the lights are low and Alexander and Eliza are already dancing, twirling and Eliza's laughing and Alex is so happy and no he can't he can't he can't watch this.
Tripping over myself,
Immediately he wonders where the alcohol is, because maybe tonight he'll finally get to that third pint of John Adams if only to muddle the sight of the happy couple. Found it. Angelica is also making a beeline for the bar. Interesting. Turning his attention back to the endless supply of liquor, he selects the cheapest vodka there is, and downs a shot in one gulp.
I'm aching, begging you to come help.
He almost reaches for another, and then stops. Thinks about what he's doing. Is he really trying to get drunk on the night of Alexander's wedding? Hamilton is obviously head over heels for this girl. They will be happy.
And now that I'm without your kisses,
He takes the second shot anyway, not because he wants to avoid the couple, but because it's Hamilton's wedding night, and, well, a little bit of celebratory drunkenness never hurt anyone.
I'll be needing stitches.